A/N: I was sitting around the other day going, "Y'know, lemons are practically all I roleplay, so why is it that I've never been able to finish writing one?" It was kind of sad because I really like playing them and really like reading them, and I know other people really like reading them, too. It's also a great opportunity for me to spread my idea of how their sexual relationship works. So you know, a friend gives me this song by Lady GaGa and BAM. Smutfic idea. Implants itself in my brain and I decide it has to be done. Usually I'm into the more fluffy…or at least loving and not so dysfunctional smut, but beggars can't be choosers, right? At least I got it done. This kind of stuff is hot anyway. I hope you all can enjoy it and stuff n__n I'm excited about getting it up. Just in time for Thanksgiving! Kind of!
Warning: EXPLICIT GAY SEX. I'M SERIOUS, DUDES. IT'S EXPLICIT. I've done worse but. Really. It's explicit enough that you all need to be told: IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ALL THE WARNING BEFORE THIS, PLEASE DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF THING. It's slightly but not that rough. LuluSuza and SuzaLulu (yes both. I like it that way). Also, spoilers up until R2 episode 17-ish.
Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass, nor do I own the highly addictive song "Bad Romance" by Lady GaGa.
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Bad Romance
Relationships were never simple, but some could get extremely complicated.
There was extremely complicated, and then there was the relationship of two eighteen year old boys.
Having met when they were ten, they had known each other for a long time. At first they had fought and hated each other, but came to be the closest friends until they were separated some odd months later. Seven years after, they met up in odd circumstances, finding themselves on opposite sides of a battleground with the same goal in mind.
If things had travelled a normal course, they might have eventually become comrades. As it was, they managed to fall in love.
They had a very special and intimate relationship, so it wasn't surprising that they might come to practice that sort of intimacy eventually. There was comfort they could find in one another that didn't exist anywhere else in the world.
And then things became complicated.
There was death. There was anger. There was betrayal. There was miscommunication the likes of which were obscenely ironic.
What they had was broken and twisted into some sick shadow of its former self, caught somewhere in the midst of love, hate, and the strong desire for revenge. And yet, when it came down to it, they couldn't simply let go. Despite everything, a year later…
The distance between them was a physical representation of the chasm that had opened mentally and emotionally. They were separated. The place was the same as before, the shrine they had met at eight years ago, but it seemed a lifetime had passed. So much had changed in those eight years. They tried to cling to the relationship they had maintained at one point, one that was fragile at best, and now the crippled and horrific thing it had turned into was sickening and addictive to the both of them.
Lelouch justified it as a punishment. At the same time he craved it…he needed it. It was a disgusting mix of masochism, sadism, and pathetic human desire. Teenage hormones, which had only kicked in after he had experimented with Suzaku, mandated that his life would be a living hell without the physical intimacy. Thanks to his insecurity and loneliness, he wanted to pretend that there was love between them, that they were in a relationship and loving each other. At the same time there was a strong aspect of hate, but a mutual love and mutual hate that balanced out into an odd half-truce when they weren't on the battlefield.
Suzaku had always suspected that Lelouch was Zero again, but they were standing in front of each other now as said male made the confession aloud…for the sake of his sister.
All of those memories…this entire time they had both known exactly what was going on.
Both of them were quiet, unmoving, with determined and hardened looks. They were frustrated with each other, annoyed at each other, silently demanding answers, and to anyone else it might have seemed like they were very pissed off at each other.
While there was obviously some of that, the hidden emotion others could not decipher was desire.
They were like slaves to the addiction they had formed. Suzaku could have shot and killed Lelouch many times, he could have given the order to kill him, he could even have let him fall to his death. And yet when it came to Lelouch it was like any control he had over his body disappeared. All the times he could have done away with him and finished this madness, they ended up naked in each other's arms.
There were times when Lelouch had the perfect opportunity to keep Suzaku from ever interfering with his plans again, but no matter how violently his anger burned, the desire burned harder and they took it out on each other in this despicable fashion.
Suzaku turned and walked back towards the main building of the Kururugi shrine as if unable to stand being in Lelouch's presence any longer. Lelouch took the hint and followed after him, the butterflies of excitement beginning to flitter in his gut. They were silent besides the sound of gravel crunching ominously underneath their feet. The distance to the building seemed to stretch on, double or triple the distance it should have been. Like addicts suffering from withdrawal now that they were faced with the substance they had briefly attempted to stop using, they were smothered and suffocating under the weight of a psychological and physiological dependence. The stiffness of Suzaku's steps didn't go unnoticed, and Lelouch found himself overtaken by the occasional tremor.
As it had happened all the times before, the self-control they had was being rapidly worn away the longer they remained in one another's presence. Intelligent thought fogged over and attention was focused on just feeling and needing.
Upon moving into the stuffy old building, dust covering each surface in heavy layers that floated up into the air when disturbed, control finally snapped and Suzaku shoved Lelouch up against the nearest stable surface hard enough to hurt. Lelouch's wrists were pinned on either side of his head and Suzaku took a moment to simply glare at him before crushing their lips together with an angry passion. Lelouch wasn't sure if he was the one that made the odd whine in the back of his throat, but he was overwhelmed with heat, electric sensations that straddled the line of pleasure and pain, and Suzaku's heavy, familiar scent filling his nose. Dizzy, he struggled to get his body unpinned while kissing back with all the force he himself could muster. It was messy and rough, nothing at all like how they had started out a year ago. There was all the passion, perhaps even more than the first dozen times, but it lacked any tenderness, any expression of love they used to practice.
Dry lips scraped and pulled demandingly at Lelouch's moistened ones until they were slipping and sliding in a messy dance of desire. Neither could tell where one began and the other stopped, as if the desperate struggle had melded them together with sheer heat and friction. There was teeth, both sides nipping at lips until their tongues became involved in a twisting battle for domination, of rubbing and pressing to try holding the other down.
Suzaku finally released Lelouch's wrists in favor of trailing his hands over his small chest, digging his fingers into the thick fabric of his school blazer to try and feel the lines hidden beneath. Lelouch ran his hands over Suzaku's cheeks to tug harshly at loose brown curls, earning a low hiss that made him shiver pleasantly. They were used to the violence that tended to sneak its way into their passionate coupling.
Not bothering with feeling Suzaku through his clothes, Lelouch went right for his buttons to start getting rid of the obnoxious blazer. Suzaku seemed to like the idea, as he copied it with Lelouch's clothes…but he had far less patience and enough strength to do something about it. Buttons hit the floor in a clatter and the first layer of black and gold was tossed carelessly into the cloud of dust stirred up around them. A white dress shirt soon followed and Lelouch hurried to make them more even. Suzaku allowed his blazer to slide to the floor, but he wouldn't bother taking his hands away from Lelouch long enough to remove the dress shirt. Short nails scraped over Lelouch's pale chest as calloused fingers rubbed harshly against soft skin, causing it to redden pleasantly in response. Lelouch groaned loudly into the kiss, half-forgotten to both boys by now. To even the score Lelouch pulled his mouth away and attacked Suzaku's exposed neck instead. His sucking was harsh and he constantly used his sharp teeth to pinch and knead the skin in a rushed effort to coax blood to the surface.
The soft pad of a thumb trailed over the line of Suzaku's collarbone before Lelouch's hands slipped lower. His nails managed to do more damage, leaving burning trails in their wake that when deep enough, beaded blood. He caught Suzaku's nipples between his fingers and tweaked them roughly, causing Suzaku to gasp and pause.
Before Lelouch knew what was going on he found them both lying down, Suzaku on his back with Lelouch straddling his hips, strong arms wrapped firmly around his waist. Purple eyes blinked a few times in surprise but Suzaku was kissing him again. They were both gripping each other's hair now, tugging, occasionally stroking, but mostly using as leverage to deepen their kiss. Lelouch yanked his mouth away before they became too engrossed in it. He moved to mark up Suzaku's collarbone, then slid lower to lavish harsh attention on his nipples, biting and tugging at one before moving to the other.
All of Suzaku's previous attempts to keep quiet died off as he growled, moaned, and cursed at Lelouch over and over. One of his hands remained in his hair to yank and press on the back of his head as he saw fit, while the other followed the curve of his back and up the slope of his ass. His fingers dug into Lelouch's backside as he gripped it hard, causing Lelouch to give a loud, muffled complaint against Suzaku's chest. But not to be outdone, he retaliated by sliding his hand down and squeezing the front of Suzaku's pants. Hips jerked forward into the touch and Lelouch smirked. With his mouth still idly nursing one of Suzaku's nipples he used his hands to undo the obnoxious pants, and with help from a panting Suzaku, got both them and his underwear off.
Lelouch dug around in the pocket of his own pants until he came up with a small bottle of lubricant. Suzaku took a look at it and snorted.
"…You're sick…"
Usually they didn't make a habit of speaking when they were doing this sort of thing. With everything laid bare, however…there was no sense using the silence to hide things anymore.
"Says the bastard with a raging erection," Lelouch scoffed in return. One hand began to pump Suzaku's thick, weeping organ, causing it to twitch and Suzaku to groan loudly. The response he got was a tighter grip on his ass. "We're the same kind of disgusting, you know…" he purred as he flicked the cap off the bottle of lubricant and coated his fingers in the cool, slippery substance. He pressed two to Suzaku's entrance, who flinched at the temperature. "Seeing as you like something like this. You aren't much of a white knight, are you?"
"Shut up…" Suzaku hissed between gritted teeth. "At least I never claimed to be a savior…I don't promise false miracles…just do it already!"
Lelouch laughed humorlessly and jammed his fingers inside of Suzaku without any delicacy. He pressed them in deep and immediately began smearing lubricant across his walls, stretching him without being particularly worried about how prepared he was. They were familiar with this act by now…they knew how to play it, and there was pleasure to be found in searing pain.
"You belong to me, you know…no one else would want you. Everyone else would be disgusted if they saw you like this." He had to claim him. Insecure and desperate, he felt the need to verbally and physically close off any escape route Suzaku might have found, even if they both knew they needed each other and no one else would do when it came to their twisted games of pleasure and punishment. Suzaku growled and didn't answer, instead focusing on getting Lelouch out of the confines of his own uniform slacks. It was true, after all…no amount of cursing or denying would change that. Punishment for all of their mistakes and sins…that's what he would consider it. Because this was one of the most pleasurably painful sins they had ever committed.
A quick smearing of lubricant over his own straining erection was all the effort he gave to further preparation before Suzaku wrapped his legs around Lelouch's waist and Lelouch lined himself up. He pushed himself forward without hesitation, causing Suzaku to arch and cry out loudly while scraping nails over Lelouch's bared shoulders. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut at the burning pain ripping through his lower body, travelling up around his spine and making him feel weak. The moment Lelouch took afterwards was to gain his own bearings, not to give Suzaku time to adjust, but his familiarity with the position helped him manage. Even Lelouch was giving a few low moans of enjoyment, the tight vice-like grip and melting heat surrounding him threatening to devour him with more of that borderline pain. Intense. That was the only word both of them could use to describe it.
Suzaku's pain had dulled into a low throb, a sort of pleasant ache, but Lelouch's sudden renewed thrusting caused sharp spikes to ignite around the torn and abused flesh. The noises both of them made, from grunting and groaning to low wails of desperation, they were far more animalistic and lost in the physical side than they ever allowed themselves to appear around other people.
"All of it is your fault, Suzaku…" Lelouch purred breathlessly into the shell of his ear before nipping at the skin. His tongue made a hot trail down, briefly across his jaw, before following the line of his neck where sweat had attracted dust, and more sweat made clear lines in the growing layer. To Suzaku their image seemed grotesque, a sick joke of what it once had been. Attached at the groin, Lelouch's arched body perched over his, shoulders hunched forward and muscles bunched from a mixture of strain and pleasure, their movements seemed more like writhing than the beautiful and fluid joining they had practiced a year ago. The worst part was how amazing it felt.
"You betrayed everyone…you turned your back on your people, you sold me out to that monster of a man…all your lies…all the lives that could have been saved…if not for you." Rough with his passion and heavy breathing, it was a cruel twist on the things they had whispered and gasped to one another. Suzaku gave a dry sob and roughly dragged his nails over Lelouch's back while desperately driving his heels into Lelouch's tailbone, grinding his ass more firmly against the erection he was neatly speared on. He wanted more of that painful pleasure, the burning, the ripping, the harsh scraping of flesh on flesh. "If not for you, then perhaps Euphy…"
"Shut up!" Suzaku cried out, eyes squeezed shut in a half-hearted effort to keep tears from escaping. Tears of mixed anguish and…pleasure. The guilt was overwhelming and the forward thrusting that seemed to reach all the way up to stab his heart made him want to recoil or hurt the boy putting him through this torture. And yet at the same time he knew it was exactly what he wanted. He felt so…dirty. "Lelouch…!"
If it hadn't been enough already, Lelouch managed to drive himself into a spot that sent Suzaku up a wall. With a slight smirk, Lelouch began to aim for that spot, hitting it repeatedly with all the force he could muster as he felt himself growing closer to his release. Both boys were hot and sweaty as their movements against one another became increasingly needy, the room quiet besides their heavy breathing, their moans, their gasps, and the sound of wet flesh sliding and slapping together. It was as carnal and primal as the act could possibly be, lacking any grace or refinement. The floor was uncomfortable, the room was stuffy and dusty, and neither wanted it any other way.
Their noises rose in volume and Lelouch bit into Suzaku's neck as Suzaku gripped Lelouch's arms hard enough to bruise the skin. There was no rhyme or reason to their cries, no impassioned shouts of one another's names. A rush of tingling heat, mounting into an extraordinary peak of dizzying, white-hot pleasure that took their breath away marked the grand finale. Both were tense and locked in the position, melded together, waiting until the thick white fluid had been entirely emptied and their trembling ceased. Then Lelouch let out a long breath and pulled away to sit back against a wall with his head tilted back and eyes closed. His black hair stuck to his sweaty and dusty skin and he looked flushed but physically satisfied. He didn't bother with his pants, just focused on catching his breath and coming down off his high. His shoulders were beginning to ache a little where Suzaku had squeezed him, but it hardly registered. The bit of Suzaku's semen that had splashed on his stomach was beginning to cool and solidify unpleasantly.
He could hear Suzaku catching his breath without getting up from his spot. The athletic Knight of Seven was able to recover far faster, so when the distance between them was closed, Lelouch was still dazed, worn out, and breathless. But he had been expecting it. Hands discarded the pants he had been too lazy to get rid of before, followed quickly by his underwear. The soft, damp surface of Suzaku's tongue dragged along his sweaty neck, tasting the mix of salt, musk, and dust, before he picked a spot to bite into. Lelouch's body gave a jolt and he hissed but made no move to stop Suzaku. Those rough hands were rubbing over his slick abdomen, over his flat stomach and up around his chest to flick and squeeze his nipples. His calloused fingers followed the lines of his ribs and his collarbone, down to briefly toy with his navel before a hand wrapped around his softening cock to fist him quickly. Lelouch cursed loudly and hit his head against the wall behind him as his hips gave an involuntary buck. A thumb pressed harshly against the slit on the head of his member and ground in with tight circles while Suzaku used his knees to push Lelouch's legs apart.
It wasn't abnormal for them to go back and forth, punishing one another, taking out their frustrations and taking their fill of a destructive addiction. They had established it a year ago…you can't just give and you can't just take…you have to achieve a balance. It was exactly the same when it came to addictions and punishments…both sides were necessary. Both were ingredients for true satisfaction.
A slick finger pushed inside Lelouch's body and he squirmed, nose scrunching up at the initial displeasure and oddness that came with the first few moments of penetration. Suzaku was being "gentle", if one could call the harsh thrusting and twisting of the digit gentle, in comparison to starting off with two or three fingers. Even so it didn't take long for a second one to force its way in and start the unpleasant process of scissoring. What breath Lelouch had managed to catch was escaping him again and his body was responding automatically. Blood rushed down in response to Suzaku's fervent demands and he was hardening again, earning him a painful squeeze that made him choke. Suzaku's mouth was thoroughly marking his neck with harsh scrapes of his teeth and plenty of rough sucking as he worked Lelouch over, mostly concerned with his ass once he managed to get him erect. It always seemed like Suzaku took more time getting around to it than Lelouch did, and it tended to frustrate him. In the end, that might have been why he did it. But when he added a third finger Lelouch yelped from a mixture of surprise and pain. One finger was a minor annoyance, two fingers was greatly uncomfortable, but three stung.
"D-damnit Suzaku, just do it already…" he hissed, his nails digging into Suzaku's shoulders with far more bite than Suzaku's managed.
"So eager for my cock, Lulu?" Suzaku laughed with a note of cruelty to his voice. Lelouch opened his eyes to glare at him, insisting with his expression that Suzaku already knew what his answer to the question was. "Fine then."
To keep himself from crying out, Lelouch bit into his lower lip until a metallic taste filled his mouth. The pain was sharp and he felt like he was being split in two…it made the room spin and he held onto Suzaku as tightly as he could manage to keep himself grounded. Suzaku was sitting on his knees with Lelouch seated in his lap, legs on either side of his waist. He shifted so that Lelouch's shoulders and upper back were resting against the wall, then cleaned the blood from Lelouch's lower lip with a low purr-like noise. Lelouch always had a bad habit of clenching down on him and it felt incredible. They must have both been masochists, as Lelouch was the first one to experimentally move his hips even though it made pain flare up again. It was what he deserved, what he wanted…in response, Suzaku tightened his grip on Lelouch's waist and began to thrust his hips with a strength Lelouch could never muster. He hit his head a few more times and gave incoherent curses while clawing up Suzaku's back and squeezing him between his legs. In response Suzaku attacked his neck again and pounded him into the wall without any of the restraints he might have had a year ago. The pain, pleasurable pain, was something they strived for now.
"Bastard…" Suzaku ground out against slick and heated skin. "You fucking…killed her…my fault? All of those people you've hurt…all the people you've killed!" He gave a particularly hard thrust, coupled with a rough bite that threatened to tear the delicate skin of his neck. Lelouch made a noise that sounded somewhere between a moan and a sob while one of his shaky hands tugged roughly on Suzaku's hair. He felt like he was suffocating, unable to get in enough oxygen with the way Suzaku was rapidly thrusting into him. "You're so disgusting…you lied to Nunnally! It's because of you that…I'm…like this…!" The combination of physical and emotional pain, coupled with the consuming pleasure and desire made him shudder violently against Suzaku and make a multitude of wordless little noises. One strong arm stayed around him to support him while the other began pumping his slippery erection again, and the cry Lelouch gave could have been Suzaku's name. Suzaku's movements were becoming more vicious as once again he grew close to his orgasm, and he used Lelouch's body to push himself closer.
"Everything…you say is a damned…lie! Worthless…pathetic…I hate you! Hate…I hate…f-fuck…" Groaning loudly, Suzaku gave a few more violent thrusts before burying himself as deeply into Lelouch's body as he could and releasing. At the feeling of hot fluid rushing into him, it didn't take Lelouch much longer to follow suit and splatter ropes of white on the both of them. Both remained tense until the blinding pleasure began to wear off. Lelouch slumped heavily against Suzaku, thoroughly worn out and his need quenched for the moment. Suzaku maneuvered them both to the ground again, so that they were lying on their sides facing one another. While he removed himself from Lelouch's body, he kept his arms securely around him.
Drowsy, Lelouch allowed one of his own arms to remain draped over Suzaku. He vaguely noted that Suzaku's shirt was gone, and idly wondered when it had been removed. While it was uncomfortable like this, neither of them were about to move, and for a few minutes there was only the sound of quiet breathing.
A hand brushed Lelouch's sweaty hair from his face and fingers ran through the limp strands before chapped and dry lips scraped over his forehead in a chaste kiss.
"…love you…I love you…I-I…Lulu, I…you…" Suzaku murmured repeatedly, desperately, sounding close to tears. Sure enough when Lelouch reached up to touch Suzaku's cheek, it was damp, and not just from sweat. The ache in Lelouch's lower back was nothing compared to the ache in his chest and he slowly shut his eyes.
"…I love you too, Suzaku…" he finally whispered back. Suzaku gave a silent sob in response…but this was what both of them wanted. They were both satisfied.
When they left this building, neither were sure what would happen to their relationship as they travelled their separate paths. That was why, for now, they took the chance to be in each other's arms and pretend that things were as they used to be. They could pretend that they were two innocent school boys in love, just exploring possibilities. In the end…their relationship was very complex. It was a twisted shadow of what it had been, revolving around pleasurably painful punishment.
They had each other's love and all their lovers' revenge. In the end they had the warped relationship they desired.
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A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! Please have a super wonderful Thanksgiving, and I would be thankful if you let me know what you think ;D
Lelouch and Suzaku are very thankful for each other, by the way~ =P …just in case the fic got a little too angsty…or something.