A Mario one-shot
Mario and Peach sat stony faced at the table. The only sounds were the Tick Tock Clock and an excited Chain Chomp running around in the snow.
Mario absent-mindedly pushed at remnants of Peach's cake with his fork. It was traditional for her to bake him a cake each time he rescued her from Bowser, and was the fifth sugary treat that week. Mario didn't know how many more marzipan stars he could stomach.
"Why cant-a you accept me for-a who I am?" Mario cried suddenly, shattering the silence. "Would you rather I went back-a to sticking my head down toilet bowls and carrying around buckets of sewage? I've made things better and all you do is complain-a!"
"What?" countered Peach, feeling the tears well up in her eyes. "You never change! Look at your hair! And that horrible moustache… why do you think I always kiss you on the nose?"
Mario's fist swelled to 6 times its size as he brought it smashing down on the table. "You'd rather get your lips burned off by Bowser, eh?"
"At least he doesn't shout "Hup Hup Hup" every time he climbs the stairs, at least he can stay awake for 60 seconds! At least-"
The door flew open, sending snowflakes into the room. Luigi stood in the doorway looking furious. "Peach" he said in a low voice "I'm taking you away from all this."
She didn't need further invitation. "Mama Mia!" cried Mario "We're brothers!"
Luigi slapped Mario "Brother? I have no brother!"
The End