Title: Star Trek: New Earth I: The End and The Beginning
Author: Christine L. Davis
E-Mail: nilescc@yahoo.com
Summary: Voyager has returned to the Alpha Quadrant, but the unthinkable causes their joy to be short-lived. Are they truly alone? Story told by Captain Kathryn Janeway.
Rating: PG (mild swearing)
Timeline: Approximately three years after current season. Assumes "Drive" to be the last canon information we have. This may change in future installments as each new episode of the TV show is revealed to us.
Spoilers: Unimatrix Zero I & II
Disclaimer: I don't own "Star Trek: Voyager", nor any of the characters and properties contained within that created universe...they belong to Paramount. Thank you to them for being so generous as to allow me to toy with them without getting peeved.
Author's Note: As you might have guessed, in light of this being "Star Trek: Voyager"'s last season, I have decided to move the ship and characters forward into a new set of stories that take place after the real show ends. I would like to explore my new universe further and hope that you will enjoy the ride as much as I have thus far. I would like to imagine this is how things might happen...
~~~~Star Trek: New Earth I: The End and The Beginning~~~~
"Captain," Chakotay's dark eyes misted from the tears he was trying to control as he spoke. "You've done it."
Those four words caused a barrage of sensations to course through my brain and body all at once, so fast, so relentless that I feared I might faint or, at best, betray my mixed emotions to my crew. I steadied myself and looked at each of my senior officers in turn. Tom Paris' face was covered by a far-too-boyish grin. His excitement was palpable. Next to him sat his wife, B'Elanna Torres-Paris. Her focus, as always, was on her husband. Somehow she'd caught his infectious joy, and she fairly beamed for it.
Seven of Nine smiled. I couldn't believe it. She was so beautiful when she allowed herself to enjoy the pleasure of a smile. Tuvok, ever the logical Vulcan, seemed to harbor no expression whatsoever. But I was not so easily fooled by his cool exterior. I could tell he was glad to be back in the Alpha Quadrant, that much closer to his beloved wife and children. Neelix...well, as always, his enthusiasm had been uncontainable. As soon as I announced that we had verified our coordinates as being within the Alpha Quadrant, he jumped to his feet, whooped for joy, and danced out of the conference room. After all these years, he still can't follow protocol.
Harry Kim looked for a moment like he might dance out after Neelix, but thankfully he remained in his seat, a seemingly permanent smile etched into his young cherubic face. The admiration in his eyes as he regarded me was rather embarrassing. I have never believed that a crew should worship its captain so completely as it seems most of mine does me. It's unsettling. I am, after all, merely human. There is nothing so great about me. Especially right now. At this very moment, I should be ready to celebrate our accomplishment, ready to relax with my crew as we travel the final 5-day journey to Earth. I am not.
I contemplate the Doctor. He looks apprehensive. Perhaps in him I have found a kindred spirit, one who does not share the crew's uninhibited enthusiasm at the prospect of finally returning home in less than a standard week. I know that he is frightened of what may come. He already knows that all other EMH programs like him were reprogrammed for hard labor. He is, by Starfleet standards, quite obsolete. But he is also much, much more than the sum of his programming. I have promised that I will speak on his behalf when Starfleet Command holds its hearings as to his fate and status within its ranks.
And then there is Chakotay. There is always Chakotay. I refrain from looking into his eyes for the moment, for I know if I do, surely I will become lost...and I cannot lose control in front of my crew. I have not done so in the entire ten years it took us to get back here, and I do not intend to let that record be blemished mere days away from space dock. I will speak with Chakotay later. Perhaps we can speak of promises...
But what promises can I make? To him or even to myself? I am torn within. I find that I am overjoyed to be coming home...but at the same time I know that my true home, the home that has been mine these last ten years...this ship...will cease to exist the moment we land on the planet. Crewmen and women will go their separate ways, in search of relatives, friends and methods to begin their lives again. They will experience other adventures. Over the years Voyager, and their time aboard her, will become nothing more than a distant memory. Important, yes. But it will be the past.
Not me, though. I will never forget her. She and I are one. It is true what they say about captains and their ships...it has been true since the first captain sailed the first ship so many millenia ago. So I must ask myself this basic question: can I survive without Voyager? Can I successfully reintigrate with reality?
"Yes," I finally reply to my first officer while looking down at the table. Averting my eyes is uncharacteristic. My senior officers know me that well. I can tell they all suspect the battle raging within my mind. "I suppose so. Crew, I propose a celebration this evening in Holodeck 1. Mr. Kim, Mr. Paris, Ms. Torres-Paris, I expect you to coordinate the festivities with Neelix. Coming home after ten long years in space, after ten long years of fearing that we would be old and gray before we returned...that is indeed reason for the crew to enjoy itself."
A quick dart of his eyes in my direction told me Chakotay noticed that I used the words "the crew" instead of "us". How could I read his mind so easily on some things and yet be completely in the dark on others? I made the mistake of looking once more into his eyes, only to find a hundred questions pouring from them, begging to be answered.
"You are dismissed," I say softly, turning my back on them.
But they are so happy now, thinking of the enjoyable evening ahead, thinking of the fact that they're home...they don't seem to notice the tears tracing lines down my cheeks before the doors are closed behind the last of them. As I stare unseeingly out the viewport, I sense someone is still here. I know without looking who it is.
"Kathryn."
Only Chakotay can make my name sound like a religious prayer. It's a sound I've grown accustomed to. It's a sound I've grown to...to love. And then, as though a fog has been lifted from part of my mind, I suddenly realize that my pain is not associated en totale with the prospect of leaving this fine ship. No. My pain stems from a secondary source...from Chakotay. Or rather, from the lack of him. I'm quite certain he will go his own way, as well he should. I'm just not sure that I can go on without him. That man is my rock.
I found out yesterday, some 15 hours after we'd returned to the Alpha Quadrant, that Mark, my one-time fiancee, has been married for eight years now. And not married to just anyone, no...he married a girl I grew up with, a girl who always stole my everything...boyfriends, possessions, you name it...back at the Academy and even before that, when we were kids in grammar school. Jana Irvine. Mark had married Jana. They had five children, the youngest being only 4 months of age.
It took him less than two years to get over me if you count the amount of time he must have spent on courtship prior to the actual marriage. Less than two years. And there I'd been, on Voyager somewhere out in the Delta Quadrant, sobbing my eyes out every night seemingly forever, for this man I once wished to marry. Of course, my...feelings...toward my first officer did occupy much of my time and thoughts. But I am nothing if not one to follow protocol, so it goes without saying that I didn't allow anything to happen between us. Why in heaven's name had I been so stubborn? I could see my epitaph now: "Proper ship's captain Kathryn Janeway, no family left to mourn her death." I shivered.
But now...would he take me? If I finally offered myself...and my love...to my beautiful warrior, would he place his arms around me and love me tenderly? Or would he lock me out as I have done to him these many years?
He walks up behind me. "Kathryn," he says again.
"Yes, Chakotay?" My voice is unsteady. Damn!
"Are you all right?"
I can't answer. I can't answer because I know I'm *not* all right. Far from it. I don't want to go home. I *am* home. Here on Voyager. With him. I realized, not without a certain measure of guilt, that I didn't want it to be over. I wasn't ready for that.
"I need some time, Commander."
He didn't move.
"Please," I whispered. "Please give me the afternoon. Come to my quarters at 1900 hours."
"Aye," was his only reply. Then he was gone.
Have I offended him? I truly hope not. I can't live without him in my life. I just can't. No, it's not even that. I *could* live without him in my life. After all, I *am* Kathryn Janeway. The true issue is that I don't *want* to live without him. Ever. Not even for a second. But how would he react? If he rejected me, I feared for the course of my own life...and for my hands, who would surely take that life. Could that be? Could Kathryn Janeway take her own life...over a man?
But this wasn't about a man at all. It was about a soul. His soul. And mine. This went much further than just a male-female relationship. When the hell did my existence become so complicated? I knew the answer. The day that I first looked into Chakotay's eyes. I knew then, as surely as I know now, that I would never be the same. I need him. My soul needs him. He is my oxygen to breathe, my body's nutrition to live.
He is my life.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
The moment has come. The entire Bridge Crew is here with me now, watching the main viewscreen as we see the stars going by so rapidly, straining our eyes for that blue and white marble which is Earth. The ship is eerily silent. Everyone is watching from view stations all over the ship, in their quarters, at their posts...holding their collective breath in anticipation of what they're about to see.
I wait patiently for the moment to pass. Tonight I will see Chakotay. Tonight I will try and explain to him all I am feeling. Tonight I pray that he accepts what little I have to offer
Seconds tick by. Still there is nothing. Something begins tickling at the base of my brain, but I don't regard it as relevant. But there is no planet appearing on the viewscreen. I am puzzled and turn a raised eyebrow in Tuvok's direction. He mimicks my gesture and presses a few buttons here and there on his panel.
And then it happens. That small, seemingly simple, gesture. Had anyone else's eyes opened wide, had anyone else's mouth dropped open slightly in one fluid motion, I would not have given it a moment's thought. But this was Tuvok. His face registered complete shock as he stared at his station's readings. My heart froze. I found that suddenly I didn't have any spit. I knew in the pit of my stomach what was wrong. I turned my face back to the viewscreen and saw the commander glance at me. Then something did appear in front of us. But it wasn't the beautiful planet we were all expecting.
It was a debris field.
It could have been a newly formed asteroid belt, but a quick scan showed there was other material within, material you wouldn't normally find if it had been just that. Not to mention that it was huge...several thousand kilometers at its broadest, to be certain. I knew what it was. I turned my face to Chakotay. I could tell by his countenance that he had figured it out as well. Damn. The whole ship was seeing this right now.
My voice cracked as I spoke. "Mr. Tuvok." I tried to wet my lips, but I couldn't. "Status report."
I think a whole minute passed before he replied. "Sensors indicate that...it seems that the Earth...has been destroyed."
Everyone on the bridge turned several shades lighter than their gods-given complexions. Harry staggered back into the bulkhead, his wide eyes full of fear. They begged me for an explanation, but I had none. "Cap--Captain?" he whimpered.
"No," Tom whispered, slumping down in his chair.
Tuvok continued. "The debris field you see seems to be what is left of Planet Earth." Good old Tuvok, his voice was now steady as ever. "Sensors indicate that Earth's moon as well as Venus, its moons and Mars have also been obliterated."
My breath caught in my lungs. I couldn't release it no matter how hard I tried. Not only Earth, but the Moon Colony and the colonies on Mars, Venus...their satellites...gone. All those people. Millions and millions of people. Just like that...gone. My sister. Tom's father. Mark, his wife, their children. It's ironic. All the time we were trapped in the Delta Quadrant, we felt so alone. And now, here we were, finally returned to the Alpha Quadrant...and we're more alone than we ever were out there. Alone in the universe.
"There don't seem to be any life forms within this solar system, Captain."
"Not even on Mercury?"
Tuvok shook his head.
"Pluto? Neptune?" I continued.
A slight shake of his head was his only reply.
"Dear God," I moaned, falling into my chair. I put my head in my hands and sighed. All I wanted to do was weep. How could this have happened? Earth is...was...Ground Zero for Starfleet. It had the best defensive capabilities of any Federation planet. How could it have been destroyed so completely? So irrevocably?
And what the hell were we supposed to do now?
Summoning every last ounce of strength I had, I came to my feet once more. "Mr. Tuvok," I began, fighting to control my voice, "open a channel to every viewscreen on Voyager."
"Channel open."
"Crew of Voyager. I know you have been watching your viewscreens, eagerly anticipating that first look at Earth. Undoubtedly you also witnessed the appearance of the debris field. I regretfully must inform you--" My voice cracked and I looked away from the viewer. Suddenly Chakotay was right next to me. He grasped my arm and it almost felt as though he were transferring his strength into me, giving me everything he had so I could complete the most horrid task of my life.
"Voyager's sensors are indicating that Mars, Venus, Earth, Earth's moon and several other moons have been...destroyed."
I think, in my heart, that I heard the entire ship scream in agony.
"I'm not certain what our next move is. We need to collect more data before we can make any decisions or assumptions. I will keep you all informed of the latest developments. Until then, I can only hope and pray that you will not react in a negative manner to this news. Please hold on until we can find out what's happened. In the meantime, I am ordering that this ship remain operating at full capacity. We have no idea what we're dealing with. For the safety of Voyager and everyone aboard her, we *must* be certain she can do whatever is necessary in any given situation."
I leaned heavily on Chakotay now, knowing that at any moment I might break down. If I was barely capable of dealing with the strain of this news, how could I expect my crew to continue functioning? No, I had to pull myself out of this. There would be time to grieve later...much later. For right now, I had to set the example for my people. I had to remain strong and sure of myself, like I always had. Captain Janeway doesn't break down.
I rose to my full height and my face became, once more, a mask of stone. Chakotay backed away. He knows me so well. "Captain Janeway out," was all I said. I heard Tuvok close the channel and once more I surveyed my Bridge Crew. I had to snap them out of it, just as I had snapped myself out of it.
"Mr. Tuvok, I want a full sensor sweep, down to every last molecule. I want to know *exactly* what happened out there." Tuvok nodded. "Seven, get to Astrometrics and run a full analysis on this solar system. Give me anything and everything you can put your hands on." The Borg woman exited before I even finished speaking. Somehow, within the next twenty minutes, I was able to give about 30 more people specific instructions retiring to my Ready Room.
I have never been more frightened in my entire life. Starfleet...gone? Earth...gone? Was that possible? I sat behind my desk and put my face in my hands once more. My mind raced, trying to come to grips with everything I now had to do. So deep in thought was I that Chakotay's entrance occurred without my knowledge. I jumped a little when he spoke my name.
"Kathryn."
It was everything I could do not to break down in front of him, although gods knew I could use a good cry in his arms right about now. Then I chided myself for my idiotic behavior. I'm the *captain*, for God's sake! I don't cry in my first officer's arms!
"Commander, it seems we have a daunting task ahead of us," I said, rising to my feet. My mask once again in place, I clasped my hands behind my back and paced the room. "Much more daunting than finding our way back here."
"Yes." Clearly, he was confused. But right now I couldn't spare the time to think about how I was, once more, throwing him for a loop. Dammit, we'd been so close...so close at last to discovering what we could be to one another. But now, as seemingly always, forces beyond our control pull us apart. We are Commander and Captain once more.
"I want you on top of the crew. Make sure everyone is working double time. We have to find out what happened here and if anyone escaped. I want to know *who* did this!" I barked. I paused as I thought some more. "I'd say about 3/4 of this ship is currently working on the orders I just issued. I want the other 1/4 doing everything in their power to increase the rations and fuel supplies aboard ship. Get everyone involved, even the children. We have no idea how much longer we're going to have to remain on Voyager. I want us fully prepared."
"Yes, ma'am." Chakotay turned to leave.
"And get B'Elanna and her people on top of our weapons systems. Whoever did this isn't going to get the best of *my* ship, no matter what they try."
He nodded and walked out of the Ready Room. Now what was I supposed to do? Every available person was working on the mystery of what happened to Earth. My expertise was as captain of this vessel, but once a captain gave the orders, what was her role? I could help out in Engineering, I could give Seven a hand...I could do lots of things. But I knew I'd just be getting in the way of my efficient and capable crew. I had delegated responsibility, now I needed to leave these people alone to handle that responsibility.
It kept rising in the back of my mind, the terrible visions I had of the Earth blowing apart into millions of rock chunks. I did everything I could to repress them. I *had* to find something else to focus on. If I didn't, the fear, confusion and sheer magnitude of it all would overtake me. Morale. I could boost morale. If the crew's captain walked among them as they worked, showing no fear, bonding them together...they would be more efficient and less likely to panic. Gods knew everyone was probably still in shock, but minds kept busy with work could not dwell on the negative.
I entered the Bridge and crossed to the turbolift. I stopped, turned and addressed my good friends and fellow shipmates. "Thank you for being so strong in this time of crisis. I am depending upon each and every one of you to help us pull together now." Then I gave a tiny smile and entered the 'lift. "Commander Chakotay, you have the Bridge."
"Aye," he replied, looking up from the console he and Tom were studying.
My first stop was Engineering. I knew they would be hard at work. But I was pained to find them all wearing masks of horror in place of their usually rather sunny countenances. B'Elanna wanted nothing more than to go to her husband, to comfort him now, but she knew that Engineering needed her much more than Tom did. At least, for the moment. As I strode through B'Elanna's pride and joy, I spoke to each and every crewmember. They seemed to breathe a small sigh of relief as I approached them. It is gratifying to know that I can so greatly affect their views and attitudes. It's also terrifying to have that much power. Power I never asked for, yet somehow gained anyway.
Chakotay would say it's because my crew reveres me, respects me...even loves me. It seems most crewmembers view me as a mother figure. How do you like that? I've never had a baby, yet I have more children than any woman could ever possibly have in her entire childbearing years. Intimidating. Best not to dwell upon such things right now. There will be time later.
Later. Always later. My whole life was one big 'later'. And increasingly, it seemed, I was throwing pity parties for myself. I had to snap out of this.
Next stop was Sickbay, where a few well-placed smiles and touches of hand to arm earned eased minds and a grateful nod from the Doctor. Astrometrics, the Bio Lab, the Library, the Cargo and Shuttle Bays...even both holodecks, where different simulations and tests were being run to try and determine the who, what, where, when, why and how of this situation.
Many hours after I began my tour of the ship, I returned to the Bridge. "Commander, my Ready Room, please."
He dutifully left his seat and followed me, standing a respectable distance away. I sat behind my desk, punching up my desktop computer interface. "Yes, ma'am," was all he said.
"Chakotay, I want the senior staff in the conference room in," I looked at the chronometer on my desktop, "two hours. I expect detailed reports on the progress each team is making on their specified task."
"Aye, Captain." He stood awkwardly staring at me for a moment.
"Was there something else, Commander?"
He opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it again. "Well, yes, Captain. I know that you have been all over Voyager offering kindness and words of encouragement to the crew. They are extremely grateful."
"I'm glad. I have to keep their morale up."
"Yes, I'm sure you have done so. But Captain, has anyone...who's keeping *your* morale up?"
"I'm not sure I follow."
"Who's walking beside you telling *you* that everything is going to be OK?" he clarified.
"No one. I don't need that. I am the captain of this vessel."
"I know very well that you are, Kathryn. But contrary to your stubborn opinion on the matter, you *do* need reassurance, just as much as I or anyone else aboard this ship does."
I eyed him warily. "Just what are you getting at?"
He sighed. I was exasperating him. "Neither of us have eaten in a very long time. Might I suggest that we do so, at least for 30 minutes, so you and I can discuss, as captain and first officer, everything we need to regarding this disaster?"
My stomach noisily voted for Chakotay's plan. I soon found myself seated at a small table in the Mess Hall, Chakotay across from me. We ate vigorously, cleaning our plates in no time. Then he cleared his throat. I could tell he didn't want to talk to me about whatever was on his mind, but he acted like he had no choice.
"Captain, how do *you* feel about what seems to have happened here?"
"What do you mean, how do I *feel*?" I asked incredulously. Did he not know me better than that by now? He knew damn well how I felt. Didn't he?
"I mean, are you angry, upset, frightened, lost, lonely?"
I fought to maintain control over emotions that had no business clouding my mind at this moment. Why would he so relentlessly try to bring them to the forefront? Didn't he realize how precarious my position was right now? At any moment, without warning, I could dissolve into a near-hysterical woman. I struggled to keep Captain Janeway going, but Chakotay insisted upon chipping away at me, forcing me to expose Kathryn to him. He'd been doing this for years. It was all I could do to keep my wits about me.
"Commander, I don't feel this is an appropriate time for a discussion about my emotional state. We have to concentrate on solving this mystery."
He watched me for a few seconds. "Kathryn, when you *do* pause for rest some time within the next 24 hours, may I respectfully request that you allow me to join you?"
I wasn't quite sure what he was asking, but right now all I cared about was getting him off my back about how I felt. So I placated him. "Yes, that would be fine. I'll let you know." I rose and he followed me as we left the Mess Hall. "I believe we both have some work to do before the briefing."
"Yes, ma'am," he replied as he headed for the nearest turbolift.
I stood there for a few moments contemplating my first officer. He could, at times, be so tender and loving toward me that I would chastise myself for hours for not allowing us to become more than friends and co-commanding officers. Then at other times he could do as he just had, trying to get me to talk about things I didn't *want* to talk about. Why did he do that? Didn't he know it bothered me? That it caused me to retreat even further from him? I didn't do it on purpose, it was just an automatic response. My defense mechanism.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
"Let's get started," I said, seating myself at the head of the table. Fifteen people filled the room, most of them standing due to lack of chairs. They were all at rapt attention, some with PADDs, some a little dirty from whatever it was they'd been doing. For the next four hours I listened intently to, and spoke with, each person in the room. Once updates had been given, I dismissed all but the senior officers, with instructions that each team leader was to allow their members to eat and sleep in rotation so as to optimize the number of people working at any one time.
I could tell Chakotay was impressed by the added human element I'd just demonstrated. What did he think I was, a machine? It was obvious the crew were already tired, and several rumbling stomachs made it evident that they were in need of nourishment as well. I was nothing if not practical. No machine, not even a carbon-based body, can function without fuel.
"Very well," I spoke, eyeing each person seated at the table. "Thanks to the Astrometrics group we have now learned *how* the Earth and other planets and moons were destroyed." I pulled up Seven's recreation of events on the viewscreen. We all watched as several well-placed beams of light were directed at the Earth from eight different strategic points. In less than a minute the planet exploded, sending pieces of itself hurtling through space. For the moment, I ignored the ashen faces of my people. "What we need to find out is *who* and *why*. Ideas?"
Tuvok was the first to speak. "It would seem, Captain, that we are dealing with a powerful force. I would suggest attempting contact with the nearest settlements to this solar system, as well as with any other vessels within ten thousand light years. It is possible that a few people escaped. If we find them, we may find all the answers you seek."
I nodded. "Get on it." Tuvok stood and left the room as I addressed the rest of them. "Anything else?"
"Captain, I need to get to an "M" class planet for supplies," Neelix said. "You want the galley stocked, but I understand there aren't any planets left in this system from which I can gain food and other necessities."
"Very well, Mr. Neelix. Work with Seven to locate what you need. Keep in mind, however, that we don't want to stray too far until we know exactly what we're dealing with here. When the time comes, we will send an appropriately manned Away Team to the surface of whatever planet you designate."
"Thank you, Captain," Neelix replied. He looked expectantly at Seven.
"Captain," the ex-Borg began, "when I have finished assisting Mr. Neelix in his search, might I suggest that I concentrate my efforts on surrounding solar systems?"
"To what end, Seven?"
"It is conceivable that whoever attacked Earth may do so to inhabited planets in other solar systems. Perhaps we can locate them. Or follow their trail of destruction, if they leave one."
"Agreed. See to it."
Seven and Neelix left the room.
"Captain, I was speaking with Tuvok earlier," Chakotay said. "He feels that we could determine the nature of the weapons used by collecting physical samples from the debris field. His scans located a handful of anomalies which he pointed out may be nothing, but since we must be so thorough, he felt it was worth checking out."
Tom Paris leaned forward in his seat. "Captain, I think I'm your man for this one."
"Oh?" I raised my eyebrows.
"No one can pilot a shuttle through a debris field like I can," he stated earnestly. If the situation weren't so dire, I may have laughed at his boyish enthusiasm. "I can get a Science Team out there and back in one piece."
"I wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Paris. Work with Mr. Tuvok to put together the team, then go ahead. But I want you on a constant open channel with Voyager. Have someone monitoring you at all times, just in case."
"Aye, Captain," Tom flashed a smile at me as he rushed out of the room.
"Doctor? You've been strangely silent. What do you need?"
"I can replicate most of the medical necessities," the EMH replied, "I therefore don't believe I require anything further to assist in doing my work. I do, however, have reservations about Mr. Neelix's collection of foodstuffs for the crew."
"What kinds of reservations?"
"Captain, may I accompany him to the surface of whatever planet he chooses? I don't believe he should be left to bring just anything on board for people to eat. We have, in the past, had some rather...unhealthful...occurances thanks to his arbitrary use of new and unusual recipes."
I smirked. "Besides which, you have been itching to get out of Sickbay, have you not, Doctor?"
"I must admit that as truth, Captain."
"Your concerns for the health of this crew are well-founded. Go ahead and accompany Mr. Neelix. He could probably use your help to gather the food anyway. But before that I'd like you to work on creating a program in the holodeck which I feel is necessary."
I could sense Chakotay watching me. 'This one's for you,' I thought. 'I'll show you how I feel about this whole thing.'
"What program would that be?" the Doctor asked, his curiousity piqued.
"I want you to create a place where crewmembers can go to discuss their emotional state in light of what has happened here."
"You mean something like a psychiatrist or counselor?"
"Yes. We don't have a ship's Counselor, and I feel that ignoring the angst will do nothing but hinder Voyager's performance." It was funny, I could almost imagine Chakotay's eyes throwing question marks at me. He was, to say the least, rather surprised. "Doctor, these people need a place to go where they can grieve openly. They need someone compassionate to talk to. I used to hear stories about a half-Betazoid counselor aboard Jean-Luc Picard's ship, her name is Deanna Troi. She is apparently very good. Perhaps you could create someone like that."
"Aye, Captain," the Doctor said, rising to his feet. He was obviously pleased to be given such a "freelance" assignment. "I'll get on it right away."
I nodded and he left. B'Elanna looked at the commander, then at me. She had a funny look in her eyes, I wonder what she was thinking. "Captain, our warp capabilities are currently at 96%, but I need to locate some dilithium crystals to shore up our supply. I also have a couple of things in mind to beef up our warp drive and weapons system."
"Yes, I see your ideas here," I replied, perusing a PADD she'd handed me earlier in the meeting. "They're very good, B'Elanna. You have a very creative mind." Had the half-Klingon just blushed? I do so love catching people off-guard. It keeps them on their toes. "Please, do what you can to implement these changes. And after Neelix has finished in Astrometrics, I'd like you and Seven to locate that dilithium you need."
"Aye, Captain," B'Elanna smiled...actually smiled...at me as she came to her feet.
When the doors swooshed shut behind her, I turned to face my first officer. "Well, Chakotay, what about you?"
He just stared at me. I frowned. What was up with him lately? In the reverberating silence of the almost-empty room, his soft voice surprised me. "Captain, I'm sorry for staring. It's just that--you never cease to amaze me."
I half-smiled. "Really? Why is that, Commander?"
"It would take me hours to tell you why, Captain."
"Well, we have a little time on our hands now."
"We do?"
"If I recall, you challenged me to spend some time with you the next time I stopped for rest. I was planning on doing so right now."
"You? Rest?" He smiled. "Why don't I feel that is completely accurate?"
I sighed. Once again I was reminded of how well he knew me. "You're right. I was going to use one of the holodecks."
"Not for recreation."
We came to our feet in one fluid motion. He seemed to be so in tune with me. With each passing moment I was bombarded with the reasons why I felt I couldn't live without him. "No, for experimentation. I want to use Seven's recreation of Earth's destruction as a starting point," I explained as we headed for Holodeck 2. "I have to see the whole scenario. I have to see for myself how it all played out."
"I understand. Doing so may aid you in solving part of the mystery."
"Yes. I have found that actually seeing something helps me to understand it better, to visualize the event, to read between the lines and go behind the scenes. Maybe, just maybe, I'll see something."
"Four eyes are better than two, Captain. I would like to join you."
"I thought you might." I turned to the console just outside the holodeck door. "Computer, initiate program End Of Earth One."
Beep-blip. "Program is running. You may enter when ready."
The doors opened. Chakotay and I walked in, only to find ourselves seemingly walking through the blackness of space. When the doors closed, I said, "Computer, begin program."
The Earth looked huge as we stood there watching the simulation. The eight beams of light suddenly appeared. Since we had no idea where they'd originated, there was nothing at the other end of any of them. "Computer, freeze program." I ordered.
Chakotay and I walked around and through the beams, noting where each landed on Earth. Before long we were drilling the computer as to what was located at each of the beam's landing points. I was determined to figure this out, and Chakotay, I knew, was determined to help me. In the back of my mind I prayed that whatever...or whomever...had caused this tragedy wasn't coming back. With this kind of destructive capability, they'd squash Voyager like a bug no matter *how* well our weapons system was operating.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
I had no idea how many hours had passed, but my body ached and my stomach was empty once more. Neelix and Seven had located two "M" class planets three solar systems away where we could make quick stops for food supplies. Having traveled there in virtually no time, Voyager was now in orbit, and a Collection Team had beamed down to the most promising planet. Seven then worked closely with B'Elanna and found a moon in the solar system next to *that* one showed which a small deposit of natural dilithium deposits close to its surface. It seemed that Starfleet had been mining it, for there was a great deal of raw material already on the moon's surface in containment fields. We could, however, find no life forms.
It was decided that B'Elanna would gather a team and take a shuttle to collect as much dilithium as we needed. Tuvok and Tom had also put together a handful of people to collect evidence from the Earth debris field. For the time being they were going through a checklist of exactly what they would need to gather and how. Upon returning to Earth's solar system, they would be heading out to do fulfill that list.
As tired as I was, when Commander Chakotay suggested I take a break, my first instinct was to fight him on it...my first instinct is always to fight my first officer. At every turn. I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again. I was weary, there was no question about it.
"Commander, I may actually take you up on that idea."
"I'm glad. You go on ahead."
I frowned. "What about you?"
"I'll head to my quarters shortly, Captain," he smiled. "Am I not the one who's supposed to be nagging you?"
A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. "Indeed. Rest well. I'll see you in eight hours."
"Aye."
It never occurred to me that Chakotay wasn't even *thinking* about R&R. Without my knowledge, he spent those next eight hours pecking away at the simulation...fine-tuning it, adding details, answering questions, asking *more* questions. By the time I'd eaten, slept for six hours, taken a shower and dressed in a crisp clean uniform, the second-in-command of this vessel had almost completely solved the "how" and "where" parts of the equation. And part of the "what".
I was understandably irate that he'd ignored the very advice he chose to bombard me with. I stormed into the holodeck ready to drag him to his quarters by the ear if necessary. When I saw him, however, that urge suddenly disappeared. A smile the likes of which I'd rarely seen on his face lit him up like a Christmas tree. He was beside himself, but at the time I didn't know why. His happiness was infectious and I joined in as he laughed.
"Chakotay? What are you still doing here? And what's so funny?" I asked, crossing to where he stood on the other side of simulated Earth.
"I have it, Kathryn. I finally have it."
"Have what?"
"I know how they did it. I think I have an idea what they did it with. I also know from where."
My eyebrows shot up. This was beginning to sound like a bad rendition of the ancient Earth game Clue. 'Mr. Chakotay in the holodeck with the simulator,' I thought, smiling in spite of myself. "You do?"
"Yes. Here, watch this. Computer, run Earth Chakotay Twelve."
"Twelve?" I questioned.
"Yes," he flashed a brilliant smile at me. "It's taken twelve of these for me to figure it out."
I shook my head. Chakotay was insane.
I watched as Earth disappeared for a moment. The focus was now on Pluto, which was up ahead in the distance. We quickly approached, then passed it, as well as the next five planets. Suddenly we stopped and I saw eight nondescript red spheres come from behind me somewhere, ending at odd points around Earth. I was a bit confused. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to how they lined up. Luckily, Chakotay began narrating.
"I have made them small red spheres because at this point I have no way of knowing precisely how they looked. What I do know is that they couldn't have been any larger than one-tenth the size of Voyager, and possibly even smaller than that."
"Based on what?"
"Computer, pause program."
The first of the light beams had just reached Target 1 on Earth when the program halted. Chakotay, I guess not thinking about what he was doing, grasped my hand and pulled me up until we were face-to-face with the sphere and light beam.
"Based on the fact that they penetrated Earth's substantial defenses. Starfleet must have either dismissed them as non-threatening or not seen the threat quickly enough to mount a counterattack." I had to admit that his logic was sound. "I also discovered something else. Given the way Earth was destroyed, I have determined that it didn't *ex*plode as it first appeared. It *im*ploded."
I drew in my breath in surprise. "*Im*ploded, Commander?"
"Yes," he nodded vigorously. "You see, initial scans of the debris field indicated breaking points which seemed odd to me. I used Earth Chakotay Two to try and piece snapshots of different debris pieces together. It was like a giant jigsaw puzzle, but I finally got enough together to realize that the breaking occurred from the *outside* in, insted of the *inside* out."
My eyes widened.
"Then I tried to figure out how anyone could cause Earth to implode. I recalled a planet we stopped on while I was with the Maquis. Our cell became somewhat friendly with these people, they called themselves the Sajike. One night as we joined them 'round their campfire, their leader, Frachar, told us the tale of their ancestors. He spoke of another planet many thousands of light years away which had once been inhabited by his people. But that planet was destroyed by a renegade group from another world, his people called them the "Matre", which meant "destroyers" in their native language. He said it exploded inward instead of outward, creating a black hole. This black hole pulled their entire solar system into itself."
He had my complete attention. Moreso than usual, that is.
"But before the Matre destroyed their world, three cargo ships carrying thousands of people escaped. They eventually settled on a new planet, which is where we found them. They had only been there fifty years. Their leader had been but fifteen when it all happened. I remember questioning Frachar about how the Matre had caused the implosion. He said that they weren't certain what exactly was used because they didn't have technology like it. But he described it as eight separate beams of light having penetrated eight of the weakest spots in their planet's outer crust. If I recall, they even showed us some artists' renderings of the attack as seen by escaping colonists. The beams caused the magma under the surface to change somehow, and that's when the implosion occurred."
"Magma? How? Displacement? Overheating?"
"Here, watch. Computer, resume program."
I was enamored as one-by-one, beams of light emanated from the spheres and struck Earth's surface. Then we followed the last beam down to the planet, going right through the outer crust of it into the thick liquid that comprised the layer of magma. I was surprised when it began turning black from a quick cooling process. Then it hardened and every now and then I could hear it cracking...almost like ice.
Chakotay continued to speak. "The only way I have found for anything to use magma as an implosion device is if they first completely freeze the entire layer beneath the surface. Then, as you see here, the beams change in color from yellow to green. The attackers are sending the unstable native Bajoran chemical "taxis" through the beams, simultaneously switching the heat on so quickly that the magma is almost completely melted within ten minutes. Such an extreme change of temperature combined with the chemical composition of the magma and the volatility of taxis all combined to make the molecules fall in upon themselves."
"I don't understand. How does taxis change the composition of magma so completely?"
"Well, it doesn't, Captain. But the rapid heating forces taxis to destroy everything within any cells it comes into contact with. Theoretically this form of destruction could be carried out upon any subject matter, living or not. The cells are, quite literally, collapsing in on themselves. The magma layer of Earth is over half its mass...when that many cells fall in upon themselves over that large an area, the entire surface collapses, resulting in--"
He stopped speaking and we watched as the entire top crust of Earth fell into itself, creating a vortex that soon became a relatively small black hole. I found that my spit had, once more, dried up. It took several minutes for me to find my voice.
"But there's no black hole here, Chakotay. And there's a debris field. A black hole would have sucked all that debris into it."
"Not necessarily, Captain," he replied, indicating a change of angle in front of me. We had now turned our back on the black hole and were looking toward Venus...or where Venus should have been. "You see, the force of the black hole wasn't that great. And the mass of Earth caused it to be unstable as soon as it formed. My guess is that the black hole disappeared less than a minute after it formed. Some of the remnants of Earth would have gone into it, but the rest stayed behind to become trapped in the Sun's gravity and form the debris field."
"And what of these other planets and moons?" I gestured toward the places those things *should* have occupied.
"I believe the implosion may also have sent several large chunks of the Earth hurtling outward...you know how that happens...if you have the plug of a volcano, for instance. When the vacuum beneath it causes the plug to be sucked downward into the mouth of the volcano, it is inevitable that some of it will blow outwards instead of inwards."
I nodded. He was making perfect sense. I could see it all very clearly in my mind.
"I think these newly created asteroids slammed into Venus, Mars and the various moons hard enough to blow them apart. We know that both Mars and Venus are less cohesive than Earth...it wouldn't take much more than a rock the size of Voyager to take either of them out. At the right speed, of course."
"Go on."
"The only force I know capable of instantaneously freezing and then heating something is a phaser beam...but not actual phasers, of course, at least not as we know them. I believe that whoever destroyed Earth has been doing this for quite a number of years. They have perfected their attack and surveyed the target enough to know exactly where the crust is most easily penetrable. These things suggest experience. I haven't quite figured out what force they used to cause such immediate temperature changes, but a phaser beam *has* to have been what carried it. Possibly an altered phaser beam..." His voice trailed off as he became lost in thought.
I, too, stood lost in thought for several long minutes as the simulation ended. Finally, I asked, "Commander, is it at all conceivable that the Matre are here in the Alpha Quadrant? Could *they* have done this?"
Chakotay's face registered mild surprise. "Well, I--I suppose so, Kathryn. I had only originally used the story of the Matre to draw comparisons. It hadn't actually occurred to me that they could be the responsible party."
I turned to face him. "You have done a commendable job. You deserve a good eight hours of sleep."
"But Captain, I need to--"
"I'm certain we have some crewmembers who are capable of trying to locate information on the Matre in the ship's computers. I need you a full capacity, Mister. That's an order."
"Aye, ma'am." Oo, he knew I didn't like "ma'am".
"I will see to it that Tuvok reviews your simulation and recorded explanation, then begins his research immediately. Go to bed, Chakotay."
He smiled. I think he began to realize just how tired he was, though, for he seemed to sag just a bit. "Thank you, Captain. Good night."
"Good night." As he walked past me, I reached out and placed a tentative hand on his arm. "You're amazing."
A tired smile was his only response. Gods, he was wonderful. I released him and he left. I turned and stared at the debris field, the last image on Chakotay's simulation. Well, Tuvok's samples, once collected, should tell us how accurate the Commander's hypothesis was. However, even without those, I knew he was right. He'd always been right for the ten years we'd worked together on Voyager. Why start doubting him now?
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
The ship was a flurry of activity. Neelix and the Doctor returned with containers overflowing with food and seeds. Neelix, needless to say, was beside himself and the Doctor was quite satisfied that the crew had nothing to fear in the way of food poisoning. B'Elanna and her team had easily mined plenty of dilithium for our long-terms needs and were in the process of developing more secure storage units for it. I checked twice to make certain Chakotay was indeed in his quarters before making my rounds on the Bridge. I took informal reports from each of my senior officers, then requested that all Team Leaders be prepared to give me their informal briefings as well when I contacted each of them one by one from my Ready Room.
Things were progressing splendidly. Tuvok and Seven had successfully located three colonies not too far from Earth's solar system. There also seemed to be a handful of ships several thousand light years away who might be able to give us more information about either Chakotay's Matre or just what happened to Earth in general. First, however, Tuvok was adamant that we collect as many samples from the debris field as possible. To that end, we returned to orbit the area where Earth once existed. I didn't think I could ever get used to saying that. Tom, Tuvok and three science officers took a shuttle into the field. I put Mr. Kim in charge of continuously monitoring the mission before retiring to my Ready Room once more, this time to dwell on the answers Chakotay had discovered with his simulations.
My comm badge chirped only moments after I'd taken my seat. Sighing, I listened to the voice wafting over the air waves. "Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway."
"Janeway here, go ahead, Seven."
"Captain, I have been working on your request regarding the species Commander Chakotay called the Matre. I have discovered some interesting information and thought you may be wish to view it with me here in Astrometrics."
I was halfway across the Bridge before she'd even finished speaking. "On my way."
I strode into Astrometrics, butterflies in my stomach, willing for this to be the answer to the biggest mystery of all...the "who". "What have you got, Seven?"
The ex-Borg deftly keyed commands into her console. Information began appearing on the screen in front of us. "There have been many references throughout human history to the people you know as Matre. I confirmed what you told me about Commander Chakotay's experience. The Matre did indeed destroy the Sajike home planet as he told you. They have, apparently, also applied the same techniques to other planets containing high concentrations of sentient life forms."
"Do we have any idea why?" I asked quietly.
"No, Captain, there is nothing to indicate a motive. It seems to me that, if left unchecked, the Matre could very well destroy every living thing in *all* quadrants. I suggest in this case that you shoot first and ask later."
"Let me guess...you've been watching the Paris' television again."
She didn't answer. I wanted to laugh out loud. Sometimes Seven's innocence was so unbelievable that I couldn't help but find it amusing. "No offense, Seven, but I wish we could find a way to pit the Matre and the Borg against one another."
Little did I know that my offhanded statement had revitalized Seven's brain. She knew there *had* to be a way to get the two entities to fight. She just needed to think....
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
Six hours later I sat in the Mess Hall by myself enjoying a plate of food Neelix had prepared using some of the roots and spices from our recent stop. I had to admit it was delicious. I wasn't expecting the commander to join me, but found myself quite pleased when I looked up to find him towering over my table.
"Captain, may I?" His eyes sparkled once more, he seemed to have fully rested.
"By all means, Commander. I trust you slept well?"
He nodded. "I did, thank you."
"I've been thinking about your theory, Chakotay. Thinking about it a lot."
"Oh?" Did I just see pride flash behind those beautiful brown eyes?
"Yes. Mr. Tuvok has a team out now gathering samples from the debris field for analysis. I also had Seven research the Matre."
I definitely had his interest with the mention of that one word. "What did she discover?"
"Well, for one thing, she found an account of the story you told me...when the Matre destroyed the Sajike planet. She said there have been many references to the Matre throughout history. And she expressed a great deal of concern over what might happen to life as we know it if we don't stop them."
"So you're certain the Matre did this to Earth?"
"As certain as I can be. I admit the evidence against them is purely circumstantial, but I'm hoping Tuvok's little Away mission will change that. He and Seven have also discovered several colonies and a handful of ships not too far away. We're going to send teams to question as many people as possible once we're finished gathering evidence here."
"Wow, sounds like you've been busy, Kathryn."
"We all have. Chakotay, I need for you to try and remember everything you can about the drawings the Sajike showed you of the Matre. You didn't mention any kind of ships, weaponry...did you see anything along those lines?"
"It's been a long time."
"I know. And I don't mean to put pressure on you, but according to Seven it's imperative to the continued existence of anyone who's not a Matre that we bring this matter to a resolution."
He nodded as he turned his gaze inward, no doubt replaying in his mind the scenes of death and destruction caused by the Matre forces and relayed to him by the talented Sajike artists. Closing his eyes, he thought long and hard as I waited patiently. I knew it would take some time for him to recall an incident from so long ago. If he could recall it at all. A good twenty minutes passed. Suddenly his eyes snapped open with such force that I actually jumped a little.
"Spirits, Kathryn. I would never have remembered if you had not forced me to do so."
"You remember?"
"Yes!" He jumped to his feet, surprising the handful of crewmen who quietly ate their meals. "That's it! I remember now! There were three pictures of the main ship...one of the destructive objects...and even one of the Matre themselves!"
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."
I tapped my comm badge. "Janeway here."
"Captain, I have run some preliminary tests on samples from the debris field."
"Anything?"
"Yes. Much. We will be back on Voyager within the half-hour. I would like to meet with you at that time to go over my findings."
"Fine. Meet the commander and I on Holodeck One. Janeway out." I came to my feet and looked Chakotay in the eye. "Let's go."
I knew that man had figured something out, something essential to our understanding of the tragedy of our home planet. It would take time, but I was certain he'd be able to change his simulation to reflect whatever it was he was seeing in his mind's eye. He walked so fast to the holodeck that I'm ashamed to say I practically had to run to keep up with him. Well, it's not my fault he's so much bigger than me.
I could do nothing but stand idly by as Chakotay manipulated, ran, changed, reran, questioned, answered and just generally tinkered with his simulation. Unfortunately, that gave me time to turn my thoughts over to darker things. The Doctor had created a marvelous psychiatric program for the crew to use. Maybe that's what I needed to do: seek counseling.
For the sadness welled up within me like a tidal wave. All I could think of were the millions and millions of voices who'd been suddenly and sadistically silenced. No chance to defend themselves. No opportunities for last goodbyes or for redemption with whatever gods they chose to revere. One second they'd been on that beautiful blue and white planet, going about their daily tasks, talking, laughing, playing, working. And the next second...poof! Just like that, they were gone. Gone forever. Silenced.
The horror of it hit me full force and I staggered back against the holodeck doors. It's like I could feel each of their souls crying out for justice, crying out to me to make this right. I had to do it. It was up to me and this crew to avenge the deaths of so many innocents. Normally it was not the Starfleet way...but, I realized in a sudden flash of realism...
...Starfleet was no more.
I choked back a sob as I thought of my family. And even of Mark. All the Starfleet personnel, the dignitaries from other planets, the innocent children and babies, the wildlife. The beautiful green grassy slopes of my home state; the oceans teeming with life; the mountains shrouded in cloaks of white, fluffy clouds. So many, many loved ones...friends...acquaintances. Everyone...they were gone. They were gone. Starfleet...home...Indiana...San Francisco...the Atlantic Menagerie...the Tuvarian tunnels...gone. Oh, gods...
An agonized cry wrenched out of me as I fell to the floor. "Nooooo!"
"Kathryn?!?" Chakotay was by my side in an instant. But I could do nothing save lie there at his feet and sob. The sadness...the angst...the depression was overwhelming. I'd been ignoring it since that moment on the Bridge when I'd forced myself to do so. I had refused to even think about our investigation as one into the mystery of who destroyed Earth...to me, it was just another "assignment".
But it wasn't. And I was only just now coming to terms with that.
"Kathryn?" he queried more softly. I felt him pull me into his lap. "Computer, place security lock on Holodeck One, authorization Chakotay seven-one-omega-three."
Beep-blip. "Authorization accepted."
I could feel him stroking my hair, rocking slightly back and forth, rubbing my arm, all in an attempt to comfort me. But I would not be comforted. Unwillingly my mind had brought me to this moment where I had no choice but to grieve. And so I wept. I wept for the incredible loss that would ultimately affect every living creature in this universe. I wept for all the time the crew of Voyager had been forced to waste, all the time we could have been with our loved ones, cherishing our moments with them. I knew that we'd probably all be dead right now, too, but what was worse? To be killed so instantaneously or to be one of only a handful of loved ones left behind to pick up the pieces?
Chakotay spoke softly to me as my cries echoed through the holodeck. I could not understand his words and somewhere in the back of my mind that puzzled me. As I slowly began to calm down, as my sobbing became softer, I finally realized exactly why I couldn't understand him. He wasn't speaking Standard. He was speaking...Indian. The language of his people. Of his tribe. But...when had he learned that? He must have been studying it since that run-in he'd had with his ancestors. That was the only explanation.
Finally I stopped crying, but I lay there weak and helpless in his arms, clinging to him like a frightened child holds to its mother. Heaving breaths wracked my body as I closed my eyes. I would rest for a moment...for only a moment...in the arms of my...Chakotay.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
I awoke with a splitting headache borne of far too much sorrow. My eyelids were so puffy from crying that I could barely open them. I rubbed the sleepers out of the corners of my eyes and yawned. When I could finally focus on my surroundings, I realized that I was lying in my own bed. How had I gotten here? The last thing I recalled was falling asleep in Chakotay's arms on Holodeck One. Oh, gods, I prayed he hadn't actually carried me here...if someone had seen us...I would never live it down. Voyager's captain could *not* show weakness! Especially not now, in the face of this disaster.
Angry now, I sat up in bed steeling myself against the worsening of my headache. How dare he? How dare he embarrass me like--
"Kathryn, you're awake!"
I was positively seething. "Commander, what are you doing in my quarters?" I suppose if tone of voice could kill, Chakotay would be dead by now.
"Captain, we're not in your quarters."
What? I looked around...I was sitting in my bed...those were my works of art and personal effects scattered about my bedroom... "What do you mean we're not in my quarters?"
His dimpled smile confused me. He actually looked amused. "Do you like it? I recreated it for you. I thought it best that you not awaken in a state of disorientation after what happened."
"You...recreated it?" Then it dawned on me. I think my face must have turned as red as the top of my uniform. Now I really *was* embarrassed, but this time it was all my fault. "We're still on the holodeck," I stated, ducking my head to avoid eye contact. It amazed me that he knew each detail of my bedroom. It didn't occur to me to wonder how.
"Yes," he chuckled...actually chuckled! The nerve. "My apologies, Captain, it seems my idea wasn't all that good."
"Nonsense, Chakotay. It was very thoughtful." I smiled and looked up to see that face...his face...gods, my Chakotay's face...he is so beautiful...so wonderful.
"Where are you, Kathryn?" His voice was so soft I could barely hear him. He'd moved...he was very near me now, I could feel his breath in my ear.
"I'm a million miles away," I whispered in return. 'Lost in you,' my mind added. Oh, if only that breath of his would be followed by his lips...his tongue...his hands...his hands! An electric shock tore through me as I felt his hands touch my shoulders. No, not just touch...he was massaging me...like back on New Earth. Tears sprang to my eyes once more. New Earth. We should have just stayed there. I bowed my head and was soon crying once more. What was happening to me? Why was I being so weak?
"Kathryn, what is it? What have I done?"
"No, not you, Chakotay. Me. It's what *I've* done. To every member of this crew. I've destroyed any chance they had for a new start."
"What are you talking about?"
My voice seemed to suddenly stop working. "New Earth," I croaked.
I heard his sharp intake of breath. His hands became still. He knew what I was thinking. "So I suppose one of the things I have to add to the list of "Things the Indomitable and Perfect Kathryn Janeway Can Do" is fortune teller."
"What?"
"You're trying to tell me that you could have ordered the crew of Voyager to settle on New Earth."
"That's exactly what I'm telling you."
"And I suppose you were just...magically...supposed to know that Earth wouldn't be here when we returned to the Alpha Quadrant."
Well, when he put it like that, it did sound idiotic. Still, I felt responsible. I'm the one who effectively stranded everyone in the Delta Quadrant. I'm the one who condemned them to this miserable fate, with their loved ones all dead and lost to them now. It was my fault. Voyager was my ship. I was her Captain. That made it my fault no matter what.
Once more I felt him stroking my hair as he seated himself next to me on my holographic bed and pulled me into his embrace. I sighed, willing my tears to stop. This was nonsense! I had so very much to do now, we were so close to finding all the answers...and then we would have to devise a way to put things to rights. To, in effect, make the Matre...or whomever had done this...pay for their crimes. I felt odd thinking about it in terms of revenge, but even if Starfleet *had* still been there, they would have gone after the Matre for justice just like I was planning to do. I was skeptical as to our success, however. Given the capabilities of the Matre, namely being able to blow up whole planets, it was almost funny to think that an Intrepid class starship could bring them to their knees.
I knew that if anyone could do it, however, the crew of Voyager could.
Chakotay spoke softly, probably so as not to startle me. Bless him, he is the most thoughtful man I have ever met. "Captain, I have been working with Tuvok while you were asleep. With Seven and B'Elanna's assistance, I believe I have finally been able to recreate the scenario of Earth's...destruction."
No surprise there. Chakotay was nothing if not efficient.
"Seven also has devised a plan for something she said you came up with."
That confused me. "What? What did I come up with?"
"She feels that we can pit the Matre and the Borg against one another. I must say, Captain, her plan is nothing short of brilliant. We think it will work."
I nodded against his chest. "If you don't mind, Commander, I think I'll make a side trip to Sickbay. I can't very well appear in front of my senior officers looking like I must look right now."
He smiled into my hair. "You're beautiful, Kathryn, no matter how awful you look."
I laughed. "Well, *that's* reassuring," I replied sarcastically.
He laughed as well. "However, you would probably be more comfortable having the Doctor treat you here. It's a bit of a walk to Sickbay."
Yet another thing to show me how compassionate he was. Oh, how I loved him. "Yes, as usual, you're right."
"Computer, transfer EMH to Holodeck One, Section A."
"Section A?" I asked.
"Please state the nature of the medical emergency." The Doctor intoned upon materialization.
"Yes, Kathryn, I have this holodeck split into two programs. One of your bedroom and one of my simulation."
"Chakotay, you're a genius."
"Excuse me, Captain, Commander...what am I doing here?"
I smiled at the sour face the Doctor put forth. "Doctor, I look like hell. I have to meet with my senior officers very soon. Make me look...less like hell."
"Very well, Captain."
Ever the professional, the EMH worked quickly. In twenty minutes I was good as new. I looked at myself in a hand-held mirror on the night stand (he'd even gotten *that* right in the recreation!) and was pleased with the results. "Doctor, you're a miracle worker." I smiled, for probably the first time in a month.
"Yes. I am. Will you require anything further of me?"
"No, that's all, thank you. What's the rush?" I asked.
Can a holographic image blush? Well, I'd stake my reputation on it, because I swore I saw a shade of pink creep up the Doctor's neck and into his cheeks. "I'm...meeting someone for dinner, Captain."
I raised my eyebrows as Chakotay and I exchanged glances. Chakotay was the first to recover. "Enjoy yourself, Doctor. Computer, transfer EMH to Sickbay."
And just like that, the Doctor was gone.
I came to my feet. "Well, do you think you're all ready for me now?"
Chakotay stood right in front of me. "I've always been ready for you, Kathryn. Even before I met you I was ready for you."
I caught my breath as I felt the heat radiate from his presence. "Who's the one with the crystal ball now, Commander?" A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.
"I'm no gypsy!" he pouted, a gleam of mischief in his eye.
"And I'm no fortune teller. Am I?"
His mood serious once more, he shook his head. "No, Kathryn, you're not. So stop beating yourself up about this. You didn't cause Earth's destruction. What you *did* do was turn a seemingly hopeless situation into triumph by getting us home before we were all old fogeys. And now...you will do it again. Because you're Captain Kathryn Janeway."
With each of his words, I stood a little straighter.
"I told you this in the Delta Quadrant," he continued, "and I'll tell you again in the Alpha Quadrant. You are not alone, Kathryn. We, this ship, may be alone in the universe. But you...you will *never* be alone."
It was all I could do not to break down and cry again. I didn't deserve Chakotay, that much was for certain. But it seemed our lives...indeed the very essence of our beings...were inextricably intertwined. And so, we were stuck with each other. For better or worse.
In spite of the harrowing sadness of external circumstance, I was happier than I'd ever been before. "I know, Chakotay. I know." Touching my hand to his cheek, I smiled for a long while before finally drawing away. I linked my arm with his, much to his surprise, and we left my "bedroom", heading for his simulation. He discontinued the bedroom sub-program and summoned Seven of Nine, B'Elanna, Tom and Tuvok to the holodeck.
I haven't been to the movies in forever. But gathering there in the holodeck with the close-knit group that was the Bridge crew, waiting in the dark for Chakotay to initiate his completed simulation...it almost made me feel like a high school kid who was wild with anticipation over the latest Hollywood release.
"Computer," he finally said softly, "open program Earth Chakotay Eighteen."
"Eighteen?!?" I gasped.
He almost laughed out loud. "It took me a while to get it right," he replied in a rather whiny voice.
Everyone else looked at us like we had two heads. "Private joke," I said, chuckling.
"I'll bet," Tom whispered. Then I heard him "Oof!" as, undoubtedly, B'Elanna elbowed him. I made believe I'd heard none of it.
"Computer, begin program."
Chakotay took his familiar spot standing to my left. On my right was Seven, followed by Tom and then B'Elanna. Tuvok stood to the commander's left. We looked on with a gut-wrenching awe as the "movie", the recreation of Earth's final destruction, began.
We sped past Pluto, Neptune...on and on until Earth loomed before us, a giant round ball of perfection, so beautiful with its azure oceans and milky white clouds. I could even see the green and brown of Australia...there was Japan...and China...around the Earth turned, around and around...little did the people on the surface at that very moment know of their imminent demise. Little did they know... I began to tremble. Chakotay either sensed or saw my discomfort...I was beginning to lose it again. Boldly he wrapped a supportive arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him.
I could feel the eyes of the other four people upon us, but this time I didn't care.
Suddenly eight objects appeared from behind us. They were actually very similar to Borg spheres, only much, much smaller. I was struck by the odd similarity, but had no chance to reflect upon it. All at once the eight spheres were at their odd locations and then the yellowish beams of light appeared one at a time, going from the bottom of each sphere down, down, down, hitting the surface of the Earth. And we were suddenly following the eighth beam of light down.
We breezed through the Earth's outer crust, through layers of stone and straight into the unbelievably hot magma...Chakotay had even programmed the simulation to emit heat. But within a handful of minutes the magma had cooled and turned a very dark shade of gray, just this side of black. We heard it cracking as it formed into a frozen sort of lava rock. It was very, very cold.
Then the beam turned that sickening shade of lime green that made me, in a moment of incoherence, think of the old stuffed character Kermit the Frog. Before we knew it, the magma was molten around us again, that familiar shade of orangish-red...but then we were jerked back out into space and watched, each of us in our own private horror-filled minds, as the magma began falling into the core of the Earth. Without anything to support it, the outer crust soon caved in as well. I likened it to a thin sheet of ice collapsing into the water when stepped on by a careless polar bear in the frozen tundra of the Antarctic. I had seen that once in person while on an expedition to that world of ice and snow. That poor polar bear had not survived the fall.
Neither had the people of Earth.
But the simulation wasn't over. As if my horror were not already beyond comprehension, I was shaken to my very center to see what could only have been a Borg cube appear from behind us and to the right. As Earth collapsed into itself, the cube held its ground, as it were, as if enjoying the view. I know the black hole was now in Earth's place, but like a person drawn to stare at the grisly sight of a dead body laying at the side of the street, I could not tear my eyes from the damned cube.
Chakotay had released me long since. I turned to him now, my mouth and eyes open equally wide. "The Borg?" I whispered.
The simulation stopped. The silence was deafening as Chakotay nodded almost imperceptibly. "It never occurred to me, not the first time we encountered the Borg on Voyager, and not all the times since. The one picture that Frachar showed me of the Matre was not a very good one...but as I visualized it in my mind, I realized that it could only have been a Borg."
"Why?" I pressed. "What did the figure look like?"
"Well, it was largely impressionist, this artist's work. The figure was shaped like a standard humanoid, half of it was dark, half was light. And when Frachar described the Matre to me, he mentioned that they were "not entirely of flesh, not entirely of metal". It just clicked in my head...the Borg. The spheres the artists drew were also made of metal and Frachar spoke of a larger ship that looked like a box made of steel. It just never dawned on me that the Matre and the Borg were one."
Seven chose that moment to add her statement. "Captain, when I cross-referenced what I found in the ship's databanks about the Matre with historical sightings and accounts of Borg presence, it became clear that the reported incidents were more than coincidental. The Matre and the Borg are, without a doubt, one and the same."
And then I knew...I knew what had happened to the people of Earth. "Dear gods!" I moaned, looking into Seven's eyes in utter disbelief. "Were they all...assimilated?"
"There's no way to know for certain, Kathryn," Chakotay replied softly. I could tell he was doing everything he could to calm me, to avoid a repeat performance of my earlier breakdown.
"The virus," I breathed. "We may be able to save some of them."
Before anyone could answer, a voice filtered through the holodeck. "Bridge to Captain Janeway."
I tapped my comm badge. "Janeway here."
"Captain, this is Lieutenant Marx. There is a vessel moving quickly in our direction."
"Can you identify it, Lieutenant?" I asked, my skin prickling in fear.
"Working on it..."
I was out the holodeck doors and almost to the turbolift, flanked by my senior officers, by the time the voice of Lieutenant Marx was heard again. "Yes, Captain, it's--" I actually heard him gulp in fear. "It's Borg."
We were standing in the turbolift, all six of us rather close together. I swear I could see the fear register in all our faces...I even saw something flicker across Tuvok's eyes, if only for a moment. The Borg. They were coming back. Damn. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt a quick touch from Chakotay, as if to reassure me that he was there. Taking a deep breath, I strode onto the Bridge. In a matter of seconds, the replacement crew were in the turbolift and the familiar faces of my senior officers were in their proper places.
"Tom, get us the hell out of here. We need time to figure out what to do."
"Aye, Captain." Tom's long, thin fingers moved across his console like a fine concert pianist playing his Grand Piano. "I'm heading for the Mostra Nebula, forty thousand kilometers bearing 296.3."
"Good work, Lieutenant. Seven?"
She turned from her place near Harry. Harry. He hadn't been in the holodeck. The commander saw me frown slightly. Reading my mind, as he was often wont to do, he shook his head so quickly that I barely saw it. But I understood. It was something we would discuss later.
"Yes, Captain?" When the hell had Seven come down here to stand in front of me?
I steeled my resolve, pushing all my fears as far back into the recesses of my mind as possible. In a low voice I knew my crew could not mistake for anything but sheer determination, I said, "Let's hear about that plan of yours."
Tom expertly hid us in the Mostra Nebula. But we were blind as bats, unable to tell for certain whether or not the Borg cube could see us. We all stood together on the Bridge, discussing Seven's idea. I had to agree with Chakotay...Seven was brilliant. But I was so very afraid for her. She seemed to be frightened as well, but she fully understood that, if the people of Earth and the nearby moon and planet colonies had indeed been assimilated, Seven of Nine, ex-Borg drone, might be their one and only chance at returning to some semblance of a normal existence.
I didn't want to let her go. Surprisingly, as Chakotay and I stood with her 30 minutes later in Transporter Room Two, Seven put her arms around me and gave me a solid, heartfelt hug. She then looked warily at the commander, opting instead of a hug to offer her hand to him. He understood and held that hand perhaps a little longer than he should have...trying to convey, I knew, that he cared for her a great deal. She seemed to understand.
"Captain, should I meet with failure aboard the cube, I respectfully request that you read the contents of this PADD." She handed me the device. "But do not read it unless I perish or am re-assimilated."
"I won't, Seven. And I won't *ever* be reading it. You *will* return. If by no other means than the sheer force of my will."
She smiled softly. "Then in that case, Captain, I will see you soon." Taking her place on the transporter pad, she said, "Energize." Then she was gone.
Sighing deeply, I looked into Chakotay's eyes. "What have I done?"
He smiled. "The right thing, Kathryn. Come, we have much to do."
The next hour passed without incident. Apparently the Borg cube had either lost us or was waiting for us to emerge from the Nebula, for we didn't come into any further contact with them. Instead the entire ship made preparations for what was sure to be the largest overthrow of an alien species in the history of Starfleet.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
"Seven of Nine to Voyager."
I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "Janeway here."
"Captain, it is safe for you to emerge from the Nebula."
"I don't understand. Where is the Borg cube?"
"It has been destroyed. By a second Borg cube."
Did I hear that correctly? Did Seven sound like she was...smiling?
"Explain."
"Captain, it seems a friend of mine from Unimatrix Zero was in the area and stopped by to help us."
A smile lit my features as well. "Not Axum."
"Yes, Captain."
Oh, yeah, Seven was *definitely* smiling. Axum. Unbelievable. "Tom, take us out of the Nebula, bring us along side the *friendly* Borg cube."
"Aye, Captain."
The whole crew was smiling. We now had an ally...our job was going to be that much easier. When Axum and Seven came aboard about twenty minutes later, she relayed the story of what had happened.
Seven had expertly guided the Delta Flyer out of the Mostra Nebula. As she suspected, the Borg cube was waiting not one thousand kilometers beyond. She braced herself for the impact of the tractor beam she knew would not be long in coming.
Then the alarms on her panels sounded, startling her. Another Borg cube appeared. The second cube fired upon the first and it burst into flames, scattering debris everywhere. The shockwave knocked Seven off course, hurtling her back into the Nebula.
"I'm going to die," she'd said flatly, staring at the viewscreen in front of her, which spun in endless circles.
Before she could complete the thought, the flyer suddenly righted itself. She dissolved in a transporter beam...
...and rematerialized on a Borg cube.
There Axum had greeted her warmly...unfortunately, he still looked like a Borg drone. But Seven was as ecstatic as she could be, as was the love of her life. She briefly explained to him what had occurred and what our plan was to avenge the destruction of Earth. Axum vowed his allegiance to us...to me in particular, Seven later told me.
My senior officers and our guest sat around the conference table as I paced the room. This time, Harry was here as well. Chakotay had whispered to me in the hall that during our simulation viewing, Harry had been visiting the Doctor's holographic counselor. I nodded my understanding. Once this was all over, I really needed to talk with Harry, make sure he was okay. He was like a son to me and I was greatly concerned.
Seven explained her plan to infiltrate the entire Borg network with a subroutine she'd created that would knock each of them off line. In effect, she wanted to do what Tuvok, B'Elanna and I had done with the virus that disconnected each Unimatrix Borg from the hive mind. Originally her plan had been to be captured and reassimilated by the Borg, but she would have had the same neural blockers that we'd had on our mission. She knew the cubes inside and out, and was therefore deemed the best person for the job...especially since no one else aboard Voyager understood the subroutine she'd written.
But now, with Axum's promises of a Borg vessel at our complete disposal, this was going to be easy. Almost *too* easy. Then again, isn't that how life always worked? Just when things are at their most hopeless, when the possibilities of victory seem nonexistent, when the chances for complete failure are odds that even the House is taking bets on, that's when your whole world turns on its ear, smiles and offers you everything on a silver platter.
Well, this was one silver platter we were all more than willing to accept.
Looking around the room, I could sense the discomfort that some of my people were feeling in Axum's presence. He did, after all, look like a Borg. Hell, he *was* a Borg. How could I make them more at ease?
"I want you all to listen to me very carefully," I began, praying that my spirit guide would give me the right words to say now. "Given our history with the Borg, it is not unlikely, in fact it is quite expected, for some of you and most of Voyager's crew to feel very uncomfortable with Axum and the rest of our Borg allies. I would ask you all, however, to keep in mind the fact that during the years when the Enterprise NCC-1701 roamed the galaxy with Captain James T. Kirk at its helm, Klingons were Starfleet's worst enemies. They hated one another and fought vicious battles, killing many on both sides."
I saw B'Elanna flinch a little. The officers exchanged glances and I saw understanding reflected in their eyes. One look at Chakotay and I knew that my spirit guide had served me well once more.
"Now Klingons work hand-in-hand with all of Starfleet. We are at peace and we are allies. Some of us even share Klingon blood." I looked pointedly at B'Elanna Torres-Paris, who sat up a little straighter as her husband smiled proudly. "Please give the same consideration to our Borg friends. Remember, they did not ask to be Borg. They were *forced* to be Borg."
I thought for a moment Seven might cry. Axum's eyes glistened as he regarded me, almost like a child might regard its teacher. "Thank you, Captain," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"You're welcome, Mr. Axum." I smiled, so glad that he was no longer with the hive. And to think, when we first entered the Delta Quadrant, Axum could've been one of the drones we'd killed...yet here he was, not a drone at all, but a man. Well, half-man, half-machine...but we would eventually take care of that. For all of them.
"Bridge to Captain." came the voice of Lieutenant Marx.
"Janeway here."
"Captain, I'm reading another Borg cube entering the outer perimeter of our long range scanners."
I looked at Axum. "Could it be one of your Unimatrix Zero friends?"
"I don't know. Let me beam back to my ship. I will intercept them and try to find out."
Axum rose to his feet, Seven quickly following suit. "Let me come," she pleaded.
My first instinct was to say no. But I understood what was happening. When we had to destroy Unimatrix Zero, we destroyed what Seven thought was her one last chance with Axum. Now here he was, and she wasn't about to let him out of her sight. Why did that type of sentiment seem familiar to me?
I glanced sidelong at Chakotay. I know he noticed. "Permission granted, Seven. Depending on the outcome of your meeting with the new cube, you will begin the process of uploading your subroutine to the hive mind while you're there."
She was practically glowing. "Thank you, Captain." A last lingering look from her to me told me how grateful she truly was. See, Chakotay? I *am* compassionate. Well, as long as my very existence isn't being threatened, I am.
Forty minutes later, tensions ran high on the Bridge as we all waited for some word from Seven and Axum.
"We should have heard from them by now," Harry said softly. Poor Harry. I think he's had a thing for Seven for a while. Now that Axum's in the picture, I doubt Harry has much of a chance with her. Why isn't he with one of the Delaney sisters? Or one of the lovely young ensigns on this fine ship? Why? Because Harry is the quintissential case of fatal attraction. That young man always gets involved with the wrong woman. Perhaps I should speak to him about that as well. And I'll bet Chakotay could find a wonderful young lady to set him up with...
"Seven of Nine to Voyager."
I think I heard the whoosh of air as everyone exhaled. With as much as everyone held their breaths around here, it was a wonder we were all still alive. "This is Janeway, go ahead, Seven."
"Captain, we intercepted the other cube. They are friendly. Kri-char was a member of Unimatrix Zero and in charge of the vessel. However, it was badly damaged and we had to accept the remainder of their complement aboard the Hansen."
Chakotay and I exchanged confused looks. "The Hansen?" I asked. Seven's human last name?
"Yes," Seven replied, sounding more than a little embarrassed. "Axum has given his ship a name."
"I see, Seven. That's quite an honor, you know."
"Indeed."
I think everyone present was trying not to laugh. Seven was a lucky woman. It was clear Axum loved her deeply.
Regaining my composure, I asked the other question on all our minds. "Have you been able to upload your subroutine?"
A few seconds of silence seemed like an hour before she replied. "Yes, Captain. Now only time will tell whether or not we were successful. In the meantime, I would like to request medical assistance for some of Kri-char's wounded crew and..."
I knew what Seven wanted to ask for but couldn't. She wanted us to help Axum and the others liked we'd helped her. She wanted us to remove as many of their Borg implants as we could. I was more than willing to comply. But we needed a planet on which to do so. Something that large-scale couldn't be done on a ship as small as Voyager. It was another matter we would have to discuss.
"I understand, Seven. We're going to do everything we can to help them all."
"Thank you, Captain."
"Captain!" Harry cried from his position behind and to the left of me. "There's a Borg sphere headed this way. Bearing 863.78." His eyes widened. "Captain, it's humongous!"
Humongous? "On screen."
I heard Axum swear, "Damn." as the image appeared on our main viewer.
I rose from my seat and walked forward until I was standing right behind Tom. "Dear God in Heaven."
"Sweet Jesus," Tom added. "That thing is...huge!"
"Seven, Axum, report!" I barked, heading back to my chair.
"Captain, this is a transport vessel."
"Seven, it's almost as big as the Earth, what the hell are they--"
And suddenly it was like one big light bulb went on over both Voyager and Hansen. I hadn't realized what I was saying, but there my words were...could it be? "Seven? What exactly does that ship transport?"
But she didn't reply. Almost a minute later, it was Axum's voice we heard. "Captain, this is one of four Borg transports in the area."
"Mr. Axum, *what* do they transport?" I repeated.
"People, Captain. Unassimilated people."
You could have heard a pin drop.
"Where is Seven?"
"She is speaking to the drones that took charge of the transports."
Dare I hope? "Are they on our side?"
A handful of seconds later, Seven stepped into view on our screen. "Yes, Captain. She is on our side. Her name is Helene. She and her Unimatrix Zero partner Frederick were drones assigned to tend to the newly captured Terrans."
"Terrans..." Chakotay breathed. We all looked at one another. Tuvok raised an eyebrow. Harry stared at Seven. My first officer reached for my hand...I accepted his gesture. B'Elanna stepped off the turbolift and was soon standing next to her husband.
"Terrans?" I asked, willing with every fiber of my being for our wishes to come true.
Axum smiled at Seven. She turned to face us, tears spilling down her cheeks as she checked the wall panel console just out of our view. "Yes, Captain. Mostly human. There are other races, of course, approximately forty-five others. They are from the moons of Mercury..."
I inhaled sharply.
"...the moons of Venus..."
Chakotay squeezed my hand.
"...from the colonies on Mars..."
A tear escaped my eye.
"...from the colonies on Venus..."
I heard a choked sob come from Harry's direction.
"...from the colonies of Earth's moon..."
Tuvok exhaled slowly, a sound not unlike the touch of a feather to my ear...but I heard him.
Seven...no, Annika...looked up once more. "...and from Earth."
Tom made a sort of gasping sound that indicated great relief as he and B'Elanna hugged fiercely.
It was all I could do to find my voice. I held Chakotay's hand so tightly I was certain bones would be broken. "All of them, S--Annika?"
The look I received at the use of her human name was definitely meant for me alone. She was reaching out to my heart, to thank me for acknowledging her as a fellow human. Oh, I'd been trying to do so for several years, ever since the Unimatrix Zero incident. But continuing to call her Seven, I realized, meant continuing to associate her with the Borg. It dawned on me that something as simple as what you call someone...their name...can mean such different things to different people.
And it was not all me, of course. She had not been ready to accept herself as human. She had been striving to achieve that aspect of humanity which she had lost as a drone, but she never felt she'd done it. Now, however, I could see it in her eyes. In that look that was meant for only me. She was ready. She was human. She was Annika. And I had confirmed that for her.
"Yes. All of them. Every last person."
"Captain," Axum interjected, "Borg transports are used to carry unassimilated populations from large worlds to Borg facilities that can accomodate them. The ships that attacked Earth were, of necessity to the mission, too small to handle something of this magnitude. Helene and Frederick took charge of all four transports near the Neutral Zone. Then they received Kri-Char's distress signal. They brought this transport back to Earth's solar system in search of her cube."
Seven picked up the narrative. "When they got close enough, we contacted them and they were pleased to discover that we were part of the Unimatrix Zero family."
Family. What a wonderful word, I thought. And ours was growing bigger by the minute.
"The rest of the transports are safe near the Neutral Zone, manned by others of our family," she concluded.
For the first time in the ten years since we'd gotten lost in the Delta Quadrant, I cried openly in front of my crew. But I don't think any of them noticed, because they were all crying, too. Except Tuvok, of that I was certain...wait...where was Tuvok? I turned to look in his direction, but he'd disappeared. I'd have bet a month's worth of rations that I knew why. Even Tuvok has feelings, whether he wants to admit it or not.
I let it all go for ten minutes...I allowed us to feel the relief that coursed through our veins. But there was now a monstrous challenge ahead of us. We had to find a New Earth...
I looked up at Chakotay just as he looked up at me. When our eyes met, I knew we were thinking the same thing. And so we were, for we spoke the same words in unison.
"New Earth."
Annika cocked her head to the side. "Captain?"
Chakotay and I came to our feet.I just couldn't let go of his hand, and I didn't give a damn what anyone else thought. "It's obvious we need to find a place to re-settle everyone," I said. "We thought perhaps New Earth might be appropriate."
"I know of New Earth," Annika replied. "I cannot think of a more perfect place from which to begin."
"Nor can I, Kathryn." Chakotay smiled, showing those dimples of his. As I looked around the Bridge, I noticed everyone was smiling. At me. I didn't deserve to be the focal point of their happiness. They owed this to themselves, each and every one of them.
"Then if there are no objections," I said to Axum and Annika, "I suggest we proceed to the wormhole and set a course for New Earth."
I wondered briefly what Starfleet would think of my decision to move the entire populations of the destroyed planets and moons to the Delta Quadrant. But given the fact that our stable wormhole, which had gotten us back here to Alpha in the first place, *was* stable was a point in my favor. Also in favor of my decision was the fact that the Borg possessed the technology necessary to keep that wormhole stable indefinitely. Just prior to our first briefing with Axum earlier in the day, he'd told me as much when I mentioned how we got back here.
It was clear he knew what I was thinking. "Yes, Captain, we have the ability to keep the wormhole open for you. Our allegiance will heretofore be sworn to the Federation. We give freely of our technologies and our lives to the service thereof. We who were once lost forever owe our very lives to you, Captain. You and the gallant crew of Voyager."
It was then that I realized someone had opened a ship-wide channel, for as Axum finished speaking I heard every single person aboard Voyager let out a cheer the likes of which I doubt I shall ever hear again. It would work. We would all be okay. And Chakotay and I...were going home.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
Three months later...
Bone-tired, it was all I could do to crawl into my bed of straw and leaves at the end of the day. I loved sleeping outside under the canopy of trees and stars. We had reached New Earth in sixteen days...something I'd never dreamed possible. The people who had been captured by the Borg were carefully being revived by our Borg allies. Voyager's crew worked five times harder than they ever had on the ship. There were shelters to be created, food to provide, care for those recovering from stasis aboard the Borg transports...we all had our hands full.
Now, however, three full months after our arrival on New Earth, the tide was finally beginning to turn. Most of the people from the transports were completely recovered, only a few remained on Voyager's Deck 6 which the Doctor had turned into a critical care facility. Only half-conscious from fatigue, I couldn't help but smile as I watched Chakotay draw near. As I suspected he would, he leaned over me, checking to see if I was asleep.
"Kathryn."
"Mm?" I opened my eyes right into his sparkling brown ones.
"I have a surprise for you, Kathryn. I believe I have found some folks you'd like to see."
My skin tingled. No. It couldn't be. Had he found them? I sat straight up in my bed, my weariness forgotten as my eyes peered through the darkness. "Who, Chakotay?" I asked, jumping to my feet.
He walked a few paces to my left and reached his hand out behind a large tree. I saw an arm...part of a body...a face...
"Mom!" I wailed, rushing toward her. "Mom!"
"Kathryn! Kathryn, my dear, sweet, Katie-Bird!"
I flung myself into her arms. I had feared she'd not made it, that something had happened and she hadn't been taken. I had almost convinced myself that I'd never see Mom or Phoebe again...yet here I was, hugging my mother so hard I all of a sudden wondered if I'd break her right in two. I released her and kissed her warmly on the cheek.
"Oh, Mom."
"Hey," I heard a woman's voice behind me. "None of that for me?"
"Phoebe?!? Is that you???"
Yes, it was. There she stood, smiling so big I thought her face would crack in two. I pulled both of them into a fierce hug. I never wanted to let them go again. They were alive. They were all right. My family was whole. Wait, no it wasn't. Something was missing. Some*one* was missing. I pulled away from Phoebe and Mom and turned to look for Chakotay. I saw him walking slowly away from us. No, he shouldn't leave. He should be here. With us. He had been part of my other family for ten years. No reason to stop that now.
I pulled away from Mom and Phoebe and turned to face his retreating form. "Chakotay." I could feel the eyes of my mother and my sister boring into the back of my skull.
He turned at the sound of his name. Smiling, he walked back toward me. "Yes, Kathryn?"
"Won't you stay?"
"I don't wish to intrude, Kathryn. This is your reunion, with *your* family. I am not part of that."
Self-deprecating fool. Of *course* he was part of it. I looked into his eyes, for we stood very close now. Ah...I knew what he wanted. No, what he *needed*. He needed me to affirm that. Aloud. In public. For others to hear.
"We are *all* family now, Chakotay...all of us here on this planet. Because we have all been through terrible things and have survived. We have won." He was disappointed. But I wasn't finished. "But you, my gentle warrior, you are part of *this* family." I gestured to where Phoebe and Mom stood. "Part of *me*."
That's all he needed to hear. The most beautiful smile I'd ever seen radiated from him as he stepped around me and headed for the other two Janeways. "I don't think we've been formally introduced," he said to Mom, stretching his hand out to her. "I'm Commander Chakotay, your daughter's first officer..."
I could only look on in wonder. I guess Chakotay's and my relationship was getting serious. After all, I'd brought him home to meet my mother...
THE END
Stay Tuned For New Earth II
How will the massive populations deal with starting over again on New Earth? And what of the Borg? Did Annika's subroutine work? Have they all been disconnected from the hive mind? Can the Borg allies be "fixed" and returned to the way they were prior to assimilation? Did Kathryn make the right decision in bringing everyone to New Earth? What will the short- and long-term consequences be? Does Starfleet even exist anymore? All these questions and more will be answered in the next episode of "Star Trek: New Earth".
Author: Christine L. Davis
E-Mail: nilescc@yahoo.com
Summary: Voyager has returned to the Alpha Quadrant, but the unthinkable causes their joy to be short-lived. Are they truly alone? Story told by Captain Kathryn Janeway.
Rating: PG (mild swearing)
Timeline: Approximately three years after current season. Assumes "Drive" to be the last canon information we have. This may change in future installments as each new episode of the TV show is revealed to us.
Spoilers: Unimatrix Zero I & II
Disclaimer: I don't own "Star Trek: Voyager", nor any of the characters and properties contained within that created universe...they belong to Paramount. Thank you to them for being so generous as to allow me to toy with them without getting peeved.
Author's Note: As you might have guessed, in light of this being "Star Trek: Voyager"'s last season, I have decided to move the ship and characters forward into a new set of stories that take place after the real show ends. I would like to explore my new universe further and hope that you will enjoy the ride as much as I have thus far. I would like to imagine this is how things might happen...
~~~~Star Trek: New Earth I: The End and The Beginning~~~~
"Captain," Chakotay's dark eyes misted from the tears he was trying to control as he spoke. "You've done it."
Those four words caused a barrage of sensations to course through my brain and body all at once, so fast, so relentless that I feared I might faint or, at best, betray my mixed emotions to my crew. I steadied myself and looked at each of my senior officers in turn. Tom Paris' face was covered by a far-too-boyish grin. His excitement was palpable. Next to him sat his wife, B'Elanna Torres-Paris. Her focus, as always, was on her husband. Somehow she'd caught his infectious joy, and she fairly beamed for it.
Seven of Nine smiled. I couldn't believe it. She was so beautiful when she allowed herself to enjoy the pleasure of a smile. Tuvok, ever the logical Vulcan, seemed to harbor no expression whatsoever. But I was not so easily fooled by his cool exterior. I could tell he was glad to be back in the Alpha Quadrant, that much closer to his beloved wife and children. Neelix...well, as always, his enthusiasm had been uncontainable. As soon as I announced that we had verified our coordinates as being within the Alpha Quadrant, he jumped to his feet, whooped for joy, and danced out of the conference room. After all these years, he still can't follow protocol.
Harry Kim looked for a moment like he might dance out after Neelix, but thankfully he remained in his seat, a seemingly permanent smile etched into his young cherubic face. The admiration in his eyes as he regarded me was rather embarrassing. I have never believed that a crew should worship its captain so completely as it seems most of mine does me. It's unsettling. I am, after all, merely human. There is nothing so great about me. Especially right now. At this very moment, I should be ready to celebrate our accomplishment, ready to relax with my crew as we travel the final 5-day journey to Earth. I am not.
I contemplate the Doctor. He looks apprehensive. Perhaps in him I have found a kindred spirit, one who does not share the crew's uninhibited enthusiasm at the prospect of finally returning home in less than a standard week. I know that he is frightened of what may come. He already knows that all other EMH programs like him were reprogrammed for hard labor. He is, by Starfleet standards, quite obsolete. But he is also much, much more than the sum of his programming. I have promised that I will speak on his behalf when Starfleet Command holds its hearings as to his fate and status within its ranks.
And then there is Chakotay. There is always Chakotay. I refrain from looking into his eyes for the moment, for I know if I do, surely I will become lost...and I cannot lose control in front of my crew. I have not done so in the entire ten years it took us to get back here, and I do not intend to let that record be blemished mere days away from space dock. I will speak with Chakotay later. Perhaps we can speak of promises...
But what promises can I make? To him or even to myself? I am torn within. I find that I am overjoyed to be coming home...but at the same time I know that my true home, the home that has been mine these last ten years...this ship...will cease to exist the moment we land on the planet. Crewmen and women will go their separate ways, in search of relatives, friends and methods to begin their lives again. They will experience other adventures. Over the years Voyager, and their time aboard her, will become nothing more than a distant memory. Important, yes. But it will be the past.
Not me, though. I will never forget her. She and I are one. It is true what they say about captains and their ships...it has been true since the first captain sailed the first ship so many millenia ago. So I must ask myself this basic question: can I survive without Voyager? Can I successfully reintigrate with reality?
"Yes," I finally reply to my first officer while looking down at the table. Averting my eyes is uncharacteristic. My senior officers know me that well. I can tell they all suspect the battle raging within my mind. "I suppose so. Crew, I propose a celebration this evening in Holodeck 1. Mr. Kim, Mr. Paris, Ms. Torres-Paris, I expect you to coordinate the festivities with Neelix. Coming home after ten long years in space, after ten long years of fearing that we would be old and gray before we returned...that is indeed reason for the crew to enjoy itself."
A quick dart of his eyes in my direction told me Chakotay noticed that I used the words "the crew" instead of "us". How could I read his mind so easily on some things and yet be completely in the dark on others? I made the mistake of looking once more into his eyes, only to find a hundred questions pouring from them, begging to be answered.
"You are dismissed," I say softly, turning my back on them.
But they are so happy now, thinking of the enjoyable evening ahead, thinking of the fact that they're home...they don't seem to notice the tears tracing lines down my cheeks before the doors are closed behind the last of them. As I stare unseeingly out the viewport, I sense someone is still here. I know without looking who it is.
"Kathryn."
Only Chakotay can make my name sound like a religious prayer. It's a sound I've grown accustomed to. It's a sound I've grown to...to love. And then, as though a fog has been lifted from part of my mind, I suddenly realize that my pain is not associated en totale with the prospect of leaving this fine ship. No. My pain stems from a secondary source...from Chakotay. Or rather, from the lack of him. I'm quite certain he will go his own way, as well he should. I'm just not sure that I can go on without him. That man is my rock.
I found out yesterday, some 15 hours after we'd returned to the Alpha Quadrant, that Mark, my one-time fiancee, has been married for eight years now. And not married to just anyone, no...he married a girl I grew up with, a girl who always stole my everything...boyfriends, possessions, you name it...back at the Academy and even before that, when we were kids in grammar school. Jana Irvine. Mark had married Jana. They had five children, the youngest being only 4 months of age.
It took him less than two years to get over me if you count the amount of time he must have spent on courtship prior to the actual marriage. Less than two years. And there I'd been, on Voyager somewhere out in the Delta Quadrant, sobbing my eyes out every night seemingly forever, for this man I once wished to marry. Of course, my...feelings...toward my first officer did occupy much of my time and thoughts. But I am nothing if not one to follow protocol, so it goes without saying that I didn't allow anything to happen between us. Why in heaven's name had I been so stubborn? I could see my epitaph now: "Proper ship's captain Kathryn Janeway, no family left to mourn her death." I shivered.
But now...would he take me? If I finally offered myself...and my love...to my beautiful warrior, would he place his arms around me and love me tenderly? Or would he lock me out as I have done to him these many years?
He walks up behind me. "Kathryn," he says again.
"Yes, Chakotay?" My voice is unsteady. Damn!
"Are you all right?"
I can't answer. I can't answer because I know I'm *not* all right. Far from it. I don't want to go home. I *am* home. Here on Voyager. With him. I realized, not without a certain measure of guilt, that I didn't want it to be over. I wasn't ready for that.
"I need some time, Commander."
He didn't move.
"Please," I whispered. "Please give me the afternoon. Come to my quarters at 1900 hours."
"Aye," was his only reply. Then he was gone.
Have I offended him? I truly hope not. I can't live without him in my life. I just can't. No, it's not even that. I *could* live without him in my life. After all, I *am* Kathryn Janeway. The true issue is that I don't *want* to live without him. Ever. Not even for a second. But how would he react? If he rejected me, I feared for the course of my own life...and for my hands, who would surely take that life. Could that be? Could Kathryn Janeway take her own life...over a man?
But this wasn't about a man at all. It was about a soul. His soul. And mine. This went much further than just a male-female relationship. When the hell did my existence become so complicated? I knew the answer. The day that I first looked into Chakotay's eyes. I knew then, as surely as I know now, that I would never be the same. I need him. My soul needs him. He is my oxygen to breathe, my body's nutrition to live.
He is my life.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
The moment has come. The entire Bridge Crew is here with me now, watching the main viewscreen as we see the stars going by so rapidly, straining our eyes for that blue and white marble which is Earth. The ship is eerily silent. Everyone is watching from view stations all over the ship, in their quarters, at their posts...holding their collective breath in anticipation of what they're about to see.
I wait patiently for the moment to pass. Tonight I will see Chakotay. Tonight I will try and explain to him all I am feeling. Tonight I pray that he accepts what little I have to offer
Seconds tick by. Still there is nothing. Something begins tickling at the base of my brain, but I don't regard it as relevant. But there is no planet appearing on the viewscreen. I am puzzled and turn a raised eyebrow in Tuvok's direction. He mimicks my gesture and presses a few buttons here and there on his panel.
And then it happens. That small, seemingly simple, gesture. Had anyone else's eyes opened wide, had anyone else's mouth dropped open slightly in one fluid motion, I would not have given it a moment's thought. But this was Tuvok. His face registered complete shock as he stared at his station's readings. My heart froze. I found that suddenly I didn't have any spit. I knew in the pit of my stomach what was wrong. I turned my face back to the viewscreen and saw the commander glance at me. Then something did appear in front of us. But it wasn't the beautiful planet we were all expecting.
It was a debris field.
It could have been a newly formed asteroid belt, but a quick scan showed there was other material within, material you wouldn't normally find if it had been just that. Not to mention that it was huge...several thousand kilometers at its broadest, to be certain. I knew what it was. I turned my face to Chakotay. I could tell by his countenance that he had figured it out as well. Damn. The whole ship was seeing this right now.
My voice cracked as I spoke. "Mr. Tuvok." I tried to wet my lips, but I couldn't. "Status report."
I think a whole minute passed before he replied. "Sensors indicate that...it seems that the Earth...has been destroyed."
Everyone on the bridge turned several shades lighter than their gods-given complexions. Harry staggered back into the bulkhead, his wide eyes full of fear. They begged me for an explanation, but I had none. "Cap--Captain?" he whimpered.
"No," Tom whispered, slumping down in his chair.
Tuvok continued. "The debris field you see seems to be what is left of Planet Earth." Good old Tuvok, his voice was now steady as ever. "Sensors indicate that Earth's moon as well as Venus, its moons and Mars have also been obliterated."
My breath caught in my lungs. I couldn't release it no matter how hard I tried. Not only Earth, but the Moon Colony and the colonies on Mars, Venus...their satellites...gone. All those people. Millions and millions of people. Just like that...gone. My sister. Tom's father. Mark, his wife, their children. It's ironic. All the time we were trapped in the Delta Quadrant, we felt so alone. And now, here we were, finally returned to the Alpha Quadrant...and we're more alone than we ever were out there. Alone in the universe.
"There don't seem to be any life forms within this solar system, Captain."
"Not even on Mercury?"
Tuvok shook his head.
"Pluto? Neptune?" I continued.
A slight shake of his head was his only reply.
"Dear God," I moaned, falling into my chair. I put my head in my hands and sighed. All I wanted to do was weep. How could this have happened? Earth is...was...Ground Zero for Starfleet. It had the best defensive capabilities of any Federation planet. How could it have been destroyed so completely? So irrevocably?
And what the hell were we supposed to do now?
Summoning every last ounce of strength I had, I came to my feet once more. "Mr. Tuvok," I began, fighting to control my voice, "open a channel to every viewscreen on Voyager."
"Channel open."
"Crew of Voyager. I know you have been watching your viewscreens, eagerly anticipating that first look at Earth. Undoubtedly you also witnessed the appearance of the debris field. I regretfully must inform you--" My voice cracked and I looked away from the viewer. Suddenly Chakotay was right next to me. He grasped my arm and it almost felt as though he were transferring his strength into me, giving me everything he had so I could complete the most horrid task of my life.
"Voyager's sensors are indicating that Mars, Venus, Earth, Earth's moon and several other moons have been...destroyed."
I think, in my heart, that I heard the entire ship scream in agony.
"I'm not certain what our next move is. We need to collect more data before we can make any decisions or assumptions. I will keep you all informed of the latest developments. Until then, I can only hope and pray that you will not react in a negative manner to this news. Please hold on until we can find out what's happened. In the meantime, I am ordering that this ship remain operating at full capacity. We have no idea what we're dealing with. For the safety of Voyager and everyone aboard her, we *must* be certain she can do whatever is necessary in any given situation."
I leaned heavily on Chakotay now, knowing that at any moment I might break down. If I was barely capable of dealing with the strain of this news, how could I expect my crew to continue functioning? No, I had to pull myself out of this. There would be time to grieve later...much later. For right now, I had to set the example for my people. I had to remain strong and sure of myself, like I always had. Captain Janeway doesn't break down.
I rose to my full height and my face became, once more, a mask of stone. Chakotay backed away. He knows me so well. "Captain Janeway out," was all I said. I heard Tuvok close the channel and once more I surveyed my Bridge Crew. I had to snap them out of it, just as I had snapped myself out of it.
"Mr. Tuvok, I want a full sensor sweep, down to every last molecule. I want to know *exactly* what happened out there." Tuvok nodded. "Seven, get to Astrometrics and run a full analysis on this solar system. Give me anything and everything you can put your hands on." The Borg woman exited before I even finished speaking. Somehow, within the next twenty minutes, I was able to give about 30 more people specific instructions retiring to my Ready Room.
I have never been more frightened in my entire life. Starfleet...gone? Earth...gone? Was that possible? I sat behind my desk and put my face in my hands once more. My mind raced, trying to come to grips with everything I now had to do. So deep in thought was I that Chakotay's entrance occurred without my knowledge. I jumped a little when he spoke my name.
"Kathryn."
It was everything I could do not to break down in front of him, although gods knew I could use a good cry in his arms right about now. Then I chided myself for my idiotic behavior. I'm the *captain*, for God's sake! I don't cry in my first officer's arms!
"Commander, it seems we have a daunting task ahead of us," I said, rising to my feet. My mask once again in place, I clasped my hands behind my back and paced the room. "Much more daunting than finding our way back here."
"Yes." Clearly, he was confused. But right now I couldn't spare the time to think about how I was, once more, throwing him for a loop. Dammit, we'd been so close...so close at last to discovering what we could be to one another. But now, as seemingly always, forces beyond our control pull us apart. We are Commander and Captain once more.
"I want you on top of the crew. Make sure everyone is working double time. We have to find out what happened here and if anyone escaped. I want to know *who* did this!" I barked. I paused as I thought some more. "I'd say about 3/4 of this ship is currently working on the orders I just issued. I want the other 1/4 doing everything in their power to increase the rations and fuel supplies aboard ship. Get everyone involved, even the children. We have no idea how much longer we're going to have to remain on Voyager. I want us fully prepared."
"Yes, ma'am." Chakotay turned to leave.
"And get B'Elanna and her people on top of our weapons systems. Whoever did this isn't going to get the best of *my* ship, no matter what they try."
He nodded and walked out of the Ready Room. Now what was I supposed to do? Every available person was working on the mystery of what happened to Earth. My expertise was as captain of this vessel, but once a captain gave the orders, what was her role? I could help out in Engineering, I could give Seven a hand...I could do lots of things. But I knew I'd just be getting in the way of my efficient and capable crew. I had delegated responsibility, now I needed to leave these people alone to handle that responsibility.
It kept rising in the back of my mind, the terrible visions I had of the Earth blowing apart into millions of rock chunks. I did everything I could to repress them. I *had* to find something else to focus on. If I didn't, the fear, confusion and sheer magnitude of it all would overtake me. Morale. I could boost morale. If the crew's captain walked among them as they worked, showing no fear, bonding them together...they would be more efficient and less likely to panic. Gods knew everyone was probably still in shock, but minds kept busy with work could not dwell on the negative.
I entered the Bridge and crossed to the turbolift. I stopped, turned and addressed my good friends and fellow shipmates. "Thank you for being so strong in this time of crisis. I am depending upon each and every one of you to help us pull together now." Then I gave a tiny smile and entered the 'lift. "Commander Chakotay, you have the Bridge."
"Aye," he replied, looking up from the console he and Tom were studying.
My first stop was Engineering. I knew they would be hard at work. But I was pained to find them all wearing masks of horror in place of their usually rather sunny countenances. B'Elanna wanted nothing more than to go to her husband, to comfort him now, but she knew that Engineering needed her much more than Tom did. At least, for the moment. As I strode through B'Elanna's pride and joy, I spoke to each and every crewmember. They seemed to breathe a small sigh of relief as I approached them. It is gratifying to know that I can so greatly affect their views and attitudes. It's also terrifying to have that much power. Power I never asked for, yet somehow gained anyway.
Chakotay would say it's because my crew reveres me, respects me...even loves me. It seems most crewmembers view me as a mother figure. How do you like that? I've never had a baby, yet I have more children than any woman could ever possibly have in her entire childbearing years. Intimidating. Best not to dwell upon such things right now. There will be time later.
Later. Always later. My whole life was one big 'later'. And increasingly, it seemed, I was throwing pity parties for myself. I had to snap out of this.
Next stop was Sickbay, where a few well-placed smiles and touches of hand to arm earned eased minds and a grateful nod from the Doctor. Astrometrics, the Bio Lab, the Library, the Cargo and Shuttle Bays...even both holodecks, where different simulations and tests were being run to try and determine the who, what, where, when, why and how of this situation.
Many hours after I began my tour of the ship, I returned to the Bridge. "Commander, my Ready Room, please."
He dutifully left his seat and followed me, standing a respectable distance away. I sat behind my desk, punching up my desktop computer interface. "Yes, ma'am," was all he said.
"Chakotay, I want the senior staff in the conference room in," I looked at the chronometer on my desktop, "two hours. I expect detailed reports on the progress each team is making on their specified task."
"Aye, Captain." He stood awkwardly staring at me for a moment.
"Was there something else, Commander?"
He opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it again. "Well, yes, Captain. I know that you have been all over Voyager offering kindness and words of encouragement to the crew. They are extremely grateful."
"I'm glad. I have to keep their morale up."
"Yes, I'm sure you have done so. But Captain, has anyone...who's keeping *your* morale up?"
"I'm not sure I follow."
"Who's walking beside you telling *you* that everything is going to be OK?" he clarified.
"No one. I don't need that. I am the captain of this vessel."
"I know very well that you are, Kathryn. But contrary to your stubborn opinion on the matter, you *do* need reassurance, just as much as I or anyone else aboard this ship does."
I eyed him warily. "Just what are you getting at?"
He sighed. I was exasperating him. "Neither of us have eaten in a very long time. Might I suggest that we do so, at least for 30 minutes, so you and I can discuss, as captain and first officer, everything we need to regarding this disaster?"
My stomach noisily voted for Chakotay's plan. I soon found myself seated at a small table in the Mess Hall, Chakotay across from me. We ate vigorously, cleaning our plates in no time. Then he cleared his throat. I could tell he didn't want to talk to me about whatever was on his mind, but he acted like he had no choice.
"Captain, how do *you* feel about what seems to have happened here?"
"What do you mean, how do I *feel*?" I asked incredulously. Did he not know me better than that by now? He knew damn well how I felt. Didn't he?
"I mean, are you angry, upset, frightened, lost, lonely?"
I fought to maintain control over emotions that had no business clouding my mind at this moment. Why would he so relentlessly try to bring them to the forefront? Didn't he realize how precarious my position was right now? At any moment, without warning, I could dissolve into a near-hysterical woman. I struggled to keep Captain Janeway going, but Chakotay insisted upon chipping away at me, forcing me to expose Kathryn to him. He'd been doing this for years. It was all I could do to keep my wits about me.
"Commander, I don't feel this is an appropriate time for a discussion about my emotional state. We have to concentrate on solving this mystery."
He watched me for a few seconds. "Kathryn, when you *do* pause for rest some time within the next 24 hours, may I respectfully request that you allow me to join you?"
I wasn't quite sure what he was asking, but right now all I cared about was getting him off my back about how I felt. So I placated him. "Yes, that would be fine. I'll let you know." I rose and he followed me as we left the Mess Hall. "I believe we both have some work to do before the briefing."
"Yes, ma'am," he replied as he headed for the nearest turbolift.
I stood there for a few moments contemplating my first officer. He could, at times, be so tender and loving toward me that I would chastise myself for hours for not allowing us to become more than friends and co-commanding officers. Then at other times he could do as he just had, trying to get me to talk about things I didn't *want* to talk about. Why did he do that? Didn't he know it bothered me? That it caused me to retreat even further from him? I didn't do it on purpose, it was just an automatic response. My defense mechanism.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
"Let's get started," I said, seating myself at the head of the table. Fifteen people filled the room, most of them standing due to lack of chairs. They were all at rapt attention, some with PADDs, some a little dirty from whatever it was they'd been doing. For the next four hours I listened intently to, and spoke with, each person in the room. Once updates had been given, I dismissed all but the senior officers, with instructions that each team leader was to allow their members to eat and sleep in rotation so as to optimize the number of people working at any one time.
I could tell Chakotay was impressed by the added human element I'd just demonstrated. What did he think I was, a machine? It was obvious the crew were already tired, and several rumbling stomachs made it evident that they were in need of nourishment as well. I was nothing if not practical. No machine, not even a carbon-based body, can function without fuel.
"Very well," I spoke, eyeing each person seated at the table. "Thanks to the Astrometrics group we have now learned *how* the Earth and other planets and moons were destroyed." I pulled up Seven's recreation of events on the viewscreen. We all watched as several well-placed beams of light were directed at the Earth from eight different strategic points. In less than a minute the planet exploded, sending pieces of itself hurtling through space. For the moment, I ignored the ashen faces of my people. "What we need to find out is *who* and *why*. Ideas?"
Tuvok was the first to speak. "It would seem, Captain, that we are dealing with a powerful force. I would suggest attempting contact with the nearest settlements to this solar system, as well as with any other vessels within ten thousand light years. It is possible that a few people escaped. If we find them, we may find all the answers you seek."
I nodded. "Get on it." Tuvok stood and left the room as I addressed the rest of them. "Anything else?"
"Captain, I need to get to an "M" class planet for supplies," Neelix said. "You want the galley stocked, but I understand there aren't any planets left in this system from which I can gain food and other necessities."
"Very well, Mr. Neelix. Work with Seven to locate what you need. Keep in mind, however, that we don't want to stray too far until we know exactly what we're dealing with here. When the time comes, we will send an appropriately manned Away Team to the surface of whatever planet you designate."
"Thank you, Captain," Neelix replied. He looked expectantly at Seven.
"Captain," the ex-Borg began, "when I have finished assisting Mr. Neelix in his search, might I suggest that I concentrate my efforts on surrounding solar systems?"
"To what end, Seven?"
"It is conceivable that whoever attacked Earth may do so to inhabited planets in other solar systems. Perhaps we can locate them. Or follow their trail of destruction, if they leave one."
"Agreed. See to it."
Seven and Neelix left the room.
"Captain, I was speaking with Tuvok earlier," Chakotay said. "He feels that we could determine the nature of the weapons used by collecting physical samples from the debris field. His scans located a handful of anomalies which he pointed out may be nothing, but since we must be so thorough, he felt it was worth checking out."
Tom Paris leaned forward in his seat. "Captain, I think I'm your man for this one."
"Oh?" I raised my eyebrows.
"No one can pilot a shuttle through a debris field like I can," he stated earnestly. If the situation weren't so dire, I may have laughed at his boyish enthusiasm. "I can get a Science Team out there and back in one piece."
"I wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Paris. Work with Mr. Tuvok to put together the team, then go ahead. But I want you on a constant open channel with Voyager. Have someone monitoring you at all times, just in case."
"Aye, Captain," Tom flashed a smile at me as he rushed out of the room.
"Doctor? You've been strangely silent. What do you need?"
"I can replicate most of the medical necessities," the EMH replied, "I therefore don't believe I require anything further to assist in doing my work. I do, however, have reservations about Mr. Neelix's collection of foodstuffs for the crew."
"What kinds of reservations?"
"Captain, may I accompany him to the surface of whatever planet he chooses? I don't believe he should be left to bring just anything on board for people to eat. We have, in the past, had some rather...unhealthful...occurances thanks to his arbitrary use of new and unusual recipes."
I smirked. "Besides which, you have been itching to get out of Sickbay, have you not, Doctor?"
"I must admit that as truth, Captain."
"Your concerns for the health of this crew are well-founded. Go ahead and accompany Mr. Neelix. He could probably use your help to gather the food anyway. But before that I'd like you to work on creating a program in the holodeck which I feel is necessary."
I could sense Chakotay watching me. 'This one's for you,' I thought. 'I'll show you how I feel about this whole thing.'
"What program would that be?" the Doctor asked, his curiousity piqued.
"I want you to create a place where crewmembers can go to discuss their emotional state in light of what has happened here."
"You mean something like a psychiatrist or counselor?"
"Yes. We don't have a ship's Counselor, and I feel that ignoring the angst will do nothing but hinder Voyager's performance." It was funny, I could almost imagine Chakotay's eyes throwing question marks at me. He was, to say the least, rather surprised. "Doctor, these people need a place to go where they can grieve openly. They need someone compassionate to talk to. I used to hear stories about a half-Betazoid counselor aboard Jean-Luc Picard's ship, her name is Deanna Troi. She is apparently very good. Perhaps you could create someone like that."
"Aye, Captain," the Doctor said, rising to his feet. He was obviously pleased to be given such a "freelance" assignment. "I'll get on it right away."
I nodded and he left. B'Elanna looked at the commander, then at me. She had a funny look in her eyes, I wonder what she was thinking. "Captain, our warp capabilities are currently at 96%, but I need to locate some dilithium crystals to shore up our supply. I also have a couple of things in mind to beef up our warp drive and weapons system."
"Yes, I see your ideas here," I replied, perusing a PADD she'd handed me earlier in the meeting. "They're very good, B'Elanna. You have a very creative mind." Had the half-Klingon just blushed? I do so love catching people off-guard. It keeps them on their toes. "Please, do what you can to implement these changes. And after Neelix has finished in Astrometrics, I'd like you and Seven to locate that dilithium you need."
"Aye, Captain," B'Elanna smiled...actually smiled...at me as she came to her feet.
When the doors swooshed shut behind her, I turned to face my first officer. "Well, Chakotay, what about you?"
He just stared at me. I frowned. What was up with him lately? In the reverberating silence of the almost-empty room, his soft voice surprised me. "Captain, I'm sorry for staring. It's just that--you never cease to amaze me."
I half-smiled. "Really? Why is that, Commander?"
"It would take me hours to tell you why, Captain."
"Well, we have a little time on our hands now."
"We do?"
"If I recall, you challenged me to spend some time with you the next time I stopped for rest. I was planning on doing so right now."
"You? Rest?" He smiled. "Why don't I feel that is completely accurate?"
I sighed. Once again I was reminded of how well he knew me. "You're right. I was going to use one of the holodecks."
"Not for recreation."
We came to our feet in one fluid motion. He seemed to be so in tune with me. With each passing moment I was bombarded with the reasons why I felt I couldn't live without him. "No, for experimentation. I want to use Seven's recreation of Earth's destruction as a starting point," I explained as we headed for Holodeck 2. "I have to see the whole scenario. I have to see for myself how it all played out."
"I understand. Doing so may aid you in solving part of the mystery."
"Yes. I have found that actually seeing something helps me to understand it better, to visualize the event, to read between the lines and go behind the scenes. Maybe, just maybe, I'll see something."
"Four eyes are better than two, Captain. I would like to join you."
"I thought you might." I turned to the console just outside the holodeck door. "Computer, initiate program End Of Earth One."
Beep-blip. "Program is running. You may enter when ready."
The doors opened. Chakotay and I walked in, only to find ourselves seemingly walking through the blackness of space. When the doors closed, I said, "Computer, begin program."
The Earth looked huge as we stood there watching the simulation. The eight beams of light suddenly appeared. Since we had no idea where they'd originated, there was nothing at the other end of any of them. "Computer, freeze program." I ordered.
Chakotay and I walked around and through the beams, noting where each landed on Earth. Before long we were drilling the computer as to what was located at each of the beam's landing points. I was determined to figure this out, and Chakotay, I knew, was determined to help me. In the back of my mind I prayed that whatever...or whomever...had caused this tragedy wasn't coming back. With this kind of destructive capability, they'd squash Voyager like a bug no matter *how* well our weapons system was operating.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
I had no idea how many hours had passed, but my body ached and my stomach was empty once more. Neelix and Seven had located two "M" class planets three solar systems away where we could make quick stops for food supplies. Having traveled there in virtually no time, Voyager was now in orbit, and a Collection Team had beamed down to the most promising planet. Seven then worked closely with B'Elanna and found a moon in the solar system next to *that* one showed which a small deposit of natural dilithium deposits close to its surface. It seemed that Starfleet had been mining it, for there was a great deal of raw material already on the moon's surface in containment fields. We could, however, find no life forms.
It was decided that B'Elanna would gather a team and take a shuttle to collect as much dilithium as we needed. Tuvok and Tom had also put together a handful of people to collect evidence from the Earth debris field. For the time being they were going through a checklist of exactly what they would need to gather and how. Upon returning to Earth's solar system, they would be heading out to do fulfill that list.
As tired as I was, when Commander Chakotay suggested I take a break, my first instinct was to fight him on it...my first instinct is always to fight my first officer. At every turn. I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again. I was weary, there was no question about it.
"Commander, I may actually take you up on that idea."
"I'm glad. You go on ahead."
I frowned. "What about you?"
"I'll head to my quarters shortly, Captain," he smiled. "Am I not the one who's supposed to be nagging you?"
A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. "Indeed. Rest well. I'll see you in eight hours."
"Aye."
It never occurred to me that Chakotay wasn't even *thinking* about R&R. Without my knowledge, he spent those next eight hours pecking away at the simulation...fine-tuning it, adding details, answering questions, asking *more* questions. By the time I'd eaten, slept for six hours, taken a shower and dressed in a crisp clean uniform, the second-in-command of this vessel had almost completely solved the "how" and "where" parts of the equation. And part of the "what".
I was understandably irate that he'd ignored the very advice he chose to bombard me with. I stormed into the holodeck ready to drag him to his quarters by the ear if necessary. When I saw him, however, that urge suddenly disappeared. A smile the likes of which I'd rarely seen on his face lit him up like a Christmas tree. He was beside himself, but at the time I didn't know why. His happiness was infectious and I joined in as he laughed.
"Chakotay? What are you still doing here? And what's so funny?" I asked, crossing to where he stood on the other side of simulated Earth.
"I have it, Kathryn. I finally have it."
"Have what?"
"I know how they did it. I think I have an idea what they did it with. I also know from where."
My eyebrows shot up. This was beginning to sound like a bad rendition of the ancient Earth game Clue. 'Mr. Chakotay in the holodeck with the simulator,' I thought, smiling in spite of myself. "You do?"
"Yes. Here, watch this. Computer, run Earth Chakotay Twelve."
"Twelve?" I questioned.
"Yes," he flashed a brilliant smile at me. "It's taken twelve of these for me to figure it out."
I shook my head. Chakotay was insane.
I watched as Earth disappeared for a moment. The focus was now on Pluto, which was up ahead in the distance. We quickly approached, then passed it, as well as the next five planets. Suddenly we stopped and I saw eight nondescript red spheres come from behind me somewhere, ending at odd points around Earth. I was a bit confused. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to how they lined up. Luckily, Chakotay began narrating.
"I have made them small red spheres because at this point I have no way of knowing precisely how they looked. What I do know is that they couldn't have been any larger than one-tenth the size of Voyager, and possibly even smaller than that."
"Based on what?"
"Computer, pause program."
The first of the light beams had just reached Target 1 on Earth when the program halted. Chakotay, I guess not thinking about what he was doing, grasped my hand and pulled me up until we were face-to-face with the sphere and light beam.
"Based on the fact that they penetrated Earth's substantial defenses. Starfleet must have either dismissed them as non-threatening or not seen the threat quickly enough to mount a counterattack." I had to admit that his logic was sound. "I also discovered something else. Given the way Earth was destroyed, I have determined that it didn't *ex*plode as it first appeared. It *im*ploded."
I drew in my breath in surprise. "*Im*ploded, Commander?"
"Yes," he nodded vigorously. "You see, initial scans of the debris field indicated breaking points which seemed odd to me. I used Earth Chakotay Two to try and piece snapshots of different debris pieces together. It was like a giant jigsaw puzzle, but I finally got enough together to realize that the breaking occurred from the *outside* in, insted of the *inside* out."
My eyes widened.
"Then I tried to figure out how anyone could cause Earth to implode. I recalled a planet we stopped on while I was with the Maquis. Our cell became somewhat friendly with these people, they called themselves the Sajike. One night as we joined them 'round their campfire, their leader, Frachar, told us the tale of their ancestors. He spoke of another planet many thousands of light years away which had once been inhabited by his people. But that planet was destroyed by a renegade group from another world, his people called them the "Matre", which meant "destroyers" in their native language. He said it exploded inward instead of outward, creating a black hole. This black hole pulled their entire solar system into itself."
He had my complete attention. Moreso than usual, that is.
"But before the Matre destroyed their world, three cargo ships carrying thousands of people escaped. They eventually settled on a new planet, which is where we found them. They had only been there fifty years. Their leader had been but fifteen when it all happened. I remember questioning Frachar about how the Matre had caused the implosion. He said that they weren't certain what exactly was used because they didn't have technology like it. But he described it as eight separate beams of light having penetrated eight of the weakest spots in their planet's outer crust. If I recall, they even showed us some artists' renderings of the attack as seen by escaping colonists. The beams caused the magma under the surface to change somehow, and that's when the implosion occurred."
"Magma? How? Displacement? Overheating?"
"Here, watch. Computer, resume program."
I was enamored as one-by-one, beams of light emanated from the spheres and struck Earth's surface. Then we followed the last beam down to the planet, going right through the outer crust of it into the thick liquid that comprised the layer of magma. I was surprised when it began turning black from a quick cooling process. Then it hardened and every now and then I could hear it cracking...almost like ice.
Chakotay continued to speak. "The only way I have found for anything to use magma as an implosion device is if they first completely freeze the entire layer beneath the surface. Then, as you see here, the beams change in color from yellow to green. The attackers are sending the unstable native Bajoran chemical "taxis" through the beams, simultaneously switching the heat on so quickly that the magma is almost completely melted within ten minutes. Such an extreme change of temperature combined with the chemical composition of the magma and the volatility of taxis all combined to make the molecules fall in upon themselves."
"I don't understand. How does taxis change the composition of magma so completely?"
"Well, it doesn't, Captain. But the rapid heating forces taxis to destroy everything within any cells it comes into contact with. Theoretically this form of destruction could be carried out upon any subject matter, living or not. The cells are, quite literally, collapsing in on themselves. The magma layer of Earth is over half its mass...when that many cells fall in upon themselves over that large an area, the entire surface collapses, resulting in--"
He stopped speaking and we watched as the entire top crust of Earth fell into itself, creating a vortex that soon became a relatively small black hole. I found that my spit had, once more, dried up. It took several minutes for me to find my voice.
"But there's no black hole here, Chakotay. And there's a debris field. A black hole would have sucked all that debris into it."
"Not necessarily, Captain," he replied, indicating a change of angle in front of me. We had now turned our back on the black hole and were looking toward Venus...or where Venus should have been. "You see, the force of the black hole wasn't that great. And the mass of Earth caused it to be unstable as soon as it formed. My guess is that the black hole disappeared less than a minute after it formed. Some of the remnants of Earth would have gone into it, but the rest stayed behind to become trapped in the Sun's gravity and form the debris field."
"And what of these other planets and moons?" I gestured toward the places those things *should* have occupied.
"I believe the implosion may also have sent several large chunks of the Earth hurtling outward...you know how that happens...if you have the plug of a volcano, for instance. When the vacuum beneath it causes the plug to be sucked downward into the mouth of the volcano, it is inevitable that some of it will blow outwards instead of inwards."
I nodded. He was making perfect sense. I could see it all very clearly in my mind.
"I think these newly created asteroids slammed into Venus, Mars and the various moons hard enough to blow them apart. We know that both Mars and Venus are less cohesive than Earth...it wouldn't take much more than a rock the size of Voyager to take either of them out. At the right speed, of course."
"Go on."
"The only force I know capable of instantaneously freezing and then heating something is a phaser beam...but not actual phasers, of course, at least not as we know them. I believe that whoever destroyed Earth has been doing this for quite a number of years. They have perfected their attack and surveyed the target enough to know exactly where the crust is most easily penetrable. These things suggest experience. I haven't quite figured out what force they used to cause such immediate temperature changes, but a phaser beam *has* to have been what carried it. Possibly an altered phaser beam..." His voice trailed off as he became lost in thought.
I, too, stood lost in thought for several long minutes as the simulation ended. Finally, I asked, "Commander, is it at all conceivable that the Matre are here in the Alpha Quadrant? Could *they* have done this?"
Chakotay's face registered mild surprise. "Well, I--I suppose so, Kathryn. I had only originally used the story of the Matre to draw comparisons. It hadn't actually occurred to me that they could be the responsible party."
I turned to face him. "You have done a commendable job. You deserve a good eight hours of sleep."
"But Captain, I need to--"
"I'm certain we have some crewmembers who are capable of trying to locate information on the Matre in the ship's computers. I need you a full capacity, Mister. That's an order."
"Aye, ma'am." Oo, he knew I didn't like "ma'am".
"I will see to it that Tuvok reviews your simulation and recorded explanation, then begins his research immediately. Go to bed, Chakotay."
He smiled. I think he began to realize just how tired he was, though, for he seemed to sag just a bit. "Thank you, Captain. Good night."
"Good night." As he walked past me, I reached out and placed a tentative hand on his arm. "You're amazing."
A tired smile was his only response. Gods, he was wonderful. I released him and he left. I turned and stared at the debris field, the last image on Chakotay's simulation. Well, Tuvok's samples, once collected, should tell us how accurate the Commander's hypothesis was. However, even without those, I knew he was right. He'd always been right for the ten years we'd worked together on Voyager. Why start doubting him now?
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
The ship was a flurry of activity. Neelix and the Doctor returned with containers overflowing with food and seeds. Neelix, needless to say, was beside himself and the Doctor was quite satisfied that the crew had nothing to fear in the way of food poisoning. B'Elanna and her team had easily mined plenty of dilithium for our long-terms needs and were in the process of developing more secure storage units for it. I checked twice to make certain Chakotay was indeed in his quarters before making my rounds on the Bridge. I took informal reports from each of my senior officers, then requested that all Team Leaders be prepared to give me their informal briefings as well when I contacted each of them one by one from my Ready Room.
Things were progressing splendidly. Tuvok and Seven had successfully located three colonies not too far from Earth's solar system. There also seemed to be a handful of ships several thousand light years away who might be able to give us more information about either Chakotay's Matre or just what happened to Earth in general. First, however, Tuvok was adamant that we collect as many samples from the debris field as possible. To that end, we returned to orbit the area where Earth once existed. I didn't think I could ever get used to saying that. Tom, Tuvok and three science officers took a shuttle into the field. I put Mr. Kim in charge of continuously monitoring the mission before retiring to my Ready Room once more, this time to dwell on the answers Chakotay had discovered with his simulations.
My comm badge chirped only moments after I'd taken my seat. Sighing, I listened to the voice wafting over the air waves. "Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway."
"Janeway here, go ahead, Seven."
"Captain, I have been working on your request regarding the species Commander Chakotay called the Matre. I have discovered some interesting information and thought you may be wish to view it with me here in Astrometrics."
I was halfway across the Bridge before she'd even finished speaking. "On my way."
I strode into Astrometrics, butterflies in my stomach, willing for this to be the answer to the biggest mystery of all...the "who". "What have you got, Seven?"
The ex-Borg deftly keyed commands into her console. Information began appearing on the screen in front of us. "There have been many references throughout human history to the people you know as Matre. I confirmed what you told me about Commander Chakotay's experience. The Matre did indeed destroy the Sajike home planet as he told you. They have, apparently, also applied the same techniques to other planets containing high concentrations of sentient life forms."
"Do we have any idea why?" I asked quietly.
"No, Captain, there is nothing to indicate a motive. It seems to me that, if left unchecked, the Matre could very well destroy every living thing in *all* quadrants. I suggest in this case that you shoot first and ask later."
"Let me guess...you've been watching the Paris' television again."
She didn't answer. I wanted to laugh out loud. Sometimes Seven's innocence was so unbelievable that I couldn't help but find it amusing. "No offense, Seven, but I wish we could find a way to pit the Matre and the Borg against one another."
Little did I know that my offhanded statement had revitalized Seven's brain. She knew there *had* to be a way to get the two entities to fight. She just needed to think....
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
Six hours later I sat in the Mess Hall by myself enjoying a plate of food Neelix had prepared using some of the roots and spices from our recent stop. I had to admit it was delicious. I wasn't expecting the commander to join me, but found myself quite pleased when I looked up to find him towering over my table.
"Captain, may I?" His eyes sparkled once more, he seemed to have fully rested.
"By all means, Commander. I trust you slept well?"
He nodded. "I did, thank you."
"I've been thinking about your theory, Chakotay. Thinking about it a lot."
"Oh?" Did I just see pride flash behind those beautiful brown eyes?
"Yes. Mr. Tuvok has a team out now gathering samples from the debris field for analysis. I also had Seven research the Matre."
I definitely had his interest with the mention of that one word. "What did she discover?"
"Well, for one thing, she found an account of the story you told me...when the Matre destroyed the Sajike planet. She said there have been many references to the Matre throughout history. And she expressed a great deal of concern over what might happen to life as we know it if we don't stop them."
"So you're certain the Matre did this to Earth?"
"As certain as I can be. I admit the evidence against them is purely circumstantial, but I'm hoping Tuvok's little Away mission will change that. He and Seven have also discovered several colonies and a handful of ships not too far away. We're going to send teams to question as many people as possible once we're finished gathering evidence here."
"Wow, sounds like you've been busy, Kathryn."
"We all have. Chakotay, I need for you to try and remember everything you can about the drawings the Sajike showed you of the Matre. You didn't mention any kind of ships, weaponry...did you see anything along those lines?"
"It's been a long time."
"I know. And I don't mean to put pressure on you, but according to Seven it's imperative to the continued existence of anyone who's not a Matre that we bring this matter to a resolution."
He nodded as he turned his gaze inward, no doubt replaying in his mind the scenes of death and destruction caused by the Matre forces and relayed to him by the talented Sajike artists. Closing his eyes, he thought long and hard as I waited patiently. I knew it would take some time for him to recall an incident from so long ago. If he could recall it at all. A good twenty minutes passed. Suddenly his eyes snapped open with such force that I actually jumped a little.
"Spirits, Kathryn. I would never have remembered if you had not forced me to do so."
"You remember?"
"Yes!" He jumped to his feet, surprising the handful of crewmen who quietly ate their meals. "That's it! I remember now! There were three pictures of the main ship...one of the destructive objects...and even one of the Matre themselves!"
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."
I tapped my comm badge. "Janeway here."
"Captain, I have run some preliminary tests on samples from the debris field."
"Anything?"
"Yes. Much. We will be back on Voyager within the half-hour. I would like to meet with you at that time to go over my findings."
"Fine. Meet the commander and I on Holodeck One. Janeway out." I came to my feet and looked Chakotay in the eye. "Let's go."
I knew that man had figured something out, something essential to our understanding of the tragedy of our home planet. It would take time, but I was certain he'd be able to change his simulation to reflect whatever it was he was seeing in his mind's eye. He walked so fast to the holodeck that I'm ashamed to say I practically had to run to keep up with him. Well, it's not my fault he's so much bigger than me.
I could do nothing but stand idly by as Chakotay manipulated, ran, changed, reran, questioned, answered and just generally tinkered with his simulation. Unfortunately, that gave me time to turn my thoughts over to darker things. The Doctor had created a marvelous psychiatric program for the crew to use. Maybe that's what I needed to do: seek counseling.
For the sadness welled up within me like a tidal wave. All I could think of were the millions and millions of voices who'd been suddenly and sadistically silenced. No chance to defend themselves. No opportunities for last goodbyes or for redemption with whatever gods they chose to revere. One second they'd been on that beautiful blue and white planet, going about their daily tasks, talking, laughing, playing, working. And the next second...poof! Just like that, they were gone. Gone forever. Silenced.
The horror of it hit me full force and I staggered back against the holodeck doors. It's like I could feel each of their souls crying out for justice, crying out to me to make this right. I had to do it. It was up to me and this crew to avenge the deaths of so many innocents. Normally it was not the Starfleet way...but, I realized in a sudden flash of realism...
...Starfleet was no more.
I choked back a sob as I thought of my family. And even of Mark. All the Starfleet personnel, the dignitaries from other planets, the innocent children and babies, the wildlife. The beautiful green grassy slopes of my home state; the oceans teeming with life; the mountains shrouded in cloaks of white, fluffy clouds. So many, many loved ones...friends...acquaintances. Everyone...they were gone. They were gone. Starfleet...home...Indiana...San Francisco...the Atlantic Menagerie...the Tuvarian tunnels...gone. Oh, gods...
An agonized cry wrenched out of me as I fell to the floor. "Nooooo!"
"Kathryn?!?" Chakotay was by my side in an instant. But I could do nothing save lie there at his feet and sob. The sadness...the angst...the depression was overwhelming. I'd been ignoring it since that moment on the Bridge when I'd forced myself to do so. I had refused to even think about our investigation as one into the mystery of who destroyed Earth...to me, it was just another "assignment".
But it wasn't. And I was only just now coming to terms with that.
"Kathryn?" he queried more softly. I felt him pull me into his lap. "Computer, place security lock on Holodeck One, authorization Chakotay seven-one-omega-three."
Beep-blip. "Authorization accepted."
I could feel him stroking my hair, rocking slightly back and forth, rubbing my arm, all in an attempt to comfort me. But I would not be comforted. Unwillingly my mind had brought me to this moment where I had no choice but to grieve. And so I wept. I wept for the incredible loss that would ultimately affect every living creature in this universe. I wept for all the time the crew of Voyager had been forced to waste, all the time we could have been with our loved ones, cherishing our moments with them. I knew that we'd probably all be dead right now, too, but what was worse? To be killed so instantaneously or to be one of only a handful of loved ones left behind to pick up the pieces?
Chakotay spoke softly to me as my cries echoed through the holodeck. I could not understand his words and somewhere in the back of my mind that puzzled me. As I slowly began to calm down, as my sobbing became softer, I finally realized exactly why I couldn't understand him. He wasn't speaking Standard. He was speaking...Indian. The language of his people. Of his tribe. But...when had he learned that? He must have been studying it since that run-in he'd had with his ancestors. That was the only explanation.
Finally I stopped crying, but I lay there weak and helpless in his arms, clinging to him like a frightened child holds to its mother. Heaving breaths wracked my body as I closed my eyes. I would rest for a moment...for only a moment...in the arms of my...Chakotay.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
I awoke with a splitting headache borne of far too much sorrow. My eyelids were so puffy from crying that I could barely open them. I rubbed the sleepers out of the corners of my eyes and yawned. When I could finally focus on my surroundings, I realized that I was lying in my own bed. How had I gotten here? The last thing I recalled was falling asleep in Chakotay's arms on Holodeck One. Oh, gods, I prayed he hadn't actually carried me here...if someone had seen us...I would never live it down. Voyager's captain could *not* show weakness! Especially not now, in the face of this disaster.
Angry now, I sat up in bed steeling myself against the worsening of my headache. How dare he? How dare he embarrass me like--
"Kathryn, you're awake!"
I was positively seething. "Commander, what are you doing in my quarters?" I suppose if tone of voice could kill, Chakotay would be dead by now.
"Captain, we're not in your quarters."
What? I looked around...I was sitting in my bed...those were my works of art and personal effects scattered about my bedroom... "What do you mean we're not in my quarters?"
His dimpled smile confused me. He actually looked amused. "Do you like it? I recreated it for you. I thought it best that you not awaken in a state of disorientation after what happened."
"You...recreated it?" Then it dawned on me. I think my face must have turned as red as the top of my uniform. Now I really *was* embarrassed, but this time it was all my fault. "We're still on the holodeck," I stated, ducking my head to avoid eye contact. It amazed me that he knew each detail of my bedroom. It didn't occur to me to wonder how.
"Yes," he chuckled...actually chuckled! The nerve. "My apologies, Captain, it seems my idea wasn't all that good."
"Nonsense, Chakotay. It was very thoughtful." I smiled and looked up to see that face...his face...gods, my Chakotay's face...he is so beautiful...so wonderful.
"Where are you, Kathryn?" His voice was so soft I could barely hear him. He'd moved...he was very near me now, I could feel his breath in my ear.
"I'm a million miles away," I whispered in return. 'Lost in you,' my mind added. Oh, if only that breath of his would be followed by his lips...his tongue...his hands...his hands! An electric shock tore through me as I felt his hands touch my shoulders. No, not just touch...he was massaging me...like back on New Earth. Tears sprang to my eyes once more. New Earth. We should have just stayed there. I bowed my head and was soon crying once more. What was happening to me? Why was I being so weak?
"Kathryn, what is it? What have I done?"
"No, not you, Chakotay. Me. It's what *I've* done. To every member of this crew. I've destroyed any chance they had for a new start."
"What are you talking about?"
My voice seemed to suddenly stop working. "New Earth," I croaked.
I heard his sharp intake of breath. His hands became still. He knew what I was thinking. "So I suppose one of the things I have to add to the list of "Things the Indomitable and Perfect Kathryn Janeway Can Do" is fortune teller."
"What?"
"You're trying to tell me that you could have ordered the crew of Voyager to settle on New Earth."
"That's exactly what I'm telling you."
"And I suppose you were just...magically...supposed to know that Earth wouldn't be here when we returned to the Alpha Quadrant."
Well, when he put it like that, it did sound idiotic. Still, I felt responsible. I'm the one who effectively stranded everyone in the Delta Quadrant. I'm the one who condemned them to this miserable fate, with their loved ones all dead and lost to them now. It was my fault. Voyager was my ship. I was her Captain. That made it my fault no matter what.
Once more I felt him stroking my hair as he seated himself next to me on my holographic bed and pulled me into his embrace. I sighed, willing my tears to stop. This was nonsense! I had so very much to do now, we were so close to finding all the answers...and then we would have to devise a way to put things to rights. To, in effect, make the Matre...or whomever had done this...pay for their crimes. I felt odd thinking about it in terms of revenge, but even if Starfleet *had* still been there, they would have gone after the Matre for justice just like I was planning to do. I was skeptical as to our success, however. Given the capabilities of the Matre, namely being able to blow up whole planets, it was almost funny to think that an Intrepid class starship could bring them to their knees.
I knew that if anyone could do it, however, the crew of Voyager could.
Chakotay spoke softly, probably so as not to startle me. Bless him, he is the most thoughtful man I have ever met. "Captain, I have been working with Tuvok while you were asleep. With Seven and B'Elanna's assistance, I believe I have finally been able to recreate the scenario of Earth's...destruction."
No surprise there. Chakotay was nothing if not efficient.
"Seven also has devised a plan for something she said you came up with."
That confused me. "What? What did I come up with?"
"She feels that we can pit the Matre and the Borg against one another. I must say, Captain, her plan is nothing short of brilliant. We think it will work."
I nodded against his chest. "If you don't mind, Commander, I think I'll make a side trip to Sickbay. I can't very well appear in front of my senior officers looking like I must look right now."
He smiled into my hair. "You're beautiful, Kathryn, no matter how awful you look."
I laughed. "Well, *that's* reassuring," I replied sarcastically.
He laughed as well. "However, you would probably be more comfortable having the Doctor treat you here. It's a bit of a walk to Sickbay."
Yet another thing to show me how compassionate he was. Oh, how I loved him. "Yes, as usual, you're right."
"Computer, transfer EMH to Holodeck One, Section A."
"Section A?" I asked.
"Please state the nature of the medical emergency." The Doctor intoned upon materialization.
"Yes, Kathryn, I have this holodeck split into two programs. One of your bedroom and one of my simulation."
"Chakotay, you're a genius."
"Excuse me, Captain, Commander...what am I doing here?"
I smiled at the sour face the Doctor put forth. "Doctor, I look like hell. I have to meet with my senior officers very soon. Make me look...less like hell."
"Very well, Captain."
Ever the professional, the EMH worked quickly. In twenty minutes I was good as new. I looked at myself in a hand-held mirror on the night stand (he'd even gotten *that* right in the recreation!) and was pleased with the results. "Doctor, you're a miracle worker." I smiled, for probably the first time in a month.
"Yes. I am. Will you require anything further of me?"
"No, that's all, thank you. What's the rush?" I asked.
Can a holographic image blush? Well, I'd stake my reputation on it, because I swore I saw a shade of pink creep up the Doctor's neck and into his cheeks. "I'm...meeting someone for dinner, Captain."
I raised my eyebrows as Chakotay and I exchanged glances. Chakotay was the first to recover. "Enjoy yourself, Doctor. Computer, transfer EMH to Sickbay."
And just like that, the Doctor was gone.
I came to my feet. "Well, do you think you're all ready for me now?"
Chakotay stood right in front of me. "I've always been ready for you, Kathryn. Even before I met you I was ready for you."
I caught my breath as I felt the heat radiate from his presence. "Who's the one with the crystal ball now, Commander?" A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.
"I'm no gypsy!" he pouted, a gleam of mischief in his eye.
"And I'm no fortune teller. Am I?"
His mood serious once more, he shook his head. "No, Kathryn, you're not. So stop beating yourself up about this. You didn't cause Earth's destruction. What you *did* do was turn a seemingly hopeless situation into triumph by getting us home before we were all old fogeys. And now...you will do it again. Because you're Captain Kathryn Janeway."
With each of his words, I stood a little straighter.
"I told you this in the Delta Quadrant," he continued, "and I'll tell you again in the Alpha Quadrant. You are not alone, Kathryn. We, this ship, may be alone in the universe. But you...you will *never* be alone."
It was all I could do not to break down and cry again. I didn't deserve Chakotay, that much was for certain. But it seemed our lives...indeed the very essence of our beings...were inextricably intertwined. And so, we were stuck with each other. For better or worse.
In spite of the harrowing sadness of external circumstance, I was happier than I'd ever been before. "I know, Chakotay. I know." Touching my hand to his cheek, I smiled for a long while before finally drawing away. I linked my arm with his, much to his surprise, and we left my "bedroom", heading for his simulation. He discontinued the bedroom sub-program and summoned Seven of Nine, B'Elanna, Tom and Tuvok to the holodeck.
I haven't been to the movies in forever. But gathering there in the holodeck with the close-knit group that was the Bridge crew, waiting in the dark for Chakotay to initiate his completed simulation...it almost made me feel like a high school kid who was wild with anticipation over the latest Hollywood release.
"Computer," he finally said softly, "open program Earth Chakotay Eighteen."
"Eighteen?!?" I gasped.
He almost laughed out loud. "It took me a while to get it right," he replied in a rather whiny voice.
Everyone else looked at us like we had two heads. "Private joke," I said, chuckling.
"I'll bet," Tom whispered. Then I heard him "Oof!" as, undoubtedly, B'Elanna elbowed him. I made believe I'd heard none of it.
"Computer, begin program."
Chakotay took his familiar spot standing to my left. On my right was Seven, followed by Tom and then B'Elanna. Tuvok stood to the commander's left. We looked on with a gut-wrenching awe as the "movie", the recreation of Earth's final destruction, began.
We sped past Pluto, Neptune...on and on until Earth loomed before us, a giant round ball of perfection, so beautiful with its azure oceans and milky white clouds. I could even see the green and brown of Australia...there was Japan...and China...around the Earth turned, around and around...little did the people on the surface at that very moment know of their imminent demise. Little did they know... I began to tremble. Chakotay either sensed or saw my discomfort...I was beginning to lose it again. Boldly he wrapped a supportive arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him.
I could feel the eyes of the other four people upon us, but this time I didn't care.
Suddenly eight objects appeared from behind us. They were actually very similar to Borg spheres, only much, much smaller. I was struck by the odd similarity, but had no chance to reflect upon it. All at once the eight spheres were at their odd locations and then the yellowish beams of light appeared one at a time, going from the bottom of each sphere down, down, down, hitting the surface of the Earth. And we were suddenly following the eighth beam of light down.
We breezed through the Earth's outer crust, through layers of stone and straight into the unbelievably hot magma...Chakotay had even programmed the simulation to emit heat. But within a handful of minutes the magma had cooled and turned a very dark shade of gray, just this side of black. We heard it cracking as it formed into a frozen sort of lava rock. It was very, very cold.
Then the beam turned that sickening shade of lime green that made me, in a moment of incoherence, think of the old stuffed character Kermit the Frog. Before we knew it, the magma was molten around us again, that familiar shade of orangish-red...but then we were jerked back out into space and watched, each of us in our own private horror-filled minds, as the magma began falling into the core of the Earth. Without anything to support it, the outer crust soon caved in as well. I likened it to a thin sheet of ice collapsing into the water when stepped on by a careless polar bear in the frozen tundra of the Antarctic. I had seen that once in person while on an expedition to that world of ice and snow. That poor polar bear had not survived the fall.
Neither had the people of Earth.
But the simulation wasn't over. As if my horror were not already beyond comprehension, I was shaken to my very center to see what could only have been a Borg cube appear from behind us and to the right. As Earth collapsed into itself, the cube held its ground, as it were, as if enjoying the view. I know the black hole was now in Earth's place, but like a person drawn to stare at the grisly sight of a dead body laying at the side of the street, I could not tear my eyes from the damned cube.
Chakotay had released me long since. I turned to him now, my mouth and eyes open equally wide. "The Borg?" I whispered.
The simulation stopped. The silence was deafening as Chakotay nodded almost imperceptibly. "It never occurred to me, not the first time we encountered the Borg on Voyager, and not all the times since. The one picture that Frachar showed me of the Matre was not a very good one...but as I visualized it in my mind, I realized that it could only have been a Borg."
"Why?" I pressed. "What did the figure look like?"
"Well, it was largely impressionist, this artist's work. The figure was shaped like a standard humanoid, half of it was dark, half was light. And when Frachar described the Matre to me, he mentioned that they were "not entirely of flesh, not entirely of metal". It just clicked in my head...the Borg. The spheres the artists drew were also made of metal and Frachar spoke of a larger ship that looked like a box made of steel. It just never dawned on me that the Matre and the Borg were one."
Seven chose that moment to add her statement. "Captain, when I cross-referenced what I found in the ship's databanks about the Matre with historical sightings and accounts of Borg presence, it became clear that the reported incidents were more than coincidental. The Matre and the Borg are, without a doubt, one and the same."
And then I knew...I knew what had happened to the people of Earth. "Dear gods!" I moaned, looking into Seven's eyes in utter disbelief. "Were they all...assimilated?"
"There's no way to know for certain, Kathryn," Chakotay replied softly. I could tell he was doing everything he could to calm me, to avoid a repeat performance of my earlier breakdown.
"The virus," I breathed. "We may be able to save some of them."
Before anyone could answer, a voice filtered through the holodeck. "Bridge to Captain Janeway."
I tapped my comm badge. "Janeway here."
"Captain, this is Lieutenant Marx. There is a vessel moving quickly in our direction."
"Can you identify it, Lieutenant?" I asked, my skin prickling in fear.
"Working on it..."
I was out the holodeck doors and almost to the turbolift, flanked by my senior officers, by the time the voice of Lieutenant Marx was heard again. "Yes, Captain, it's--" I actually heard him gulp in fear. "It's Borg."
We were standing in the turbolift, all six of us rather close together. I swear I could see the fear register in all our faces...I even saw something flicker across Tuvok's eyes, if only for a moment. The Borg. They were coming back. Damn. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt a quick touch from Chakotay, as if to reassure me that he was there. Taking a deep breath, I strode onto the Bridge. In a matter of seconds, the replacement crew were in the turbolift and the familiar faces of my senior officers were in their proper places.
"Tom, get us the hell out of here. We need time to figure out what to do."
"Aye, Captain." Tom's long, thin fingers moved across his console like a fine concert pianist playing his Grand Piano. "I'm heading for the Mostra Nebula, forty thousand kilometers bearing 296.3."
"Good work, Lieutenant. Seven?"
She turned from her place near Harry. Harry. He hadn't been in the holodeck. The commander saw me frown slightly. Reading my mind, as he was often wont to do, he shook his head so quickly that I barely saw it. But I understood. It was something we would discuss later.
"Yes, Captain?" When the hell had Seven come down here to stand in front of me?
I steeled my resolve, pushing all my fears as far back into the recesses of my mind as possible. In a low voice I knew my crew could not mistake for anything but sheer determination, I said, "Let's hear about that plan of yours."
Tom expertly hid us in the Mostra Nebula. But we were blind as bats, unable to tell for certain whether or not the Borg cube could see us. We all stood together on the Bridge, discussing Seven's idea. I had to agree with Chakotay...Seven was brilliant. But I was so very afraid for her. She seemed to be frightened as well, but she fully understood that, if the people of Earth and the nearby moon and planet colonies had indeed been assimilated, Seven of Nine, ex-Borg drone, might be their one and only chance at returning to some semblance of a normal existence.
I didn't want to let her go. Surprisingly, as Chakotay and I stood with her 30 minutes later in Transporter Room Two, Seven put her arms around me and gave me a solid, heartfelt hug. She then looked warily at the commander, opting instead of a hug to offer her hand to him. He understood and held that hand perhaps a little longer than he should have...trying to convey, I knew, that he cared for her a great deal. She seemed to understand.
"Captain, should I meet with failure aboard the cube, I respectfully request that you read the contents of this PADD." She handed me the device. "But do not read it unless I perish or am re-assimilated."
"I won't, Seven. And I won't *ever* be reading it. You *will* return. If by no other means than the sheer force of my will."
She smiled softly. "Then in that case, Captain, I will see you soon." Taking her place on the transporter pad, she said, "Energize." Then she was gone.
Sighing deeply, I looked into Chakotay's eyes. "What have I done?"
He smiled. "The right thing, Kathryn. Come, we have much to do."
The next hour passed without incident. Apparently the Borg cube had either lost us or was waiting for us to emerge from the Nebula, for we didn't come into any further contact with them. Instead the entire ship made preparations for what was sure to be the largest overthrow of an alien species in the history of Starfleet.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
"Seven of Nine to Voyager."
I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "Janeway here."
"Captain, it is safe for you to emerge from the Nebula."
"I don't understand. Where is the Borg cube?"
"It has been destroyed. By a second Borg cube."
Did I hear that correctly? Did Seven sound like she was...smiling?
"Explain."
"Captain, it seems a friend of mine from Unimatrix Zero was in the area and stopped by to help us."
A smile lit my features as well. "Not Axum."
"Yes, Captain."
Oh, yeah, Seven was *definitely* smiling. Axum. Unbelievable. "Tom, take us out of the Nebula, bring us along side the *friendly* Borg cube."
"Aye, Captain."
The whole crew was smiling. We now had an ally...our job was going to be that much easier. When Axum and Seven came aboard about twenty minutes later, she relayed the story of what had happened.
Seven had expertly guided the Delta Flyer out of the Mostra Nebula. As she suspected, the Borg cube was waiting not one thousand kilometers beyond. She braced herself for the impact of the tractor beam she knew would not be long in coming.
Then the alarms on her panels sounded, startling her. Another Borg cube appeared. The second cube fired upon the first and it burst into flames, scattering debris everywhere. The shockwave knocked Seven off course, hurtling her back into the Nebula.
"I'm going to die," she'd said flatly, staring at the viewscreen in front of her, which spun in endless circles.
Before she could complete the thought, the flyer suddenly righted itself. She dissolved in a transporter beam...
...and rematerialized on a Borg cube.
There Axum had greeted her warmly...unfortunately, he still looked like a Borg drone. But Seven was as ecstatic as she could be, as was the love of her life. She briefly explained to him what had occurred and what our plan was to avenge the destruction of Earth. Axum vowed his allegiance to us...to me in particular, Seven later told me.
My senior officers and our guest sat around the conference table as I paced the room. This time, Harry was here as well. Chakotay had whispered to me in the hall that during our simulation viewing, Harry had been visiting the Doctor's holographic counselor. I nodded my understanding. Once this was all over, I really needed to talk with Harry, make sure he was okay. He was like a son to me and I was greatly concerned.
Seven explained her plan to infiltrate the entire Borg network with a subroutine she'd created that would knock each of them off line. In effect, she wanted to do what Tuvok, B'Elanna and I had done with the virus that disconnected each Unimatrix Borg from the hive mind. Originally her plan had been to be captured and reassimilated by the Borg, but she would have had the same neural blockers that we'd had on our mission. She knew the cubes inside and out, and was therefore deemed the best person for the job...especially since no one else aboard Voyager understood the subroutine she'd written.
But now, with Axum's promises of a Borg vessel at our complete disposal, this was going to be easy. Almost *too* easy. Then again, isn't that how life always worked? Just when things are at their most hopeless, when the possibilities of victory seem nonexistent, when the chances for complete failure are odds that even the House is taking bets on, that's when your whole world turns on its ear, smiles and offers you everything on a silver platter.
Well, this was one silver platter we were all more than willing to accept.
Looking around the room, I could sense the discomfort that some of my people were feeling in Axum's presence. He did, after all, look like a Borg. Hell, he *was* a Borg. How could I make them more at ease?
"I want you all to listen to me very carefully," I began, praying that my spirit guide would give me the right words to say now. "Given our history with the Borg, it is not unlikely, in fact it is quite expected, for some of you and most of Voyager's crew to feel very uncomfortable with Axum and the rest of our Borg allies. I would ask you all, however, to keep in mind the fact that during the years when the Enterprise NCC-1701 roamed the galaxy with Captain James T. Kirk at its helm, Klingons were Starfleet's worst enemies. They hated one another and fought vicious battles, killing many on both sides."
I saw B'Elanna flinch a little. The officers exchanged glances and I saw understanding reflected in their eyes. One look at Chakotay and I knew that my spirit guide had served me well once more.
"Now Klingons work hand-in-hand with all of Starfleet. We are at peace and we are allies. Some of us even share Klingon blood." I looked pointedly at B'Elanna Torres-Paris, who sat up a little straighter as her husband smiled proudly. "Please give the same consideration to our Borg friends. Remember, they did not ask to be Borg. They were *forced* to be Borg."
I thought for a moment Seven might cry. Axum's eyes glistened as he regarded me, almost like a child might regard its teacher. "Thank you, Captain," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"You're welcome, Mr. Axum." I smiled, so glad that he was no longer with the hive. And to think, when we first entered the Delta Quadrant, Axum could've been one of the drones we'd killed...yet here he was, not a drone at all, but a man. Well, half-man, half-machine...but we would eventually take care of that. For all of them.
"Bridge to Captain." came the voice of Lieutenant Marx.
"Janeway here."
"Captain, I'm reading another Borg cube entering the outer perimeter of our long range scanners."
I looked at Axum. "Could it be one of your Unimatrix Zero friends?"
"I don't know. Let me beam back to my ship. I will intercept them and try to find out."
Axum rose to his feet, Seven quickly following suit. "Let me come," she pleaded.
My first instinct was to say no. But I understood what was happening. When we had to destroy Unimatrix Zero, we destroyed what Seven thought was her one last chance with Axum. Now here he was, and she wasn't about to let him out of her sight. Why did that type of sentiment seem familiar to me?
I glanced sidelong at Chakotay. I know he noticed. "Permission granted, Seven. Depending on the outcome of your meeting with the new cube, you will begin the process of uploading your subroutine to the hive mind while you're there."
She was practically glowing. "Thank you, Captain." A last lingering look from her to me told me how grateful she truly was. See, Chakotay? I *am* compassionate. Well, as long as my very existence isn't being threatened, I am.
Forty minutes later, tensions ran high on the Bridge as we all waited for some word from Seven and Axum.
"We should have heard from them by now," Harry said softly. Poor Harry. I think he's had a thing for Seven for a while. Now that Axum's in the picture, I doubt Harry has much of a chance with her. Why isn't he with one of the Delaney sisters? Or one of the lovely young ensigns on this fine ship? Why? Because Harry is the quintissential case of fatal attraction. That young man always gets involved with the wrong woman. Perhaps I should speak to him about that as well. And I'll bet Chakotay could find a wonderful young lady to set him up with...
"Seven of Nine to Voyager."
I think I heard the whoosh of air as everyone exhaled. With as much as everyone held their breaths around here, it was a wonder we were all still alive. "This is Janeway, go ahead, Seven."
"Captain, we intercepted the other cube. They are friendly. Kri-char was a member of Unimatrix Zero and in charge of the vessel. However, it was badly damaged and we had to accept the remainder of their complement aboard the Hansen."
Chakotay and I exchanged confused looks. "The Hansen?" I asked. Seven's human last name?
"Yes," Seven replied, sounding more than a little embarrassed. "Axum has given his ship a name."
"I see, Seven. That's quite an honor, you know."
"Indeed."
I think everyone present was trying not to laugh. Seven was a lucky woman. It was clear Axum loved her deeply.
Regaining my composure, I asked the other question on all our minds. "Have you been able to upload your subroutine?"
A few seconds of silence seemed like an hour before she replied. "Yes, Captain. Now only time will tell whether or not we were successful. In the meantime, I would like to request medical assistance for some of Kri-char's wounded crew and..."
I knew what Seven wanted to ask for but couldn't. She wanted us to help Axum and the others liked we'd helped her. She wanted us to remove as many of their Borg implants as we could. I was more than willing to comply. But we needed a planet on which to do so. Something that large-scale couldn't be done on a ship as small as Voyager. It was another matter we would have to discuss.
"I understand, Seven. We're going to do everything we can to help them all."
"Thank you, Captain."
"Captain!" Harry cried from his position behind and to the left of me. "There's a Borg sphere headed this way. Bearing 863.78." His eyes widened. "Captain, it's humongous!"
Humongous? "On screen."
I heard Axum swear, "Damn." as the image appeared on our main viewer.
I rose from my seat and walked forward until I was standing right behind Tom. "Dear God in Heaven."
"Sweet Jesus," Tom added. "That thing is...huge!"
"Seven, Axum, report!" I barked, heading back to my chair.
"Captain, this is a transport vessel."
"Seven, it's almost as big as the Earth, what the hell are they--"
And suddenly it was like one big light bulb went on over both Voyager and Hansen. I hadn't realized what I was saying, but there my words were...could it be? "Seven? What exactly does that ship transport?"
But she didn't reply. Almost a minute later, it was Axum's voice we heard. "Captain, this is one of four Borg transports in the area."
"Mr. Axum, *what* do they transport?" I repeated.
"People, Captain. Unassimilated people."
You could have heard a pin drop.
"Where is Seven?"
"She is speaking to the drones that took charge of the transports."
Dare I hope? "Are they on our side?"
A handful of seconds later, Seven stepped into view on our screen. "Yes, Captain. She is on our side. Her name is Helene. She and her Unimatrix Zero partner Frederick were drones assigned to tend to the newly captured Terrans."
"Terrans..." Chakotay breathed. We all looked at one another. Tuvok raised an eyebrow. Harry stared at Seven. My first officer reached for my hand...I accepted his gesture. B'Elanna stepped off the turbolift and was soon standing next to her husband.
"Terrans?" I asked, willing with every fiber of my being for our wishes to come true.
Axum smiled at Seven. She turned to face us, tears spilling down her cheeks as she checked the wall panel console just out of our view. "Yes, Captain. Mostly human. There are other races, of course, approximately forty-five others. They are from the moons of Mercury..."
I inhaled sharply.
"...the moons of Venus..."
Chakotay squeezed my hand.
"...from the colonies on Mars..."
A tear escaped my eye.
"...from the colonies on Venus..."
I heard a choked sob come from Harry's direction.
"...from the colonies of Earth's moon..."
Tuvok exhaled slowly, a sound not unlike the touch of a feather to my ear...but I heard him.
Seven...no, Annika...looked up once more. "...and from Earth."
Tom made a sort of gasping sound that indicated great relief as he and B'Elanna hugged fiercely.
It was all I could do to find my voice. I held Chakotay's hand so tightly I was certain bones would be broken. "All of them, S--Annika?"
The look I received at the use of her human name was definitely meant for me alone. She was reaching out to my heart, to thank me for acknowledging her as a fellow human. Oh, I'd been trying to do so for several years, ever since the Unimatrix Zero incident. But continuing to call her Seven, I realized, meant continuing to associate her with the Borg. It dawned on me that something as simple as what you call someone...their name...can mean such different things to different people.
And it was not all me, of course. She had not been ready to accept herself as human. She had been striving to achieve that aspect of humanity which she had lost as a drone, but she never felt she'd done it. Now, however, I could see it in her eyes. In that look that was meant for only me. She was ready. She was human. She was Annika. And I had confirmed that for her.
"Yes. All of them. Every last person."
"Captain," Axum interjected, "Borg transports are used to carry unassimilated populations from large worlds to Borg facilities that can accomodate them. The ships that attacked Earth were, of necessity to the mission, too small to handle something of this magnitude. Helene and Frederick took charge of all four transports near the Neutral Zone. Then they received Kri-Char's distress signal. They brought this transport back to Earth's solar system in search of her cube."
Seven picked up the narrative. "When they got close enough, we contacted them and they were pleased to discover that we were part of the Unimatrix Zero family."
Family. What a wonderful word, I thought. And ours was growing bigger by the minute.
"The rest of the transports are safe near the Neutral Zone, manned by others of our family," she concluded.
For the first time in the ten years since we'd gotten lost in the Delta Quadrant, I cried openly in front of my crew. But I don't think any of them noticed, because they were all crying, too. Except Tuvok, of that I was certain...wait...where was Tuvok? I turned to look in his direction, but he'd disappeared. I'd have bet a month's worth of rations that I knew why. Even Tuvok has feelings, whether he wants to admit it or not.
I let it all go for ten minutes...I allowed us to feel the relief that coursed through our veins. But there was now a monstrous challenge ahead of us. We had to find a New Earth...
I looked up at Chakotay just as he looked up at me. When our eyes met, I knew we were thinking the same thing. And so we were, for we spoke the same words in unison.
"New Earth."
Annika cocked her head to the side. "Captain?"
Chakotay and I came to our feet.I just couldn't let go of his hand, and I didn't give a damn what anyone else thought. "It's obvious we need to find a place to re-settle everyone," I said. "We thought perhaps New Earth might be appropriate."
"I know of New Earth," Annika replied. "I cannot think of a more perfect place from which to begin."
"Nor can I, Kathryn." Chakotay smiled, showing those dimples of his. As I looked around the Bridge, I noticed everyone was smiling. At me. I didn't deserve to be the focal point of their happiness. They owed this to themselves, each and every one of them.
"Then if there are no objections," I said to Axum and Annika, "I suggest we proceed to the wormhole and set a course for New Earth."
I wondered briefly what Starfleet would think of my decision to move the entire populations of the destroyed planets and moons to the Delta Quadrant. But given the fact that our stable wormhole, which had gotten us back here to Alpha in the first place, *was* stable was a point in my favor. Also in favor of my decision was the fact that the Borg possessed the technology necessary to keep that wormhole stable indefinitely. Just prior to our first briefing with Axum earlier in the day, he'd told me as much when I mentioned how we got back here.
It was clear he knew what I was thinking. "Yes, Captain, we have the ability to keep the wormhole open for you. Our allegiance will heretofore be sworn to the Federation. We give freely of our technologies and our lives to the service thereof. We who were once lost forever owe our very lives to you, Captain. You and the gallant crew of Voyager."
It was then that I realized someone had opened a ship-wide channel, for as Axum finished speaking I heard every single person aboard Voyager let out a cheer the likes of which I doubt I shall ever hear again. It would work. We would all be okay. And Chakotay and I...were going home.
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
Three months later...
Bone-tired, it was all I could do to crawl into my bed of straw and leaves at the end of the day. I loved sleeping outside under the canopy of trees and stars. We had reached New Earth in sixteen days...something I'd never dreamed possible. The people who had been captured by the Borg were carefully being revived by our Borg allies. Voyager's crew worked five times harder than they ever had on the ship. There were shelters to be created, food to provide, care for those recovering from stasis aboard the Borg transports...we all had our hands full.
Now, however, three full months after our arrival on New Earth, the tide was finally beginning to turn. Most of the people from the transports were completely recovered, only a few remained on Voyager's Deck 6 which the Doctor had turned into a critical care facility. Only half-conscious from fatigue, I couldn't help but smile as I watched Chakotay draw near. As I suspected he would, he leaned over me, checking to see if I was asleep.
"Kathryn."
"Mm?" I opened my eyes right into his sparkling brown ones.
"I have a surprise for you, Kathryn. I believe I have found some folks you'd like to see."
My skin tingled. No. It couldn't be. Had he found them? I sat straight up in my bed, my weariness forgotten as my eyes peered through the darkness. "Who, Chakotay?" I asked, jumping to my feet.
He walked a few paces to my left and reached his hand out behind a large tree. I saw an arm...part of a body...a face...
"Mom!" I wailed, rushing toward her. "Mom!"
"Kathryn! Kathryn, my dear, sweet, Katie-Bird!"
I flung myself into her arms. I had feared she'd not made it, that something had happened and she hadn't been taken. I had almost convinced myself that I'd never see Mom or Phoebe again...yet here I was, hugging my mother so hard I all of a sudden wondered if I'd break her right in two. I released her and kissed her warmly on the cheek.
"Oh, Mom."
"Hey," I heard a woman's voice behind me. "None of that for me?"
"Phoebe?!? Is that you???"
Yes, it was. There she stood, smiling so big I thought her face would crack in two. I pulled both of them into a fierce hug. I never wanted to let them go again. They were alive. They were all right. My family was whole. Wait, no it wasn't. Something was missing. Some*one* was missing. I pulled away from Phoebe and Mom and turned to look for Chakotay. I saw him walking slowly away from us. No, he shouldn't leave. He should be here. With us. He had been part of my other family for ten years. No reason to stop that now.
I pulled away from Mom and Phoebe and turned to face his retreating form. "Chakotay." I could feel the eyes of my mother and my sister boring into the back of my skull.
He turned at the sound of his name. Smiling, he walked back toward me. "Yes, Kathryn?"
"Won't you stay?"
"I don't wish to intrude, Kathryn. This is your reunion, with *your* family. I am not part of that."
Self-deprecating fool. Of *course* he was part of it. I looked into his eyes, for we stood very close now. Ah...I knew what he wanted. No, what he *needed*. He needed me to affirm that. Aloud. In public. For others to hear.
"We are *all* family now, Chakotay...all of us here on this planet. Because we have all been through terrible things and have survived. We have won." He was disappointed. But I wasn't finished. "But you, my gentle warrior, you are part of *this* family." I gestured to where Phoebe and Mom stood. "Part of *me*."
That's all he needed to hear. The most beautiful smile I'd ever seen radiated from him as he stepped around me and headed for the other two Janeways. "I don't think we've been formally introduced," he said to Mom, stretching his hand out to her. "I'm Commander Chakotay, your daughter's first officer..."
I could only look on in wonder. I guess Chakotay's and my relationship was getting serious. After all, I'd brought him home to meet my mother...
THE END
Stay Tuned For New Earth II
How will the massive populations deal with starting over again on New Earth? And what of the Borg? Did Annika's subroutine work? Have they all been disconnected from the hive mind? Can the Borg allies be "fixed" and returned to the way they were prior to assimilation? Did Kathryn make the right decision in bringing everyone to New Earth? What will the short- and long-term consequences be? Does Starfleet even exist anymore? All these questions and more will be answered in the next episode of "Star Trek: New Earth".
