Gilbert thinks back on how he feels about Elizaveta. Enjoy~

Missing You

I was never really one to admit to silly things like weaknesses and love. After all, I had a reputation to uphold. If anyone else knew that I was really frail underneath my suit of armor and that I had weaknesses that they could easily pick at, where would that leave me? I would be nothing but a memory that doesn't deserve much attention and doesn't need to be written in history books. So that's why I constantly believed that I had to get stronger and stronger, no matter what.

Things only got worse when I met her.

Originally, I thought Elizaveta Herdevary was a boy, just like me. Then again, everyone did. She wasn't even sure what gender she was until she finally hit puberty. As much as I'll never say it out loud, I'm glad to have been the first to discover that she was a girl. I don't really know why, but it makes me feel special. We always fought, and I always teased her, which is probably why she hates me sometimes and refuses to talk to me. But even so, I guess you can say that we were best friends despite all the fighting.

It would be natural to assume that I fell in love with her when she had fully grown into a woman. Well, I would like the believe that, too, but that's not how it happened. I guess you can say that I've always had a soft spot for her. Even when I thought she was a boy, I'd always send a few extra soldiers to her armies and sneak a few supplies here and there if I could. Of course, I'd never tell her that they were from me. I would just leave them at her boss' house, hoping that it would be of great help to her.

When she grew up, that was the best and worst time of my life. I had stayed the same old (awesome) me while she blossomed into a person that I almost couldn't recognized. She had let herself become more feminine—not that I really minded—and I felt like I had lost my best friend in the whole entire world. To make things worse, her boss often made compromises with my cousin, Roderich. From then on, he and Elizaveta would always be collaborating to better their nations.

Soon before long, Elizaveta was swoon over him. She didn't have to tell me, I could just tell by the way she talked about him. There would be a certain shimmer in those emerald eyes that could only be shown through true happiness. It seemed that only a short time later, they were going to be married.

It just isn't fair.

"I wanted you to be the first to know," she had told me. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell if I was hurt, angry, jealous or a little bit of everything. Of course she kept her persistent smile and asked me something that I wasn't really expecting.

"Do you think you can walk me down the aisle?"

To say that I had mixed feelings about this would be a complete understatement. Ask me to walk her down the aisle was basically giving me the title of being able to give her away. To me, that meant so much and I felt privileged. But to give her away to someone else...I'll admit that for nights on end, I would disappear into the nearest bars and taverns and drink myself half-blind, hoping that she would just pick someone else so that I could avoid the wedding all together. Soon after, anything that had to do with flowers, decorated cakes and dresses began to annoy the hell out of me.

When the day of the wedding actually arrived, I couldn't think straight anymore. I was probably more nervous than her and Roderich. There was even a point where I thought I was going to throw up and pass out. But when the time came, I ended up being so captivated by her. She was more gorgeous in that dress than I had ever seen before. Her brown locks framed her face almost perfectly. With her youthful appearance, she didn't need any make-up. The only extra she had was a few white flowers in her hair that complemented the pink ones that were always there.

Walking her down was the hardest part for me to go through. I let her go so slowly, to the point where I think she noticed that I was hesitant. But she turned back around to face her moment-to-be husband. A part of me still imagines what would happen if I had said, "I object".

But there wasn't much to say. She had changed, and her heart didn't belong to me. Now, I can only watch as she lives her life loving another man. All I can do is miss her.

A/N: Yeah...I didn't want Gilbert to be too "I'M F*CKING AWESOME" because well, he must have other feelings, right? Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this little drabble. Please review~