I sighed tiredly and said, "Ok, I'm going solo."

The guild froze.

My "Team" froze.

And I… I stood up and walked away.

I grabbed a mission, got it approved, and left before anyone had a chance to say anything.

2 Years Ago… (And a little further to the present, chronological)

My heart was slowly breaking…

The return of Lisanna was a momentous occasion, which might have been an understatement, everyone was ecstatic… I was too of course. But as a consequence of not having known her before she "died" I didn't get the pleasure to know her now. There was always a crowd around her when she was in the guild; guild members happily asking her to tell them stories, to laugh and remember the good old days (which I didn't share), and to just… "Hang out" (a term that was used to often in the guild nowadays).

Whenever I heard the term "Hang out," it was implied that I should leave. I did not share their memories, so I was not included in many, no scratch that all, conversations, missions, and anything else that involved with Lisanna.

It hurt… so much.

To be forgotten by my own team on missions.

To be pushed aside by members of the guild when they were "hanging out" with Lisanna.

To be forgotten on my birthday and important anniversaries.

To feel replaced.

The only time my team acknowledged me was when they were telling me to move out of the way so they could sit next to Lisanna or to leave because they were talking with Lisanna. It hurt that the guild barely acknowledged my presence… but for my team to ignore me for so long… It made me feel like a toy they were distracted with while their favorite was just drying from the wash.

I waited… and waited… and waited… until I finally gave up.

What confused me the most though was the fact that the people, who came after me, came after Lisanna died besides myself were never left out. They were always with that crowd that was surrounding Lisanna. No one ever told them to leave or to wait… they just got to stay… while I was kicked to the curb.

When I had finally accepted that I was no longer going to be "apart" of the guild anymore I felt better, not that the pain wasn't still there but I felt more at ease.

I took solo mission after solo mission… but no one seemed to notice my absence.

Days…

Months…

Years… Had passed and still no one acknowledged me yet.

It was pretty depressing if you thought about it. I was 19 and I still hadn't had my first boyfriend, I mean sure I had a couple of one night stands to numb the pain but nothing serious. I was no longer that peppy cheerleading cosplayer, but a more mature, borderline emo/punk, self.

My usual displays of femininity were nowhere to be seen, instead replaced with decently modest clothing, the complete opposite of my old style. My blonde hair had random streaks orange mixed in, a color close to Loke's hair, and my brown eyes were highlighted with heavy lines of black eyeliner and black mascara. My crop tops were replaced with a variety of graphic tees and my miniskirts were replaced with skinny jeans. My footwear now lent towards combat boots instead of high heeled boots. Black fingerless gloves now decorated my hands. My belt that held my keys was no longer brown but black, go figure, and held a slightly different Fleuve d'etoiles (whip). As an added scare factor for when I was on missions I put on fake snake bites, which I had actually considered getting done but couldn't bring myself to do it. I also got the desired effect I received from my fake snake bites from the swirling pattern of tattoos that covered both of my arms and continued to peak up from underneath my T-shirts and on either side of my neck, ending with a star and moon one displayed on each side.

Needless to say my style had changed, no one had noticed but I had learned over time not to care.

Some may ask as to why I was still in this guild if it had hurt me so much? Honestly… even though he only looked at me when I personally came to him… the Master was why I stayed. Every time I had come over the past two years to request my leave, he had adamantly made me reconsider… not even giving me a chance to speak in our brief meetings naming all of the reasons I shouldn't leave. The reasons were all things I didn't care about anymore though, I felt no emotion with the reasons he presented… but the fact that he was on the verge of tears every time I came to him again made me back down, only the Master could evoke at least that much emotion in me now.

The bright side, if there even was a bright side, to my seclusion was the strength I had acquired with each passing mission I conquered. Another awesome aspect was that when my levels had exceeded that of regular missions I had started to take S-class missions, when you were invisible it was easy to sneak up to the second level and snatch missions that would go unnoticed by the other S-class mages. At one point I had taken a six month S-class mission that turned out to be boringly easy, which was my most recent mission.

I had a lot of time to think by myself, like always, and it finally dawned on me… why don't I just leave the team? I mean it wasn't like I was even on the team anymore physically speaking but on paper I still was.

I went through with my plan… And damn! It felt so liberating!