That Corholio guy
Disclaimer: The characters of Beavis and Butt-head and Family Guy were created and owned by someone else, this is for fan fiction purposes only
Highland, Texas USA
"I came in like a wreaking ball…" said the woman in the television
"Uh….huh, huh uh huh she said ball," said the brown haired teenager
"Heh, yeah yeah ball," said the blonde haired teenager "This chick is psycho, come on butt-head change it."
"Uh….ok!" said Butt-head "Huh, uh, huh she scares me too."
Butt-head picks up the remote and the channel changes to another music video
Maybe it's the way she walked (wow)
Straight into my heart and stole it
Through the doors and passed the guards (wow)
Just like she already owned it
I said can you give it back to me
She said never in your wildest dreams
And we danced all night to the best song ever
We knew every line
Now I can't remember
How it goes but I know
That I won't forget her
Cause we danced all night to the best song ever
"Heh, heh, meh, heh, I think I just soiled myself," said Beavis "Who are these butt-monkeys?"
"Uh…huh, I think they are called One Erection or something, huh, uh huh," said Butt-head
Butt-head changes the channel once again to something else
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance
"Heh, meh, heh, hey butt-head check it out," said Beavis "It is Courtney Love,"
"Uh…..huh, huh, no way Beavis," said Butt-head "Courtney Love is a slut like your mom,"
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance
"Shut-up butt-hole," said Beavis
"Uh, huh…..this chick is," said Butt-head "Huh, huh Britney Spears, huh, huh,"
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance
"Meh, heh, heh," said Beavis "Even Britney wouldn't watch this crap, this sucks,"
"uh….huh, yeah," said Butt-head
The channel changes once again, into a heavy metal band Five finger death punch video.
"Uh…Yes, finally something cool on," said Butt-head "This kicks ass."
"Meh, heh, yeah, yeah these guys rock." said Beavis
All throughout the music video Beavis is thinking of something, more like an idea of how to score and then the music video is over with as he turned to stare at Butt-Head.
"Hey, butt-head," said Beavis "I just thought of something meh, heh,"
"Uh….Damn it Beavis," said Butt-head "I don't care if Mr. Fantastic's shlong stretches like he does, that movie sucked."
"I know," said Beavis "Heh, meh, heh what if we learn from someone how to score,"
"Beavis, huh, huh, you dumb ass," said Butt-head "School doesn't teach you how to score,"
"No, no, heh, meh, heh," said Beavis "I mean learn from a master at scoring and I got a pretty good idea as in who to learn it from,"
"Uh…huh, huh, huh," said butt-head "You're a miserable piece of crap, you don't know anybody,"
"Yes I do butt-head," said Beavis "He has scored more times than you imagine and he is my uncle, he doesn't live in Highland"
"Uh…huh, you expect me to believe this crap you are saying," said butt-head "How are we going to get there fart knocker,"
"Don't call me fart knocker," said Beavis "McVicker wants to get rid of us anyway, so I got a plan in how to do it and how to get there."
"Ok….huh, huh," said Butt-head "Highland sucks anyway, so were there dude huh huh, huh, huh uh"
Highland High school: McVickers office
1 hour later
Principle McVicker is sitting in his office as the two bastards had just walked in chucking as always in which he is annoyed on end with their constant laughing and making a mockery of things, and people as well. It seems they are here for a reason in which he wondered what this is about as he wished he can get rid of these bastards for good.
"Ok….what do you bastards want," said McVicker
"Heh, meh, heh we want you to transfer us to another school," said Beavis
"uh….huh, huh, yeah your always whining about getting rid of us bastards, huh, huh," said Butt-head "So here is your chance to get rid of us,"
"Really," said McVicker with excitement in his voice "And what school you want to go to?"
"James Woods high school," said Beavis "meh, heh, heh,"
"I happen to know the Principle there," said McVicker "He owes me a favor anyway and how are you bastards going to get there,"
"Uh….we got a plan and stuff, huh, huh, huh," said Butt-head "So don't worry, because you won't be seeing us ever again."
McVicker picked up the phone and smiled, finally he will be able to get rid of these bastards forever and he will spread the word afterwards.
Quahog Rhode Island, USA
Sitting in the one of the booths in the clam are four people talking and drinking away. Who are these people, if anyone was going to ask?
The fat one is about over 300lbs with a brown crew cut hair, brown eyes and Caucasian skin; he is dressed in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. A black belt and green pants with brown shoes. The man is a working class Irish American, who is an overweight blue collar worker with a wife and three kids. His name!
Peter Löwenbräu Griffin
The other one is skinny with black short hair that is hiding a bald spot and he has black eyes with a large chin. He is dressed in a red Hawaiian shirt with yellow flowers, blue jeans and brown shoes. A self described womanizer and sexual-holitic who has a tremendous appetite for women and he is an airline pilot.
Glenn Quagmire
The next one is dressed in normal clothing and in a wheel chair with light brown hair and brown eyes, he is a police officer and is prone to anger issues at times, along with other insecurities, he is married with two kids of his own.
Joe Swanson.
The last one as He is an African-American male who is very polite to everyone and has a unique laugh, with blue jeans and a yellow shirt.
Cleveland Brown
"You know guys, my crossover senses are tingling," said Peter "Like the time I appeared on Happy Days and showed Ron Howard how to pick up hookers on the street corner,"
"That's nonsense Peter," said Cleveland "Crossover senses,"
"Maybe a hot and sexy woman," said Quagmire "Like Kim Kardashian,"
"Pfft," said Joe "No one famous would come to this dump,"
"I just have a feeling," said Peter "Like in the force and stuff,"
"Hey Quagmire," said Jerome "You got a phone call,"
Glen Quagmire got up and is handed the phone by Jerome as he listened carefully to what the phone call mentioned and the phone conversation ended as Glen handed the phone back to Jerome as he went back to his seat.
"Well guys my nephew and his friend are coming to stay with me," said Glen "And will be going to James Woods School,"
"Hopefully this crossover will be cooler than when I farted at the New York Marathon," muttered Peter
Quahog Rhode Island, USA
Three days later
A black van with flames along the sides has driven into the town of Quahog as Beavis and Butt-head are inside, Beavis is driving while butt-head is sleeping. Also heavy metal music is heard in the background coming from the stereo system.
The people of Quahog turned to see the van go by with troll like people inside and it is headed to Spooner Street, until finally the van parked in the drive way of Glen Quagmire with a sharp stop that made Butt-head fly out of the front window and land on the pavement as he woke up and looked annoyed, but thought it was cool.
"Heh, heh, meh," said Beavis as he got out of the van "Happy landing butt-hole,"
"About damn time we are here," said butt-head "Uh…huh, this place sucks…..it's so clean,"
"Hey Beavis what's up," said Glen
"Heh, meh, heh, how is it going Uncle Quag," said Beavis "Butt-head and I are here,"
"To make my life a living hell," said Glen
"Heh, meh, no way," said Beavis "We are here because we want to learn how to uh…score from a master like you."
"Oh….you mean sex," smiled Glen "Then I am your master,"
"Uh….this old fart," said Butt-head "uh, huh….I bet he spanks his monkey all the time,"
"I am not old," said Glen "And how many times you had sex, butt-head."
Butt-head stares in silence
"Yeah I thought so," said Glen "Beavis I have room for you inside my house and butt-head…..you get to sleep in the tool shed out in back,"
"Uh, huh, huh, tool shed, huh," said Butt-head
Griffin house
Stewie Griffin is working on a small device in his room as he can hear heavy metal music in the background that sounded really annoying and then the dumb dog Brian came in as he is wondering what he is doing with the small device.
"Let me guess," said Brian "Another lame ass takeover the world plan, along with a way to kill Lois,"
"Precisely you dumb dog," said Stewie "It is called the Cornholio ray as it will turn anyone into a raving moron and with people turned into raving morons I will be able to take over the world,"
"Well whatever," said Brain "When people are raving morons how are people going to know you rule the world,"
"Details, details," said Stewie "Damn it I can't stand that music I am working here,"
Stewie runs towards the window and sticks his head out the window to see Glen talking to, two teenagers that look like trolls.
"Will you shut that crap off," said Stewie "I am trying to work here,"
Back outside
Beavis and Butt-head got there stuff in which Beavis has a room inside Glens house, while butt-head is living in the tool shed outside in the back yard as he found this to be rather stupid. After having something to eat, Glen decided to give the two a meet and greet neighbors. As the duo with Glen went up to the door of the Griffins and used the doorbell as Lois answered the door and let them in as Stewie, Brian, Meg and Chris are watching television, while Peter is no where to be found.
"B and B," said Glen "Meet the Griffins , Lois the hot stuff, stewie the baby, Brian the dog and….Meg,"
"Whoa!, heh, meh meh, heh," said Beavis "This Lois chick is an MILF, heh, heh meh,"
"Uh….what, huh, huh," said butt-head "What is an MILF?"
Beavis explained it in detail to Butt-head
"Uh…ok, huh, uh, huh," said Butt-head "That is cool,"
"Hi I'm meg," said Meg "What kind of name is Beavis?"
"Uh….huh, huh, it rimes with Penis," said Butt-head
"Meh, heh, heh, shut-up butt-head I will kick your ass," said Beavis
"Why do those two talk like that," said Stewie "Their stupidity is really up there,"
Beavis and Butt-head laugh at the word up in which they understand the baby as Beavis mimicked the boing sound.
"Our education system and genetics, what else as stupidity is in their blood," said Brian
"Oh I guess that explains it," said Stewie
"Meh, hey butt-head this baby is pretty cool," said Beavis "He sounds like an English wussy, wussy, wussy,"
"Uh….huh, huh, yeah the dog probably licks his nads from time to time," said Butt-head "He sounds like a damn Liberal, huh, huh uh, huh,"
"Hey guys what's up," said Cleveland
"Oh so this is your nephew and friend," said Joe
"Yup, B and B," said Glen
"Whoa! Check it out Beavis," said Butt-head "It Cedric the Entertainer, huh, uh, huh huh,"
"Meh, heh, no way butt-head," said Beavis "It's fat Albert, hey, hey, hey,"
"Very funny guys" said Cleveland "You say that because I am black,"
"Uh….your black huh, huh," said Butt-head "I thought you were a Mexican,"
"meh, heh, butt-head you dumbass," said Beavis "Of course he is black, meh, heh, heh,"
"Joe is a cop," said Glen
"Meh, heh, has Joe ever copped a field before," said Beavis
"Uh…huh, huh, yeah cop-a-field, huh uh, huh," said Butt-head
"Meg is very cute," said Beavis "I would do her, meh, heh,"
"Uh…Beavis, huh, huh uh, huh" said Butt-head "She looks ugly, she doesn't have big thingies, but her mom is hot I would do her,"
"Sorry, butt-head isn't it," said Lois "I am married to a bigger dumb ass than you, but yeah I am an MILF."
"Hah, hah the troll likes Meg," laughed Chris
"Meh, heh, heh, well you're no pig prize yourself," said Beavis "You look like Stewart, dun, dun, dun, you wet the bed dun, dun dun,"
"Uh….huh, huh, yeah he does look like Stewart with a big butt-crack on his face," said Butt-head
"Shut-up you son of a bitch," said Chris "I do not wet the bed,"
"Well I guess that would explain your sheets are all wet," said Meg "Bed wetter boy,"
The sounds of fighting is heard outside as all of them went to look and see Peter fighting his arch enemy a yellow chicken as he is holding him by the neck and punching the chicken in the face. Beavis and Butt-head are laughing at this in which he is chocking a chicken, once Peter was done with his enemy he went over to see troll like teenagers with his friends and family.
"Ok…..," said Peter "I guess this crossover will suck
"Uh…huh, huh this guy as a penis for a face," said Butt-head
"No way butt-head, meh, heh heh," said Beavis "He has a very big butt-crack of a face."
Quahog Rhode Island, USA
One month later
Beavis and Butt-head spent a month here already in Quahog as Beavis is a better learner than butt-head is as the brown haired teen rather liked the tool shed, of course he went out to try to pick up chicks only to get rejected over and over. Even at School Butt-head was a brunt of everyone else's jokes, while Beavis wondered why no one asked Meg out as his uncle taught him well to know how to score and Butt-head tried to learn, but was prone to boredom due to believing it was school.
Beavis visited the Griffins as Butt-head was hungry as he was invited to eat as a perverted old man's place that Beavis found to be a little creepy. Peter and the others are sitting on the couch as he spots Meg crying as she is running up stairs. Beavis went on up stairs and knocked on the door as Meg didn't answer as he opened the door to find her crying on the bed.
"Hey how is it going," said Beavis
"Life sucks, you know that," said Meg
"Meh, heh, nope it's pretty cool like you," said Beavis "You should not care about those butt-holes, heh, heh I think you are very pretty and stuff."
"Really," said Meg "I get treated like crap as I don't exist,"
"Well then they suck," said Beavis "Meh, heh, heh, suck, suck, suck, so yeah really pretty, pretty hot."
"Thank you," said Meg
Meg smiled and then kissed Beavis on the lips as he wasn't surprised at all, so he returned the favor and then it all happened like magic. Stewie had gone up to his room to work on an invention or two and Brian had gone to use the upstairs toilet. In which the both of them heard moaning noises coming from Megs room, but ignored it due being Meg and all. Also they wondered where Beavis is at as he seemed to leave as well.
Quahog Rhode Island, USA
The next morning
The Griffins couldn't get much sleep last night as a lot of moaning noises were going on from Megs room, along with thud noises and the occasional oh yes noises, followed by grunting and certain meh, heh, heh sounds as well. Lois and Peter had enough while the others had gone down stairs to watch television more like cartoons.
"All right Meg," said Peter as he quickly opened the door to find the room a complete mess "What the hell happened in here, this is more messy than Bill Clintons frat party in college,"
"Oh my god she had sex," said Lois
"You bet your ass I did," said Meg "He is making me breakfast,"
"Not once I get done with him," said Peter "I am going to give him a knuckle sandwich,"
"Meg I forbid you in seeing this boy again," said Lois
"Oh I will see him again," said Meg "So go screw with yourself bitch,"
Peter walked downstairs looking extremely angry and stormed into the kitchen to find it a complete mess as all the food is being eaten by Beavis. Peter paused for a moment in wondered what is going on as the teenager has his shirt over his head and his arms up and is walking back and forth muttering in words he can't understand.
"Ok Beavis get your ass out of my house," said Peter "Before I kick your ass out,"
I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO," said Beavis "I NEED TEEPEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE,"
"What the hell is this?" asked Peter "Get out my house you damn troll,"
"ARE YOU THREATING ME," asked Beavis
"Yeah I am," said Peter
"THEN FEEL THE WRATH OF MY ALL MIGHTY BUNGHOLE," said Beavis
Beavis turned around pulled down his pants and farted as fire came out of his butt, in which Peter is engulfed by the flames and ran out of the house as he rolled on the grass. Beavis in his cornholio mode walks outside as Peter runs toward Beavis as he punched him in the face and Beavis fights right back using kung-fu moves to kick Peter in the balls. Then he is head-butting him in the face in breaking Peter's nose as blood trickles down to the ground.
"THE POWER OF THE ALL MIGHTY BUNGHOLE REIGNS SUPREME OVER ALL," said Beavis
"Oh reign supreme this," said Peter
Peter began to fight back as Beavis in his cornholio mode fought back as well in which the fight is going on outside, then it spills into one home and another as Cleveland is taking a bath and is thrown outside by the sudden fight between the two. Cleveland growled in annoyance as he headed back inside. Then the fight went back and forth on a school bus, as Beavis is getting the upper hand and Peter kept on fighting right back as the school bus crashed into James Woods high school and blowing the place sky high.
Then their fights moves to downtown a Mayor West is caught in the crossfire of the fight and is hit dozens of times, then both of them fall into the sewers as their fight is taken there, Peter makes one wrong move and punches a gas main as it explodes sending them both sky high in the air in which they kept on punching each other. Then landing in the Duff Brewery as their fight trashes the place until both of them are knocked into a propane take and half the Brewery explodes.
Once again are sent sky high in the air as they battle some more until both of them land in a sugar factory and into some experimental sugar chemicals, both become muscular in a hulk-like way and began to trash one another. In a classic clash of the titans and Butt-head gets in the way of both of them by accident as he is sent flying in the air and lands on Lois more like landing on her breasts in which she blushed at first.
The battle went on for like an hour or so in which they are pounding the snot out of one another until the sugar chemicals started to wear off and both of them were going for the kill, until several gun shots are heard and both Beavis and Peter stare at each other in which Peter looked up to see who made the shots.
"You son-of-a-bitch," said Peter
Peter falls to the ground as he had been shot in both legs and shoulder, then a large shadow looms over him as it is a rock and falls on top of Peter's lower body. Beavis looked very tired and wondered what just happened as his Cornholio mode had worn off and noticed Peter Griffin on the ground as he looked like crap. Shrugging his shoulders he went back to check on Meg.
"Payback is a bitch," said the Chicken as he held a rifle over his shoulder and walked away "I win this time."
The chicken walked away as Peter is laying there motionless for a bit until he opened his eyes and crawled from out of the rock as he will be crawling to a nearby hospital.
"You bet your ass it will be," muttered Peter "See I told you it would suck," then he paused "Huh, uh, huh, huh, meh, heh, heh now this will be cool,"
The End