A/N: This story has been on my mind for a few weeks now, not exactly sure how it will go, but let's see...
This initial chapter takes place in the present a year after Leonard has gone missing, but will go back to tell the story of his disappearance. Just to warn you that there might be time gaps in between updates as it takes me a little longer to complete chapters than the more accomplished writers on this website.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Big Bang Theory.
Penny gazed sadly through the window of Rossini's Italian restaurant seeing a dozen round tables covered with pristine white linen table cloths, upon each table a lit candle in a frosted glass and a silver vase containing a single red rose. It was early Saturday evening and only a few tables were occupied, all by couples. Without affording herself any time for contemplation she pushed open the door to the restaurant stepping inside to come to wait by a maître d station.
"Buonasera Signora." Signor Rossini, the grey haired restaurant manager said as he walked toward her, greeting her with a warm welcoming smile. "So wonderful to see you again, it has been some time... Do you have a reservation?" he asked, as he turned to study the open diary on the desk.
"Erm I.." Penny mumbled, having spent the last hour trying to convince herself that she could handle coming to the restaurant that had been hers and Leonard's favourite place to dine, she was starting to wonder whether it had in fact been a mistake.
"Don't worry it's not a problem at all. I assume Dr Hofstadter will be joining you shortly?" he said, recalling the spectacle wearing physicist that had accompanied the attractive blond on numerous visits to his restaurant. He had a good memory for his customers, particularly as they had seemed so happy and relaxed together. With a lump in her throat Penny replied.
"Leonard and I broke up." She told him, her gaze dropping to the floor, unable to bring herself to tell him that in the weeks following their break up he had gone missing and had not been seen or heard from in almost a year.
"Oh Signora please forgive me." he said his hand coming to rest on his chest, embarrassed by his somewhat indiscrete presumption. It was clear from Penny's pained expression and sad eyes that it was still causing her considerable upset.
"Please allow me to show you to your table."
Picking up a leather bound menu from the shelf below the station Signor Rossini ushered Penny to a table over by the window, pulling out a chair for her to sit before placing the menu on the table in front of her.
"Could I order a glass of the house red please?" she asked.
"Very good. Please take your time." he said in response, bowing his head as he moved away.
Opening the menu to inspect the selection of antipasti, Penny heard a female diner on a nearby table giggling. Peering over the top of her menu she saw a young couple of similar age to her, holding hands across the table. The woman was happily admiring a diamond ring on her left hand as her partner sipped his coffee.
"I think we should get married next spring." she was saying followed by a deep contented sigh. "I've always dreamt about having a spring wedding..."
Just then a waiter arrived with a glass of red wine and a bowl of green olives on a tray. After taking a long sip of her wine Penny picked up a cocktail stick, using it to select one of the olives. Smiling sadly to herself she removed the olive from the stick setting it on the table before placing an empty water glass over it and spinning the glass, catching the olive inside. Instantly she was transported back to her first unofficial date with Leonard shortly after she's moved into her apartment...
"Wow, centrifugal force!"
"Actually, it's centripetal force, which is an inward force generated by the glass acting on the olive.."
Tears sprung to Penny's eyes as the olive fell from the glass, rolling onto the floor beneath the table. Quickly she dropped down onto her hands and knees and crawled under the table, not to retrieve the fallen olive, but to hide.
"Signora are you alright?"
Signor Rossini lifted the table cloth to be greeted by the sight of Penny sat on the floor, her head buried in her knees, crying inconsolably.
"I..I'm sorry..." she sobbed, realising how utterly ridiculous it was for a grown woman to be discovered hiding under a table in a restaurant, crying like a child. "I shouldn't have come here... I need to go home."
Removing a napkin from the table the Signor Rossini passed it to Penny who used it to dab her eyes that were now red and puffy from crying.
"I'm so sorry... it's just that after Leonard and I broke up...he...he went missing...it's been almost a year now.." she revealed, between heaving sobs. "The police found his car abandoned by a river..."
"Oh Signora. I am so sorry to hear that..." Signor Rossini responded, his face full of sympathy for the young woman that was now sitting under his best table pouring her heart out to him.
"They never...they never found a body..." Penny told him, biting down on her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. "But he hasn't been seen or heard from since. We have no idea what happened to him..or why he went away..."
For a moment Signor Rossini allowed Penny to cry before offering his hand to help her to climb out from under the table. Thankfully the newly engaged couple that had been dining on the nearby table had since finished paying their check and had gone.
"I'm sorry...here let me pay for the wine and the olives.." Penny began, fumbling in her purse which hung on the back of her chair and producing a credit card.
"No please Signora that's quiet alright." Signor Rossini dismissed with a wave of his hand. "It's on the house."
"Thank you." Penny said gratefully, slipping the credit card back into her purse. "I really am sorry. I don't make a habit of crawling under tables in restaurants to ball my eyes out.." She added forcing a weak smile before taking out her cell phone to call a taxi to take her home. Unfortunately she had ignored the 'check engine' light in her car for too long and it was now in the shop undergoing extensive repairs for which she had no idea how she was going to pay.
"Please allow me to give you a ride home." Signor Rossini offered. The restaurant was quiet that evening and he was insistent that his son and his wife would have no trouble managing without him for a time."I would feel so much better knowing that you got home safely." he added, with genuine concern for the distressed young woman.
Penny hesitated for a few moments before eventually accepting his offer.
"Well if you're sure. That's very kind of you Signor Rossini." she responded, glancing in the direction of the window and noticing that it had begun to rain heavily outside.
"Please you must call me Gino."
Penny smiled.
"Ok but only if you'll call me Penny."
After giving Gino her address and directions to Los Robles Avenue Penny sat in silence for the first few miles of the journey, preferring to listen to selection of operatic music playing on the radio and the intermittent swish of the windshield wipers.
"I suppose you must think I'm crazy.." she said, finally deciding to break the silence.
"No not at all. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to have someone you love go missing and not know what happened to them..." Gino replied, taking his eyes off the road briefly to look at Penny who had begun to fidget uncomfortably in her seat.
"Actually the whole reason Leonard and I broke up was because he told me that he loved me and I wasn't ready to say it back..." she said, her voice trailing off as she turned her head to stare out the window at the passing rain soaked scenery. "You know the week after he went missing I called his cell phone to leave a message. I told him that I loved him. The stupid thing is I knew he didn't have his phone, the police found it in his car along with his wallet... I just hoped that somehow he'd sense that I did love him and come back home.."
A single tear rolled down Penny's cheek as she remembered those agonising first weeks. Even now every time the phone rang or when she checked her mail, she would hold her breath, praying for a message just to let her know that he was alive and safe.
"So what are the police doing right now?" Gino asked, as he brought the car to a stop at an intersection, applying the handbrake.
Penny shrugged, her initial reaction was to come back with 'not enough in my opinion', but then she changed her mind.
"It's still an open missing person's case, but I reckon they've come to the conclusion that Leonard doesn't want to be found or that..." she couldn't even bring herself to say the word out loud. She for one refused to entertain the notion that Leonard was dead. "Thousands of people get reported as missing every day. I guess they're trying their best, but to them Leonard is just another statistic..."
For a moment Gino took his hand off the steering wheel to squeeze Penny's knee.
"Listen Penny if they're anything I can do...maybe I could put some posters up in my restaurant. You never know perhaps somebody knows something that could help..."
Penny smiled gratefully. Gino was such a warm and kind man who in many ways reminded her of her own father. Ten minutes later the car pulled up outside the lamp store adjacent to entrance of her apartment building.
"You will call me if you need to talk or if there's anything I can do?" Gino asked as Penny got out of the car thanking him once again for his kindness and for the ride home.
"Sure. I will thank you Gino."
By now the rain had subsided and Penny waited on the sidewalk waving as her new friend drove off into the evening Pasadena traffic. With a heavy heart she turned on her heels making her way towards the entrance of 2311 N. Once inside she ascended the stairs to the fourth floor, as she climbed recalling the fight that had erupted on pizza night in apartment 4A. Without thinking Howard had helped himself to the last slice of cheese free pizza which Sheldon insisted on ordering, despite the fact that none of his friends other than Leonard was lactose intolerant. Stood watching from over by the refrigerator Penny had seen the look of horror upon Sheldon's face as Howard began to munch on the pizza.
"Howard what do you think you're doing?" he demanded, "You know that we always save the last slice of pizza for Leonard."
Howard responded with an irritated sigh, lately he had even less patience for Sheldon and his ritualistic behaviour.
"Sheldon we all wish that Leonard was here, but I think we have to accept he's not gonna just walk back through the door to join us for pizza.." he snapped, the words escaping his mouth sounding harsher than what was intended.
"Howie please..." Bernadette cautioned, sensing that her boyfriend was edging dangerously close to starting a fight.
"Well it's just seems stupid." Howard responded, deciding he no longer wanted to eat the remaining slice of pizza he tossed it back into its box. "Sooner or later we're just gonna have to face it that Leonard isn't coming back.."
"We don't know that dude." Raj interjected, clutching a bottle of beer that enabled him to talk in front of Penny and Bernadette.
"Don't we? My dad walked out on me and my Mom when I was eleven. I haven't seen him in nearly twenty years.." Howard said with distinct bitterness in his voice. "I'm pretty sure I'll never see him again.."
"Howie your Dad leaving you and your Mom is entirely different from Leonard. " Bernadette pointed out, resting her hand on his hand in an effort to calm him.
"I used to blame myself for my Dad going and it took me years to realise that it wasn't my fault, but with Leonard I know that as friends we let him down..." Howard continued, getting to his feet and averting his gaze to the floor in an effort to avoid Sheldon's fierce stare.
"Howard we don't know the reason why Leonard went away. " Raj said pointedly.
"Oh please of course we know. Leonard was totally cut up about his break up with Penny. Only his roommate was to busy obsessing about losing a bowling match to his supposed 'mortal enemy' and treating him like a doormat to notice...you and me Raj all we did was make fun of him."
Bernadette rose from the couch grabbing Howard by the arm.
"Howie I think you've said enough now..." she said with pleading eyes, hoping to stop him before the situation escalated further, but it was already too late.
"No Bernie. I'm only telling the truth. Leonard must have been in a really bad place, if we'd been decent friends we would have seen it..."
Reaching into the pizza box on the coffee table Howard picked up the discarded last slice.
"So I think it' gonna take a little more than a cheese free pizza to assuage our guilt.."
Upon concluding Howard threw the pizza at the wall where it stuck for a few seconds before sliding down onto the floor, leaving a trail of tomato sauce, after which the room fell silent.
"I think Pizza night is over now. I want everyone except Penny to leave." Sheldon instructed quietly.
Without protesting the three friends began to slowly file out of the apartment, stood in the doorway Howard paused looking back at Sheldon seated on his spot on the couch and Penny still stood over by the refrigerator, her head turned away to hide her tears.
"I'm sorry Sheldon." he apologised. "I didn't mean to upset you. I know Leonard was...is your best friend and I know how much you miss him ...and not just because of all the stuff he used to do for you. I miss him too.."
Focused on the coffee table Sheldon didn't see the tears glistening in Howard's eyes as he spoke. Together they were five broken hearted friends bound together by their mutual love of Leonard.
"I'll pay for all the pizzas for everyone next Thursday." he added, before closing the door.
Arriving on the fourth floor landing, and after not seeing him since the events of Thursday night, Penny decided to check in on Sheldon. It was only when she knocked on his apartment door, and noticed that it was gone 8pm, that she realised he would be down in the basement doing his laundry.
"Hey Sheldon." Penny said as she entered into the laundry room to find him folding his t-shirts with precision using a folding board. "I just thought I'd see how you're doing, you know after what happened Thursday." She added.
Sheldon shrugged.
"I'm ok." he replied flatly without looking up, continuing with the task at hand.
"Anyways, I've been doing some thinking and I reckon that they must be more we could do to try find Leonard." Penny began, doing her upmost to come across as upbeat and positive, even though inside she felt like she was dying.
"Oh Penny if I haven't been able to come up with any new ideas I'm certain that you haven't. That's axiomatic."
Penny didn't know the meaning of the word 'axiomatic', but she could tell from the tone of his voice that it was one of his 'unintentional' insults. Taking a deep breath she made the decision to allow the insult to go unchecked, although in truth he was right, she hadn't come up with anything that they hadn't already tried.
"I don't know. Maybe once my car's been fixed we can drive out to that gas station and the diner near where Leonard's car was found...we could have some new posters printed... maybe somebody might remember something that could help us..."
"We did all that a year ago Penny." Sheldon pointed out, sounding tired and defeated.
Penny fell silent as she watched Sheldon load one of the machines with the sheets from his bed before adding the precise amount of detergent required. Suddenly she was overcome with anger and frustration.
"Ahhhhh!" she cried, startling Sheldon, causing him to drop the bottle of detergent.
"You know what Sheldon I'm just so damned angry with him! I mean how dare he do this to us?" Penny yelled, throwing her arms in the air. "For all we know he's sitting on a beach in Mexico while we're all here going out of minds with worry..."
"That's seems unlikely. Not with Leonard's fair complexion..." Sheldon responded, matter-of-factly provoking bitter laughter from Penny.
"Not even one call." she said, after her laughter had faded away and her facial expression had returned to one of pain and anguish. "Just to let us know that he's ok..why Sheldon? Why hasn't he called?"
For once Sheldon realised that Penny's question was rhetorical. He no more had the answers than she did.
"Well you know what screw him...screw you Leonard Hofstadter..Screw you!"
With that Penny began to kick out in rage at the row of washing machines, only stopping when the throbbing pain in her toes became unbearable. Out of breath and consumed with her own anger, at first she didn't notice that Sheldon had retreated to the corner the room, hung his head and had begun to cry. It was something that even since the pain of Leonard's disappearance he had yet to do in front of her.
"Oh sweetie I didn't mean to yell like that.." Penny soothed, remembering how much he disliked fighting and the sound of raised voices. "I'm angry with Leonard, but I still want him back home more than anything..."
"What if Howard's right?" Sheldon whimpered, he'd been unable to think of anything else except Howard's grim prophecy on Thursday evening. "What if Leonard is never coming back like his Dad?"
"No we can't think like that." Penny responded, shaking her head in defiance. "We have to believe that he will come back. I know Leonard is out there someplace.." she continued pointing at the doorway which led into the hall and after a few meters to street and the outside world. "He just needs us to keep trying and not to give up hope and eventually we will find him and convince him that he belongs here with his friends that love him.."
There was a pause while Sheldon produced a handkerchief and blew his nose.
"We are going to do this Sheldon. You and I we will find Leonard. Ok?" Penny said firmly.
Sheldon nodded his acceptance and then for only the third time in four years he submitted to a hug.
The Fuzzy Boots Corollary (Episode 3. Season 3.)