His eyes upon your face.
His hand upon your hand.
His lips caress your skin.
It's more than I can stand.
Why does my heart cry
Feelings I can't fight
You're free to leave me
But just don't deceive me
And please believe me when I say
I love you
~Moulin Rouge, El Tango De Roxanne
She could just picture it. She could just picture Elphaba entangled in Fiyero's arms and the mere thought of it was making her sick. She wanted those arms that were, in her mind, wrapped around Elphaba's stick like figure to be her own. She didn't want Fiyero's eyes to roam that emerald skin seductively. She couldn't bear to even fathom the idea of his lips pressing against Elphaba's, or even worse acts that she was sure they would commit. Wrapping strands of her own golden hair in her trembling hands Glinda looked at her reflection through the looking glass that was placed in front of her on her bureau.
At her own self-assessment Glinda cringed at how harsh, how icy her features had become. They used to be soft, as soft as rose petals flowing in the breeze and now they were like icicles waiting to melt by the warm sun. Her eyes were orbs of frozen blue water. Her lips were like piping hot chilies ready to snap at her servants or scream while her eyes cried frozen tears.
Did the words I love you mean nothing anymore? Did they even mean anything when Glinda said them to Elphaba? The blonde was sure that they meant something when the handsome Winkie prince said it to her.
Pursing her lips together in agitation, Glinda unwound a hand out of her hair and placed it under her chin delicately. Her fake manicured nails tapped gently on her fragile pale skin.
Her mind began its relentless torture by bringing her thoughts back to the days at Shiz. Elphaba had fascinated Glinda even then, and she had even convinced herself that's that all it had been, a fascination. But as each passing day had gone by the fascination her mind held for Elphaba grew and soon even Glinda had to admit the truth to herself.
She was in love with Elphaba and had been for a long time.
Glinda remembered when she had told her feelings to Elphaba. She had been expecting a cold, harsh rebuttal of rejection from the green woman and had been overjoyed and surprised when she had accepted her feelings. It hadn't been easy and nothing but kisses and touches had been exchanged but Glinda had grown to believe that Elphaba did really love her. Though she never said those words out loud to the blonde woman not even once, Glinda had always knew or at least hoped the green woman returned her feelings.
"It meant nothing," The sound of her own voice startled the blonde. It was as frigid as the winter night's air, and as broken as her heart.
"You stupid girl, why couldn't you see that it meant nothing!" shrieked Glinda in a shrill voice that was unlike her as her nails dug into the skin of her chin.
When she pulled away blood began to appear at the half crescent marks that were indented in her complexion.
Her chest fell and rose rapidly as those blue eyes flickered from side to side in the mirror. Gasps were exhaled from her mouth tremblingly and Glinda could feel herself falling apart. She could feel her mind breaking, separating from all the grief and all the pain. And looking at her reflection was not helping in fact; it was only making it worse.
Her tiara had rusted around the edges. She hadn't bothered to care for it, why should have she? It was a symbol of happiness, of joy and all of Glinda's joy and happiness had been taken away from this world. Her dress was torn in multiple places, her hemline was going, and loose threads were everywhere. The sparkles no longer shimmered with their usual luster. Her heels were dirty and scuffed up but she didn't seem to care. Her tumbling golden locks were untamed and frizzy.
Chuffrey repeatedly had tried to take her to doctors but it had been to of no use. A broken heart was what they had told him, a shattered former of her self was the only thing that was left.
The crumpling blonde woman could not longer stand to look at herself. She got up from the chair hastily, and forced her legs to move. With her mind determined on her destination she didn't let neither servant nor her husband stop her from leaving their temporary home in the Emerald City.
Gusts of chilly air were similar to her mood and Glinda was thankful for the bursts of the coldness for a check on reality as she ventured into the city in the nighttime. Chuffrey had kept her locked up in that sham of a house for too long, ever since she had tried to kill herself after the Witch's/ Elphaba's death.
The night sky greeted her with the thousand lights of the glittering stars up above as they lit the pathway to where she wanted to go.
With her dress heavy around her legs and waist and her heart racing at the newfound freedom Glinda finally reached the place.
The moonlight was cast off into many different directions by the cracked window but even still Glinda crouched down in the dirt and peered into it.
Her imagination began to play tricks on her. Shapeless, emotionless forms of Elphaba and Fiyero haunted her and her mind as she looked into the Corn Exchange. It was funny; Glinda saw Elphaba and Fiyero around every corner, behind every door, and every window they were there. But they were gone now. Both of them were dead, long dead. It had been years now but Glinda could still picture their ghosts as she looked into the Corn Exchange. Her memory saw them as she had so long ago. There was Elphaba, loving and passionate, and Fiyero her perfect counterpart.
The glass reflected her tears as she looked in at the empty room where only she could see the figures of her memory and imagination.
"I love you…" those three words tore at her heart. She remembered clearly hearing those words escape Elphaba's lips towards Fiyero and not her one night. She remembered the passionate kisses the man and the woman had exchanged while Glinda had watched in the window, wishing and hoping that Elphaba would snap back into her senses and come back to her.
I love you, thought Glinda as the stars glittered above her. Deep down she knew that she would never receive those same words back in return from Elphaba. She wasn't supposed to. At last Glinda realized that those words were not meant for her, and they never would be.
Cold, fresh tears blurred her vision of the night sky and her own sobs echoed in her ears drowning out any other sound.
She never heard nor saw the figure on the broomstick flying in the sky that whispered down to her, "I love you, Glinda and I always have…"