A/N: I do not own Trinity Blood or any of the characters. However, please enjoy and review.
It hit me before I knew what happened; I sat there doubling over in at first sudden pain. My blood was everywhere-which put a lot of concern in both me and Esther. But that was just the beginning. Already I could feel the chemicals from the dehydration bullet Radu shot me with take effect. I could automatically feel my mouth suddenly become parched; frightened but at the same time, overcome with an uncontrollable thirst. Still, my body was hunched over the blood spilt, my senses easily picking it up, making me crave it more and more.
My mind buzzed wildly, as my emotions and conscious yelled at me to pull it together-screaming at me "NO! Not in front of her!" However, all at the same time, I could hear her voice in the distance. That peaceful voice that was as clear as a bell. Her voice was the only thing that pretty much was holding my sanity together. I was embarrassed, but at the same time tortured by my natural instincts: to kill, to feed…I couldn't let that happen.
"Esther..." I finally managed to spit out. "…kill me."
"Sir!" I could hear her small footsteps getting louder as she came to my aid; her sweet scent getting stronger and stronger, causing my blood lust to become somewhat overpowering. I couldn't and wouldn't let it get the best of me.
"Sir!"
She wasn't listening…
"KILL ME!" I screamed. She could already see that my eyes were changing color from a deep burgundy to a blazing scarlet.
A gasp came from my red-headed companion, as she slowly backed up against the wall of the dungeon. I could suddenly feel myself getting thirstier; even more helpless than before. The fear in my eyes said it all. I was well aware that she didn't understand what I was going through, and I didn't blame her. I did what I could to fight it off.
"…No…I won't." I heard her say.
How could she just stand there and watch me suffer like this? I thought she was my friend.
"Please…Please Esther." I begged. Tears started to well up in my eyes. "Do it for my sake."
I begged her for my death, but she refused.
I didn't care if I died; I just didn't want to hurt her. I could feel my urges get stronger and stronger; I tried so hard to fight it off. I kept telling myself "Just pull yourself together, you can do this. Don't let that damned Radu win!"
Suddenly, thoughts of Radu popped into my mind. How could he do this to me? He of all Methuselah was my friend, my greatest confidant. I just couldn't believe he'd betray me.
Suddenly, another wave of hunger was coming. I wasn't ready for it, but I caught it before it did any real damage. I could already feel my fangs getting sharper and my nails growing from clean-cut to talons. I was really scared, but I couldn't say how poor Esther was feeling.
"Hurry…kill me quickly Esther…." I winced. I could feel my sanity diminishing as the thirst became more potent. "I'm so thirsty. I'll probably drink every drop of your blood." What was I saying! Was I losing it? Was I letting the dehydration win?! Still, I was trying so hard to fight against the will to just get up and attack her then and there.
She gave me no answer. She was probably petrified with fear, feeling helpless herself. How could she be? I asked her to do me one favor, that would probably save her life!
"Before that happens…" I managed to warn, "Before I kill you…"
I heard a small "no, I won't" from the other side of the room. Part of me wanted to console her to take her fear away, yet the majority of me wanted what was freely pulsing inside her veins. I HAVE TO FIGHT THIS OFF!
"Do it, Esther." I begged again. I wanted her to end my suffering. I wanted it so much; I wanted to die. Anything, just so I wouldn't hurt her. I pulled my body into a ball, focusing so hard to get back to normal, but was having trouble doing so. My thirst was becoming unbearable.
"I…I can't hold back anymore!" I cried. More tears were starting to well up inside me, as I let them stream down my face. "Please!"
I never cried in my glory days. Everything seemed to be just fine, if not perfect; I was always happy. But today, it was a hellish nightmare, which I so desperately wanted to wake up from. I was afraid, and alone in this. With Esther being my only food source, I couldn't allow myself to resort to doing it….but the blood.
"I don't…I don't want to hurt you!" I said through my salty tears.
Again there was a silence. I was starting to think that she was ignoring me, or had killed herself with the knife Radu had thrown in there. Even if she didn't, I felt alone.
"Please!"
More tears welled up and spewed from my eyes; I could feel my sanity slipping quickly, as I became compressed with the unsatisfactory feeling. I felt as if I were the only one in the cell, crying my heart out for food that I really didn't want.
"Sir…" I heard her say. "It's all right…"
I heard her soft footsteps again; boldly coming towards me. My thoughts told her to stay away, or she'll die. But unfortunately, that wasn't working very well at the moment. She sat down right beside me, and said those words that made me immediately stop crying.
"You can have my blood," She said, wiping my tears away. I looked at her slightly dumbfounded. "So don't cry anymore."
I began to think of her as my rescuer, my angel. Only, this was for the wrong reasons.
"You're not at fault…it's not your fault."
She was right about that. This was Radu's, or that so called "Puppet master's". Oh, if we get out of here alive, I'm getting revenge for what he put me and Esther through. Still, I couldn't help but to look into those calm blue eyes of hers. In a way, I could feel some part of me return back to normal; I wasn't sure though. As she caressed my cheek, more tears welled up in me and leaked out. I felt helpless, and a traitor. A traitor towards myself, and my best friend-even if she was volunteering to remedy my pain.
"Esther…" I managed to say. I really wanted to hug her, and just cry in her arms, but I knew that would be dangerous.
She gave me one last look, aware that this would probably be her last. I assumed that she wanted me to be the last thing she saw. Already I felt a pang of guilt as well as another wave of hunger, as she pulled her collar down, exposing her pale warm flesh.
"Now…" She ordered softly, closing her eyes…probably for the last time.
I could feel my eyes quickly targeting her jugular; my mind wandering what she would taste like…it was happening again: The blood lust. But this time, at full force. Tears welled up in my eyes again, as I began to regret doing what I was about to do. I was still in shock about her decision, yet at the same time, I was very grateful. I could already feel my body move towards her neck; I could feel my fangs getting sharper like a syringe about to pierce; my eyes changing again to that frightening deep scarlet. I moved my clawed hands towards her shoulders as I latched on limply to get a better position.
I opened my mouth exposing the dry air to my fangs that were slowly approaching her neck. I could feel her heart beat quickly as her death was about to come. My common sense was still beating me up, screaming "No idiot, don't do it! She's you're friend. Don't kill her!"
"Esther…" I said, as I moved in closer. "I…"
I was about to make my move for her jugular. Already, I could sense her sweet smell, which was driving me mad.
"I…"
I was about to do what I feared greatly doing. My mouth was about to pierce her neck, but somehow something in me snapped me back into reality….maybe love? Humiliation? Maybe it was the fear of losing my best friend…maybe more? I could feel the effects of the bullet lessen some, but not as much as I wanted. My senses were still hyped.
"I…I can't!" I said, realizing what I was actually doing. "I can't!"
Tears welling up again, I quickly pushed myself away from Esther, and grabbed for the silver dagger; the best way to truly wake myself up from this nightmare.
…Blood splattered all over my thigh, as the silver dagger seared itself though my flesh. The pain from it, snapped me back into reality even more, forcing my unquenchable thirst to back down. Esther watched in shock, as I concentrated on the pain. Determined to do the job myself, I crawled to the other side of the dungeon; in the shadows: the best place for a beast to die in peace. I reached for the stone wall, and with all of my might, I managed to pull myself up. I painfully rested my body against the cold stone, turning my attention back to the frightened princess.
Just as she realized what I was about to do, I mustered enough strength to gather the rest of my sanity, as well as the rest of my thoughts. I couldn't live like this, and didn't want to.
"Thank you, Esther." I said, my right hand still holding the handle of the silver dagger. "I won't forget…your gentleness…"
I heard her cry out to me; trying to stop me from committing a crime against God. But what did it matter anyway? I was a child of the night; people like me are considered abominations. I didn't care anymore, and was ready to end it.
"STAY BACK!" I hissed.
The cell became silent once again. I was determined just get the job done, even if she was watching me. I just couldn't stand to suffer no more, especially since she was there. I feared if I had stayed with her, I'd just go mad again, and continue the cycle of sheer terror. I began to think of my family, my grandmother, my servants who treated me always with kindness…but I thought mostly about the red-head in front of me. I loved her, and yes I will admit it. But I couldn't let myself put her in harm's way. Tears began to well up in my eyes, as I thought of not being able to be with her anymore and to see and carry out the dreams we both wanted for both worlds.
"I'm glad I was able to meet you." I said.
I could hear her crying for me. I could feel it in my heart, that I was doing the right thing-not only for myself, but for her. I WAS DOING THIS FOR HER!
I saw her reach out for me, trying to get to me. I couldn't let her have me this way. Not while I was still thirsty, not while my sanity was continuing to slip away. I let out a sob, and cried out,
"Farewell, Esther!"
I quickly pulled the bloody dagger out of my thigh, and held it high above my heart. I was afraid to do it myself, but I was determined. I could hear a gasp come from her teenaged form, as she tried to stop me.
"STOP IT!" She screamed!
Just as she lunged for me, I swung the blade of the dagger down towards my heart…gunshot.
The blade broke in two, shattering to pieces. Shocked at what happened both Esther and I looked out the gated door to see where it came from.
"Father Abel!" Esther cried out with joy.
Indeed it was. I was very happy that he saved me from certain death.
After we were rescued, I was given the proper supplements to finally get rid of my crazed dehydration. I thanked them, and went off somewhere to collect my thoughts; mostly to reflect what happened back there. I was really scared, and pretty much didn't know how to handle that situation. I mentally kicked myself for allowing that to happen, but as Esther said before, I wasn't at fault.
I looked out of the window to see Esther standing there, also thinking back on today's events. I really have to thank her someday for attempting to save me, that … and I want to tell her that I love her. Maybe I'll muster of the strength to reveal that later, but for now, maybe that will be a secret.