'Two' was common,
It had always been just 'we'.
'Two' was more than a number,
Because now, it's just 'me'.
.
He took the step, the fall, the dive,
And I dropped along with.
I can't feel my heart now,
Like 'we' had really been a myth.
.
I watch the shadows
Dance along my walls
And watch my phone always,
Just in case he calls…
.
But I know he won't ever ring,
Because he's gone for good,
And I can't help but stare
At where he once stood.
.
They try to cheer me up,
Drag me out of the black.
But I'd rather sit and contemplate
All that I now lack.
.
The man had been my life,
And I had thought I was his.
But when everything hit hard,
I learned I wasn't all that is.
.
Now I can only see
The ghost of his form
Smiling at me like he used to;
The calm before the storm.
.
I thought he was calculated,
Above such feelings and thoughts,
But now I realize no amount of time,
.
Could unravel all his knots.
The man was like a tapestry,
Woven in beautiful hues;
But now I know the clever front
Was just an elaborate ruse.
.
I know he was who he claimed to be,
That I have no doubt.
But what he always was capable to feel,
Was never really let out.
.
I stood recently
At his neat little grave,
With unspoken words,
And a wish that he'd save.
.
Save me from what he's left me as,
An empty shell of myself;
A plastic molding left to dust
On a lonely little shelf.
.
No one can save me,
I've already lost.
Lost everything I know,
And let my life turn to frost.
.
Now I sit on his neat and tidy bed,
And stare out to the snow on the sill.
It's Christmas and I don't feel the cheer,
Mostly because I've lost all my will.
.
The pills in my hand
Feels warm in my palm,
And I know that if I do it now,
I can finally feel calm.
.
Go back to the calm
I'd gained with him
And lose all the pain
Filling up to the brim.
.
I toss down the evidence
From our very first case,
Taking both at once time,
To ensure that I erase.
.
Erase myself from the grey chalkboard
That has become my days
And hope to see him again
At the end of the light maze.
.
I lie back on the bed and wait
For the poison to do its job,
I can feel it in my veins
And my head begins to throb.
.
Hudson hears me choke and splutter,
And upon the door she bangs.
I hear her screaming my name,
But barely through the pangs.
.
Soon it will all be over,
And I won't have to feel.
Because from this one pain,
I'll never heal.
.
I can't hear my name anymore,
And my vision's gone white.
I see a brief image of Sherlock
Before black fills my sight.
.
They say death is easy,
If you welcome it a gift.
All you need to do is relax,
And let it set you…
... adrift.