Disclaimer: I own nothing, never have, never will.
Spoilers: The promo for The Crimson Hat
Her scream of surprise was still ringing in his ears. He had to do it, it was the only way. In vain he was trying to convince himself of that fact. Though his actions had broken his own heart, he was still sure he had no other way out. He had to keep his priorities straight, though they had shifted somewhat over the last decade. First of all he needed to keep her and the team safe, then came the revenge. And it seemed the only way to do this was to hurt her, both physically and emotionally. It was for her own good, but he still felt guilty.
Shooting her in her office like that, would mar his conscious for years, he was sure. It had been after hours, and there were no one else around. He had made sure the night guard was close by so she'd be found, he couldn't just let her bleed out and die.
With this action he had proven himself to Red John. The man couldn't possibly question his loyalty now, right? This was something "the old Patrick Jane" would have never done. He had shot Lisbon, the probability of this was too big for his mind to truly comprehend as something he had in fact done. His head was still spinning. The hurt look on her face and in her eyes when he had pointed that gun at her, and the surprise when he actually pulled the tricker, it was too much, he felt sick, this whole thing was slowly killing him inside. But he kept on telling himself that he had to be strong, this was a necessary evil. Nothing more than a trick, he had to become evil to catch evil. He had tried everything else. This was his last resort.
At the moment he was sitting in a crappy motel, anxiously awaiting a phone call. When it finally came, it still startled him. He picked up his new disposable cell and answered it. "Patrick Jane," he said, and he could almost hear the person on the other end of the phone smile widely.
"Hallo Patrick" the eerie voice said "Are you ready for the next step?"
A/N: I know it's an open and vague ending, but I really have no idea what could happen next. I guess from this you'll gather that I'm on the 'it's-a-long-con-Jane's pulling-he-would-never-otherwise-point-a-gun-much-less-shoot-Lisbon' boat, I just can't imagine he would ever voluntarily go to the dark side. That said I'm soooo excited about the finale! I have high hopes that it can measure up to last year's finale! We'll just have to wait and see, not long now.