-
THE HEART.
ハート
❤
-
I envy because of the heart
I glutton because of the heart
I covet because of the heart
I am prideful because of the heart
I sloth because of the heart
I rage because of the heart
Because of the heart
I lust for everything about you.
"By sharing your feelings with your friends before your deaths, you humans are able to put yourselves at ease. It's a form of instinct that prevents you from falling into the pit of fear and despair. In reality, it is impossible for people to truly share their feelings. It's simply a human delusion."
"Maybe it's impossible to feel exactly the same way as another person, but it's possible for people to care about one another and to place their hearts as close together as they can manage. I'm sure that's what it means to make your hearts as one."
"Hearts, you say? You Humans are always so quick to speak of such things, as though you carry your hearts in the very palms of your hands. But this eye of mine perceives all. There is nothing that it overlooks. If this eye cannot see a thing, then it does not exist. That is the assumption under which I have always fought. What is this "heart"? If I tear open that chest of yours, will I see it there? If I smash open that skull of yours, will I see it there?"
...
Hatred.
One feeling that was not part of Orihime Inoue's belief system.
Any person, soul, shinigami, hollow, human, or arrancar who know Inoue Orihime knew this.
It was not a part of her nature.
Regardless of how barbarously they handled her, how much they mistreated her, not once did she bring out Tsubaki- her only way of offense.
Not once did she fight back.
It was in her thoughts.
How could she react so severely to someone- human or not- who had never felt love or friendship, and probably never would?
She understood her position, and decided that, even in her position, she was blessed.
Blessed to have nakama who were risking their own lives to rescue her from this loathsome place.
Arrancar were desolate.
Hollow shells shaped into bodies and given voices and minds, simply to carry out Aizen Sosuke's orders.
She knew that.
She knew.
But she did not understand.
Couldn't they see there was more for them out there then just violence and hatred? That they could find their own purpose instead of just tools for Aizen? Or at the least, couldn't they sort out the difference between right and wrong, like Neliel had?
And in knowing that arrancar could not comprehend things like companionship and affection, Orihime pitied them.
"What the hell are you trying to do?"
"What is she...
What the hell is she...?
It's as if... it's as if...!
She's a monster...!"
Orihime Inoue? A monster?
Yes.
Because to Orihime, people who knew nothing but slavery and death, beings like the Espada, who were just cold blooded, killing machines- were monsters.
But to those very beings, people who cared for one another- people like Orihime herself- were the monsters.
So instead of fighting, which was something she disliked anyways, she simply did what she did best.
She reached out to them.
...
Everything about him paralyzed her.
He intimidated her. Terrified her.
His reiatsu.
His eyes.
His unshaking stare.
But what scared her the most was his voice.
It distressed her whenever he spoke in that icy cold, monotone voice.
Like a blunt sword on her skin.
"Kurosaki Ichigo. Those are the words of a man ignorant of true despair."
Involuntarily, she shivered.
Ulquiorra decided Kurosaki Ichigo did not know true despair.
However, whenever he hindered a glance at his captive, he saw despair's very form, taking the shape and sound of the woman known as Inoue Orihime.
...
"Eat."
"I don't want it."
"Until Aizen-sama says so, staying alive is also one of your duties. Eat."
"..."
"Shall I force it down your throat?...Or would you rather be strapped down and given I.V.'s?"
"Sado-kun isn't dead."
"You're annoying me. It doesn't matter one way or another. What do you want me to say? 'Don't worry, I'm sure he's still alive.' Pathetic. I'm not here to pamper you. I don't understand you. Why do you care so much about whether or not he's alive? Before long, all your friends will be dead, anyway. What does it matter if one was killed a bit sooner then planned? They should have realized this would happen from the start."
"Stop it."
"And if they didn't, they were fools. You should be able to laugh all this off if you think of them as such. Why can't you do that? I would be angry at their stupidity of entering Hueco Mundo without first considering the limits of their strength."
Slap.
Orihime Inoue does not agree to violence. She is a pacifist. When she recalls her palm connecting with his pale, porcelain-like skin, she shudders.
'Why,' she wonders, 'Did I react so violently towards him?'
Because at the time, Ulquiorra had not been the only one representing despair in it's rawest form.
-
"Goodbye, halcyon days." she had once written on the edge of her notebook.
"Welcome back, halcyon days." he wrote on her heart with his love.
-
At least the other Espada showed some sort of emotion.
Cuatro Espada Ulquiorra Cifer seemed to lack any of the sort.
Everything down to the look in his eyes were empty, even when being beaten to death by Kurosaki-kun's full hollow form.
"You have been discarded by Aizen-sama. There is nothing left to protect you for, now. You will die right here, without a single person laying a hand upon you...you will simply meet your death, alone. This should be frightening...or so I am told."
"I'm not afraid. Everyone came here to save me...and so now...my heart...is out there with all of them..."
"You're unafraid because your friends came for you? Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"When I first heard they were coming to rescue me, I was a bit happy and very sad. I came here to protect everyone, so why did they have to follow me? I wondered why they hadn't realized. But when I felt Kuchiki-san fall, and when I saw Kurosaki-kun fighting, none of it mattered anymore. I just didn't want Kurosaki-kun to get hurt. I just wanted everyone to be safe. That's when I realized, "Oh. They probably feel the same." If one of them had disappeared the way I did, I know I'd do the same thing."
...
Strength.
She knew she was weak.
She supposed there as nothing she could really do about it.
She wondered who else thought of her as weak.
It wasn't as if she wished for it.
Orihime wished for strength.
It was that very wish the Hougyoku had granted, was it not?
But she was still weak. Still not suited for battle.
She didn't know Urahara Kisuke had said it for her own good.
She wanted to be strong. She didn't want to be so dependent on Kurosaki-kun, or Kuchiki-san, Tatsuki-chan, or anyone else anymore.
She hated herself for depending on them so much.
She felt weak.
'She only hesitated for a moment.
What a strong willed woman.'
Yet, in the shadows, she was acknowledged the entire time.
...
Death frightened Orihime.
As different from other souls as she is, Orihime is still a human being with emotions, thoughts, and feelings.
After her brother's death, losing more people who were precious to her was something she did not longed for.
"Let me out!"
"Kuchiki-san..."
"Sado-kun is not dead..."
"He's not dead."
"Don't die, Kurosaki-kun! You don't have to win. You don't have to keep trying! Just don't get hurt anymore, please!"
...
She did not feel relieved.
Kurosaki-kun had won, and thank Kami, he was alive. The battle was finally over.
And yet, only anguish washed over her.
She stood up, her eyes meeting Ulquiorra's slowly disintegrating form.
Her face held despondency and grief.
His face was impassive, as it always had been.
His eyes flickered onto hers, his head tilted so that he was looking in her direction.
Their eyes met, and locked.
She did not flinch.
Those emotionless, apathetic emerald orbs did not hold their usual emptiness.
They held meaning.
"You never did as anticipated, up to the very end."
"Right as I was finally growing interested in you people."
"Do I frighten you, woman?"
"I'm not afraid."
"I see."
'I see. Her heart was...right in my hands.'
-
REBIRTH.
-
The number 4, marking his place as one of Aizen Sosuke's army, is there to stay.
Like a permanent tattoo, it is a part of him, just as the emerald tear marks running down his face are.
The hollow hole however, is gone.
Replaced by a heart that was entrusted to him.
" If. . . If I were the rain. . .that binds together the Earth and the Sky, whom in all eternity will never mingle. . .would I be able to bind two hearts together?"
This was her wish.
Tears fill her eyes as her fingers touch where an empty hole once graced itself, and a real smile replaces the despair that used to shadow her face.
Orihime hadn't smiled like this in a long time.
She notes this.
Ulquiorra Cifer was an espada, an arrancar, and one of Aizen's closest loyalties. He had known no emotion and paid no heed to pointless things like hearts, friends, or love. His purpose had been to fulfill all of the duties bestowed upon him by Aizen-sama, and he killed whoever he was ordered to kill, regardless of who or what they were.
In other words, he was a monster.
And yet, clinging to Inoue Orihime's shaking, soothing form, his fingers becoming entangled in her bright orange tresses, tears unknowingly filling his own eyes as he watches his own limbs return to their original form slowly, he is more human then he ever was.
...
Therein lies the heart.
...
END.
...
If you have made it all the way down to the end of this fanfiction, I thank you for reading and I hope you will leave a review.
This fanfiction is inspired by:
- "Rebirth" by ~Rusky-Boz on Deviantart. (Specifically the last scene of this fanfiction.)
-The Lust. [Ichigo Vs Ulquiorra - Bleach AMV] , a vid by flowerxofxevil on Youtube.
-Ulquihime ~ Sayorana, a vid made by 0IcRu0 on Youtube.
-The following songs:
1. "Losing You" by Dead By April
2. "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday
3. "Pieces" by Red
4. "Never Be The Same" by Red
5. "Break Me Down" by Red
6. "Alejandro" by Lady Gaga (surprisingly)
7. "Monster" by Lady Gaga
8. "Fairytale" by Saturday Night At The Apollo
9. "Leave Out All The Rest" by Linkin Park
10. "White Flag" by Dido