Note: These weren't meant to be accurate so much as comical. Please R&R.

Disclaimer: I don't own My Candy Love, Lollipop (the song), or Temple Run (Temple Run 2 is insanely addictive).

Ten Reasons it's Okay to Crush on a Fictional Guy

1. When the teacher calls on you and you don't know the answer:

Nathaniel: Is disappointed that you don't know.

Castiel: Purposely gives you wrong answer.

Lysander: Is zoning out.

Armin: Is playing Temple Run.

Ken/Kentin: Finds answer, gives it to you, and gets you in trouble for cheating.

Alexy: Makes fun of you.

2. When you smile at them in the hall:

Nathaniel: Thinks dirty thought, mentally smacks himself, and smiles back.

Castiel: Thinks dirty thought, checks out ass, and glares.

Lysander: Doesn't see you, is too busy searching for notebook.

Armin: Runs into you while playing Temple Run.

Ken/Kentin: Feels heart pound, stares in panic.

Alexy: Grins. Then finds attractive senior.

3. When you are PMSing:

Nathaniel: Tries to solve problem. Gets annoyed. Makes blue face. Makes you laugh. Makes him angry. Makes you laugh more. Makes him confused. Makes you laugh even more. Makes him smile. Makes you scowl.

Castiel: Participates in bitch fight.

Lysander: Avoids.

Armin: Stays home from school.

Ken/Kentin: Gives you chocolate hearts and flowers. Gets punched.

Alexy: Is PMSing with you.

4. When you send them a flirty text:

Nathaniel: Fidgets and blushes.

Castiel: Doesn't read.

Lysander: Writes a song out of inspiration to sing to you. Chickens out next day.

Armin: Dies before beating high score from distraction and cries.

Ken/Kentin: Dances to "Lollipop".

Alexy: Is creeped out.

5. When distracted by you bending over to grab something during class:

Nathaniel: Can't stop staring down your shirt.

Castiel: Checks out your ass.

Lysander: Poker face (then sees lace).

Armin: Drools, thinks of you in leotard with machine gun.

Ken/Kentin: *Nosebleed*

Alexy: Is jealous of your ta-tas.

6. When jealous of another guy:

Nathaniel: Makes a point of correcting every mistake they make on the homework assignment like a pedantic bastard.

Castiel: Beats the shit out of them.

Lysander: Drops his notebook in surprise and forgets about it.

Armin: Glares and wishes he was Slender Man.

Ken/Kentin: Despairs that you are over him and makes you a giant teddy bear from scratch.

Alexy: Doesn't give a shit. Or two. Or three. Then falls in love with them.

7. When fending off a rapist:

Nathaniel: Scolds them for their involvement in immoral actions.

Castiel: Beats the shit out of them.

Lysander: Engages in a battle of words.

Armin: "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Ken/Kentin: Puts on a brave face and acts tough. Then takes you and embarks on hide-speed chase—running away from rapist

Alexy: Screams and hides behind you.

Dakota: Insults them and dies.

8. When you get turned on around them:

Nathaniel: Doesn't know what to do. Makes awkward excuse about using the bathroom and crawls out the window.

Castiel: Knows he's turning you on.

Lysander: Completely oblivious. Unintentionally sends you mixed signals.

Armin: Imagines you with massive boobs.

Ken/Kentin: Life goal is complete.

Alexy: Runs away screaming.

9. When you go to a party:

Nathaniel: Makes you stay with him so you don't drink anything alcoholic. Gets drink spiked. By you. Does things to you he wouldn't have under normal circumstances.

Castiel: Gets drunk, tries to do…things with you, gets taken home by you since he can't drive, ends up on your couch passed out while your parents are on vacation, and wakes up in bitch mode.

Lysander: Accidently has spiked drink. Rips shirt off.

Armin: Kicks ass at Just Dance 3.

Ken/Kentin: Grinds on you.

Alexy: Ditches you for hot guy and makes you walk home.

10. When you meet them on the beach in Italy:

Nathaniel: Stares.

Castiel: Stares.

Lysander: Stares.

Armin: Stares.

Ken/Kentin: Stares.

Alexy: "Are you going to put those away?"

Makes the idea of dating them tempting, doesn't it?

If you don't get the last one, a lot of countries, specifically European ones, don't concern boobs as much with sexuality like the U.S.A does. You can tell when there are American tourists around.

And your Sucrette? She's a wild child.

The world spins on an axis made of reviews of sugary goodness. Without them, gravity would fail epically and our boobs/manhood would grow sideways.