Notes
Trigger Warnings: Suicide and Drug Use are mentioned in the following work.
This is kind of based off of my real life and how I felt in the months following my little sisters suicide last year. Any criticism or any comments of any sort really are welcome but this was more just for myself. It was almost therapeutic to write this. Maybe someone can get something out of this too.
Marinette had been having a perfectly normal day until Alya had convinced her to go to a café with her, Nino, and Adrien for lunch. On their way there a group of teens ran past them.
"We need to find a place to hide now!" one of them yelled.
Marinette and the other exchanged looks as they watched the teens continue to run down the street. While a bad feeling was rising in Marinettes chest there was still a chance those kids were running from something other than an akuma.
"Why is she after us anyway?" another said nearly crying.
"Get back here!" they heard a yell.
Down the street was a girl, she looked to be about 18 and had black lipstick and eyeshadow. She was wearing a completely red, just a T-shirt and jeans it looked like. Overall she looked pretty normal but then Marinette saw it. The translucent mask, the telltale sign of an akuma. The girl flicked her finger and a bike rack flew forward hitting one of the teens in the stomach and forcing him to land right in front of the girl.
"You and your group are going to get exactly what you deserve." The akuma growled.
"We should hide!" Marinette and Adrien said in unison.
After ducking inside a little shop Marinette made an excuse to duck out the back so she could transform.
"Tikki, transform me!" Marinette yelled.
As Ladybug she used her yo-yo to get back to the akuma as quickly as possible. Luckily she hadn't harmed the boy yet. She was just holding him by his collar trying and yelling at him.
"Where are the others going? What places do you guys find safe?" she was asking.
The girl flicked her fingers and a stop sign ripped itself from the ground and into the girl's hand. She narrowed her eyes at the boy and held the weapon up threateningly.
"Hey, maybe you should follow the signs advice and stop for a second." Came a familiar voice.
Jumping down to land in front of the girl was Chat Noir, Ladybug jumped down from her hiding place to join him.
"Let the boy go." Ladybug said.
The girl turned her eyes to them but made no move to let the boy go.
"Oh, if it isn't Paris' hero's. Look, I just want him to answer a few questions then I'll be leaving him behind. You two should really be staying out of my way." The girl said.
"I have a feeling your way of getting information out of him isn't very pleasant." Chat Noir said getting in fighting stance.
The girl frowned and she seemed to sigh.
"Look, getting my hands on one of these kids was pretty difficult to begin with since they'll hide anywhere like the rat they are. I need to eventually get your Miraculous' anyway but if I lose this kid because you guys start a fight with me now, I'm gonna be pretty pissed off." She said.
"Well, prepare to be pissed off because we aren't letting you lay another hand on that boy." Ladybug said.
She shot out her yo-yo and it wrapped around the boys waist, Ladybug yanked and pulled the boy out of the girls grasp. She heard an angry growl from the girl and watched somewhat shocked as the girl flicked her hands and the glass from the windows of the buildings next to her shattered outwards. Marinette covered the boy while he turned down an alley to get away.
"Why would you let him leave when all I wanted was information?" the girl growled flicking her fingers again to send some objects from the stores flying at the heroes.
Ladybug and Chat easily deflected all the objects but they realized she wasn't going to be an easy akuma to take down.
"We're here to keep Paris' citizens safe and that includes people like him." Ladybug said.
"I'm so tired of you heroes and people like you. You pretend to care about all of Paris but you don't even know half of the people who live in it. You don't even know who you just 'saved'." She said glaring at the two superheroes.
"We may not know everyone by name but that doesn't mean we don't care about their safety and happiness." Ladybug said defiantly.
"HA!" the girl laughed though there was no happiness in the sound. "No one really cares. You guys care least of all. You help the akumatized victims get unakumatized but what about the aftermath? They're left to pick up the pieces and it's not like what caused them pain in the first place is resolved. You didn't fix their problem and you don't care to as long as they aren't out getting in trouble."
Ladybug felt like she'd been slapped. They did try to stay when they could to help the person out but normally they had to take off quickly before they transformation wore off. It's true that some of the reasons people got akumatized never really got fixed but was that really their fault. They did what they could.
"What we do is still better than destroying all of Paris going after some kids." Chat said defending himself and his partner.
A darkness fell over the girls face as she stared the tow heroes down. Her hands balled into fist and she seemed to start shaking.
"If you knew what they contributed to you would go after them too. They deserve it, it's justice." The girl growled.
Ladybug decided to do something she never remembered having tried before. It might work but she realized it could also make things worse. Maybe it was worth the risk though.
"Why did you get akumatized?" she asked.
She was still in a battle stance just in case this went south.
"Why? Because my sister was taken from me and someone has to take responsibility." She snapped.
Both Ladybug and Chat Noir stiffened at those words. They glanced at each other worriedly. This girl's sister had been kidnapped? They had never dealt with someone who was wronged in such a way. If that was the case though they could help. They could get the police involved too and surely they would find her sister rather quickly.
"Was it those kids who kidnapped your sister?" Chat asked.
"Kidnapped?" the girl sneered. "My sister is dead because of them!"
Ladybug felt like her strength drained out of her. She was sure she turned white as a sheet as her body suddenly felt cold. This was deep. A person was wounded in a much more traumatic way then they were used to. Hawkmoth had gone too far by akumatizing someone who was emotionally unstable from that kind of grief. It was low even for him and Ladybug would never forgive him for this. Right now she had to find some way to deal with this though.
"How?" she asked tentatively.
"Long story short those kids got a recovering addict back on drugs and since she had a bad trip she was hearing voices. To make the voices stop she killed herself. It's their fault. They were supposed to be her friends! A friend wouldn't do that! They killed my little sister and if I don't punish them no one will! Nothing anyone says makes this better and nothing anyone does can fix this but I can make the people who caused it pay." The girl said her voice shaking the whole time.
"I know you. I saw the article about your sister. She had just graduated hadn't she?" Chat asked his voice quiet and shaky.
"Yes. She was so proud of that. She was held back a year and always wanted to graduate on time at 18 and she achieved it." The girls face looked wistful for a moment but then it went straight back to anger and sadness. "And she would've been able to achieve so much more had it not been for those so called friends of hers!"
"Calm down. Look we can try to do this right. You don't have to go after them this way. Is it what your sister would've wanted?" Ladybug asked.
"She's gone so what's it matter what she would want now. What matters is these kids won't be punished by the law, we already tried that. Enough talking though, I need your Miraculous so I can stay this way and get my revenge on them." The girl said.
She flicked her wrist and a car came towards the group, the girl jumped over it easily and Chat and Ladybug just barely dodged it and hid behind another parked car.
"Okay so that didn't work. Now what?" Chat asked.
He was clearly shaken, looking at the akuma with concern and then at Ladybug for guidance.
"I don't even know what object of hers is akumatized but it should be something of her sisters." Ladybug said thoughtfully.
"I have to be honest My Lady; this one is making me very uneasy." Chat said giving Ladybug a grave look.
She wished she could reassure her but she was feeling uneasy about this one a well. She gave him a sympathetic look and then her thoughts drifted to the one responsible for all of this. Her eyes hardened and she balled her hands into fists. Maybe she shouldn't have been surprised by what lengths Hawkmoth would go to but she was.
"I won't forgive Hawkmoth for taking advantage of someone like this. It's so wrong. I know he's not a good guy but even he has to realize how wrong this is right?" Ladybug said.
Chat didn't seem to share her thoughts on Hawkmoths morality as he turned his sympathetic eyes back to the akuma.
"Come out come out where ever you are little kitty and bug. I can't play with you all day. I've got lots planned for the day." The girl sang.
"You said you knew her sister. Who was she?" Ladybug asked Chat earnestly.
"Her name was Lynn, this must be her older sister Marie. Their last name was… Good-something…. Goodlock I think." Chat said trying to remember the names from social media.
"Any clue where they live?" Ladybug asked.
"I could probably look it up." Chat said.
"I'll distract her for as long as I can. You go find her family and bring them here." Ladybug said hoping over the car without another word.
She knew bringing her family here might risk them getting hurt but somehow she was sure that even in this state the girl wouldn't harm her family. They might be the key to helping her in fact. At least that's what Ladybug was hoping for.
"Hey there little bug. Did you decide to help me out and hand over your Miraculous?" the girl, Marie, asked her eyes lighting up when she saw Ladybug.
Marie had a smile on her face as she took slow steps towards Ladybug but her smile was twisted, like you could see the dark intention behind it. Ladybug could tell there was a lot going on with this girl. She was sad and angry and Ladybug could at least understand why she would feel that way.
"Look, I don't blame you for what you're feeling but what you're doing is wrong. You can't destroy Paris and hurt people because your sister is gone." Ladybug said trying not to sound too accusatory.
"Where were you when my sister was being hurt?" Marie asked her eyes looking devoid of emotion now. "Where was anyone when she was the one who needed help? I was with my mom, she lived with my dad miles away. When people were hurting my sister why was no one there? Where were Paris' heroes then?"
Ladybug felt a sharp pain in her heart. She knew that everyday there were people out there that bad things happened to that she wasn't there to help but…she couldn't know what was going on everywhere in Paris all at once. She was only one person. It would take more than her and Chat to be there for every crime and every person in trouble. They just did the best they could. It still hurt that there best wasn't enough to help Marie's sister though.
"W-we can't be everywhere at once and we didn't know-" Ladybug stuttered.
"That's okay. I didn't know either. Yet, here you are now, protecting those who hurt her. Are you really a good guy?" Marie asked.
This made Ladybug freeze. Of course she was the good guy, she was saving people right this moment. Just because you save some bad people in the process doesn't make you a bad person…right? Her job was to save everyone without any bias towards their character. That's why she had been able to save Chloe so many times.
Ladybug took the moment of silence to look over the girl. Searching for anything that could be holding the akuma. The sooner they saved Marie the better. She had already been through enough, she didn't need the akuma causing more heartache inside of her. Marie didn't seem to be holding anything though. No purse, no hair ornament, nothing was in her hands or wrapped around her waist.
"What could it be?" she murmured to herself.
Marie flicked her hand and a sword that was on display in a nearby store shot into her hand. She moved the sword around in her hand watching the light dance across it.
"I've always wanted to use one of these." Marie said thoughtfully.
Ladybug hoped Chat would hurry but in case he didn't she had to do something fast. She did the only thing she could think would help in this situation.
"Lucky Charm!" she yelled unable to think of anything else she could do.
To her surprised a small piece of paper floated down to her. She caught it midair and realized it was a photo. A photo of the sisters together. They were holding up their hands showing matching tattoos on their wrists. An infinity sign that said sisters and had rainbow coloring on the inside. This was one of the more straight forward Lucky Charms she had gotten. Ladybug instantly knew, that's where the akuma was. Never before had it latched itself to someone's skin but never before had it latched itself to someone with such an intense sorrow. Ladybug didn't like what that meant.
"I have to actually injure her. I have to cut her tattoo." She whispered disgust in her voice.
She avoided hurting akumatized people as much as possible since they were still just citizens of Paris. They were victims too really. Causing them more pain just seemed wrong to her.
"MARIE!" came a scared shout.
Ladybug turned around to see a woman, behind her was Chat Noir and two men. The akumatized girl seemed shocked.
"You need to leave. I'm busy." Marie said sharply.
She took a step towards the woman but she didn't seem to be doing so in a threatening way.
"Busy doing what? Destroying our home?" the woman asked gesturing to the destroyed buildings around them.
"No mom! Getting back at the people who took Lynn from us! We are suffering and she is dead and they are… just doing what they always have. They don't care about the damage they caused. They don't care that they destroyed a family. They don't care that I can never hug my little sister again or tell her I love her or yell at her for stealing my clothes. They don't care and it's their fault. They need to care." Marie said her voice catching as tears formed in her eyes.
Ladybug could barely watch as tears formed in her mothers eyes too. The other men standing next to Chat were getting teary eyed too. This wasn't something they were supposed to see but they had a job to do still. Chat came over to Ladybug awkwardly, trying not to get noticed by Marie.
"The akuma is in her tattoo. While her family distracts her we need to cut the tattoo." Ladybug whispered.
"Really? My Lady, we have to physically hurt her like that?" Chat asked clearly uncomfortable with the plan.
Ladybug bit her lip but then looked up feeling more determined. They had to help Marie and this was the only way to do it.
"I don't like it either but we have to get the akuma out of her and purify it." Ladybug said.
While Ladybug and Chat Noir devised a plan Marie and her family continued to talk as if they forgot the heroes were there at all.
"This is not the right way to deal with our loss sweetie. We have to focus on healing ourselves not going after revenge. Revenge won't bring her back." Her mom said.
"Murderers are supposed to go to jail." Marie said anger and bitterness overflowing in her voice.
"They didn't murder her Marie. They may have helped get her there but we have to accept that it wasn't their fault either." One of the men said.
"She was your sister too David! How can none of you want revenge like I do!?" Marie said shocked.
"I want to rip out those monster's hearts so they can feel the same pain as we are." The other man said stepping forward. "I won't though because as much pain as they have caused they are still just people. It's not right and it would just cause another family to go through the pain we did."
While this conversation was going on Ladybug had crept towards some broken glass from a nearby store. Chat jumped up from the roof of one building to the next until he was on the same side of Marie as her tattoo.
"What are we supposed to do then? With all this pain and rage and sadness and the empty hole in our hearts. What are we supposed to do!?" Marie shouted clearly distraught.
Ladybug tossed the glass to Chat Noir and he leapt down from the building. He caught the shard of glass and grabbed Maries arm, slashing it before she even knew what they were doing. He made it quick slashing a part of the tattoo that hopefully wouldn't injure her too badly though Ladybug would make everything right again in the end. The girl let out a pain shriek and the akuma came out, it was the darkest black they had ever seen.
"No more evil doing for you." Ladybug said capturing the butterfly and purifying it.
She tossed her yo-yo in the air and everything righted itself. The girl fell to her knees in the middle of the street looking distraught. Tears rolling down her cheeks with no signs of slowing.
"The worst part is, I still want my revenge." She whispered.
"Wait, you remember what was happening when you were akumatized?" Chat asked in shock.
"Kinda." Marie whispered looking down at the ground in front of her.
Her family ran up to her all dropping down to hug her. And Ladybugs earrings went off.
"I'll check on you soon." Ladybug said Marie's taunting of her never staying ringing in her ears.
The next day Ladybug met Chat on the Eiffel Tower so he could take her to Maries home. The two heroes stood at her door for a moment feeling uneasy. They had never done anything like this before. It was awkward and embarrassing but at the same time seemed like the right thing to do. Finally, Ladybug knocked.
Marie opened the door seeming shocked to see the two. Now that she was back to normal she had no make-up on and wore a Harry Potter shirt, her hair dark brown like currently wide with shock eyes.
"Ladybug? Chat Noir? What are you two doing here!?" she asked.
She seemed genuinely confused by their appearance.
"Well, I told you I would come check up on you and I would never break a promise." Ladybug said.
Marie's confusion faded and she smiled and even giggled a little.
"That's not exactly a promise." She said and her smile faded. "I'm sorry about anything I may have said to offend you two during our fight. I may have had more of an edge to my words than was warranted."
Marie gave them both a sheepish smile. She did feel guilty, especially since for some reason she did remember her time as an akuma, though the memory was foggy.
"It's okay. We know you didn't mean it. People under Hawkmoths control say and do a lot of things they don't mean." Chat said giving her a charming smile.
"Yeah, well, he didn't have to do much to manipulate me though." Marie said quietly.
There was a bit of uncomfortable shifting from the whole group. Ladybug was unsure of how a checkup was supposed to go.
"So, um-" she started.
"Would you two like to come in for a moment?" Marie asked.
Ladybug and Chat looked at one another a little surprised by the offer.
"Okay." They both said a little uncertainly.
Marie led them past her kitchen and livingroom to her bedroom. It was kind of messy, with some clothes on the floor and cups on her bedside table.
"Sorry about the mess. It's been hard to find the motivation to do much these days." Marie said picking the clothes up off the floor and putting them in a hamper in the corner of her room.
Ladybug and Chat Noir stood there a bit uncomfortable. Ladybug scanned the walls; a few posters and motivational quotes and then one wall filled with pictures. Marie noticed what she was looking at and smiled a bit sadly.
"Those are all pictures of Lynn. Her with me in most of them but some of them with friends and other family members. Some of her by herself too." Marie said.
"She was very pretty." Ladybug said.
Marie laughed a little.
"You would've liked her Chat." Marie said.
Chat jumped at the mention of his name.
"Me? Why?" he asked curiously.
"She was rebellious and wild. She was the one who dyed her hair all those different colors and she pierced her own nose with an earring." Marie said laughing. "She had a heart of gold too though. Always there for anyone who needed a friend or someone to talk to. She snuck cats and rabbits into my dad's house without him noticing for weeks. I get the feeling you're a bit rebellious with a heart of gold too Chat."
Her smirked but Ladybug noticed a bit of a blush too.
"I hope that's meant as a compliment." He said.
"It most certainly is." She said happily.
Ladybug took a couple steps closer to the pictures. Lynn looked so happy in them, she noticed her smile was more genuine with Marie than her friends.
"I know what I did was wrong." Marie spoke up. "I shouldn't have gone after those kids but… I guess in situations like this people look for someone to blame and when I'm not busy blaming myself like I normally do my thoughts go to them."
"You can't blame yourself for what happened either though." Ladybug said.
She wanted to say more but she didn't know what else to say. She had never been through something like this or known someone who had so… what do you say?
"Everyone says that but it's hard not to. I've been thinking about what I can do, in a non-evil way" Marie quickly added seeing the apprehension on the heroes faces. "Maybe organize some addiction and suicide marches. Make some donations to nonprofit organizations for suicide prevention. Maybe even do some public speaking at schools or something if they'll let me."
"Those all seem like great things to do for the cause, in memory of your sister." Ladybug said.
"I just want you guys to know that who I was when we were fighting is not an accurate representation of who I am. I might have felt some of the things I was saying but… my heart and head were all jumbled up ya' know? It doesn't excuse it but I will try to make up for it." Marie said.
Ladybug and Chat stayed for a little while longer talking to Marie and to her mom and brother as well. They all seemed like good people, a little broken at the moment but good people still. They decided to go to the Eiffel Tower again to unwind.
"I feel a bit strange about having convinced her to not get revenge when I kind of want to get revenge myself." Chat said as if it were a casual statement.
"Revenge on who!?" Ladybug asked shocked.
"On Hawkmoth. All the people he's hurt just to get to us. I think he needs to be punished too." Chat said.
"I think revenge is to strong of a word. That's like saying you want to get revenge on Chloe for all the akumas she helped cause. They need to be stopped and maybe scolded but revenge is more… intense." Ladybug said thoughtfully.
"I don't know Ladybug. I think punishment is in order and after this akuma I hate to think how far he's willing to go to use people in pain." Chat said frowning as he looked out across Paris.
Ladybug couldn't say she was feeling completely optimistic either.
"We'll just have to do what we can. From now on we can check up on people after they've been akumatized and if their problem hasn't technically been fixed we can help with that too." Ladybug said.
"That seems like an awful lot of work My Lady." Chat said smirking.
"Oh don't tell me this cat I thought was a stray is a lazy house cat now Chaton." Ladybug teased.
"I have many secrets my lady." He said happily "But you know I'll follow your lead. Whatever you think we need to do will be done."
Ladybug and Chat sat there in silence for a moment longer. She knew there would be more trouble ahead of them but for now she wanted to hope that she and Chat would make the right choices when they needed too.