Ohayo, minna-san! I was looking back at my school notebook when I suddenly found this one-shot that I wrote for my friend, Sarah-chan. It was originally about her and Shikamaru, but since I'm not a fan of OC/Canon Character fics posted on (unless, of course, it's about me and Itachi and my friends and their respective anime crushes), and I don't want to bore you guys with one, I decided to make it an Ino/Shikamaru fic because I think that if Shikamaru is going to be paired up with anybody it's going to be a) Sarah, or b) Ino (no matter how much I hate her). My English teacher actually read this one and liked it, and I guess its AU, because there's no mention of ninjas anywhere. Or, it can be canon, whatever your perspective is. I originally got this idea when we were talking about convection in science class and Mr. DiPalma showed us a lava lamp to demonstrate. I looked over to my other Naruto-loving friend (who, by the way, is a large Deidara fan) and suggested that Shikamaru would like the lava lamp very much. And so the one-shot was born.

Well, now that I've bored you to death with my super long Author's note (I assume that you haven't abandoned this because of it), on with the show!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own my fantasies, a mini Death Note key chain, and a Sesshoumaru bookmark. I don't own a lava lamp though, sadly.

Lava Lamps

Written by Axolotl

Nara Shikamaru was not a happy camper.

"Shikamaru? Are you even listening to me?"

Oh no, not a happy camper at all.

"C'mon Shika-kun! Talk to me!"

But then again, that is to be expected when you're sick as hell and stuck in bed while your crazy girlfriend whom you love to bits and pieces, but sometimes annoys the heck out of you, is trying to "cheer you up" by talking about all the cool things she did with her friends at the mall earlier today. Not that he wanted to go or anything. But going to the mall, in his opinion, was a heck of a lot better than being confined to a small room where he couldn't even watch the clouds.

"Aw, c'mon Shika-kun, I'm sorry that you had to stay in bed, but will you at least talk to me?"

"I'm sorry Ino. Just that… being sick… is just… well… troublesome." Shikamaru grumbled, irritated.

"Oh my Kami! It speaks!" Ino squealed happily as she squeezed the life out of her black spiky haired boyfriend, "I thought you, like, died or something!" She said as she brushed out the tangles in her boyfriend's high ponytail.

Shikamaru blushed a bit at her idle ministrations with his hair. He brushed an imaginary speck of dust off his gray flannel pajamas that matched his rather boring comforter and sheet set. No matter how aloof and uncaring our dear Shika seems, he's always blushing when alone with Ino.

"I feel bad for you, Shika-kun," Ino started after a long pause, "You can't even go outside and watch the clouds, you poor thing."

Shikamaru just nodded weakly. Curse his immune system! Ino knew he could be turned into the mushiest pile of… mush when he was sick! He had to keep up the lazy, uncaring genius façade who thought everything was just "troublesome". If people saw him like this… who knows what would happen?

Abruptly, Ino halted her attack on Shikamaru's hair as her head snapped up in a stroke of pure genius.

"Wait here Shika-chan! I just had a… a… an… epi-epiphany!" Ino struggled with the new word she had just learned earlier that day. Oh well; she still used her Ino-knows-all voice.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "You just had a sudden intuitive perception or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something?"

The bleach-blonde haired girl pouted, "And here I was the one trying to sound smart. Well, since you ruined my two seconds of smartness, I just had an idea. Be right back Shika-kun!" Ino blew the sick boy on the bed a kiss and bounded off down the whitewashed hallway, giggling to herself at the brilliance of her latest plan.

Shikamaru just sighed, watching his girlfriend's retreating back, muttering, "Women are so troublesome…."

Time passes….

"So, are you happy now, Shika-kun?" One Yamanaka Ino sighed as she snuggled farther under the covers with (the thankfully not contagious) Shikamaru, "It's not quite the same as watching the clouds, but it's just as peaceful, dontcha think?"

"Hn…" Shikamaru grunted as Ino cuddled up to him, "Where did you get it?"

"I got it from Sakura. She said she never used it, so she just gave it to me to use for now," Ino sighed contentedly, "It's sort of addicting to watch."

Shikamaru just nodded and kissed the top of Ino's bleach blonde head. He whispered something in her ear, and her cheeks dusted pink. She swatted him playfully.

"Not as addicting as you."

"That's just the sick acting up, Shikamaru. I know you well enough that you wouldn't say that to me in a million years. "

"Maybe," Shikamaru interjected helpfully.

Ino swatted him again. "But seriously, Shika-kun, don't you think this is almost as peaceful as watching those big puffy things in the sky?"

"They're called clouds, Ino."

"I was trying to be poetic, lazy ass. But don't you think?"

Shikamaru silently agreed on this one; watching the red goo in the lava lamp was almost as peaceful as watching the clouds.

Almost.

Owari

Yes, yes, I know, it was horrible. But I just don't write good right now, kay? My muse has abandoned me. Oh the humanity! Remember, constructive criticism is awesome. Flames are accepted. I will post them all over my front door to show my muse how much I need her right now. Spam (or whatever you call those reviews that you can't read because it's basically all numbers and chatspeak) will be used to feed the rabid Sasuke fangirls I'm torturing in my basement. Remember, I LUVS YA ALL!

-Axolotl

Beware the Blue People of Kentucky! Including Kisame!