It was a humid day in Seattle. Dr. Shepherd's hair was being bad. It looked like devil fingers had played pick up sticks with it. So he put poop in it. Late one night while he was waiting for Meredith, or as he liked to call her, Dr. Gray, to wax his eyebrows, he'd seen Dr. McSteamy on Sanjay Gupta raving about putting poop in your hair. The results were miraculous he claimed. He even went so far as to say it would make your hair look like a unicorn's beard.
Naturally, Dr. Shepherd followed his advice. The next day, after his second regular bowel evacuation, he rubbed the poop in his hair in a circular manner. He was in a bit of a mood, because he had forgotten about his plans and flushed his first movement.
The day just got worse from there. The first clumps started to fall out in the morning bagel break. Karev was talking about his petition to get their uniforms changed to "pants optional" when the first chunk fell with a resounding *clink*.
"Why is there a piece of poo hair on my bagel?" inquired Karev.
Dr. Shepherd looked away. He pretended it had not fallen from his head.
As the day drew on, more hair fell out, creating a trail leading to Dr. Shepherd. No longer did the patients pee in pure ecstasy at his entrance into the operating room.
It became clear that Dr. McSteamy's claims were in fact the result of his extensive meth abuse and subsequent hallucinations and delusions of grandeur. That, or Shepherd's poop was abnormally acidic.
By noon, a shell of the former McDreamy remained. His deformed peanut scull was now visible. He was a peanut.
By 2 P.M, the hospital kitchen staff had mistakenly picked up a peanut in the hallway and used him in their Caribbean fish curry soup. Many deaths were to occur that day and blamed on Meredith. Mostly peanut related. Afterwards, the hospital established a peanut embargo and the "pants optional" uniform. It was a good day for Karev.