Questions
Questions need asking
Harry has questions lots of questions that need answering like
Why did he kill him?
Whose side is he really on?
Why does he hate Gryffindor students?
What was the unbreakable vow he made and why?
Why did he tell voldemort about the prophecy?
But Harry knows he won't get them at least not yet anyway, not until he has finished Hogwarts or voldemort off (which ever comes first).
He knows he will have to wait bide his time but it makes him so angry.
The ministry is trying to find voldemort they haven't managed so far and never will he thinks.
He needs to find snape but to find him he needs to finish voldemort he knows deep down inside even when he does find snape he might not got the answers he wants……………..
He tosses and turns at night thinking of how much he needs to do, Dumbledore's death the greatest wizard he ever knew, he thinks of his parents everybody who died because of him, sirus, Dumbledore his parents. He knows they are connected voldemort snape he blames snape, he figures if snape hadn't heard the prophecy then he wouldn't have told voldemort who wouldn't have killed his parents and put him through hell.
Sirius wouldn't be dead if snape hadn't goaded him about the house about not getting out, Sirius wouldn't have gone to save him
And Dumbledore well if Dumbledore hadn't have been so trusting he wouldn't have died at snapes hands would he??????
He is so good at occlumency he could fool even Dumbledore.
Harry hates himself if he had argued his case more, got evidence would Dumbledore be dead now?????
He thinks now of the horcruxes
The locket
The cup
The diary
The snake
Of the piece inside voldemort
It numbs the pain just a little to think of these of what he has to do for Dumbledore for the world, for himself neither can live while the other survives.
He needs to live he knows though that he must either be a murderer or be murdered it's hard to think about
His friends Ron and Hermione prepared to risk everything for him and this fight, he knows they will and he loves them for it but he knows ultimately he is in this alone it he who must sacrifice everything to save the world from darkness.
Harry thinks of how Dumbledore knew this of his quest to help Harry there's so much Harry needs and wanted to know
How did his parents join the order?
Why did Dumbledore take it upon himself to protect Harry?
Why did he immobilize him in the tower?
Why didn't he fight the D.E?
Why didn't he let Harry save him?
Harry hates the feeling of helplessness, of knowing these questions are the ones that wont be answered no matter how hard he tries,
The thought are constantly in his mind, he has decided to take up occlumency again to try and be ready for the battle and for when his questions may finally be answered.
He has to be patient.