Title: Wounds That Never Heal
Author: mu149
Song: Jar Of Hearts
Artist: Christina Perri
Date: July 11, 2010
Summary: "Na-naruto?" My head whipped up and I dropped the sunflower, staring as the shadows parted to show the raven from my darkest nightmares and my best fantasies, standing only feet away from me. Was I expected to forgive him after he destroyed my will to live? After he destroyed me? Again? Even after he had left, I had waited for him, hoping this was nothing more than a bad joke, but the longer the nights pressed against me, the more I fell into my own pit of darkness, wishing that life would end. So, I hardened myself into a facade that would never fade until I was forced to face the only one that could break it. Break me.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Naruto nor the idea that Sasuke and Naruto getting into a little fight or the song for that matter, but the story is my work of three drilling hours in front of a computer so I would like the credit that comes with such hard work.
Beta'd by: A-block
Rated: T
Alrighty! This was bugging me for the past few days, so I finally got access to a computer to type it up! Another oneshot in the bag! *cheering* So here's the game plan, I'm going to work on the next chapter of Naruto In Wonderland (because truthfully, it's going to be long in order to put all the stuff I planned to in it- or maybe I'll divide it into two parts) and I'll try to find a new idea for the next Reunite chapter. Drifting Memories... my head's spinning just by thinking about it so I'm going to see how it works. And thank you Elder-sama for betaing my story even considering you like death. *^.^*
Yours In Wonderland,
mu149
/flashbacks/
lyrics to song
Kyuubi
"talking"
'Thoughts'
I walked mechanically down the empty streets of Konohagakure, finally feeling safe in the dark, now that...
A brief, but intense pain clutched at my chest as I tried to force air into the lungs that refused to breath. It hurt, just like always whenever I thought of him. I had tried to ignore any connection that I had once had to that person and even now, I imagined him walking from the shadows, the same way he did that night so many years ago...
Kit, you okay?
I smiled softly at the always comforting voice of Kyuubi, my only saviour during those hard, lonely nights alone. "Yeah, Kyuu-kun. I'm fine, thanks."
I listened comfortably to his soft purring as I continued my walk back home after my long term mission. It had been the exact thing I needed after Lady Hokage had finally allowed me to discharg from the hospital. It had given me time to ignore most things that would lead me to thinking of him again, but still, the dark raven found a way to my thoughts as the clouds covered the shadows. I tensed at the sound of footsteps and turned around quickly to see Sai turning a corner, his head bowed into a book that Kakashi had given him before we left. I smiled softly to myself before at my own paranoia, "It was just Sai."
Of course it was. He's not coming back. Ever.
"You're right."
I walked more determinedly before I glanced a sudden flash of yellow through the many trees scattered within the village. Heading towards it, I gasped in surprise at the sight of a sunflower, placed neatly on a tree trunk. The irritant burn that preceded tears came quickly as I picked it up, the memory already forcing its way to the front of my mind before I could stop it.
Naruto, don't!
/I could see the glare of his sharingan even as the shadows danced across his face due to the trees that flew in the chilling wind. No matter how cold that wind was, it was not the cause of the ice that caught hold of my heart and left me frozen in place. "Y-you're joking, right?"
Sasuke rose his head and stared at me and I flinched, backing away. His eyes were colder than the icebergs of the country hidden in the snow and they flared with disgust. "S-sasuke..."
I reached out towards him, wishing more than anything that this was nothing more than a simple dare that had gone too far. He was in front of me then, and I felt the pain that came with being grabbed so roughly. "You idiot," he hissed, clutching my arm so tightly that he ripped the jacket, "You actually thought that I was serious? Why would I stay with a demon's spawn?"
I froze, ignoring the blood that stained my arm as he threw it away disgusted, glaring at his hand like he had touched a disease. "S-sa..."
"Don't say my name!"
I flinched as his sharingan blazed, trapping me instantly within the illusion that he created with it. "You wanna know the easiest part," he growled as the world around me began to bleed black, "You were so easily fooled. Even now, you deny what's right in front of you."
I stared at him as I was surrounded by a sudden flash of red as pain erupted from my abdomen. "You were ordered to kill me and yet, you allow yourself to be caught by this genjutsu. You could easily break it if you wanted. Use that beast's chakra that you have."
"No! I don't want to hurt you!" I growled, trying to not allow the genjutsu to overwhelm me.
"Then let this be our goodbye."
I was suddenly confronted by such a familiar sensation that I immediately reacted to it. Sasuke's lips pressed against mine firmly, opening slightly to intoxicate me with the very thought of him. His tongue pushed its way into my mouth and dominated the kiss, leaving me hot at the roughness. He pulled away and his voice called out, sounding far away, "Good bye, Kyuubi no Kitsune."
"Sasuke!"
Another burst of pain erupted and this time, forced me into the world of darkness that was more inviting than my reality. Maybe even too inviting./
I threw the sunflower away, wrapping myself into my own arms as the tears escaped from me in surplus.
Kit...
"No! Leave me alone! It's your fault! He left because of you! I hate you! Get out of my head!"
I took off running, forgetting that Kyuubi was a part of me and that I was doing nothing more than tiring myself out. I continued running, ignoring the the burning sensation in my throat and legs as I forced myself far from the village and the connection it had to the one I had lost. When I had stopped, I found myself in the one place that I hated most of all.
The final valley.
This was where Sasuke had left the first time.
Where we had our first real kiss.
And where he left again.
There were sunflowers blooming along the banks, where we had planted them together during my birthday. I had never had it in me to kill them. Now, they were all I had left of him. Knowing that I had been ridiculous running away from Kyuubi, I picked up a sunflower, remembering the day that we had planted these.
/It had been warm and we had resided along the bank as I stared at Sasuke while he inspected the small lumps of earth. "You know they're probably not going to bloom too well over here, Naruto."
I was memorizing how his lips moved as he said my name when he asked me this question.
"Naruto?"
"Y-yeah, teme?" I blushed softly, finally meeting his eyes.
They were trying to analyze me and I looked away quickly, embarrassed about my secret thoughts.
"What are you looking at?" he sat down , glancing at me with curious eyes that glistened like obsidian light.
"N-none of your business."
I grew redder as he continued to stare at me and my air completely stopped as he reached up and softly pushed my headband up, laying his hand softly on my forehead, "Do you have a fever? You keep getting red."
I blushed darker as he slowly traced his hand to caress my cheek lightly. Quickly standing and walking hurriedly to the water, I call behind me, "I-I bet that I c-can stand on water... longer..."
He came up behind me and slowly wrapped his arms around me, snuggling into my neck, "What was that, Naruto."
I shook softly as his breath brushed across my neck. "What are you doing, teme?" I whispered, finding myself under his spell just by being so close to him.
"Hn."
"Te..." I gave up trying to play normal, "Sasuke, please don't play with me."
"Who said I was playing?"
I pulled out of his grasp and turned to stare at him, "Why, then?"
My voice was so soft, I wasn't sure that he had heard me until he smirked softly and cupped my cheek, "Dobe."
His lips were pressed against mine so suddenly that I forgot to breath, but quickly remembered as he pulled me closer to him. He always smelled of vanilla, no matter how many times he trained and I accepted that it was just his smell. And right now, I was already addicted. So, when his tongue flicked out softly, I opened my mouth, gladly welcoming him. I was so intoxicated by his taste that I easily lost the fight for dominance. When he pulled away for air, I was redder than the tomatoes that he loved to eat. "Sa-suke."
He smirked again, for the first time, not in mock laughter, "Yeah?"
I blushed darker, not knowing how to voice my demand, but my body easily did it for me, my hips immediately thrusting into him. He seemed surprised and I blushed redder, embarrassed by my bodies' reaction to him. He chuckled darkly and I was surprised as he lifted me up, allowing my legs to wrap themselves around his waist. "All you had to do was ask, Naruto. I've been waiting for a long time."
I blushed darkly as he kissed me again./
I didn't have a care in the world at that time and would do anything for things to go back to the way they were at that time. Before he knew eactly what gave me the power that he had witnessed on few occasions.
/"Naruto!" Kakashi screamed.
His voice didn't even land into my thoughts as the blood red chakra flowed around me, forming already three of the nine tails needed to cause me to turn completely into Kyuubi. The enemy that I had been fighting stared at me in horror, dropping his weapon that had been trained against Sasuke, threatening to end the life that I cared about the most in this world. The screams of that man echoed for hours as I tortured his team and then him, feeling an intense pleasure in seeing their pain-stricken faces moments before their deaths. The problem was, as I peered at the terrified face of the unlucky person cursed to be my last victim, I realized that I wouldn't be able to stop once he was dead. Thankfully, at that time, I heard the one voice that I would listen to, "NARUTO!"
I felt the chakra slip away as I stared up at the wide eyes of Sasuke, shaking visibly as he reached out towards me. All of Kyuubi's chakra was instantly drained and I knew that I had none of my own left. "Na-naruto?"/
My head whipped up and I dropped the sunflower, staring as the shadows parted to show the raven from my darkest nightmares and my best fantasies, standing only feet away from me.
i know i can't take one more step towards you
My first emotion was rejection. There was no way that Sasuke was back.
cause all thats waiting is regret
The last time I saw him, he was disgusted by what he discovered was inside of me. What he thought I was.
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
"What are you doing here, Uchiha?"I called calmly, my tone dead
you lost the love i loved the most
"I wanted to see you. I missed you."
i learned to live, half alive
and now you want me one more time
"Leave. Before I get the Anbu." I turned to leave, but he's already there, in front of me.
"Please. Naruto."
And who do you think you are?
runnin' 'round leaving scars
"You honestly think," I growled, stepping farther away from him, "That I'd come back to you after what you did to me!"
collecting your jar of hearts
tearing love apart
"I know. I'm sorry."
you're gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
"Sorry," I scoffed, hurt welling up inside of me, hiding it behind the cold expression that I'd adopted after he left for the second time, "You think that just saying 'sorry' will fix that. I stopped waiting for you a long time ago."
so don't come back for me
who do you think you are?
An idea suddenly dawned on me. Before I left, Lady Hokage had asked me if I was willing to forgive Sasuke for what he did.
And Kakashi.
And Sai.
And Iruka.
And Ino.
And Kiba.
And Sakura.
i hear you're asking all around
if i am anywhere to be found
"You've been here before!" I stared at him incredulously, feeling betrayed, "And you didn't even have the guts to come talk to me. You had to ask everyone else to spy for you."
but i have grown too strong
to ever fall back in your arms
He remained silent, refusing to confirm what I already knew, "Do you have any idea what you did to me? I died because of you, Sasuke! Do you have any idea how that felt? How it still feels?"
Kit, you need to calm down.
And ive learned to live, half alive
and now you want me one more time
"I understand how you must feel, but please try to see it from my point of view, Naruto. I didn't know about any of this when you suddenly turned into some creature and mauled those men. Do you think it was easy for me? I tried!"
And who do you think you are?
runnin' 'round leaving scars
collecting your jar of hearts
and tearing love apart
"You mean... Even before?"
I easily remembered the change that Sasuke had taken when we returned from said mission where I lost it. Seven months before he had left. "You pretended to love me for seven months."
you're gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
so don't come back for me
who do you think you are?
"I had no idea what was going on! No one told me what had happened!" he started to sound desperate.
and it took so long just to feel alright
remember how to put back the light in my eyes
"How did you think I felt, Uchiha! I found out by a man who tried to kil me. For years, I was ignored, hated, and isolated for somthing no one would tell me and finally, I was told moments before some guy who I thought I could trust, tried to kill me! You felt left out! I still didn't fully understand exactly what that meant until a year later."
i wish i had missed the first time that we kissed
cause you broke all your promises
"I had no idea, Naruto."
and now you're back
you don't get to get me back
"That's because you didn't care."
And who do you think you are?
running around leaving scars
collecting your jar of hearts
and tearing love apart
"I swear I never meant to hurt you. Something just... snapped. I came back to make things right. I came back for you."
you're gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
so don't come back for me
don't come back at all
"I told you. I stopped waiting for you a long time ago."
who do you think you are?
running around leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
and tearing love apart
you're gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
"You should leave, Uchiha. Before I get the Anbu after you."
so don't come back for me
don't come back at all
"Naruto..."
I was pulled back and before I could fight against him, our lips connected and I lost all the will to fight against him instantly at the smell of that always present scent of vanilla.
who do you think you are?
"Please," he breathed softly against my lips.
who do you think you are?
I pulled away from him, tears clearly visible in my eyes, "I can't. Not again."
I turned and walked away, crying the entire time.
who do you think you are?
That's actually my first T rated oneshot. Yay! I'm not a obsessive SasuNaru yaoi fan... all the time... *coughing nervously* So... Read and review if you want to! I'll try to work on my other fanfics I've just had some... computer problems...
Yours In Wonderland,
mu149