A Metroid one-shot
Samus lay, tossing from side to side, trying desperately to get some sleep.
Her mind was filled with strange amoeba-like insects, buzzing around with no visible means of flight. A seasoned bounty hunter just couldn't leave work at work- Ripley taught her that long ago. The other things keeping her awake were the suppurating chafe marks near her joints. Why had she never bothered with the cotton wool joint padding that the other mercenaries swore was so essential? She thought of them as namby-pamby at the time, but was beginning to see the error of her ways.
There was a knock at the door. Startled, Samus jumped up to ceiling level, crushed herself into a tiny ball and dropped a spherical grenade against the door, blowing it to plywood smithereens. As the smoke cleared, she could make out the dashing silhouette of an uninvited visitor. The intruder spoke: "Aran! Get your kit together soldier! You're shipping out!" Was she dreaming? Was the man of her dreams coming to her room? "In the showers, Now!"
"But sir…" "No excuses, Now!" "Sir I can't, you see…" in one fluid motion, Samus removed her helmet. The officer gasped. Samus hadn't removed her helmet in 15 years and her skin was pale and puckered by lack of sunlight. She'd always thought moisturiser was something the other girls used, and looked like Darth Vader when she took off her helmet as a result. "I'm a woman!"
The wizened officer, in all his years of confronting space pirates, had never seen anything like this at all. He let out a yelp and ran from the room, Samus looked shocked, hoping he wouldn't call the police.
The End