"Ok, bro, spill it."
Tim Brennan looked up, annoyed at his younger brother, Ray, who was just standing there grinning stupidly at him. He knew their relationship had grown slightly since Ray's comedic stunts, but Tim didn't feel that granted him the right to come talk to him whenever he wanted. Especially when Tim was studying for a particularly hard geometry test. In the library. Where anyone could walk by and see them. No, that just would not do.
"Spill what? And make it quick, I don't have time for you."
Ray mimicked being shot through the heart. "I'm hurt, big brother. You don't even want to spare five minutes for your favorite sibling?"
"First of all, you're my only sibling. Second of all, despite the lack of options, I still wouldn't call you my favorite. Now, are you done bugging me or do you have a point?" Tim's patience was wearing thin. He was about five seconds from physically removing Ray from the room if he didn't get rid of that look on his face. That look he always had when he was about to go tell on Tim to their mom.
"Okay, I'll get right to it. What's up with you and River Pierce?" Ray's grin turned wicked.
Tim, who had turned back to his homework, shot his head up, startled. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, come on. Do you really think I'm that stupid?" he asked.
"I have a better question: do you really want me to answer that?"
"Be serious for a second," Ray paused. "Whoa, I never thought I'd be the one to say that! This could be potentially life-altering."
"I'll alert the media," Tim said dryly. "Are you done now?"
"Nope. You still haven't answered me."
"What? If I really think you're that stupid? Yes. Yes, I do. You can go now." Tim shoved him away.
"No, not that. I want to know what's going on with you and Roscoe High's Most Eligible Bachelor." To Tim's dismay, Ray grabbed the seat across him and sat down. He folded his arms and it looked like he wasn't going to be leaving any time soon.
"And again, I have no idea what you're babbling about."
"You'd make things so much easier if you at least tried to answer me. Now I have to drag it out." Ray sighed dramatically before going on, "It's become obvious to me, in the past couple of days, that you have a crush on the Great River Pierce. So, I guess the new question is, 'Is the feeling mutual?'"
Tim panicked slightly, but then said calmly, "Okay, I have no idea where you got it that I like River Pierce, but I can definitely say you're wrong and completely insane. Not that that wasn't obvious. And can you keep it down? I don't want rumors to start flying around."
Ray lowered his voice, "So you deny harboring feelings of fuzziness and lust, or as I like to call it, fuzst," Ray struggled with the word for a moment before continuing, "best of both worlds, towards the most popular boy in school?"
"Of course. I'm not even gay, you moron," Tim whispered harshly.
"Please. Spare me the trip down the Nile. It ain't just a river, you know. Oh, and speaking of River…"
Tim rolled his eyes, "Nice transition. Seriously, I don't know where you're getting all of this from."
"No? I can name several occasions. Mainly centering around my rise to fame. When my routine started to feature you, you didn't care all that much until River joined in. I swear, you almost lost it when you saw him wearing the 'I cried at camp' shirt. There's that, then there's the fact that you guys are always together. You touch him a whole lot more than is necessary between two straight, testosterone-filled male friends. I sure as hell don't touch Travis like that," he contemplated that for a moment, then shuddered with slight disgust. "So, it makes me wonder: what is going on behind the façade of the perfect, older brother?" Ray sat back and smirked in triumph.
"You are making way too much out of perfectly normal behavior. I didn't almost lose it when River started getting into your jokes. I was mad that a friend would turn on me like that. How would you feel if Robbie started ridiculing you? Second of all, I don't touch River more than usual. He's been my friend since forever, he's the brother I wish I had instead of you. I'm not gay, I don't have a crush, so get the hell out and let me work. If I fail this test, I swear to God, you will not live to see the light of day."
Ray shook his head. "You're not getting away with it that easily. If you're so straight, what's up with that Beckham poster over your bed?"
"What? I can't admire another soccer player? He happens to be one of the best out there and he's who I aspire to be. That's all."
"Uh huh. And kissing it every night before bed is some kind of good luck ritual?" Before Tim could open his mouth, Ray cut him off, "Don't even try to deny it, big brother. I've seen it with my own two eyes and, on occasion, took pictures."
"What! You little shit! Where are those pictures?" Tim got up and grabbed Ray by the collar, hauling him up from his chair. "You give them to me or I will make your life a living hell."
Ray pried his brother's fingers off his shirt and sat back down. "Don't worry, Tim. I'll give them back to you. On one condition."
He groaned and sat back down, "That being? You want me to do your homework, your chores, set you up with someone?"
"See, now those are all great options and I'm sure I'll be kicking myself later for not taking you up on them, but what I want you to do is make yourself happy. You tell River Pierce about how you feel about him or I post these pics all over the Internet. Plus, I get major gossip rights on you. I want to know everything later."
"It's not that easy," Tim sighed. He figured he might as well stop trying to convince Ray and just speak the truth. "What if he doesn't feel the same? I could be the laughingstock of the school. Not to mention being outed to everyone including mom and dad and that is not a scenario I even want to contemplate."
"He will feel the same. I'm absolutely sure of it. Trust me, bro, there's nothing like finally confessing your feelings to your best friend. Even if it doesn't work out, you still feel like a weight has been lifted."
"You did this?" When Ray didn't answer, Tim pressed on, eager, "I can't believe it! I thought you'd never tell Lily!"
Ray grinned at him, "I never said it was Lily."
As if on cue, Travis walked in, nodding his head at the two of them. He laid one hand on Ray's shoulder and said, "Are you going to be much longer? Robbie and I have been waiting for you. We need to get some studying done." It all sounded innocuous, but when he said the word "studying," he looked at Tim and leered. He actually leered.
"Oh. Right. For that test. Yeah, I'll be there in a sec. Just go tell him I'll be out soon. I need to knock some more sense into Tim," Ray said. Travis nodded, winked (he actually winked) at Tim, then left.
Tim floundered for a bit, not knowing what to say, while Ray just sat there looking more and more smug. Finally he snapped, "I thought you said that you couldn't imagine touching Travis?"
"I lied." Ray shrugged. "I couldn't give the whole game away, bro. Just think about it, okay?" He paused for a second and looked up. "And speak of the devil, River's coming this way. That's my cue to am-scray. Just don't forget what I said." Ray smiled, punched Tim lightly on the shoulder, then left.
Just as soon as he was out the door, River came up to Tim and sat down. "Hey, dude. What's up?"
Tim shook his head and smiled weakly. "Nothing much." He was about to make some excuse to leave, but what Ray said was still swimming in his mind, along with all those disturbing mental images of his baby bro with his two friends. Tim pushed it all away and looked down at his homework.
River reached over and grabbed Tim's shoulder, shaking him a bit. "You okay? You're really quiet."
He looked down at the hand on his shoulder and then up at River's face, which seemed full of concern and…something else. 'Maybe Ray isn't such an idiot after all. I knew there was hope left for him.' "Yeah, everything's cool," Tim smiled. "Are your parents home?"
Frowning at the non sequitur, River said, "No, they're out until late tonight. Some work, dinner, or something. Why?"
"No reason, really. Just wondered if it would be cool for us to go over to your house for a while. I'd really like to do some studying."