The world is two distorted splotches of light and he hears sounds that he is sure mean something but don't. His limbs are uncoordinated pillows and his skin is sticky. Harry Potter wonders if some spell has finally managed to fry his brain. His only comfort is being held from time to time and knowing his friends are still with him.
He screams the day he realizes he is a baby and the sound in "Tom".
-o-o-
The first year drives him mad. He just can't move or talk properly. He refuses to be held and instead focuses in regaining some motor control. Maybe that's why people never remember their first three years, to forget the humiliation. Some days he can't help but cry and rage of impotence. The caretakers of the orphanage keep their distance from him. It is okay, he really does not feels like hugging anyone.
-o-o-
He remembers Hermione telling him terrible things happen when you change the past. Sometimes, for an instant, he considers being Voldemort. He knows he can't, he won't. Maybe... maybe this is an opportunity, a chance to change everything. Maybe...
-o-o-
It seems 'Tom hunting' is as popular as the old 'Harry hunting' ever was. He knows all the tricks of the sport, having played against Dudley and the Death Eaters. Still is not enough. One day, as some of the older boys had trapped always-weird-Harry he wishes for the old accidental magic that took him to rooftops. His teachers are not amused, again.
-o-o-
He can't wait for Dumbledore to come and pick him. He will tell him everything. And then, they will make everything all right: Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Fred, Mom and Dad. He'll love having a real family. His attempt to send him a letter didn't go well. He'll try again when he is a little older.
-o-o-
He trains his magic with the same desperation he used for getting potty-trained. It turns to be a lot more simple. His body is always too stiff and sticky, but magic... magic is an old friend. He never realized some many thing about it last time, how it moves, and flows, and changes. Maybe he is in love.
-o-o-
Harry (Tom) hunting again. But this time, when he is backed into a corner he decides not to repeat the roof trick. Using so much magic left him dizzy (and his back still hurts from the punishment he received). Instead, he shoves. The result is a lot more satisfactory (and attracts less adult attention).
If Harry learned something from the Death Eaters is that you don't let bullies bully you.
-o-o-
He finally managed to send a letter to Dumbledore. He can't wait for his old headmaster to come and rescue him. Still, it is taking some time. He remembers that the man received Petunia's letter. Is the same system still working? He really hopes it does.
-o-o-
His first instinct is to kill the snake. There is an horrible instant of terror when he remembers Nagini and the basilisk. Then he remembers a very friendly boa and calms down. Only to realize he is talking to a snake. He almost steps in it to avoid the horrible truth.
He is glad he doesn't, the snake is not afraid to have adult conversations with a child, and is a lot more friendly that the other kids.
-o-o-
He sends the letters to Dumbledore more of habit that anything else. He learns to pickpocket to pay for the stamps. He also learns that a little push of magic helps in getting peoples attention. And he needs all the help he can get. It is hard to be taken seriously when you barely reach the counter.
-o-o-
School is boring. Of course he already knows how to read and write. However, teachers don't take kindly to him being distracted in class. His math teacher in particular is way to fond of that cursed rule of her. It doesn't matters if he has already finished all his problems or not, if she catches him looking anywhere that is not the blackboard or his notebook there will be a punishment. He can't doodle, nor daydream, nor look as if he is bored. Nor can he feel bad when her precious rule catches fire.
-o-o-
One of the kids received an old yo-yo. Nothing remarkable, except that it is the same pretty red that Neville's remembrall had. The same red that turned him into a seeker. The other boy doesn't knows how to play with the yo-yo. He spins around madly, hitting everything in his radius with the poor toy. Harry 'confiscates' the toy. He can't let Neville's remembrall be treated like that.
-o-o-
Books make fin think of Hermione, footballs of Ron, and red ribbons of Ginny. There is an harmonic that sounds just as the old flute Hagrid gave him. He knows that what he is doing is not healty, that he spends too much time reading, that he is too cutting with the other kids, that he spends too much time talking with snakes.
But he is lonely.
-o-o-
And now he is angry.
He had been looking forward to to camping trip, to the break of routine. He was ecstatic when Amy and Dennis asked him to go exploring with them. It would be just like old times, the Golden trio in a new exciting adventure. He is so giddy that he decides to show them a little bit of magic, give them all a secret to join them. Instead, they are scared, terrified, they call him a demon, tell Mrs. Cole he is possessed.
-o-o-
He is scared of being sent to an asylum, he remembers too much about shock treatments.
-o-o-
He is ten when he stops sending letter to Dumbledore. He will come soon, eventually. And then all the years in the orphanage wont matter. Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Fred, Mom and Dad, Ron and Hermione. Those are the things that matter.
-o-o-
He really doesn't recognize Dumbledore. He is so much younger and smiles so much less. And he is kind of nervous, Mrs. Cole cached him talking with a snake yesterday in his room, and there was too much shouting. He is way too tired to greet the old man properly. And way too happy to stop chatting.
Of course he hates being called Tom, how could Harry Potter not hate Tom Riddle? And of course he knows magic exists! As a matter of fact, isn't Dumbledore proud of him, of how much he has learned? Now now one will die, they will all be happy. Isn't he happy?
Dumbledore isn't.
-o-o-
He should have expected that. He mutters as he walks trough Diagon Alley. Dumbledore never cared about little lost boys. If he did, Why did he never answered his letters? Where was he in the Chamber? In the graveyard? In his fifth year? Why didn't he protected Snape? Why did he left him grow with the Dursleys? Dumbledore never cared, he left him face danger alone over and over again. He just appeared to claim the glory after Harry had done everything.
It doesn't matter, he'll protect everyone. He never needed the old man.
-o-o-
Old friends make up for false friends, he thinks as he pockets his new wand. The wand is yew, but only because it was the first to emerge. The important part, the core, is just the same. He smiles, hearing Fawkes song in his mind. It is symbolic, what really matters, with wands and people, is the core, not the flesh.