Sigh. I miss my friends. I'm holed up in my room doing my math homework, and, FINALLY, inspiration strikes. Missing my friends, from camp that is, has sent me in to thinking of things that I should never put in my fan fiction. I will accept flames from Pie, Ex-Smurfette, and Just Another Weasley on this because they are all going to go ballistic when they see I have quoted them and others. Well, flames will be accepted from other people, but those three are most justified. Disclaimers at the end. I promise. Oh, yeah, and I'm not making certain characters represent certain people. I'd run out of characters too fast.
THINGS I PROMISE TO NEVER, EVER PUT IN MY FAN FICS!
Vash: Wait, isn't this the same thing as what they did to China after they bombed Pearl Harbor?
Meryl: Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, genius.
Milly: ::cries:: I hate it when people bring that up...
Legato ::pensively:: In perspective of...
Meryl: ::to Milly just after Wolfwood*SPOILER WON'T TYPE IT*:: Imagine Knives Millions falling out a tenth story window after being stabbed to death by a dull plastic knife...
(A/N: yeah, I know, it wasn't Knives, but for the sake of this, I changed it)
Random Thomas: Moooooooooooooooooooo ::laughs hysterically::
Any Girl in Trigun: ::in cheerleading uniforms:: I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot! (etc)
All Trigun characters: ::in a big circle, all having arms across each other's shoulders:: Bye, bye, Miss American Pie, drove my chevy to the levee but the levee was dry....
Milly: Daddy! ::glomps Wolfwood::
Wolfwood: ::slaps forehead:: Not again!
Milly: Mommy! ::glomps Legato:: (Yes, I wrote Legato)
Legato: Wha? Since when am I her mother?
Milly: ::sternly, to Meryl:: But he's....Vash ::says Vash with air of disgust::
Milly: I HAVE SEXY GREEN FEET!
Everyone else: O.O (O.O. for Vash!)
Meryl: ::to eight teen-age girls, only one of whom is shorter than her:: Okay, girls, we're having the pizza in the snack bar after evening program.
Girls: YAY!
Girls: FARMER CHICKEN!
Vash: ::blush::
Meryl: Not again....
Wolfwood: And what will you do if you catch people making out?
Legato: We take Polaroid pictures of both of you...
Knives: And send them to your parents and in-laws.
Milly: O.O
::Milly and Wolfwood both cover hickies on their necks with their hands::
Vash: ::bites into pierogi:: This pierogi is spicy!
All at table: ::start intense pierogi dissection::
Milly: Ow! I stubbed my toe! I have to go to the nurse!
Meryl: Have you guys noticed that she always stubs her toe on days she has to clear the table?
Everyone else: ::nods::
Vash: ::drunk and singing:: Your father, your mother, your sister, your brother...
Meryl: STOP SINGING THAT DAMN SONG! ::slaps him::
Legato: Hickory, dickory, dock...
Legato: ::sings:: I'm a little teapot, short and stout....
Knives: ::in a monotone, droning on:: And genetic engineering is wrong because....
Knives: ::still in monotone, acting as a teacher:: Okay. Since there are less boys than girls, in this class, the boys can pick. Vash?
Vash: I'll work with Meryl.
Meryl: Damn.
Milly: Oh, look, there goes Vash running in the rain.
Meryl: That's probably the first shower he's had in two weeks...
Meryl: I spent seven hours coloring those stupid cell diagrams! SEVEN HOURS!
Vash: Wow. I spent fifteen minutes doing that.
Meryl: I hate you.
Milly/Meryl/Dominique: ::singing:: Why do you build me up, Buttercup baby, just to let me down...
Milly/Meryl: Hey Mickey, you so fine, you so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey! Hey Mickey!
Meryl: YOU JUST HAD TO TAKE A PICTURE, DIDN'T YOU??? FOR ONCE IN MY MISERABLE LIFE I WAS HAPPY AND YOU HAD TO GO AND RUIN IT BY TAKING A PICTURE!!! ::runs off and cries::
Knives: Okay, by a show of hands, who wants Vash back?
::no one raises their hand except Wolfwood::
Knives: Okay, Vash, you're still banned from here.
Wolfwood: ::on unicycle, juggling Angel Arm, Cross Punisher, Stun Gun, and a Derringer:: Skinny German Juggle Boy!
Wolfwood: I love that hair flip thing that girls do.
::Dominique and Milly flip their hair::
Wolfwood: I love that!
::Meryl deep throats a twizzler::
Meryl: ::looking at insanely long water ride lines:: You know, by the time we get on any of those water rides, we're going to have to go home.
::Knives, Vash, and Wolfwood are all asleep in a room they share with Legato. Alarm clock is going off::
Legato: ::runs into room:: Oh shit. ::slams door and yells:: YOU GUYS KNOW THAT WE HAVE TO BE IN CLASS IN LESS THAN FIFTEEN MINUTES, RIGHT?
::Knives, Vash, and Wolfwood look at him, bleary-eyed, not understanding a word of what he just said::
Milly: YOU ATE ALL MY GOLDFISH!
Meryl: Yup.
Vash: ::on stage, with a microphone:: Because of time constraints, I can only sing three verses of this song. ::looks around at people who are giving him dagger looks:: Oh, and anyone who wants to sing along can join in.
Legato: ::to Milly:: You shouldn't speak to your mother like that! (A/N: If you missed the whole point of this, reread it)
Vash: ::chatting with random guy on the Internet:: This guy says morphene is better than sex.
Meryl: Oh?
Vash: But, he wouldn't know, since he's a virgin.
Vash: ::still chatting with same guy:: I've just taken away his sex privileges.
Legato: Why should he care if he's a virgin?
::everyone hugging and crying and saying "see you in 49 weeks!"::
Meryl: Ben and Jerry's ice cream is the world's most perfect food.
Milly: CHOCOLATE FIX!
Milly/Meryl/Dominique: ::singing:: So kiss me and smile for me
Vash: I thought I said if I heard that damn song one more time....
Wolfwood: We know. You'd kill them.
Legato: ::sings:: LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
Legato: I'm supervising. They'll let me get away with it.
Meryl: ::dancing around her room and singing, using a hairbrush as a microphone:: I'm blue da ba dee da ba die
Vash: That's not cool...
Meryl: ::slaps him:: Stop saying that. You're getting everyone else to say it. That's not cool.
Vash: Like you, for instance?
Meryl: ::slaps him again::
::Milly sits on the steps of a building taking pictures of every person who walks past her::
Knives: Hey! Look! ::points at Legato's car::
Meryl: So?
Legato: ::leans out window:: HI!
Knives: ::chases car:: GIMME A RIDE! ::pulls open door and jumps in car::
Legato: ::sighs:: Meryl, you want one too?
Meryl: We're going to the library.
Legato: The library's RIGHT THERE! ::points at building ten feet away and slaps Knives::
Knives: Give me a ride anyway.
Meryl: ::eating gummy fruit salad:: This stuff's addictive. What'd you put in it? Crack? Meth?
Dominique: No. That's just how it is.
Meryl: Okay. ::finishes bag:: Got anymore?
::everyone eating gummy fruit salad::
Meryl: HEAR YE HEAR YE! EVERYONE TAKE OUT WHATEVER FOOD YOU HAVE LEFT OVER AND WE'LL HAVE A PARTY!
Wolfwood: The menu for tonight's dinner is--
Everyone else: Chicken or Manicotti.
Wolfwood: How'd you know?
Meryl: Has anyone seen Milly?
Dominique: She's out with Nick.
Meryl: Like I said, has anyone seen her?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe I'll add to the madness. Depends on whether or not I'm still alive after posting this...
Disclaimers: I don't own Trigun, Bring It On, "Hey Mickey", "Blue", "American Pie", "Build Me Up Buttercup", or anything else I might have stolen. I do own some of the quotes, though my friends own the rest. ^_~. R&R and maybe I'll come up with more madness!