It wasn't quite accurate to say that this was a world without magic. There did exist true love in this land, even if Storybrooke's corner of it was absent much of that particular emotion, and that was the greatest magic of all. This land also had other magics; miracles, triumphs of the spirit, smiles in the face of disasters, giving with nothing expected in return. These were all magics of a type. This world was a land without control of magic, but that didn't mean it was a world devoid of it.
Rumplestiltskin could feel the magic, but it was locked behind a glass case like the valuables of his shop. He could look at it but not touch and not manipulate. But he was always aware of it. Which is why as he hiked through the woods purposefully, Belle following behind even though she should have kept up easily, he felt the shift of things. The curse was broken.
"Wait," Belle said, "Mr. Gold, can't we sit down for a moment."
He exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. The curse was not broken but nothing had changed. Oh, people could leave Storybrooke now and time would move on, but the memories were still absent.
He turned back to Belle, beautiful even in spite of the tangled hair and hospital scrubs. Her eyes, somehow even more blue than he had remembered, were looking everywhere with curiosity. "Are you tired, dearie?"
"A little. I'm just not used to so much… there's so much to see and it's overwhelming."
His heart constricted at the memory of her first few months with him when she had always been looking around and investigating things with her eyes. She never snooped or imposed herself where she wasn't meant to be. But those eyes were taking everything in and she was always thinking. Between her observant nature and her voracious reading, Belle was a brilliant young lady. She hadn't much in the way of formal education, not as much as she would have had if she'd been born male. But she'd been taught to read, a necessary skill for the lady of a merchant land who would need to read contracts and correspond with royal envoys. She'd taken that skill and used it to see the world from a library.
"Just a little further, we're almost there."
This was the plan. This had always been the plan. Take the true love potion to the waters and use it to return his access to magic. Once he had that he could find Baelfire. That's what he wanted. That was the only thing he ever wanted.
Except for one brief moment when he wanted something else. Someone else.
"Belle," he whispered, hoping that she would respond. For a moment he considered kissing her, but for True Love's Kiss wouldn't work with curse memories. If that was all it took Snow and Charming would have woken up by now. And magic wouldn't be enough either. The only way to bring those memories back was in his jacket pocket.
True Love was the most powerful magic, but it had limits. He couldn't use it twice. Either he could have his magic and find his son or he could restore Belle's memories. It should be a simple decision. On one hand was power and Bae, the result of hundreds of years of precise planning brought to fruition. And on the other was giving Belle back the memories of a world where they loved briefly, only for him to ruin everything before the Queen captured her. Those memories would probably lead her to hate him forever.
At this moment Belle was a blank slate. She'd fallen in love with him once, although he had no idea how that had happened, but maybe he could make it happen again. He'd do things better this time. She wouldn't have to clean or cook. He would serve her this time, anything that she wanted would be hers. He'd use magic to give her the riches and to take her around the world. Once they had Bae the three of them would be a family. And if he was lucky enough to have her love him again he would never push her away.
The choice should be easy, but it wasn't. This girl may have had Belle's body, but it wasn't his Belle. Even if he had her it wouldn't be the same. He couldn't leave the woman that he loved in this state. She might hate him forever if he restored her memory, but he would hate himself if he didn't.
In the end, it was the thoughts of Baelfire that made the decision. He imagined what the boy would want him to do and it was clear. Chose love over power. Find happiness instead of worrying about the plan. All Bae had ever wanted was for the father who he cared about, the simple man who cared nothing about power, to return.
"Come along," he said, "we're almost there."
Rumplestiltskin waited at the well for her to join him. "This is a special place," he said, allowing his hand to rest gently on her lower back. "These waters can return things that are lost. They will return your memories to you."
Belle looked up at him, confused. "Will I remember you?"
"Yes," he said, bitterly. "I don't know that they will all be good memories, but I will be there."
Time seemed to still as he dropped the potion into the well. Belle tensed next to him and leaned on the stone of the well for support. He closed he eyes, waiting for the slap to come.
"Papa?"
It wasn't Belle talking but Bae. The boy, for even after all this time he was still the same boy who had disappeared into the portal, was standing behind them. Belle gasped. "Is this your son?"
"Yes, but..."
It was impossible. Everything was impossible. Belle moved first, walking to Bae and taking him in a hug. "I've wanted to meet you for so long, but I thought it would never happen. I'm Belle."
"Baelfire," the boy said, wrapping his arms around her in response. "Where are we?"
Belle and Bae spent the walk home talking about themselves. Belle told Bae how she had met his father and how he had cheated at chess. Bae told her about how his father had taught him the game and how he would always let the child win. Rumplestiltskin didn't talk at all, just limped behind them in awe of the miracle that had happened. Slowly, he began to look at the magic, examine it the way he would a puzzle. By the time they were all settled in the kitchen, Belle freshly showered and dressed in a pair of Gold's silk pajamas, Rumplestiltskin had figured it out.
"Baelfire, when you went into the portal, where did you want to go?"
"A land without magic," he said, a mouthful of scrambled eggs.
"But what else did you want? Did you think of a certain time or thing you wanted to happen?"
"I just wanted you to not care about power anymore."
Rumplestiltskin laughed, a deep laugh unlike the impish giggle of the dark one. Belle was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Portals are tricky things," he explained, "they can take you through not just space but also time. But you have to think very specifically about where and when you want to be. And it just so happens that the time Baelfire wanted to go to didn't exist until this afternoon."
That night he tucked his son into the guest room with a kiss on his forehead and then tried to do the same with Belle. "You stay in my room tonight. I'll be downstairs on the couch if you need anything."
She grabbed his wrist. "I do need something. And I'm not going to get it with you downstairs."
"Belle-" he was cut off by her mouth on his, tentative and nervous as would be expected after what happened last time. As she pulled away he reached for her, pulling her against him. She was too thin and pale from her confinement, but she was also reaching her hands around his neck and stroking his hair.
"I love you," he said, as he left her lips, kissing her cheeks and jaw and neck. "I am so sorry, Belle. I never should have let you go. I never should have pushed you away."
"Shhhhh. Tonight isn't for apologies. Tonight is a celebration."
Tomorrow he would have to start work on breaking the rest of the curse. Tomorrow he would have to decide what to do with Regina to pay her back for keeping Belle from him.
No.
Tomorrow they would do these things. The three of them together, as a family.
