Prompt: In which Karkat does not know how to swim and John has to wade out to save him. Yes, wade.

AN: ok, so this is sometime after they all meet up. let's say they still have some traveling on the asteroid to do before they get to the other session they just met up earlier than expected kthxbai.

Your name is John Egbert and your normally awesome friendleader buddy is being a pain in the ass.

"Come on, Karkat, it's just a pool!"

He pulls his knees up to his chest and shakes his head vigorously. "No."

You sigh and try to affect your patented ADORABLE POUT with PUPPY EYES.

"No."

"Oh, come on, Jade alchemized this pool just for my birthday!" It cost a lot of grist, too. Luckily Dave still had a crapton of the stuff.

"I don't want to, Egbert. Get that through your drooling excuse of a think-pan, would you?"

You sigh and get out of the pool, pretending to acceed to his wishes.

Then you push him in.

Your PRANKSTER'S GAMBIT rises 50 points!

Just as you start celebrating, though, Karkat starts shrieking and splashing everywhere. "GODDAMNIT JOHN YOU BULGEBITING MORON I CAN'T SWIM!"

"… Karkat?"

"WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR, I'M DROWNING YOU-" He trailed off into gargling sounds.

You wade into the water and grab the troll by his armpits. "Karkat. It's up to my knees."

He whimpers and clings to your legs. "Water… very bad. Get me out of the godforsaken hellhole."

"You're hanging onto my legs!"

He buries his face in your knees and whimpers again.

His whimpers sort of make you feel like you want to cuddle him and kiss his nose and protect him from the big bad water.

In a totally palsy, heterosexual way. Obviously.

Sighing, you hoist Karkat into your arms, where he promptly latches his arms around your neck, and slowly carry him over to the side of the pool.

It takes him nearly five minutes to remove his arms from your neck, and three more minutes to get him out of your lap.

Once he finally recoveres, he glares at you. "Never, ever talk about this to anyone. Ever."

You giggle. "It's fine, Karkat, nobody has to know that you're afraid of water!"

He gives you a you-stupid-human look. "No, you idiot, almost every troll is afraid of water, except seadwellers. I'm talking about me acting like a frightened wriggler and clinging onto you."

You turn bright red for absolutely no reason that you can think of. "Right. OK!"

AN: haha this sucks I wrote it at like 1 am and what are words