EVS: - I got bored so I began writing this series of one-shots to relieve it. Holidays get boring without something creative to do……… like making my own charcoal.
Shard: - And so we start with the ever needed disclaimer. Errant does not and will probably never own Stargate: Atlantis.
EVS: - On to it then!
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Kavanaugh Must Die!
Drowning is a peaceful way of dying for all except the drowned.
"No no no no no no no! Take it easy with that you idiots!" Kavanaugh yelled at the poor noobs carrying the mysterious Ancient device. Despite the fact the noobs were carefully carrying it to the labs; Kavanaugh was torturing them with his horrible screeching voice. During one very short rest break the noobs were granted by Kavanaugh, one of the noobs contacted a fellow who organised a trap near on one of balconies the noobs were due to past very soon.
Once they got close to the balcony, Kavanaugh tried to bustle them along faster when a noob retorted,
"If you're so concerned about a little device like this, why don't you carry it instead of getting us to carry it?"
Kavanaugh growled, "If you came to Atlantis to admire the sunsets, instead of trying to understand an ancient civilisation then you shouldn't be here. If so give me that!" Kavanaugh snatched the device from the noobs and immediately slipped and fell off the balcony, plunging into the water below. The trap had consisted of a wet floor that Kavanaugh, who had become seriously arrogant since the arrival Daedalus, would ignore. He sank quickly due to the weight of the device, cursing himself for not taking swimming lessons when a mechanism on the device was activated and an inflatable dingy appeared underneath it. Kavanaugh made a grab at the dingy but it made its way to the surface to quickly. In the end, Kavanaugh resigned himself to sinking.
Meanwhile on the balcony.
"Do you think we should go after him?" One of the noobs asked.
"Let's wait an hour. If he's not up by then we'll tell Weir." The other said. "I'm hungry. Go to the mess hall?"
"Sure." The noobs left the balcony. In a later report, Elisabeth told Stargate Command Kavanaugh disappeared on a mission on an uninhabited planet. The device turned out to be a floating drinks machine.
Fin
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EVS: - Hate it or love it please review.
Shard: - Any suggestions for deaths would be appreciated.