This is a semi-autobiographic fic. I shamelessly used Genesis as a convoy for my thoughts, and adapted his story to bring them out in his voice.
This is AU, for it imagines that things evolved a bit differently than canon, but it tries not to outright contradict it. It also goes further: the story goes on far beyond the events in Dirge of Cerberus, as you'll see in later chapters. Hope that chapters 6 and 7 are clear enough for the readers to understand how I imagined the story going on. However, the focus is little on the plot and more about the characters and their growth.
Also, this is pure and simple SephirothxGenesis. Hopefully, it doesn't become too cheesy and I managed to keep them a bit IC. Don't like, don't read.
Disclaimer: as if you needed to know I do not own this masterpiece that is FFVII...
PROLOGUE – On Happiness
Vincent Valentine enters the silent, empty room, and his keen eyes travel past the double bed occupying its center, to settle on the desk that sits near the large window. The desk is surprisingly clear, apart from a blue ink pen and a little leather-bound book.
The scent of the late occupants of the room is still strong, and Vincent's enhanced nostrils cannot help but drink it in, causing him to stagger for a moment under the wave of memories that threatens to wash over him.
The ex-Turk circles the wide bed to stand in front of the desk, and reaches for the book. The cover is just a simple piece of worn out red leather, that constant use had caused to fade to a more brownish tint. There is nothing written upon it, and it takes Vincent quite some time to finally win his reticence and open it at the page that its late owner has left marked.
As Vincent already suspected, this is not yet another copy of Loveless, but Genesis Rhapsodos's personal notebook. The last entry, written in a neat and yet elegant handwriting, is dated March 14, no more than a week prior, and Vincent, pulled by an irresistible curiosity and the need to fill in the void that once again has taken over his heart, sits at the desk and begins reading.
Happiness. Happiness is a fleeting notion, although for a simple mind it may appear clear enough. My mind, though, is far from simple, and it took me quite some time to figure out something about happiness.
Happiness is a matter of middle ground, a fleeting balance between two excesses. In medio stat virtus, some philosopher whose name I had long since forgotten stated once. In medio stat felicitas, I'd say myself.
It's kinda like what happens with drinking. And I can positively say, without fear of contradiction, that I know something about drinking. Drinking to really enjoy your drink and your evening is a rare art of walking the incredibly fine line between one glass too little and one sip too much. Forego that one last glass, and it's like you drank nothing, except for the fact that your liver still has to process all the alcohol you did ingest. But swallow that one sip that exceeds your capacity to resist alcohol, and your night is going to be dedicated to praying to the porcelain God, as Angeal put it once (in more mundane terms, you're going to puke your insides out while holding on to the toilet for dear life). But if you manage to stay in the middle (and the success of this undertaking often eludes even the greatest masters of the art of drinking), well, if you succeed, you start to feel lightheaded, the world shines brighter around you, and your worries melt down like snow under the spring sun.
But back to the point. Happiness. Happiness is like drinking. Happiness is finding a delicate balance between your dreams and what life has gifted upon you, it's walking the fine line between your aspirations and the constraints and hardships that sooner or later will be placed upon your shoulders, the weight of your everyday worries, of your insecurities, of your mistakes.
Happiness is not the excess of drinking away your nights in a self-induced frenzy to forget everything and convince yourself you are worth something. Neither happiness is the opposite excess of letting Fate spit to your face without putting up some fight.
Happiness is a notion of peace. A peace that follows a hard battle against life, but even more so against yourself.
Happiness is knowing that even after all the trials you faced and are yet going to face, there is still something worth living for, something worth fighting for.
Happiness is knowing you're not perfect and still you are good enough for someone to love you as you are. Happiness is knowing that you love this someone as much as this someone loves you.
It took me quite some time to figure out something about happiness. It took me Sephiroth.