Title: Sorry
Rating: T
Pairing: Declan/Fiona with mentions of Holly J/Declan
Summary: He said he was sorry but what good did that do? Every promise had been broken. Sorry didn't mean anything when it came to a broken heart.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone from Degrassi!
"All our lives we've only had eachother but that has to change."
I remember when were five and our parents were out again at another party. I was sitting on the couch with my legs tucked underneath my as I read a book about fairytales. Declan was sitting beside me our shoulders touching.
"I'll always take care of you Fi. It's you and I against the world." Declan took my hand in his with a smile.
For a five year old he was quite smart. My twin was also very protective. I suppose that is what you get when you practically raise yourself. When you only have eachother to rely on where else can you turn but to the other? Us Coyne kids had to stick together.
Our bond was tighter than anyone thing else in the world and I beleived him when he told me he would always take care of me. After all since when had Declan ever led me astray?
"Is that why you've been excluding me ever since we got here? Your all I have Declan!"
When we moved to Degrassi I figured everything would stay the same. I did not worry about change because no matter if the world ended around us, Declan and I would remain the same. Nothing could ever tear us apart. We were closer than peas and carrots, peanut butter and jelly, or anything else you could come up with which went together.
Then she had come along. Holly J Sinclare with her sassy attitude and blonde hair. Holly J with her perfect laugh, perfect smile, perfect everything according to Declan. My brother thought she was the sun and the moon. The stars paled in comparisson to her.
Soon it wasn't I spending time with Declan anymore it was her. Holly J was taking my place in my brothers life and it hurt. She drank my coffee, ate at restraunts that had formly belonged to he and I. Holly J was the one to see Declan's secret smile and hear his most sincere laughter.
As for me? I had to watch from the side lines. I was alone and no one seemed to care. Declan would talk to me once in a while if she wasn't around. Apparently I was a replacement but not enough to hold his attention full time anymore. I'd come to out live my purpose it would seem.
"I can't be Fiona! I'm scared that your messed up and I can't help you!"
How dare he call me messed up? He's the one who made me the way I am. He created this whole thing between us and yet he called me messed up? Maybe it is because I can't let go? He has branded himself on my heart, body, and soul yet he wants me to just be able to forget it all within a matter of minutes.
Declan was the one who came into my room on almost a nightly basis. He's the one who kissed my lips, neck, and shoulders while telling me I was his world. My brother is the one who made promises I should have known he would never keep. He's the one who dangled happiness in front of my very eyes only to rip away and give everything which had once been mine to Holly J.
"I was just trying to send Holly J a message."
I had wanted to scare her into running off. If she did so then Declan could go back to the way we were. We could be happy with just the two of us again. It would be us against the world once more. Fiona and Declan Coyne. We did not need anyone or anything else to make us happy.
Holly J needed to realize she couldn't just come in and steal away my everything. She could not have my brother. I had seen what happened to him the last time he thought himself in love. She broke his heart and I was left to pick up the peices. I did not fancy the idea of doing so once more.
I would not allow Declan to be hurt or broken for a second time. I was doing this for him but he didn't see it that way. He thought I was trying to take away his chance of a normal life. Declan beleived I wanted to hurt him for what he had done to me. As if I could ever be so vindictive.
"Listen Fiona, I want you to be happy but it's time to grow up and get your own life."
What kind of life did he expect me to have without him? I would be alone forever because deep in my soul I knew no one would ever take his spot. Declan was more than just my brother and twin. Declan was a part of me, Fiona Coyne. We were one in the same and would never be completely whole without the other.
When would my brother get it? When would he see I did not want my own life? I wanted a life with him like he had promised me so many times in the dark of the night. To run away together and no longer be Declan and Fiona Coyne the twins. Instead we'd be Declan and Fiona the lovers. Declan and Fiona the cute engaged couple. Declan and Fiona the happily married family down the street.
"Your so inconsiderate. I hate you."
If I knew my brother and I did, he probably thought he was doing this for my own good. He beleived it would be best for me. Maybe if I went away I could move on. Maybe if I disapeared he would be able to foget the things we had done together. The things I knew he still craved to do.
That's why he wanted to send me away. It had nothing to with with him wanting what is best for me. He wanted to be able to clear his consious. To know that in the end he had the right thing. Though I silently wondered who he was doing the right thing for. Certianly not for me.
"I'm sorry Fiona."
Sorry? He was sorry? What good did that word do now? Sorry wouldn't take back anything. Sorry couldn't heal the pain of my shattered heart. Sorry couldn't rewind time to the night I had given him my virginity. Sorry couldn't make Holly J disapear. No sorry could not fix anything at all. The only thing it did was make things ten times more painful.
As he walked off the words he whispered when we were five years old echoed in my head. "I'll always take care of you Fi. It's you and I against the world." Where were those words now when I needed them the most?
The only thing I got was a useless "I'm sorry Fiona." What good was sorry?
THE END!
AN: This is my first ever Degrassi story so I hope it was alright. I love the pairing of Declan and Fiona and I plan to write more in the future. One day I will do a much more indepth story about this pairing but for now I just wanted to try them out. Tell me what you thought.
Please R&R like always!