Lord of the Stud

by Corgidog88

sam is over weight, frodo is on drugs, and gandalf is the only one in the fellowship with a level head! review, please!

1. Authoress's Note and Something Special

Lord Of the Stud

Disclaimer: The plot, the idea, and the crap are not mine (oh, wait, the crap is mine!lol!) The characters' stupid names and personalaties are my own.

In case you get confused, I have provided a list of the characters' new and improved names:

Frodo= Pogo

Sam= Ham

Gandalf= Goddalf

Bilbo= Bobo

Legolas= Legless

Aragorn= Arrogant

Arwen= Arsewen

Gimli= Gypsy

Boromir= Boredmir

Merry= Hairy

Pippin= Piping

And so the story unfolds...

A hoppit named Pogo stood outside of his tiny home. Hoppits were tiny creatures that were much like humans, only they were only 3 or 4 feet tall. They were called hoppits because of their strange desire to hop.

Pogo sighed and listened for the dreadful sound of Goddalf's horse. He hated Goddalf ever since Goddalf had cursed him. Pogo had been handsome, once, with long brown hair, brown eyes, and a surprisingly muscular body. Now he was destined to look like Elijah Wood.

Suddenly, Goddalf came riding up to the house where Pogo and his Uncle Bobo lived. "Hello, nasty Fartbag," he said to Pogo.

"Hello, old hag," said Pogo, who then spit out a mouthful of swearwords, some of which had not been invented yet. Hmm...It must be time for my daily throwing- up, thought Pogo, who was a treasure trove of diseases such as O.C.D., A.D.D., and anorexia. The drug dealer whom Pogo visited weekly had recommended barfing once a day, and Pogo had used his advice. Pogo turned and walked toward the house, maybe to throw up on Uncle Bobo.

Uncle Bobo stood in front of a mirror, singing, "I am one sexy bit%, yeah, baby, yeah!" Upon seeing that Goddalf had arrived, he went outside to greet his old friend.

Pogo saw Bobo's "sexy bit% routine and grimaced. He must be drunk or high...if he's sniffed and of my cocaine, I'm going to be so mad... that's my favorite drug and it's expensive..., Pogo thought.

"Yo," said Goddalf when he saw Bobo. "How are you feeling about your birthday, dude?" It was Bobo's 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000th birthday that day.

"Oh, I have something special planned," said Bobo, smiling. Goddalf knew this could mean nothing good.

So did you like it? It's not as funny as I'd hoped it would be, but it's a start... R&R please!!!!!!!!!!!!!