but loving him was red.
soul & maka
author's note: i wanted to write something involving soul, maka, and colors for some reason.
dedicated to my friend, because she helped me come up with the representing colors. this is for you, my friend; even though you told me not to dedicate it to you! (insert innocent grin)
tile is from red by taylor swift.
disclaimer: i don't own soul eater, and i have no association with taylor swift nor her latest album red...nor the song itself.
He's like a rainbow to her, a variety of colors that compliments her mood whenever he's near. Their friendship is like the color yellow: bright and sunny that always makes her want to laugh and smile and dance in circles in a field of flowers.
[most of the time, at least]
Sometimes their friendship is black: chaos and anger that consist of slamming doors and yelling and accusations that make no sense at all.
[but they forgive each other, because he can't imagine life without her and she can't picture a future without him by her side]
But after a rainstorm there's always a rainbow, just like how calmness follows chaos. Light blue; the forgiveness and the hugging and the empty promises.
[it's just hugging and empty promises because they don't belong to each other. at least, he doesn't belong to her anymore]
Soul and Kim were never the ideal couple that Maka always pictured in her mind. But they look happy, and their happiness makes her heart ache.
[sometimes they're white, because color represents emotions and sometimes they have none]
Maka is so stupid sometimes.
She's too caught up in grief and jealously to notice that the smile he gives Kim doesn't reach his eyes and how they never hold hands. Kim's only with him for his money and his looks, and even though Soul's known that since day one he's stopped caring a long time ago.
[it's all her fault he's so fucking messed up, but he won't breath a word to her]
It's wrong to accuse her, because in the depths of reality and deep down in his conscience he knows it's not her fault. It's his fault. It's his fault he can't piece back his life together and it's his fault for dating Kim. Their relationship is simply based off their attractiveness for one another, and the fact that he has what she wants and he just wants someone to drag him away from his horrible reality.
[it's shallow, but he doesn't care]
Their friendship is a deep, dark, shade of green. So dark, it can go up against Maka's eyes. Green for envy and the jealously that sparks in her eyes whenever Kim presses a chaste kiss against Soul's cheek.
It's green for a long time, actually.
But Maka can't breathe a word about how much the situation is bothering her. Because Kim is her friend, and Soul is her best friend; someone who told her countless times during their black moments that he and her can never be together because she's plain and flat-chested, and why would someone has cool as him settle for someone as boring and grey as her?
It's the DWMA end-of-the-year party, and she goes with Kid, Liz, Patty, Tsubaki, and Black Star. They're all dressed up in dresses and suits and ties with their hair done and Liz is wearing make-up that make the lights reflect off her eyes. They all look beautiful and stunning, and the guys look handsome and make the girls whisper behind their palms when they all walk past.
And there's Maka.
Even though she gets the most double takes, because she's wearing a short dress that stops dangerously high above her knees and heels that showcase her long legs; she doesn't really care about impressing a group of people. She can deny it to Tsubaki and her friends, but she can't deny it to herself.
[she wants to impress Soul and show off that she isn't always plain and boring like he seems to paint her out to be]
Soul and Kim were together.
[obviously]
Everyone else greets Soul and Kim, pasting on fake cheerful smiles because they know Soul forming a relationship with Kim hurt Maka but they don't bring it up and try not to make it obvious when Patty drags Kim away from Soul to dance and Liz gives Maka a sad smile which her friend makes a point to ignore.
Soul's quiet for a moment, before he stuffs his hands in his pockets and takes advantage of the silence to let his eyes run up her figure; to drink in what she's wearing and it makes his heart race and shit.
He's wearing the red dress shirt, along with the black pants, the black tie, and the black jacket; and Maka faintly realizes that it's the exact outfit he wears when he's in the black room.
He asks her to dance, just to ease the obvious tension that grows between the two of them.
[she accepts, and tries not to take note of how his hands seem to grip her waist like she's his last lifeline]
He corners her when she's in the bathroom one morning, fixing her hair up in her signature pigtails and biting her lip in concentration. He just stands there, almost blending into the background because he's so silent.
[she can't help but observe how much better his starch white hair looks with ashy blond, rather than plain pink]
"What do you want, Soul?" She questioned, readjusting her pigtails one last time; just staring at his reflection as his red eyes bore into hers.
He's silent for a couple more minutes, before he chops down on his lip and stuffs his hands into his pockets. "Nothing. I thought I forgot something," he mutters, awkwardly shuffling out of the bathroom.
[he's lying, but she doesn't speak up]
It's Professor Stein and Miss. Marie's wedding, and she dresses up again. For Professor Stein and Miss. Marie, she tells others.
[for soul, she tells herself]
She's wearing a yellow dress this time, her hair pulled up into an elegant bun with stray ashy blond curls draping down to frame her face. Because yellow is happiness, she tells others.
[because yellow represents their friendship, she tells herself]
His large feet prod against the wooden floor of the hallway as he strolls into the kitchen while she's making dinner, the sound of pots clashing against each other loudly and the smell of meat filling the air.
"You looked nice at Professor Stein's wedding," he starts casually, leaning against the counter next to her.
She stiffens.
[with fear that he figured it out]
"Thanks," she replies dryly, unsure what else to say to propel the conversation.
The silence is thick, and she's thankful she can focus on the food and not him.
"You did too."
His smirk is blank, and doesn't reach his eyes. "Thanks."
She can't remember the last time he smiled, for real.
"I broke up with Kim."
She almost drops the tray that held his milk and her tea, and her heart starts pounding out of her chest even though she doesn't understand why.
Just because Soul broke up with Kim doesn't mean he wants to be with her. His break up means nothing to her.
[it's supposed to mean nothing, at least]
"I'm sorry," she mutters, trying to keep every formal and distant even though there's really no reason for that.
He smirks and head-locks her when she takes a seat next to him. "No, you're not."
She holds her breath. "Why did you break up with her?"
[she doesn't deny that she isn't sorry, because she isn't]
They're having another blue moment, when the calmness surrounds them and she can't remember the last time she felt this peaceful and not like she wanted to hit him in the face with a chair.
[actually, she can; and it was before he started dating kim]
"I think... I think I've figured it out."
She looks up at him. "What are you talking about?"
He looks back at her. "You like colors."
She raised a brow, obviously not having expected that. "Everyone likes colors."
"Yeah, but, you really like colors," he cut in. "You compare our friendship to colors."
She held her breath again. "... How did you know?"
He smirked when she didn't say anything. "I'm just really observant."
At her pointed look, he deflated slightly. "Tsubaki might have mentioned something."
Maka sighed, but she laughed after a moment.
"Soul, I love you."
His breath caught in his throat, caught off guard at her blunt statement. "What?"
She gulped. "I love you."
He blinked, as if taking a moment to let the words sink in. A soft smile graced his lips; the one that he gives out once in a blue moon and the one that actually reaches his eyes. "I love you too, Maka."
They start off their relationship slow, because she's new to this and he respects that.
Eventually, she starts to realize that their relationship is pink. Not red, like the other relationships she read about. The ones that go from zero to a hundred miles per hour and crash into a wall and explode and burn, but the ones that consist of dates and hugs and kisses and just laying together to talk about the world and their thoughts.
She likes this.
She likes pink.
[she's glad he figured it out, even if he did cheat a bit]
fin