Solo Mission

On the night before the four Drifters went to Deus ex Machina, and Jet found out the secrets of his past, the team was resting in the saloon at Little Twister. Knowing their was a cloaking spell of some sort on the fortress, they had decided to make camp for the night. They would need all the strength they could muster, so it would be prudent to get a good night's sleep. Virginia yawned a bit from the table they sat at.

"I'm going to bed," she told the others, "There is no reason for me to stay up anymore. I don't like to sit up and drink, and what else is there to do in a place like this in the middle of the night." She got up and pushed her chair in. Then, the woman walked up the stairs, and returned to their room to sleep.

"Make that two of us. This is the stupidest thing, just sitting around and guzzling beer until you're passed out on the floor. It would be more prudent for us to make a plan, but I know that chatterbox will be fast asleep, preparing to scout out the Deus ex Machina. At least she's TRYING to help out in this, not just drinking her ass off like you, Gallows," Jet stated. Then he followed her up to the room the four had rented.

Under normal circumstances, Gallows would want to yell at Jet for the rude remark. But this time, he simply whispered, "Clive, want to spy on them, see what they're going to do? I mean, Virginia and Jet are alone in the room, maybe he's going to make a move. It'll be just like in those really cool magazines."

Clive gave his ally a very disgusted stare. "That is rude, Gallows. For one, Jet is not going to 'put the moves' over on Virginia, he knows that they need rest if they're to see the Deus ex Machina in the morn. And for two, I will be up there with them, sleeping. I would not advise you staying up much later, if you wish to be at top performance when we take on Leehalt and Siegfried in the morning." He too went upstairs.

"Oh well, their loss," Gallows said to himself, "Hey, bartender! Another glass of your best brew over here! I'm going to party until the daylight sets in and nobody is going to stop me!" When the towering mug came, Gallows held it up to the sky as if he was toasting someone. Then, he drank it all down in one gulp.

. . .

"How come there aren't many cute girlsh in this bar?" asked an incredibly drunk Baskar at about midnight. He had been drinking for the better part of two hours, and frankly I bet a normal person would be in dreamland about now. But Gallows was a very stocky young man, and definitely not a virgin. Virgin drinker, that is, for all you people who have gotten your minds stuck in the gutter. He's never found a girl willing to get with him yet, party due to bad luck and partly due to his bad taste in pickup lines scared them.

Just then, he noticed a pretty young woman sitting at the table next to him. She had on a blue skirt and white shirt, brand new. Her hair was a flaming orange color, and her eyes were as blue as the oceans that had covered the world before the Yggdrasil disaster. As he looked, it appeared as if she was beckoning him over to her. This was the first sign anyone would notice that something is wrong, who beckons a drunk.

She inquired, "Would you be willing to aid me by taking on a little job? I need someone to come with me to the cave in a nearby plateau. My brother was murdered and the money he'd saved up taken by thieves. I don't think I can take on them alone and unaided, I'm not suicidal, so I was wondering if a big guy like you would be able to help?" The woman flashed him a smile filled with the brilliant light of white teeth.

Now Gallows wasn't that coherent at the moment. But he knew that she was a young woman who needed help from him. And no one ever has known Gallows Caradine to let a member of the opposite sex go unaided. Well, unless he knew they were evil, but that's not the point of this story. "Shure mish. I will be glad to help you out. You can call me Gallowsh. What ish your name?" He staggered a little, and had to grab onto her table for support. That caused the girl to giggle, he sure was a funny man when drunk.

"My name is Leila," she replied, "Leila Lelnian. I'm an adventurer like my father and brother before me. Now then, let us go to our horses, there isn't a moment to lose. If we don't hurry, who knows what will happen. The thieves might be alerted to our presence, and kill us before we could even get close to them."

. . .

Outside, Gallows got on his horse, Yami. Leila hoped he could stay on the beast's back, he did look awfully tipsy. But this one would do nicely for what she had planned, he was too stupid to catch any hints. And infatuated with the fairer sex, she'd watched him all night trying to hit on every woman in the bar. Each of the unfortunate Baskar's attempts had failed, and Leila had witnessed him getting drunker, and drunker as time passed. She was happy to know that his friends were abed, they wouldn't notice him missing until morning. Or, to be more precise, until it was too late. For by then she would have won, and he would be dead or incapacitated. Leila had prepared well for the mission she set before her.

That was her specialty, watching and waiting, baiting her prey. The mysterious woman mounted her own horse, a black stallion with brown streaks running through its tail and mane. Dark Chocolate, she called him, he was the most reliable creature she had ever encountered. Now, he would be her aid in this little venture. Tying Yami's reins to DC's--as we will call him so I don't have to write the whole name out--the woman whistled the order to set out. They ran towards a large plateau, just as Leila said. Gallows had half fallen out of the saddle by the time they'd arrived, but he wasn't any worse for the wear.

"Now then, Gallowsh, here we are at the cave. Be warned, the thieves are very tough. Just watch where you are going, and keep your eye on the enemy. Once we find the treasure, I'll split it with you, fifty fifty," she told him, smirking a little. No way she'd share the treasure with this idiot, she'd rather die.

They walked until coming to the treasure filled center room. There, Gallows saw coins and gems shining around every corner. It was enough to make Maya Schroedinger faint, feeling as if she could have died and gone to heaven. But standing over there, was a band of unsavory characters, ready to fight him.

Gallows bellowed, "You rotten thievsh, whatever you did to thish woman, I won't forgive you. Tasht the power of my ARMsh." He fired his shot gun, which isn't a good thing when one is drunk. For one, he had not enough force of will to keep himself from reeling backwords. For two, all of his shots missed.

Then it was the gang's turn. One thief walked up to him and clubbed Gallows in the chin. Another knocked him in the back. Still a third punched him in the stomach. But one good thing came from him being drunk, Gallows had the strength and rage of twenty men. He began fighting back, knocking men away with a flick of his wrist. Why do you think the only barroom brawls that end in gunfights take place between sober men? Every good cowboy knows that guns are only better when one isn't out of it now.

Suddenly, a shot rang out, grazing Gallows's shoulder. Then, he was hit in the head by the man he was fighting. Down he went, right to the floor. Standing there with a pistol in her hand was Leila, and she was smirking. "Good act men, now to rob this poor fool blind. I can't believe he fell for it. Well, he was drunk, and he does seem to fall for girls very easily. Oh well, the better for us. Take his belongings and tie him up, we're going to have a guest for the rest of the night boys." She began to laugh out loud.

- - - -

Teefa's Last Words. . .

This is just my excuse for a humor piece. I've got big plans for this one. Ok, so I found the real names of the horses on an MB. But I like my names better, besides the info never reaches those of us here in the states, so why should I care. Unless it makes for a good plot, like Florina really being Mariel from Wild ARMs 1.