Haldir of Lothlorien stood with his guard in front of the group of travelers. Two men, oh hey! Aragorn!, four hobbits, an elf- wait is that Legolas?, and a dwarf. His men were pointing their arrows at the ragtag group, and he had just opened his mouth when...
Poof
He was standing in the same spot, except with his two brothers, wait... since when did he have brothers. The ragtag group of travelers was still there. He let them stay on their flet's for the night and when they heard the orcs, went to eradicate the danger.
Poof
He was back to standing in front of the group of travelers with a large guard behind him. What was happening, he was getting so confused... This time he led them straight to Lothlorien...
Poof
He was leading them, blindfolded towards Lothlorien. The dwarf had complained loudly... after a rather annoyingly long walk, they finally reached their destination.
Poof
It was raining. He was at... was this Helm's Deep? Why was he here? And then Aragorn was hugging him. Why... why was Aragorn hugging him?
Poof
He was back in Lothlorien, laughing with his family.
Poof
He was again in Helm's Deep, watching his men die...
Poof
In Lothlorien, with his brothers...
Poof
Watching his men die, turning around seeing an orc charging at him... he was so confused...
Poof
In Lothlorien, sitting in a flet.
Poof
Back at Helm's Deep... He'd had enough... "VALAR WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!" And then he got stabbed by the orc... pain... unbelievable pain and then..
Poof
Back in Lothlorien... he screamed, "MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!"
Somewhere in the real world...
"I created this world, these characters... he stays in Lothlorien!"
"The viewers need more action.. he goes to Helm's Deep!"
"The Two Towers has plenty of action... more than your version anyways!"
"It does not! The actor who played Haldir needs to make more of an appearance!"
"The amount of times some actor appears doesn't matter! What matters is the accurate portrayal of my story."
J.R.R. Tolkien and Peter Jackson were at it hammer and tongs... their indecision was a result of poor Haldir's confusion.
"He needs to die! It's more dramatic!"
"He most certainly does not need to die!"
"He does!"
"Does not!"
"Does!"
"NOT!"
In Middle Earth...
As a result of the argument in the real world... Haldir kept switching from unbelievable pain to happiness with his family and in his home.
Poof
He was dying, Aragorn was holding him and sobbing...
Poof
He was laughing with his friends...
Poof
Darkness and then a light...
Poof
Laughing...
Poof
"MAKE UP YOUR VALAR CURSED MINDS!" And suddenly, he was in Lothlorien. He paused, waiting for the dreaded 'poof' but it never came. This was because all of the supporters of Tolkien flocked and overwhelmed the supporters of Jackson. Haldir was able to live in peace. Not die.
The moral- Do not cross prolific writers. No matter how prolific of a movie director you are. If it's not them, it's their fans that will eventually win in the end.
A/N: Yes. That was stupid. I know Jackson and Tolkien did not live at the same time... It's not that I have anything against the movie... It's the one of the best I've ever seen... Besides Monty Pythons Holy Grail (The only thing that can beat that is Mystery Science Theater 3000) I couldn't help myself though... poor Haldir. Review!