"Harry, I am your father."
"N- Wait… Does that mean I get to leave the Dursley's!?"
"No, I'm going to kill you."
"But Daddy, I love you!"
"No! Love! I'm melting, melting, melting!" Voldemort turns into a bubbling black puddle on the floor.
Harry looks down on the puddle, then dusts his hands off, saying, "Well, my work is done here. Hey Ginny, want to get married?"
"Of course I do, Harry!" She grabs his hand and runs out of the building into the courtyard where Ron and Hermione are sitting and talking.
"Hey guys, guess what!" Harry cries.
"We're getting married!" Ginny adds.
Ron stands up and looks blankly at Harry and Ginny and slowly says, "So… Ginny, you're marrying Harry?"
"Uh-huh!"
Ron blinks blankly back at them. Then he turns to Hermione and pulls her up next to him and asks, "Hey Hermione, want to marry me?"
"Um… Do you promise to be nice to house-elves?"
"Oh no, not spew again!"
"It's not spew, its S-P-E-W!"
"Are you going to marry me or not?"
"Fine!"
And they argued happily ever after.