Chapter 1

When I was younger I always hung out with the older boys in my neighbourhood. Since the only girls on our block were either too old or too young I decided to play with my brother and his friends. They always included me in everything. Ever since then, I've been in my brother's crowd of people.

My brother, Ian, has been my best friend since the day I was born. There have been three of us throughout everything. Some of our friends left and stopped talking to us. Ian, Brock and me have stayed in the same neighbourhood, on the same street all our lives.

Brock and Ian used to pick on me because I'm three years younger. They grew out of it with time. When I turned thirteen they got protective. If a boy would so much as look at me they'd get defensive. So, now that I'm seventeen, things have progressively gotten worse.

I can't count how many fights there have been on my behalf. I've never really understood why Brock looks out for me. I suppose it's because I'm his best friend's baby sister. That and he watched me grow up from the age of three. Both Brock and Ian were waiting for me to finish getting ready for our gig.

"Jay come on you look fine." Ian said, poking his head around the corner. I was still putting on my black eyeliner and had yet to use mascara.

"Ian, I haven't even finished my makeup yet. I'll let you know when I'm done." At this he rolled his eyes, shook his head and pulled away from the door. My mid-back length blond hair hung over one eye and around my shoulders.

My black eye makeup was taking longer than it usually would to put on. I'd had to scrub my face several times in order to get it right. My black batman t-shirt had been a last resort as I couldn't find anything plain. The skintight black jeans covering my legs clung to me, making it nearly impossible to move.

I hurried as fast as I could and then ran down the hallway to my bedroom. I only found one of my converses. I ripped through a pile of dirty clothes, coming up with nothing. Then I looked under my bed. Score. I quickly put them on and raced down the hallway.

"Done." I announced, hopping as I stopped in Ian's doorframe.

"Christ it took you long enough." Ian said, annoyance apparent in his tone.

"Ok we need to go or we're going to be late." Brock said, brushing past me, his hand touching mine. My heart fluttered slightly and I couldn't figure out why. I shook it off and slugged Ian in the arm.

"Jerk let's go." I walked towards the stairs and down the fluffy carpet. I ran out the front door and flung myself in the passenger's seat. We still had to pick up Leon and Riley. Riley played bass and Leon was acoustic guitar. Brock was on drums and played like a madman. I'd claimed the position of lead singer when we first started the band and Ian played electric guitar.

Tone Deaf had started when I was in seventh grade and had stayed together. Now, I was graduating in seven months. We'd all been friends for so long we considered each other family.

Ian came storming out to the van and opened the back door. I loved all of the boys but I hated sitting in the back with them. They were loud and it got cramped back there.

"I really hate it when you get to sit up front. I'm older. It's not fair." He said, sounding like a pouting child.

"Ian, you know how I am about the boys. I love them all but I don't want to be crammed in a back seat with them." I buckled myself in and looked over at Brock. I caught his smile as he pulled the van out of the driveway. I always liked Brock better when he smiled. His teeth were so white and his smile was so beautiful.

I watched him as we drove to Leon's house. I'd been doing this a lot lately. Just looking at him when I knew he wasn't paying attention. It always struck me how gorgeous he was. Tall and muscular, he stood at a good 6'4. His clear blue eyes entranced me.

We pulled up in front of Leon's house and Ian went to get the other two band members. I reached over and ruffled Brock's shaggy black hair. I knew he hated when I did it but I couldn't help it. In retaliation he poked me in the side. I moved slightly and our faces were right next to each other.

I held my breath. Brock leaned in and brushed his lips across mine. My eyes widened and I just blinked at him. He seemed just as surprised as me. He leaned back against his seat and I chewed on my pinkie nail. We were silent as we waited for the rest of the band to join us.

Leon wrenched the back door open and pulled himself inside. Ian came after him and finally Riley. Leon and Ian were arguing about something as always.

"Hey to you too Leo." I turned slightly so I could look at him. Riley grinned and Leon stopped talking.

"Hey Jaya. How's it going?" He responded before resuming his argument, "All I'm saying is…" I tuned him out and turned to look out the windshield. Brock's lips on mine stuck in my mind. When he'd kissed me my heart started to pound so hard I thought it was going to jump out of my chest.

Obviously, I've kissed guys before. None had gotten that reaction out of me. I didn't know what to think. I'd always just seen him as Brock. Many of my friends had told me how attractive he was. I responded that I wasn't blind. I just never saw Brock as the boyfriend type. Not for me.

I was sure that he'd always thought of me as Ian's little sister, nothing more. Why would he have kissed me then, because I was there? If so then he could have done it a long time ago. So what had prompted him to do it?

We arrived at the club we were playing at, with only a few minutes to set up; I'd forgotten the name of the club, as there'd been so many gigs in the past week. Ian introduced us, as he always did, and we started the first set. I closed my eyes and let the music wash over me as I sang. I loved the feeling that it gave me, freedom.

My mother hated the fact that Ian and me were in a band. Dad was ok with it. As long as we were staying out of trouble everything was fine. We ended with an old song from the eighties. I walked off stage and over towards the bar. A girl from school waved at me and I just looked at her.

"What do you want?" Ian asked, waving towards the bar.

"Uh…Miller Light." I looked around for a good seat and found one right next to the stage. I plopped down in the chair and felt someone do the same next to me. Brock smiled when I looked over at him.

"JAYA FREAKING EVANS!" A girl called me and I turned toward the voice. My three closest girl friends from school were making their way over to where we sat. Rina led the way, closely followed by her twin sister Renee. My best friend Annabel brought up the rear.

"Hey guys." I greeted them when they reached us. Rina dramatically dropped into the chair across from me. Renee took the one at the end of the booth. Annabel sat on my other side. Leon scooted in next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, showing the guys who were staring who she was with. Riley leaned down and kissed Rina on the head. She stood up and he sat in her chair. She gracefully flung herself into his lap.

Ian walked over carrying five beers. I took my Miller and waited to see where Ian would sit. Renee and him had something going on, I just couldn't figure out what exactly it was. He sat next to her, reached over and grabbed her hand.

"You guys sound pretty good tonight." Rina said. "Accept you, but you always suck so it's ok." She told Riley, with a huge smile on her face. He gave her a half smile and tickled her. I moved towards Brock a bit to give Anna and Leo some room and bumped his hand. Before I could pull away his fingers were laced with mine. I couldn't look at our hands for fear of giving something away but I was sure that the dumbfounded expression on my face had already done as much.

"Jay are you ok?" Anna asked. I shot a quick look down and she followed my eyes. Her own hazel eyes widened in shock and her jaw dropped slightly. I kicked her leg under the table and she shook her head to get her thoughts under control.

"Yeah, just a headache." I lied stupidly. I'd never been a good liar, it just didn't suit me. No one said anything about it, they probably thought I was covering for cramps. Brock's thumb rubbed small circles on the back of my hand. I sipped from my miller and tried to remain calm.

"You've got five minutes." The manager made the announcement and left. I swallowed the remainder of my beer and slid out of the booth after Anna. She smiled knowingly at me and Brock as we made our way past her. The second set went quickly and we ended at 11:17. I walked off the stage, sweaty and tired. The boys gathered their equipment as I laid across the bench.

"Jay, you ok?" I looked up, squinting against the stage lights. Brock stared down at me, concerned. I nodded and mumbled that I was tired. Ten minutes later I felt myself being lifted off the bench. I breathed in and knew it was Brock. He was the only guy that could smell that good.

"Where're we going?" I mumbled into his neck, wrapping my arms around him.

"Home." Brock had lived with us since I was in the tenth grade. His parents had gone through a messy divorce and, since he was 18, he opted to leave. My parents welcomed him with open arms.

"Mmk." I snuggled closer and was out in less than fifteen seconds. I woke up when he lifted me out of the van.

"Brock?" I was wide awake now, being this close to him was making my head spin.

"What?" He whispered into my hair.

"Where's Ian?"

"He already went inside, why?" I tilted my face up and, mustering all of my courage, touched his cheek. He stopped walking and looked down.

"Why'd you kiss me…before I mean?" I chewed on my lip waiting for his answer.

"For the same reason you kissed me back." Then his lips were on mine. The kiss started out innocent enough, until I opened my mouth under his. He set me down on the top step and I wound my arms around his neck. He had his arms wrapped tightly around my waist and they tightened when I pulled his lower lip between my teeth.

"Shit." His breathing was ragged as he leaned his forehead against mine. Making a decision, I threaded my fingers through his hair and pulled his lips back to mine.

"Stay with me tonight." I said into his mouth. He pulled away a little.

"Your brother would kill me." He whispered back.

"No he won't. It'll be fine. Mom and dad are out of town anyways. We can stay in my room. It's farther away from Ian's room." He stared into my eyes before lifting me back up. His lips never left mine as he carried me up the stairs. He fumbled with the door handle and in the end I had to push it open.

He set me down so I was kneeling on my bed. I reached up and pulled his black t-shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor next to him. I'd seen him with his shirt off too many times to count but tonight was different. I'd never noticed how every muscle seemed to ripple with just a simple movement. As he slid his hands under my shirt I watched his arms and chest.

My shirt met his on the floor and he pulled me against him. I let out a small gasp as skin touched skin. Then I pushed my lips to his roughly. My fingers knotted in his hair and we fell back together on my bed. He trailed his hand up my side, causing me to squirm. It took him all of five seconds to undo my bra and fling it down with the rest of our clothing.

I ran my hands up and down the smooth, warm skin of his back and kissed the space between his neck and shoulder. He placed kisses along my jaw line, then down my neck and finally between my breasts. He ran his tongue slowly over one nipple and I sighed. Then he used his teeth and I thought I'd go out of my mind.

He kissed a path down the flat of my stomach and along the line of my jeans. He undid my jeans and pulled them off, over my legs and onto the floor. His soon joined mine.

I closed my eyes as he lay on top of me, with no clothes on. I wasn't a virgin, he knew this. But this was better than anything I'd ever experienced, just laying with him. For a minute we just looked at each other.

"Why are we doing this? I mean, I know why I am. But why are you?" I blurted out, hoping it was too dark for him to see me blush. He pushed my hair back from my face with his big hands and kissed my forehead.

"Because Jaya. I…I mean…c'mon. You know why." He kissed the tip of my nose and both of my cheeks.

"No, I really don't. Brock, I've always just been Ian's little sister to you. Why the sudden change?" He looked incredulous.

"Are you kidding me? Jaya, I've loved you since you were fifteen. I was eighteen. Your parents, and Ian, would have killed me. You've ALWAYS been so much more than Ian's little sister. You're my everything Jay." My eyes filled with tears as I took in every word he said. He was serious, I could tell from the look in his gorgeous blue eyes. I touched his cheek and pushed my lips against his.

I wrapped my arms tightly around him, holding him to me wondering if I could ever let him go. Our lips didn't part as he moved slightly and ran a hand down the length of my body. I gasped when I realized where his hand was headed.

"Brock." Was all I said when his hand reached it's destination. I yanked on his hair. Hard. He looked down at me and I wiggled my way under him again. The look I gave him was pleading and he took the hint.

Slowly he eased himself inside me. I dug my toes into his legs at the sweet torment and finally pushed my hips against his, taking him completely. He closed his eyes and buried his face in my neck. He leaned up and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. Then he started moving. He went slow at first and then began to go faster. I dug my nails deep into his shoulder and closed my eyes as he slammed into me again and again. I felt myself nearing my climax and my breathing started coming faster.

Our lips were open and touching. I could feel his breath against my lips as I finally found my orgasm. He collapsed on top of me and I kissed his neck. His hands held mine over my head, our fingers laced together.

He leaned back up and looked into my eyes. I leaned up and kissed his lips lightly. My heart fluttered as I saw the love concealed in those blue eyes.

"I love you too Brock." I said softly, almost a whisper. His lips twitched into a smile and he kissed my collar bone.

"I know."