Title: Get Me To The Church On Time
Author: hbomba
Rating: M
Summary: Bo and Lauren are getting married. There's just one more thing Bo has to do before that happens. And maybe another after that. And another after that.
A/N: Written for TtlyPalmerised.
"When they say you are ahead of your time, it's just a polite way of saying you have a real bad sense of timing." -George McGovern
"Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do." -Jean-Paul Sartre
"Drive, drive, drive!" Kenzi pounded on the dashboard of the Camaro as Bo accelerated.
Bo checked the rearview mirror. "Jesus, Kenz. What just happened?"
"Well, we just rescued your wedding dress from a swamp fairy with an axe to grind."
"Shit. What time is it?"
Kenzi checked her cell phone. "Uhhh…"
"Don't bullshit me, Kenz. What time is it?" Bo gripped the leather-wrapped steering wheel tightly.
"Three fifteen."
"Noooo, this is not happening." Bo shook her head. She was late to her own wedding and she was marrying a woman who was always on-time. "Shit!"
Lauren paced quietly in the corner of the chapel that sat fifty on a good day, or ten or so on a day like today. It was a cute little building with ornate stained glass decorating every wall, solid oak pews, natural light and a view of the river. She huffed. "Where the hell could she be?" It was half past three and there was still no sign of Bo. Lauren picked at the ribbon on her dress and sat on the bench by the organ.
"Hey," Dyson said, approaching. "She'll be here."
"I know," Lauren said putting on her bravest face for the man that had once caused so many insecurities. "I just wish she'd get here soon."
"We're being followed." Kenzi looked through the back window.
Bo checked the mirrors. "What the hell? It's just a wedding dress."
"I don't think this is the swamp fairy…"
"Then, what?" The engine revved.
"Bigger. Much bigger." Kenzi illustrated her point with her hands.
"Ogres?" Bo cringed.
"Maybe Evony is a still crazy mad that you didn't invite her to the wedding?"
"Crazy? Absolutely! Mad? Who cares?" Just then the van behind them surged forward and crashed into the back of the Camaro. "You have got to be kidding me!" Bo swerved.
Tamsin cased the chapel as Lauren stared up at the rows and rows of candles. She struck a match and lit one. A puff of air and she blew out the match, discarding it in a tin. She checked the clock. A quarter to four. She wished she could say she didn't expect something like this to happen, but she did. She had always wondered if Bo was the marrying kind despite the obvious clues against that notion. But she had been the one to ask. The one to initiate the conversation about marriage and forever after. Lauren would be lying if she said her surprise hadn't instantly morphed into acceptance.
She looked at the candle, soot slithering to the ceiling from its flame. "Bo, just get here safe."
Six ogres and one succubus, hardly a fair match for Bo. She moved like a shark through water, agile and deadly. Whether she was cutting them down with her sword, or slicing them open with her dagger, the damage Bo dealt was critical. With the last challenger she went for the tried and true chi suck to heal. She couldn't show up to her own wedding covered in blood, though she was certain Lauren would be more forgiving if she did.
When the last ogre dropped, she heard the rev of the engine behind her. "C'mon!" Kenzi called as the wounded ogres began to compose themselves. Bo slid her sword into its sheathe and ran for the Camaro. She was barely inside the car when Kenzi peeled out and headed for the river, where the chapel was located.
Bo checked her phone for the time-four o'clock-and then it began to ring in her hand. It was Lauren. "Shit." She looked at the phone as it continued to ring.
"Well, answer it! You don't want to make this worse than it already is," Kenzi offered some sound advice.
"Lauren, hey," Bo was using her breezy voice.
"Where the fuck are you, Bo?" Lauren whispered into the receiver.
"I'm on my way. I'll be there soon," she said sweetly.
Bombing down the road, Kenzi turned to say something to something when the Camaro jumped, a huge thump sounding throughout the car. "Shit!" Kenzi exclaimed.
"Bo? Is everything all right?" She asked through the receiver.
"Uh, I have to go. I'll see you soon." Bo ended the call and turned to Kenzi. "What did you just do?"
"I think we have a flat." She pulled over.
"This is not happening," Bo groaned and kicked open her door. She paced next to the car. The tire was wrapped around the wheel-it was definitely flat.
The line went dead and Lauren held the phone away from her in shock. Tamsin walked toward her quickly. "Let's take a walk."
Lauren had never been on good terms with Tamsin so part of her wondered if she was going to end up at the bottom of the river as they walked toward it. But today was just weird enough that she thought maybe, just maybe, Tamsin might have something valuable to say.
"How're you feeling?"
Lauren cocked her head and looked at Tamsin sideways. "Are you a pod person because the Tamsin I know would rather die than talk feelings."
Tamsin pulled a stack of index cards from her pocket. "Sensitivity training from Kenzi and Bo." She handed the cards to Lauren. She flipped through them smiling and shaking her head simultaneously.
"Wanna talk about it?" Tamsin asked.
"I didn't see that one on these cards," Lauren sniped.
"Nope. Just me asking…"
"I'm afraid if I verbalize these thoughts in my head that they'll come true and as much as I'd love to tell you how scared I am that Bo isn't coming, I'd rather wait and see."
"She'll be here." Tamsin stood staring out over the water.
It was a long time before Lauren spoke again, her eyes following the current. "I think so, too."
Fifteen minutes later Bo was fitting the spare tire onto the Camaro. They heard the racket before they saw the source. A stretch limousine with JUST MARRIED emblazoned on it and cans strung off the bumper, clattering down the road as they drove. Bo frowned. "What the hell? If this is some kind of joke, Universe, I get it." The limo screeched to a stop a hundred feet away and then reversed to flank the Camaro.
The passenger window rolled down and Evony looked out at their predicament. "Well, golly, I heard there was a wedding today but I'm running late. What a coincidence!" Bo flexed her hands and lurched forward but Kenzi held her still. "Say, do you want a ride?" She smiled brightly.
"We've got it under control." Bo refused.
"Suit yourself. Show up looking like a grease monkey to your own wedding. If Lauren waits for you much longer." She started to roll up the window.
"Wait!" Kenzi exclaimed. "I think what Bo meant to say," she looked at Bo and made a face. "Is that we would love a ride. I'll get the dress." Kenzi ducked into the car for the dress and Evony winked at Bo.
Bo kicked the gravel and opened the limo's rear door. "I know you're behind this."
Evony shrugged. "Should have invited me."
Kenzi stuffed the dress in the limo and yanked on Bo's hand. "Let's get you married."
Bo had ten minutes to get changed and fix her makeup. She washed the sweat and car grime from her hands with moist towelettes they found in the limo. Bo was undressing when the divider came down and Evony peered into the back. "Very nice," she hummed. Bo didn't cover herself or even look remotely embarrassed as she was sure that's what her aim was.
"All right, looky loo, let Bo-Bo get dressed in peace. Come on, put the divider back up."
Evony locked eyes with Bo and there was an intensity that even Kenzi could feel. And then Evony said: "Driver, don't be a pervert, give her some privacy!"
Bo shook her head. "Christ," she said. "Could today get any worse?"
"Best not be asking that question when you're two hours late for your own wedding and you hung up on your bride to be."
"She's gonna be pissed." Bo said, disappearing into the fabric of her gown.
Kenzi raised her eyebrows. "You think?" She waited for Bo to emerge from the top of the gown before she spoke again. "Listen, I just want you to know that I think you're doing the right thing. She loves you, Bo. Don't fuck it up."
"Was that your maid of honor speech?"
"As close to one as you're gonna get." Kenzi leaned back and crossed her legs.
"Do me up?" Bo turned around and Kenzi zipped and buttoned the ornate dress up. She patted her on the back when she had finished and Bo fell back into the seat beside her. Kenzi passed her a compact and Bo began fixing her make-up.
Kenzi looked at their feet. "Things are gonna change, aren't they?"
Bo lowered the compact and looked at her friend. "Yeah, I think maybe. But you're always going to be a part of me, Kenz." Kenzi nodded. "Hey, you will always have a place in our lives."
"I know." She smiled. "Who else could third wheel all over you guys like this hot mess?"
"Exactly." Bo smiled.
Kenzi tsk'd. "You look beautiful."
The limo lurched and came to a stop. Bo looked out the window to see the little chapel by the river that Lauren had picked out a few months ago. She took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing." Kenzi opened the door and, gathering her dress, Bo climbed from the limo and took off running for the chapel. She burst through the chapel doors shouting "Lauren!" before she spotted the scene.
Her friends and family milling about in the chapel and Lauren standing at the front of the church dutifully waiting for her. A hush fell over the guests and Lauren's expression turned from worry to relief instantly. Bo began to walk down the aisle and with each step, she felt her heart swell exponentially. Her chest heaved from the running and her eyes teared at her beauty. Her dress, her hair. She was perfect. The last few steps were like walking on air and then her hands were at Lauren's waist, anchoring her. "Wow," she said. "You look amazing."
Lauren smiled at last, her eyes blinking away the tears that were threatening to spill over. "What took you so long?" She said, playfully pushing Bo.
"There was a problem with my dress. I got it figured out, though." She smiled.
"You ready?" Lauren asked.
"Been waiting for this all day." Bo nodded at Bruce whose booming voice directed the guests in their finery to their seats. Bo was looking out at the small crowd when the chapel doors opened and Kenzi and Evony entered.
"What the hell?" Lauren said.
Bo cringed. "It's a really long story."
Kenzi scuttled to Bo's side. "I tried to keep her out." Evony sat in the back wearing a wide brimmed hat and sunglasses, dressed all in black.
"It's okay," Lauren sighed. "She's harmless."
"If you say so."
Bruce officiated a beautiful ceremony and everything was going so well when he asked the question that was heard around the world. "If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace." There was a predictable silence until a voice came from the back of the church.
"I do!" Evony sneered at the happy couple.
Inhaling sharply, Bo sat up in bed. "Shit!" she whispered. There are a few things as shocking as divining your own future in a dream. Bo found herself in this predicament that night.
Lauren rolled over. "You okay?" she said sleepily.
She stared at the ceiling. "I don't think I'm ready to get married yet," Bo confessed.
"What?" Lauren sat up. "I didn't know that was even on the table."
"Neither did I, believe me."
"You want to marry me?" Lauren couldn't hide the hopeful twinge in her voice.
"Yeah. I mean, not immediately-I think that's what the dream was saying. Is that okay?"
"Bo, up until five minutes ago, I didn't even know it was an option," she said, looking at the ceiling.
"But you're not just saying you're okay when you're really pissed and hurt because you think I can't commit to you?" Bo rambled.
"It's fine, really. There's no rush." She patted Bo's leg. "We have lots of time. Tell me about your dream."
"Well," she said, pulling Lauren into her side. Lauren wrapped her arm around Bo's waist and put her head on her chest. "It started with a swamp fairy and a wedding dress…"
Fin.