Which Direction?
This is a Oneshot I wrote in Cammie's POV. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Ally Carter
I scanned the heads around the Rosewood streets, searching for the familiar face of Zachary Goode. We had just finished our Cove Ops mission- to lose the tail that was following us. Zach and I were partners, but we had to split up halfway through to be less easily recognized. Now, after successful completing the mission, we were supposed to be meeting the rest of our classmates at the bus parked in front of the town hall.
It was the day of the Rosewood Farmer's Market and the street was closed off and filled with stands selling food and tons of people milling about. The crowd had worked to our advantage during the assignment. It is much easier to blend into a crowd than anywhere else. But now I was angry at all the people because I could not find Zach anywhere.
Suddenly, I saw a dark head duck around a corner not too far away and I moved forward, sure that I had spotted him. However, as soon as tried to step into the street, a strong arm grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.
I whirled, immediately getting into a defensive position. But I could not have been more surprised to find myself looking into the familiar eyes of Josh, my ex-boyfriend.
"Cammie?"
"Josh?" Crap, there goes my cover of pretending he's got the wrong girl. But hey, even spies get surprised sometimes.
I hadn't seen Josh since he walked out of the Gallagher Academy with his memories all whacked up because of the tea my mom gave him. I thought he had forgotten all about me. No, not thought, hoped. Not because I don't like him. Because he doesn't deserve to be plagued with memories of a girl he can never be with.
"I really need to talk to you," he said, looking down at me with such vulnerability that although the spy in me was screaming NO! the girl in me was the one that opened her mouth and said,
"Yeah, okay."
"Here," he took my hand and pulled me to a bench. We sat down and there was a moment of silence as we took each other in.
"Wow, it's really you," he said, flashing me a quick, adorable smile.
"Look Josh-" I said about to question what 'you' he is referring to.
"-No, Cammie, wait. Let me talk first." He took a deep breath. " I remember you. I remember the way we met, when I bumped into you. I remember the dates we went on and I remember how mysterious you always were. And I remember finding out what puts the exceptional in the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Woman."
There, he said it. I had been trained to deal with situations like this, but right now my mind was a blank.
"Uh, well Josh…" I trailed off searching for the perfect response that I could not find. Possibilities flew through my head. Deny it? Pretend he's crazy? Knock him out and drag him to the Academy to get drugged again? As tempting as that sounded, I knew there was only one thing I would be capable of doing in that moment.
Tell him the truth.
Someone once said that when you fall in love with someone for the first time, you never truly stop loving them. For the first time, I realized how smart that person was. No matter what separated us, no matter what Zach and I became, there would always be a part of me that loved Josh Abrams.
"Josh, you can't tell anyone this."
"I know and I promise I won't. I just thought that maybe since I know the truth about you now, maybe we could still… you know…" Now it was his turn to trail off. But despite my incredibly high IQ, I was not getting what he was trying to say. "Look," he continued. "There's this party at one of my friend's house Friday night and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go with me?"
Oh, so that's what this is about. I honestly did not know what to do.
This was my chance to get back to what we had. To be the careless girl with a romantic secret. To flirt, have fun and not have to worry about staying alive. I wanted it, I wanted it bad.
But I knew it wouldn't be possible to be that girl again. Not without giving up the spy girl. I had learned from mistakes that it was impossible to live a double life. I couldn't do that to Josh, not again.
So, for a second, I wondered. I wondered who I would be if I wasn't a spy. I wondered what it would be like if I went to a normal school with normal classes. I wondered what it would be like to have a boyfriend who you didn't have to worry about stabbing you in the back. Literally.
But that second was all it took to realize that I could not- no, did not want to- be that girl. I'm not a girl and a spy. I'm a girl who's a spy. Being a spy is part of me. Cutting that out of my life would be like ripping off an arm or a leg. And that wasn't all, I loved being a spy. Whether I was born into it or not, I know I would've ended up on this path no matter what.
"Cammie!" It was Zach. I looked up to see him walking towards us from down the block. He was doing his best to get to us quickly, but the crowds were slowing him down. It was funny, watching someone as graceful as Zach getting pushed down by an old woman chasing after her grandkids.
I looked back at Josh. Sometimes, when you really love someone, you have to let them go.
And that's the realization that made me say, "I'm sorry Josh, but no thanks. It sounds like fun, though. You should definitely ask someone else."
I watched as his hopeful face fell and my heat ached. But then he smiled.
"Yeah, you're right. After dating a girl like Cammie Morgan, it's really hard to move on, but I know we're completely different. You have your secret life and I have my normal one. I guess it was too much to hope that we could spend them together." And with that he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. "Go save the world for me, 'kay?"
I smiled. "I'll do my best." I stood up to go, just as Zach reached us.
"Cammie, what are you doing? We're going to miss the bus!" He said, shooting a death glare at Josh.
"Zach, it's fine, I was just leaving," I reassured him. "Bye, Josh." He waved back at me and Zach and I walked away.
Zach slipped his hand into mine. "Who was that?" he asked, concern dripping from his voice.
I laughed. "He's just a friend." And I loved how right that sounded. I knew I would probably never see Josh Abrams again, but I also knew that I would never forget him. I loved what we had, but it's over now. Both of us choosing separate paths to take. His, most likely leading to college, a degree, a family and a home. Mine, leading to danger, mystery and secrets.
And I also knew, with absolute clarity, that that is the only life I would ever settle for.
I hoped you liked it! Please review! I promise it'll make my day!