Hi, this was inspired by the gotei 13 cleaning rules omake. Contains several other anime references mainly naruto and gintama but also has death note ones too. In addition it also has some reference to my other story When the Past Meets Present. I also will try to update my other stories ASAP. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or other animes mentioned
Gotei 13 Rulebook
Writing by Yamamoto Genryusai
1. When moving heavy objects… NO BANKAI
2. When you found an embarrassing object… NO BANKAI
3. When reprimanding a lazy subordinate… NO BANKAI
4. When dealing with annoying orange hair shinigami… NO BANKAI
5. When dealing with the Shinigami Women Association… NO BANKAI
6. If you are trying to get a black cat or a picture of one… NO BANKAI
7. If you hit a dead end in the sewer… NO BANKAI
8. When dealing with cats that turn into people to annoy you… NO BANKAI
9. If you are in any way teased about anything… NO BANKAI
10. No removing eye patches either for any of the above.
11. While Abarai-fukutaicho may suck at kido, no one is allowed to tease him or call him reindeer.
12. Do not call Hitsugaya-taicho anything but Hitsugaya-taicho unless you're Kuchiki Rukia, we are not responsible if he decided to freeze you to death.
13. Do not mention Aizen, Tousen, or Ichimaru ever or else you have to deal with the shinigamis that became depressed at the mention of their names.
14. No one is allow to be disrespectful to Isshin-taicho, we don't care if he's childish and what not. He's still a captain and deserves to be treated like one especially if he's your father.
15. While Komamura-taicho may be a dog/wolf thing he is not in any way associated with the Inuzuka clan, so stop asking.
16. No one is allowed to taste Inoue Orihime's cooking if you do, it's your own fault for getting food poisoning.
17. Do not ask Madarame-sanseki when he's going to fight with his bankai, because he does not "have" one
18. Also do not ask Ayasegawa-goseki to reveal his real shikai or else your reiatsu will be drain by him
19. Just because Hitsugaya Toshiro and Hijikata Toshiro sound similar it doesn't mean that Hitsugaya-taicho also has a mayonnaise addiction.
20. There is no such thing as a death note so stop asking if the book Ise-fukutaicho is carrying around is one of those death notes.
21. While we are on this whole death note thing, do not ask if Kira-fukutaicho is this Light person.
22. Stop asking the Twelfth Division to build a Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon, there is no such thing, even if there are it's just a dirty joke.
23. Stop asking if Ichimaru and Hitsugaya are related, they are not in any way related.
24. We cannot seal anyone to our stomach so stop trying to attempt that.
25. Zangetsu does not have a relative name Toyako, so stop having Toyako engrave in a wooden sword and attempt to use Final Getsuga Tensho with it, you will only look like an idiot if you do that.
26. No one is allowed to mock Kurosaki Ichigo about his Japanese skills or his hair color; he may decide to go bankai on you.
27. No one is allowed to assume that I, Yamamoto Genryusai, am using Ryujin Jakka to do household chores.
28. Stop throwing cherry blossoms when Kuchiki-taicho enter the scene, he is not like Kyoraku-taicho.
29. Stop asking Kurosaki Ichigo if he has any plans to destroy Konoha with this person named Pain.
30. Anyone that tries to break into the Kuchiki Manor will be stuck down by a wave of cherry blossoms.
The dead end in sewer part refers to epi. 298 when the group was chased around in the sewer, Renji used his bankai to break a wall when they hit the dead end.
Suggestions to rules are welcome!
Please review