Disclaimer: "It's the friends you can call up at 4 AM that matter."
(An: I'm on a bit of a Fearless kick right now... Gaia and Ed rock my goofy socks. This would probably be set between book six and book seven.)
Riiing...
"Gaia? You there?"
"Hey, Ed."
"What're you doing?"
"I just got finished taking a shower."
"What're you wearing?"
"Why?"
"Indulge my sick best friend fantasies, please."
"Water."
"...Thank you, God."
"Ed?"
"Sorry, spacing."
"What are you doing?"
"Making a milkshake. It's eleven, remember?"
"They don't have a clock in the bathroom."
"Ah. Yes. Right."
"Look. Ed. I love this as much as you do... but I'm expecting a call."
"From who?"
"...Sam."
"Should've guessed. Eleven is my designated Gaia time. Screw him."
"Please."
"Not literally!"
"Come on, Ed. I indulged your fantasy. I'd like to imagine that Sam actually knows I exist."
"Fine. I'll indulge your obsession. But tomorrow I get to call you at ten. Got it?"
"Sure, Ed."
"Bye."
Click
"Please call. Please call. I need it. For once in my life, please let this happen. Please call..."
Riiing...
"Sam?
"Gaia?"
"Mary?"
"Don't sound so happy to hear me."
"What do you want?"
"Remember the whole 'good, clean Mary' thing? I could use some Gaia-style good clean fun right now.""
"Mary, it's almost midnight."
"Yeah, well, I can't sleep."
"I'm kind of waiting for a call..."
"Pleeeeease?"
"Ugh. Fine."
"Yes! Meet me in the park in ten minutes, okay?"
"Sure."
Click
"It's not like he'd actually call, anyway. Why do I bother?"
Riiing...
"Please pick up... why do I bother?"
"This is the Niven residence! Please leave a message after the beep. Beep."
Click
"Sam... you're an idiot."
(That was a weird little ficlet.)