A/N this is my entry into the bad fanfic competition.

Ruminations on a Lost Love

Aaron Hotchner once said, 'Damn it ouch!'

Hotch ran his fingers through his hair on the right side of his head. Things had not been the same since that fateful day when he was cleaning his gun and it went off, removing half his brain. All vital organs were missed fortunately, but the fan mail had stopped and Reid didn't send him flowers any more. He looked out over the bull pen with his remaining eye. He knew Morgan wanted his job, and seemed to think that only having half a head disqualified him from being the cool silent leader.

Morgan was sharpening Penelope's pencils, and every now and again caught his finger in the sharpener. And he thought he had it in him to run the team. Morgan punched the desk.

'Son of a bitch!' he yelled as arterial spray from his finger shot across the bull pen.

JJ was coming out of her office and slipped on some blood. She fell over the hand rail and broke her neck.

Ahh well.......

'Ha!' said Hotch. That was in fact the only thing he could say since he destroyed the speech centre of his brain. He was just jealous that he had more hair on his half a head that Morgan had on his entire one. So sad.

He could still write well enough. And that was all that was needed. Or he would be able to write if both arms hadn't been amputated in a freak car bomb accident. David Rossi watched his back and put him right when he strayed.

Ha!' he said again.

The roses on the table were dying now. They were the last ones that Sweet Reid had sent, dropping shrivelled petals onto his desk. He needed to speak to Reid.

He left his office and stumbled down the steps. The loss of a leg in a drive by knife attack made negotiating the steps rather more difficult than it used to be but .... hey.... Hotch was tall dark and handsome, and that was enough for any team leader.

'Bare left.' Dave said, watching his back from the walkway.

he faced off Reid at his desk.

'Ha!'

'It's not funny, Aaron.' Reid said, hazel eyes tearful and wide. 'Touching you makes me vomit.'

Sadly, Hotch hopped back to his office, trying to come to terms with losing the love of his life and Reid as well.

The End