Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
xoxoxo
One fine day, Light and Misa were on a date. This meant, of course, that L was on a date as well, as he was handcuffed to Light and therefore was forced to accompany him. On this fine day, Light had decided to switch things up a bit, and instead of going on the date on Misa's floor of the skyscraper, he decided to take her to floor 12. Because everyone knew, of course, that floor 12 was one of the nicest floors. Duh.
In any case… One of the reasons floor 12 was so special was because it was the entertainment floor. No one knew exactly why L had an entertainment floor put into a building meant to aid in the capture of a dangerous criminal, as 98 percent of their waking time was devoted to working on the Kira case, but regardless, floor 12 was there, floor 12 was for fun, that was that. Anyway, the last person to question L's motives found himself on a ship to Guatemala, so everyone kept quiet about it.
Now, when I say 'entertainment,' I mean the floor not only contains a movie theater, but also a bowling alley, a pizzeria, a skating rink, an ice skating rink, a bakery (of course), a tennis court, an arcade, and a McDonalds, because there's at least 5 McDonalds (McDonaldses?) in every district of every city of every state of every country in the world. This thrilled Misa, as she could do date-like things with Light at last, because L couldn't show his face in public and that meant Light had to stay inside as well.
"Oh, oh, where should we go first, Light?" Misa said excitedly, latched onto Light's arm and looking around at the doors in the main hallway of floor 12, each clearly labeled with one of its attractions. "Should we see a movie? I wonder if Ryuuzaki gets any good ones in here… But I'm a bit hungry… Fast food will make me fat, and pizza is greasy. Don't you have any good food places here? Or we could go ice skating, doesn't that sound romantic?"
Light merely allowed himself to be dragged along (meaning he allowed L to be dragged along as well) as Misa raced through the hallway, pausing at every door to either praise or criticize what was on the other side of it. He wasn't really enthusiastic about the date, but the prospect of enjoying some outside pleasures while chained to L was appealing to him.
As they approached the door to the bakery (which Light noted had a large, over-decorated plaque compared to all of the other doors), L cast a longing glance in its direction, moving towards it by instinct. Light had kept going due to Misa tugging him along, but when the handcuffs were pulled taut, he was forced to stumble backwards, pulling Misa off balance and into him, sending them both tumbling to the ground, L falling along with them.
"…That hurt," L noted quietly, voice slightly muffled from his place under Light and Misa. Logic and reason would tell you that he would've fallen on top of them, but logic and reason are nonexistent on floor 12. Why do you think no one ever investigates while there? Certainly not because of the fun floor 12 brings. Not at all.
Misa grumbled and pushed herself upwards, blushing lightly at her place on top of Light. The sight of Light sprawled out on the floor, eyes screwed shut and both clothes and hair a mess, had L's limbs not been sticking out from under him at odd angles, would have looked quite romantic. Light's eyes snapped open and he lightly pushed Misa off of him, disliking the feeling of L's bones pressing into his back.
"Ah, thank you," L said, sitting up once Light had gotten off of him.
"What was that for, Ryuuzaki?" Misa said angrily, standing up.
"My apologies, I'm rather hungry," L said, standing up with Light.
"Is cake all you ever think about?" Misa asked, glaring.
"Why, not at all," L responded. "I also think about strawberries, éclairs, pie, sugar, and cherries, just to name a few."
Misa huffed in annoyance, and Light stepped in between the two, holding his arms up.
"Okay, okay, there's no need for fighting," he said, "Let's just continue on, okay?"
"But… I want some cake…" L said in protest, holding a hand up to his stomach to indicate that he was hungry.
"I told you, cake makes you fat!" Misa said.
"Must I explain the 'Using-Your-Head Theory' again?"
"There you go again, insulting me!"
"It wasn't an insult. I was merely stating…"
"Oh, please! We all know you think I'm stupid!"
"No… I-"
"Would you two cut it out?" Light said in annoyance.
"My apologies, Light-kun. Now, about that cake…" L started.
Two glares were all he got in response.
"Oh, all right… But we'll stop here before we leave, all right?" L said dejectedly.
"That's fine, now let's just go," Light said.
They continued along the hallway, as Misa continued to point things out that the two either already knew or didn't care about.
"You two play tennis, right? Maybe you can show me some time. Hmm, I wonder what kind of games are in the arcade… I suppose pizza will be okay if I only eat a bit. Hmm, do you have popcorn at the theater? Maybe I'll just have some of that, though it's not much better…"
"Misa!" Light called, eye twitching.
"Yes, Light?" she said happily, smiling up at him.
"Please… just… decide on somewhere…" Light said in a strained voice.
"All right, fine… Ice skating, then!" she declared happily.
This struck both L and Light in the wrong way. L couldn't skate! Also, he had a bad experience with ice back when he was younger. He shuddered as he thought back on Wammy's house, ice, and poles he suspected would taste sweet. Of course, this would raise questions as to why he would put in an attraction that so obviously caused him pain to think about, but again, the theory of floor 12 + logic and reasoning equals EPIC IMPLOSION comes into play here. Oh, did I mention that if logic and reason invade floor 12 by some supernatural means, said EPIC IMPLOSION will occur? Yeah. It will.
As for Light… While he was good at most sports, he too had a bad childhood experience with ice, ice skating in particular. I think it's a rather nice time for a flashback to occur, don't you? If you don't, you probably watch too much Naruto abridged. Regardless, Light froze, and in his inner mind theater, a bad memory started to play.
Laighto's Inner Mind Theater Presents…
Bad Childhood Memory #3
It was a nice, cold day, perfect for ice skating. As such, Light (age 12) had decided to go to the ice rink and further his scope of athletic abilities. Upon trying it, he found he was rather good, and he enjoyed skating so much that he went back the next day. And the next. And the next. And the… Well, you get it.
By this time, he had studied figure skaters thoroughly, and he wanted to be just like who was then his idol: Michelle Kwan. After much begging (and enduring questionable looks), he managed to have his mother make him an outfit exactly like the ones Michelle wore. Sparkly, skin-tight, aerodynamic… Perfect!
He happily strode onto the ice in his brand new outfit. He skated away, but soon he became aware people were staring at him. More so than usual, of course, because which hopeful schoolgirl wouldn't stare at the 'love of her life' as he skated gracefully, skin illuminated by the white of the ice, looking more angelic than ever? A blind girl. That was who. Though he didn't know any.
He stared out at the crowd of people who weren't skating, along with the people who were skating and passed him. Why were they giggling..? Suddenly, he heard a voice from the crowd. A male voice.
"Nice outfit, Yagami-chan!" the voice taunted, causing more people to start laughing louder.
What idiots. Didn't they appreciate an ice god when they saw one? Obviously not, as the taunts and the laughing only got louder.
"Where'd you get that, Girls 'r' Us?"
"Does your mom dress you?"
"You look just like a swan!"
Though he did hear a splooch that almost sounded like a nosebleed…
Somewhere in the midst of all the laughing, that was.
Light skated off of the ice, mortified, and never showed his face there again.
It was then that he realized he wanted to be a cop when he grew up. Then he would toss all the kids that laughed at him in prison. Ingenious, no? He certainly thought so.
FIN
"Mommy! Make them stop! Wahhhh!" the present-time Light said, yanking his hands up to his eyes and rubbing away his anime tears.
"Um… Light? Are you okay?" Misa asked, a bit creeped out.
"What? Oh, uh… Yeah," Light said, sniffling and hiding his shame. "On second thought, Misa… Can I pick?"
"Sure…" Misa said, not wanting Light to have another episode.
L let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. Safe. For now, at least. He tugged lightly on the handcuffs, urging Light to move. Though it was also a subtle gesture towards the bakery…
"Ryuuzaki, stop that. You'll get cake afterwards. Look, can we just… see a movie?" Light said, tugging the handcuffs in the opposite direction.
L still looked rather dejected, but he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked in the direction of the theater. So close… He had been so close…
"That sounds fine to me," Misa said, walking alongside L and Light. "What do you have playing here, anyway? Stuff in theaters, or..?"
"All right little strawberry… Lay right next to big Mr. Cake. He'll take care of you…" L said softly, before Misa's comment snapped him back to reality. "Oh, right! Uh… You can just look when we get there, all right?"
Several rather uneventful seconds later…
"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… It figures," Light said, rolling his eyes at the first movie listed on the board of available ones.
L whimpered in response.
"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory…" An anime sweatdrop.
"You have to have the classic as well," L said with a shrug.
"Whatever. Little Orphan Annie?"
"It brings back memories…" L mused.
"I don't wanna know. Nanny McPhee?"
"She reminds me slightly of myself. I often find myself dealing with bratty kids. I don't mean you, Misa, stop glaring."
"Nancy Drew. Don't tell me. She reminds you of yourself, right?"
"Don't be silly, Light-kun, I'd never wear such an ugly skirt," L said, causing Light to cringe at the mental image of L wearing a skirt. Hey, he hadn't denied he'd wear a skirt he found attractive, had he? Shaking the thoughts from his head, Light continued on.
"It figures you'd have so many Sherlock Holmes movies."
"And why is that?" L asked, looking truly curious.
"You're… You're serious?"
"…"
"…Nevermind. The last one here is… Oh, for the love of god, Ryuuzaki, do you ever think of anything besides cake, children, and cases?"
"I don't see what the big deal is. It's a great movie," L said.
"I didn't know you liked that kind of movie…" Misa said with an eyebrow raised, staring at the last film listed.
American Pie.
TBC…
Well, hoped you liked the first chapter of my cracktacular mini-series! This started out as just a freewriting exercise, and it grew into something I'd like to continue. At least until the date is over. But, in any case, I finished this chapter a bit early because of my brain's death, it was meant to be an even more cracktacular oneshot. Hope you like it, though!