Inspired by Sweet Sacrifice- Evanescence.
They say fear is only in our minds, its only in our heads. A young pale woman grunted at the thought.
If fear is only in our minds then why has it taken her over completely and without mercy. Taken all that used to be her and is no longer. She traced a finger over the white pillow just as she had traced a finger over the pale and incandescent skin of his chest so many times before. Pansy sniffed, it no longer smelled of him, only her scent lingered. With the back of her hand she wiped off her tears, wishing with her whole entirety that she would one day forget his name. Forget his sweet embrace, his hot breath tickling her lips, her face, her neck.
Fear is only in our minds but taking over all the time. Taking over of her now, her fear intoxicated her, a poison that slowly spread through her body with only one end, her death. Fear held her in its embrace as she shook on the satin silk bed, fear of his decisive farewell, fear of what she might do. Fear of waiting for him, fear of running from him. If she ran would he conceive that she's enough? Will it then be too late? If she stayed will she always remain in the shadows, in the shadows he has so carefully placed her.
Perhaps one day it would be he who drowns in the pain he has caused, in the person he has created, in the fear she let him create in her. His indifference burned the fear in a blaze, how could he kiss her oh so sweetly and turn his head and stare as if he had never known her. It was this that she feared the most, the way he made her feel whole and then ripped her apart. Fear that she was forever marked. She grinned bitterly. She was marked, far too marked to go on without him. Pansy couldn't, wouldn't bare it alone but she couldn't bare it with him. No one could save her now, not he, not even she could save herself except perhaps for the dark abyss that each day seemed more reachable as it seemed impossible. She feared with shaking sobs that he was pushing her to her end, fear that he will remain unscathed by the fate they both brought upon her.
His fingers tapped on the door gently, he waited, but no answer came. Again he tapped his fingers over the wooden door, he waited, yet still there was no answer. His hands formed into fists and he knocked on the door, surely she would hear him now, no matter what part of the expansive room she stood.
No answer came.
He breathed in heavily, how could she not feel the anxiety he felt, if she were there she would, she knew him best, she would know why he was knocking on her door this star filled night. His grin still did not wavered, it could not, no bad news could change that. POP.
Draco Malfoy apparated into his mistress, his love's chamber. His gray eyes scanned the room for her short black hair, her tiny body, her deep blue eyes. But he found none. His grin did waver then. The door to the bathroom stood ajar, but his feet would not move. It was fear that kept him plastered on the marble floor. He would not let his eyes see what his heart, beating at his Adam's apple had befallen. Draco shook his head rather aggressively. No, no, it couldn't be so, he thought over and over as if this alone could make it not true.
He felt his legs moving though he wasn't aware of them, his eyes wanted to be sure, though he didn't, he wanted not to see, he wanted to feign ignorance. Oh it was inevitable fear that crept into him now, fear of seeing what he already knew to be. Her presence wasn't felt, her scent lingered though she was not there to claim it. Draco Malfoy gasped, his head shaking from side to side. Gasping he fell on his knee. Pansy's small body laid on the bathroom floor before him, her hands resting on either side of her as blood oozed from both wrists.
Red on white. Ghastly. Not his Pansy, no. Pain drowned him then as he lifted a shaky finger to caress her face, he pulled it back, she was too cold. Again Draco caressed her face, her bare neck. He whimpered, tears rushing down his eyes. He cried now in front of her and she was not there to see, to see what she had done, to see what he had pushed her to do.
Had it really been him? Had he done such a splendid job of keeping his emotions hidden from everyone, even from her. He shook his head. This did not matter. She was gone, and she had taken him along with her. What a selfish thing to do, what a heartless thing to do to him.
"Pansy, my pansy, how could you, you stupid, stupid girl," he growled, chocking back on his sobs. Draco took her into his arms, she was icy cold, no more warmth was in her. How long had it been? Hours? A day? Draco Malfoy shook his head as he pressed her against him, kissing her cold face, her neck. His tears fell on to her face, her body limp in his arms. A cry of anger and pain left Draco's lips, ripping through his heart, his very soul. How could she? How could he? Why had he been so stupid?
Could he had prevented this? Could he had saved her, if only he displayed his love to her? Could he have saved them both? But what were these than just absurd questions without answers. Draco growled, tears rushing down his eyes as he fell back on the pool of blood. From her left hand he took the small weapon that had done all the damage. He pulled his hawthorn and unicorn hair 10 inch wand and waved it once over the metal instrument, and in a blink of an eye it had become a dagger. He held it in his hands, twirling it this way and that. His cruel eyes turned back to his dead lover resting on the pool of blood
Fear had driven her to do the atrocious, fear of losing him, fear of him one day not coming back to their secret embrace. And now it was fear of not knowing how to go on without her, and now was the right time, later he couldn't die beside her and at the moment that seemed the most beautiful of deaths. He would do it here, where she had chosen to give her last breath, here in the place where so many memories of them were shared. Draco Malfoy gripped the dagger tightly in his right hand bringing it up to his neck.
"My body will rest with your cold one my beloved, our bodies will now be as close as they could ever have been in this world of the living," he growled as he held her to him with his left hand. "Don't leave without me love, wait, I'll be with you soon." In one agile movement his head hanged, with a crooked smile he stared at her one last time and then he was no more.