Hogwarts School for Teens and their Problems--Chapter One
He sat there, in a stall, wondering why he had to have prank obsessive brothers. No one else did, just him. Why did he have to be the guinea pig for so many of there not-yet-safely tested pranks? What had he done in his past life to deserve this?!
While he was wallowing in this self-pity, he heard the bathroom door open. "Oh crap" was the very first thought in his mind. Next was, "Why must I go into the girls bathroom every time this happens" The third and final thought was, "May be she's hot"
At this thought, he immediately unlocked the stall door, and stuck the top of his specked nose out the door.
"Oh My God!!! There is a humongous rat in the girls bathroom help!!" were the words that came out of the girl's mouth, who was standing over a sink that held something that looked suspiciously like the lunch the red headed male had just eaten.
Wow, she is hot. Thought the person currently occupying the stall. Then he asked bluntly, "Are you bulimic?"
The girl stared down at the sink, and mumbled, "Yes," then in a much clearer voice said, "and if you dare tell anyone, I won't be your girlfriend."
The red head, astounded at his luck, just nodded dumbly with a huge smile on his face. "What's your name again?"
"I'm Genevieve, and I know your name, its Ron Weasly," stated, looking at the speckled face that had a rather sickening smile on it.
"Wow, how'd you know that? I only just got here." Ron said with just a tint of admiration, and no sign of taking the smile off his face.
"Oh, I just got the list of all the boys in this school from Professor Snape, it wasn't hard, I just performed a few...services for him," said Genevieve, none to modestly.
"Cool, you must be like...really good, I ran into him, and he hated me instantly. I knew it, 'cause I get looks like that all the time from my older brother, hey, aren't we suppose to be, like, doing couple things!" were the words that came from Ron's eager, and still smiling, mouth.
The words, "Hold on, just let me finish," and a wink and Genevieve was off, finishing her business over the sink.
The blond youth looked around cautiously, of course no one was there, no one would dare go near his wall; it was just a precaution.
Then from a different male's lips slipped the sultry words, "hey, have you missed me? I've missed you, more than you can imagine."
Then, rather spontaneously and in jerks, the youth started to molest the wall.
When this had been going on for a while, never letting up, a screech echoed down the hall:
"DRACO MALFOY, YOU STOP TRYING TO ATTACK THAT WALL!!! I'VE TOLD YOU MORE THAN ONCE, IT DOESN'T LIKE YOU!!!" yelled the person, now walking slowly towards Draco, with a murderous look on her face, and her fingers twitching. She wore a gray and "red" plaid hat on top of blond hair, a tee shirt, and pants. On her shirt was a nametag that stated simply, "I am Headmistress/psychiatrist Leah, master of this school. DON'T TOUCH ME."
"I-I'm sooo sorry Headmistress Leah, but the wall, it CALLED to me. I couldn't resist. It missed me. You wouldn't understand about..." Draco realized he had said too much.
"Oh what wouldn't I understand, I am a psychiatrist after all. If it is a problem of yours we can work it out together. You are under my command Draco, so you better keep me happy. Now what don't I understand!" as all of this was being said, the look on the Headmistress's face seemed to become almost nice. This, as Draco is going to find out, is really, Really, REALLY bad. It usually means that you are going to get hurt.
As if on cue, Draco did exactly the wrong thing, and said what he was about to say, "you have no relationship experiences."
Then, a hand came out and grabbed Malfoy around the neck, "Are you really sure about that?" said Leah, in a menacing voice. A tremendous amount of pain came upon Draco as soon as this was said. "You will be getting no more privileges Mr. Malfoy, and I will have Filch knock down this wall. And for your detention, you will help him," Leah's face had become joyful and happy.
"But that's not fair, you can't do that," and a thousand other excuses came pouring out of Draco's mouth.
"Ah, that's where you're wrong. Rule number one is 'if you upset headmistress, said headmistress gets to inflict any punishments necessary.' Filch will see you tonight. Five o'clock, right here." responded Leah in shear pleasure. "Now get going, you'll miss class, or whatever else you wall molesting people do."
Draco took off crying, in the direction of the girls bathroom while a happy Leah, smiled and skipped all the way to her office thinking I love this power to tell off students' problems!
The red headed female came bursting into Headmistress/psychiatrist Leah's office, ran up to the receptionist's desk, where she was met with the backside of a mirror.
"Uh...hello, could you tell me where the Headmistress is?" asked the redhead.
"Don't you think I'm gorgeous, I do, I just can't stop looking at this perfect face," came the reply from behind the mirror.
"Sure... but I need the headmistress now because a crazy girl with blue hair bit my hand off and the hospital wing is closed. Can you get her for me so I can get back to snogging my boyfriends."
"Ewe...why would I want to talk to that person, she doesn't say I'm pretty, but you understand, you should be my boss, you think I'm pretty."
Just then, a door burst open and in it was the headmistress herself. "Allie, stop looking in that mirror and do your job, our friends from grade school are coming to do something or other, do you want them to think that you are a narcissist?" she asked, and for added measure, gave her a smack on the head, "I guess Dory was right all along, you were going to turn into a narcissist."
"Oh, Leah, I'm not talking to you because you don't think I'm pretty," huffed Allie.
"Whatever," then, as if noticing the redhead for the first time, "Whoa, who are you and what do you want!"
"My name is Ginny, I go to this school, and a girl with blue hair just bit my finger so hard it drew blood, and the hospital is closed so I came here to get help, so I can go back to snogging my boyfriends!" said Ginny in rather fast one breath.
"Your mom got her finger bit!" said Leah, quietly.
"What...okay..."
"Nothing, listen, that girl is, I believe, Hermione Granger, she is Emo, or Goth or something and has an obsession with beanie babies, did you touch hers?"
"Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali-a-babua!" Exclaimed a girl with middle length blond hair and blue gray eyes who just walked in through the door Ginny did while wearing a shirt that said, "I forgot where I got this tee" and had a picture of Dory from Finding Nemo on it. A somewhat less hyper girl with reddish shoulder length hair and wearing a shirt that said AFI on it and was holding onto a man, who looked like he'd heard that song enough, followed her.
Then the girl who was singing went up to Leah and flicked the bill of Leah's hat, "Bwahaha! I win" she yelled then ran away.
"Leah, guess what, I FINALLY GOT MARRIED TO DAVEY HAVOK!!!!" screamed the ecstatic girl with towing the man behind her.
"Oh my gosh, Maggie...I don't even want to know how that happened," said Leah smacking her head.
The girl who had flicked Leah's hat came up behind Allie, and called, "Jabbers!!" poked Allie in the side, then ran away again.
"Okay, who gave Dory chocolate?" said Leah in the tone of the only sane person in the room.
"Davey and Dory have a truce, as if he gives her candy, she won't drive him insane." stated Maggie, "it's not really working though..."
"Are you insane!!" Leah yelled at Davey, as Dory came up to her and gave her a big hug, jumped back and yelled, "I'm a piggy!" and tweeting.
"No, only concerned with my state of mind, it could be a lot worse, she could be bugging me as much as you or Allie, but as you can see, she is staying out of my personal bubble, as she so calls it."
"I know how to make her stop!" said Maggie, excitedly, and promptly smacked Dory upside the head.
"Oww... that hurt," Dory moaned.
"Good."
"I'm sooo beautiful, aren't I Dory, Ginny thinks so." Allie said, rather dreamily.
"What, who's Ginny, oh you!" Dory said, finally noticing Ginny, "harhar, Ginny sounds like Gin, har! That's funny, hey Leah, I saw a person molesting a wall earlier, it was pretty funny, what's this school again?"
"Hogwarts School For Teenagers and There Problems, and that boy's name is Draco, he's not very smart. So Maggie, what are you going to do here again?"
"Well, I was going to make a movie, and Dory here is going to make the pictures, okay, it'll be like a documentary, only cooler, and random-er." exclaimed Maggie excitedly, "oh, and Davey's band needs a place to crash for a while, so I suggested that the could come here."
"Umm... am I going to regret saying okay?"
"No!"
"Okay?"
"Yeah!!! Davey go set up your tools for really loud music that will probably not allow anyone to think. Now!"
"Whatever..."
"Wait. No you can't play! School is a place for children to think!! Not have their ears busted."
"Aww...come on Leah! They're really good, and if you ask nicely and don't do anything stupid or obnoxious or crazy or anything to screw them up, they might play a song for you at the end, I already know what I want them to play!" said Dory, entering the conversation.
"Another truce," Leah asked, more like stated.
"Yup, they really do have a lot of them, it's pretty funny actually, although it can't be as worse as last time..." started Maggie, ending with some giggles.
"Oh God, what song this time!" said Davey, like he was talking to a two year old.
"I want you to play and sing Vanessa Hudgens, Come Back to Me!" said Dory between laughs.
"Oh my God, that is worse than last time," laughed Maggie while Davey groaned and muttered, "Why me?!?!"
"Why, what was last time," asked Leah, not sure she wanted to know.
"Shakira, Hips don't Lie"
"harharhar...Davey, you should have realized what you got yourself into."
"It's this, or total destruction of who knows what equipment."
"Point."
Now, until this point, Ginny was waiting patiently, but she was a redhead, and therefore had a temper...
"HEADMISTRESSES FRIENDS GET OUT NOW I WAS HERE FIRST AND WILL PROBABLY DIE BECAUSE OF BLOOD LOSS!!!" shouted Ginny.
"I'm sorry, I have a problem with authority," said Dory.
"I'm the absolutely gorgeous secretary so I live here. Don't you think I'm beautiful?"
"NO!" was from Maggie.
"Yeah...I gotta go set up the instruments, Maggie, argue with Leah and keep Dory away from...well everything really, not that I'd care if she died, but you would make me go to her stupid funeral and not celebrate," came the list from Davey Havoc.
"Whatever, I just need headmistress Leah, I don't care what you people do."
"Kay, Maggie, Davey can set up his instruments and have a concert or something, but please try to keep it quiet, or you will be evicted. Dory, Maggie, I'll give you a tour in a second, but first comes Ginny. Dory don't touch anything." Leah said.
"Fine!"
"Good, Ginny let's see that finger, don't worry, Hermione has rabies shots."
"Finally! Headmistress, you have weird friends," stated Ginny, rather bluntly.
"Yes, but someone has to supervise them, otherwise who knows what."
Authoresses Note:
Dory-- Hola, and welcome to my reign of terror!! Hope you all have a wonderful time. Some of this won't really make sense to some people, but it's still funny. Genevieve is from Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses for those of you who don't know. She's the main, pink, person played by Barbie herself. OH YEAH! Go BATTDP. It's my favorite movie ever!! But I think I might like Bratz Fashion Pixies more, it just depends I guess. Yeah, I know you people are all jealous of my awesome movie picking skills…
PS: this is a friend of the owner of the account…not the actually owner. Just so you know
PPS: For those of you unlucky people who don't know about AFI, it's a band, and Davey Havok is the lead singer…yeah, just so you know, my friend is obsessed with them currently…
Maggie-- I'm pretty sure this is the most random fanfiction you have ever read in your whole life. This fic took lots of plotting, giggles, a couple hyperactive weirdos, and that will give your this fanfiction. I really don't know what else to say except review...
OHOHOH Dory spelled Davey Havok wrong...before she spelled it "Havoc" just thought I should point that out...