Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction.
Warnings: Possible game spoilers; miscellaneous character focus; slightly psychotic mindset; possible inconsistencies and mistakes; repetition as a writing device.
A/N: Sayuri-centric piece. Drabble/writing practice. Uh, I don't really have much else to say about this one. I quite like how it turned out, though, so yeah. And apologies if there are any spelling/grammatical errors I managed to miss.
(Written and posted at livejournal back in July.)
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Waking in Dreams (days in ruins)
the world is grey in her eyes
She smiled; just a little tugging at the corner of her lips, but there was no laughter in those eyes. An almost automatic reaction, as the person in front of her continued to talk – round and round in circles they go, her mind crooned – and she knew it would be more polite to listen and actually respond. But she couldn't, her mind would no longer take it, and it was rare for anyone to wish to speak to her at all anyway; but no, no, this was about schoolwork, and they wanted her help.
Yes, she could help, and that was one of the few reasons for her to be approached. Because they were all washed-out, and black was tugging at the corners of her eyes. The world before her was being eaten away, slowly slowly slowly. And she seemed to be the only one able to see it.
Quiet amusement at the thought, knew she should have been a little more concerned, yet unable to find the energy to do so. The once bright world was now faded and going, going, gone, but not quite yet, a little longer. She would have to wait a little longer.
perhaps what she sees is a dream, washed out and gone; old memories that no longer have a purpose and need to go away because they are unpleasant and unnecessary and no one wants it anymore
Her dreams were brighter, more beautiful and peace truly existed there. No hatred, no judging; none of that mattered in those few blessed moments as she wandered in a warmth she hadn't even realised she had lost. And she loved it, craved it, needed it as time went on.
But it was fleeting, always was, and she would then be greeted by washed-out colours, faded walls, and people who didn't seem to be anything more than shadows and memories she had once discarded.
That beautiful world was all she could look forward to.
had there been a before? when she had been part of a group and they laughed and joked and smiled smiled smiled – but so fake, such false happiness that was fleeting – and school was challenging and people were amazing to watch and- no, it was impossible. such a time could never exist, because there is no colour before her
Day after day, only night brought peace to her mind. Conflicting thoughts and emotions that tore at her no longer seemed important and she liked that. It was simpler, cleaner, and it never hurt her.
She stared down at the knife in her hand; a small smile, still no laughter in those eyes that saw nothing, nothing, and there was no happiness in the world she was a part of. She believed that, well and truly, and there was no mistaking it. Days had passed and nothing had changed.
The black was still creeping in, the world continued to be a dull blur. People were so fake (fools) and she would no longer be deceived. She would not allow it to continue on as it were.
The knife in her hand was light, and a small part of her wondered - worried, perhaps - that she should have been feeling more. But the black world before her was calling, and time continued to slip away, to the hours in which darkness would fall and colour returned.
She had a small chore that had to be completed; even if it proved to be unsuccessful, at the least, perhaps she could return some colour to the small, sad existence they lived in. There was nothing left for her to lose, after all.
the madness threatens to consume her, and she finds it doesn't seem to matter so much
so she smiles