Title: Cry

Author: Bemidia

Rating: T (For language… I think.)

Disclaimer: I don't own these lovely boys, though if I did, all they would ever do is shag.

Warning: Here there be gay men… Get over it, or don't read this. Other than that? Some angst. Also, I don't remember writing this… I stumbled across it on my hard drive.

"If I had just one tear
Running down your cheek
Maybe I could cope
Maybe I'd get some sleep
If I had just one moment at your expense
Maybe all my misery
Would be well spent

Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me"

Cry by Faith Hill

Upon seeing the tall glass tower that was Wolfram & Hart, he decided that it simply couldn't be Angelus. Sure the windows were vampire safe, but Angelus liked to lurk in the darkened hallways, and stone dungeons of his youth. The mansion had been proof enough of that.

Though, upon seeing the bright, almost cheerful, yet carefully detached foyer, he was beginning to have doubts that it was Angel either. He took a long look around.

"Can I help you, sir?"

"Yes." He turned and looked at the receptionist. "Harmony?"

The blonde looked lost, but that was certainly nothing new. "Do I know you?"

"Xander Harris." Xander gave a small smile. "Aren't you a vampire?"

"Xander? Oh my god! Xander! You're looking like Indiana Jones these days." Harmony beamed at him. Xander's skin had darkened way past the point of California tan, his hair was just scraggly enough to be sexy, but not scraggly enough to scream "Psycho!" and a black eye patch Harmony was dying to check and see if it actually had a purpose. "Yeah, I'm a vamp, but Angel gave me a job here."

"Cool." Xander nodded. "Speaking of Broody, is he here?"

"He normally is. Hold on, I'll call his office." Harmony picked up the phone, and pressed a button. She listened for a long moment, then frowned. "Hm… He's not in at the moment, but he was here earlier, so he should be back soon. If you go to the 50th floor, he has a small lounge, you can wait there." Harmony motioned to the elevator.

"Thanks, Harm. I appreciate it." Xander flashed a blinding smile, then turned to the elevators just as they opened, and Angel stepped out. Followed by Spike.

Both vampires stopped dead in their tracks. Angel was the first to recover. "Xander?"

"Angel, Spike. " Xander nodded a greeting. "Got anywhere we could talk in private?"

Angel nodded and led him into a nearby conference room. Spike followed silently. "What's going on, Xander? Giles told us you were in Africa."

"And he was right. I was in Africa." Xander nodded. "However, when he informed me of you asking for help, and what he thought of the matter, I hopped on a plane here."

"Why?"

Xander's eye flickered to the now silent Spike. "Because I don't think Angelus has the patience for dealing with lawyers, and, hey, I was right." Xander smiled. "Anyway." He put his bag down on the table, and opened it. Angel looked mildly surprised when he started pulling books and papers from it. "This is everything Giles had on the Circle. You're welcome. I gotta go. Giles wants me back on a plane to England before tomorrow afternoon."

"Why are you here, Xander?" Angel narrowed his eyes.

"I've had a couple run ins with the African branch.. I made some friends, a couple of informants. You guys shouldn't being going into this half-assed and completely unprepared. So when Giles told me he thought you were Angelus again, I came anyway." Xander's eye flickered back to the blonde vampire. "So happy hunting, I'll be on my way." He turned to leave the room when Spike grabbed his arm.

"We need to have a word, Whelp." Spike tightened his hold on the boy, and suddenly and quite strangely, found himself pinned up against a wall, staring blankly at a furious brown eye. He tried to break Xander's hold only to find he couldn't budge.

"Keep your hands off of me, Spike." Xander glared down at Spike. "I have nothing left to say to you."

"Xander…" Spike winced.

"No." Xander shook his head. "Not doing it, Spike. Not again. I came because I don't think anyone should go into battle unprepared. I also came because I still care about you, but don't mistake that for me wanting to care. I stopped wanting to care a long time ago, right about the time I woke up in the hospital with one eye, completely alone. Only to find out from Faith that you had merely dropped me off in the E.R. and went to comfort Buffy because she got kicked out of the house."

Angel drew a sharp breath.

"She needed someone." Spike glared back, but there was something behind the ice blue eyes that looked hurt.

"And I didn't? I got left in a fucking public place, where anyone with half a brain would think to look for me after that battle, and no one there. Not my lover, not Willow, no one." Xander took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." Spike looked ashamed.

"You're not forgiven, Spike, because I still don't know which was worse, waking up with no one there or finding out I'd been a stand in." Xander shook his head. "I've spent my entire life being The Zeppo, the gopher, second best, and the stand in. I've spent years fighting the same fight as everyone else, and having them look down on me like I'm useless. It tore me to shreds to find out that you were just using me. I wasn't going to take that from anyone ever again, and it ended the moment Sunnydale sunk into the ground, along with you." Xander's chocolate brown eye had darkened to near black in his fury. "Why don't you call Willow and ask her the last time I talked to her? Not since she went to Argentina a year ago. You should feel special, Spike. I flew across an ocean and a continent to help you. And it'll be the last thing I ever do for you. If you survive this suicide mission of Angel's, good for you. Go to Italy, hit on Buffy. At least I won't have to be around to witness it anymore. If you live, I'll actually be happy, because I don't wish you harm. But if you die… Well… I've already learned how to live without you, haven't I, William?" He pulled away from Spike, who could only stare at him, shell-shocked. "Sorry about the drama, Deadboy. By the way, Harmony's two-faced, I hope you didn't tell her about your plan."

"I'll keep that in mind." Angel was staring at Xander as though he'd never seen the boy before. Which, he guessed, he really hadn't.

Xander turned to open the door.

"I love you." Spike was on the verge of tears.

Xander paused, and looked back over his shoulder at the vampire. The agonizing pain on his face made even the demon in Angel's skull wince in sympathy. "No, you don't. But thanks for saying it." He watched as the tears finally dripped down Spike's face, as the words he'd spoken to Buffy were thrown back in his face. Then he opened the door and walked back into the lobby. "Bye Harm. Thanks for your help."

"You're welcome. See ya, Xander."

"And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
When all my resistance will never be distance enough

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love"

Wreck of the Day by Anna Nalick

R&R, please.

I'm aware that it's bad. So no flames.