Care Bears Meet Happy Bunny

In the happy little world of Care-A-Lot the fuzzy little bears were busy making cream pies when a bright, pink bear with a rainbow on her fat belly ran up.

"Hey! We have to get to Earth to help a poor bunny." She put her hands on her hips. "Honestly Grumpy. Have a little decency."

The gray-blue bear was wolfing down Twinkies and was covered in the cream. "Got a problem?"

"Uh yeah. You're looking like a big, blue pig."

He looked down. "You're right!"

Cheer turned around and nearly blew a gasket. Champ Bear was eating extra thick Twinkies, four boxes of them.

"What is with you people?! Don't you care about this bunny that needs our help? We're caring! That's why we have 'care' in our name." She smiled like she was trying to get a point across to him.

"Why can't we just be called 'don't-really-care bears'?" He shot back the smile.

"Uhhh! Let's go Twinkie Boy!" She grabbed him and pushed him into the cloud car. She floored it and they sped off toward Earth.

When they arrived she got out of the car and slammed the door. She stopped and turned around as soon as she realized that her partner wasn't with her.

"Just come on so we can get this over with, and leave the Twinkies! Better yet, give them to me." Cheer exclaimed.

"Okay. But they'll go right to your hips." He admitted.

"I'm not going to eat them you…I'm not even going to say it."

They walked over to a little, white bunny that was looking sad.

"Hi little guy. I'm Cheer Bear. Can I help you with your problem?" She asked.

"Yeah. Thanks." He smiled evilly.

A few minutes later the two bears were stuffed into a really small hole. They had their butts sticking out of the hole. The bunny was laughing his head off.

"Stupid bears. No body messes with Happy Bunny. Ha! Ha! Ha!" He then hopped off.

Meanwhile stuck in the hole.

"Oh this is just great! Way to go Cheer, you got us stuck in a hole face-down."

"Shut up Twinkie Boy or I'll shove the entire box of Moonpies down your throat." She paused. "When we get out of here."

"'Hi little guy. I'm Cheer Bear. Can I help you with your problem?' Real smart Cheer. You just had to help the psycho bunny." Champ mocked.

"Shut up Twinkie so I can figure out how to get out of this hole. I got it. Dig. Dig for your life!"

They both started digging until one of them stopped moving. The one that was still moving turned around and stared into the dark.

"Uh Champ. You coming?" Cheer asked.

"Yeah. And I think my tree is now a stump." He whined.

"What?"

"Just keep moving before I make you pay for my medical bill."

"Fine. Let's go Stumpy!"

About an hour later they made it out into the open air and brushed themselves off. Champ was walking at a limp because of his incident. He went right to the car and grabbed his Twinkie box. He looked in after he couldn't feel the cakes and threw the box on the ground and stomped on it in rage.

"What's wrong with you?" Cheer asked when she walked up.

"That dang rabbit took the rest of my Twinkies. Ohh he's going to pay."

"He's a bunny not a rabbit. He said so in his name."

"I don't care what the heck he is. That thing's going to be dead when I get through with him. Now let's go catch us a bunny!" He hopped into the car and sped off.

"Ahem!" Cheer folded her arms over her chest and looked mad.

He reversed and stopped so she could get in. "Sorry."

"Yeah. Just go so I don't kill you, too."

They followed the trail Happy Bunny left, Twinkie crumbs. When Champ saw them he sped up even more and kept swearing under his breath. Then Cheer saw a puffy tail a few yards ahead of them and tapped on her partner's shoulder.

"What?!" He yelled and took his eyes off the road to glare at her.

"I just saw him. Up ahead!" She told him.

"What!" He yelled again over the roar of the engine.

"Stop! You're going to miss him you bird-brain!"

"What!"

"You're going to…" Right as she was about to finish the car started to bump around and bounce.

Champ slammed on the brakes and stared at Cheer in pure rage. "What did you want to tell me, now?"

"You hit the bunny." She explained.

"Huh? I hit it?" He looked behind the car and saw a fluffy mound of fur in the middle of the road. "Right on!"

"You are a moron. We wanted to catch him not splatter his brains on the highway."

"My bad. Hey! He might still have a Twinkie, let's go!"

They got out of the car and walked over to where Happy Bunny was. Champ bent down and picked up the box of Twinkies lying next him. He looked in and nearly went into an uncontrolled rage. Then the bunny reached up and smacked him across the face.

"Ow! Oh you are so dead!" He tried to grab Happy Bunny around the throat but the bunny hopped up and kicked him down south.

"I've wanted to do that for years." Cheer commented while watching the action.

"Just shut up and grab him."

Cheer hoisted up Happy Bunny and they carried him over to the car where Champ tied him down with the seatbelts, some rope, and one of Cheer's scarves. He kicked and tried to bite them with his long teeth.

"What are you doing with my scarf? You're going to get rabbit fur all over my scarf. It's a Marc Jacobs and it didn't come cheap!" Cheer shrieked.

"It's a scarf not your life." Champ objected.

"It's the world to me. Now let's just get this thing to the police department so they can give him the electric chair."

"You dumb weirdo, they don't do the electric chair anymore. Besides, he has to be tried first. Now let's go!"

About an hour later they had to stop so Champ could take care of personal business and to change a flat tire. They bunny was duck-taped because he kept shouting out curses and trying to bite them. Cheer was busy holding him down on the back seat when Champ came back from the EZ Mart with a car jack and a full box of extra, triple thick Twinkies. He had one jammed in his mouth when he put the jack on the ground and started changing the flat tire while Cheer was griping about how he was so gross.

"I can't believe you went in to get TWINKIES when I was stuck here watching Evil Bunny! What is wrong with that picture?" She yelled.

"I got a jack, too." He protested.

"Whatever. Just hurry up so we can get rid of this terror."

"Give him to Grumpy as a Christmas present."

"Come on!"

"Okay! Okay! We're going!"

He threw the jack into the car and jumped in with Cheer already in the passenger seat. Almost an hour later and several choice words said they arrived at the police department with their little capture. Almost as soon as they thought their troubles was over it was just beginning. The police didn't find anything wrong with Happy Bunny and said that it was just a normal, harmless bunny rabbit and that they should go and see a doctor. Well, Champ thought that was fine but Cheer got fined almost half a million dollars for jumping on the policeman and punching him out. Champ had to drag Cheer off him and endured a powerful and very excruciating kick to his groin. He had to kiss her to make her settle down. Apparently she had had a crush on him for a long time since she fainted from shock.

"Man, I've still got the sexy." Champ said to himself while driving on to a wildlife refuge.

Cheer finally woke up when Champ got back into the car after he gave Happy Bunny to the refuge center.

"Where's that bunny?" Cheer asked looking around for Happy Bunny.

"He's in the wildlife refuge center."

"Oh. Let's get back home so I can get my dinner made and get all of those Twinkies out of your house."

"Uh! Well if you do that then why don't we just get hitched?" He shouted.

"I wouldn't dare marry someone like you."

"Fine. Be that way."

When they finally got back Cheer went to her house and got dinner ready. While the spaghetti was boiling she went upstairs to her room and found a letter on her nightstand. She opened it and read it and noticed that it was from Champ and that he wanted to apologize for being so annoying. She went back downstairs and saw him sitting at the kitchen table reading a magazine.

"How in the world did you get in here…and without a key?" She asked.

"The back door. You know, you really need to start locking it. You never know who might break in." He replied.

"We live on top of clouds so I highly doubt they can get up here in the first place."

"What's for dinner?"

"Spaghetti. You wanna stay?"

"Sure."

After dinner the two were watching TV when they heard a noise. Cheer got up and went over to the chimney and looked up in it. All of a sudden something fluffy popped out of it and grabbed on to her. She let out a shriek so loud dogs on Earth were howling.

"Thought you could get ready of me that easily did you? Well, here's Happy Bunny!" The bunny yelled with pure evil.

Champ walked over and smacked the bunny so hard that he hit the window and spread out. Then he fell off and looked up at the two, one of which who was holding a snare in his hand. He instantly hopped up and ran for the door but forgot that it was closed so he smacked into it and finally got it open so he could hop out with the two right behind him.

"You'll never catch me! Ha! Ha! Ha!" He squealed. Then right when he turned around Take Care Bear's ambulance ran over him and left tire tread marks across his back. Champ and Cheer went over to where the squashed bunny was and looked down at him. Happy Bunny's foot twitched and then fell back onto the road.

"Hey, poke him. See if he's still alive." Champ suggested.

Cheer looked over at him with her mouth open and gave him a look of pure shock. "I don't think so! Do I look that stupid to you?"

"Yes. Oops." He winced as Cheer slapped him across the face.

"Say that again and see what happens!"

All of a sudden Happy Bunny hopped up and ran off with a new box of Twinkies. When Champ saw them he went after him and Cheer just watched with a smile of satisfaction on her face. Champ tackled Happy Bunny and put him in a headlock but it didn't last too long before the bunny bit Champ on the rump and took off again with the Twinkies. He just watched as his beloved cakes disappeared with the bunny.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" He bent over and started to sniffle.

"It's okay. We'll get some more Twinkies…and some Slim Fast… when we get back to town." Cheer comforted.

"No. Not this time. This time it's personal." He stood up and looked off in the direction that Happy Bunny went. "I'm coming for you babies!"

Cheer had to run after him because she knew that he was going to end up getting his butt kicked again or something similar so she speed up and followed him until she came to an old house. She walked in and found herself staring at an old clock made out of skeletons. Then she ran up the old stairs until she came to a room. She opened the door and saw Champ bound and gagged in the center of the room.

"Oh my stars! Are you all right?" She stifled back a laugh and started to walk forward but he shook his head violently to stop her from moving, but before she could stop an alarm went off and she was hanging upside down by her ankle and had her arms crossed over her chest once again. "Why didn't you tell me about the trap, you idiot?"

Champ just frowned and looked angry. Finally after what seemed like ten minutes Cheer pulled out her nail file and Champ pointed at it and made a slashing motion so she started filing her nails. He shook his head and then pointed up at the rope and made the motion again.

"Oh. Okay you want me to cut the rope. I get it now." She said and started cutting the rope with the file. He just rolled his eyes at her and looked annoyed.

Once she was down on the floor she walked over and untied her partner and he pulled what looked like chocolate out of his mouth and threw it down. "Why in the heck didn't you just eat that? That was perfect chocolate that you just wasted." She whined.

"It makes me break out in hives." He explained.

"So does that mean you're allergic to it?"

"Duh."

"Okay. Now let's go get this bunny and end this nightmare."

Long into the night they were hot on his tail until he turned and went down an old deserted road. Champ stepped on the brakes and the car stopped. He just stared down the road and then over at Cheer.

"Well, let's go." He said and started to step on the gas pedal.

"Are you insane!" Cheer turned and looked at him with an expression of fear on her face. "I ain't goin' in there."

"You're in my car so I think you will be going, unless you want to stay here where there might be weirdoes roaming around."

"Okay, I'll go!"

They drove along the road for a long time without even seeing a single hair of the bunny. They turned off on an old deserted road and stopped when they came to a bridge. It was broken in some places and creaked in the wind. Without a say from his partner Champ floored the gas and they took off across the bridge. When they got to the other side he hit the brakes and looked over at Cheer who was clinging onto the seat and panting heavily. Champ started to say something but Cheer held up her hand in order to stop him from talking.

"Are you alright?" He asked sheepishly and started to step on the gas pedal.

"Step on that and you'll be six feet under." Cheer said through gritted teeth and then shoved her hair back out of her face.

All of a sudden he saw Happy Bunny up ahead and before Cheer could brace herself, he took off again and was hot on the bunny's trail. They plowed through a fence and a couple bales of hay before Cheer grabbed the steering wheel and jammed her foot down on the brake pedal. They car screeched to a halt right by a cliff and she hopped out and slammed the car door shut.

"What's your problem? I mean ever since we started this little expedition you've been all huffy with me. What did I do to you?" Champ followed her and stopped when he ran into her.

"You got us stuck in a hole! You got my scarf totally destroyed! You got me in trouble with the police! And…you got me stuck upside down in an old house!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Actually you're the one who got yourself in trouble with the police."

"Shut up and get my butt home!"

"Not with out my Twinkies."

"Who gives a darn about your Twinkies?"

"Don't be dissin' the Twinkies."

Cheer walked over to the car and pulled out a box of brand new Twinkies and threw them on the ground. Then she stood up on the hood of the car and jumped down onto the box until it was as flat as a board. Champ walked over with clinched fists and teeth gritted and just glared at her evilly.

"Oh no you didn't." He picked up the box and then threw it back down on the ground.

"Looks like I just did." Cheer got back down and got up in his face. "Besides, you know you can't hit a girl. So I guess you can't punch my face in."

Before he could do anything Happy Bunny came out from nowhere and attacked them. Cheer started smacking him with her purse and then Champ pulled a bazooka out of the trunk of the car and aimed it right at Happy Bunny.

"Kiss your fluffy tail good-bye, bunny." He fired it and all that was left of Happy Bunny was a smoldering pile of ashes.

"You killed him." Cheer shrieked. "Well I guess that's one way of getting rid of him."

"Exactly. Now I'm thinking that maybe we should get hitched that way we can get rid of any other annoyances…starting with Grumpy."

They hopped into the car and headed back home but on the way Cheer brought a question to mind. "You know, we our never getting our kids a bunny…ever."

"Kids? Wait a minute what's this about kids?" Champ looked over at her with a confused expression on his face.

"You don't think I'm marrying you just to get married, do you?"

"Oh boy. Good-bye Super Bowl and hello long nights."

The End