Something Like Love
A Mimato One Shot
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I'd catch a grenade for you
Throw my hand on the blade for you
Jump in front of a train for you
You know, I'd do anything for you
-x-
It wasn't the most unconventional of arguments, but it was a little disconcerting. He was really good at hurting her feelings. And he knew exactly how to push her buttons. Even if she wasn't looking for a fight, it was almost as if she would get one anyway. Even when he wasn't trying to argue, it was like it happened anyhow. When she would try to zig, he would zag. When he swerved, she crashed. They were opposites like that, so it seemed inevitable they would disagree on something so simple.
She was throwing her things into an overnight bag when Yamato finally got their bedroom door unlocked. "What are you…" the sentence died on his lips, a menacing glare cutting him off.
Tears glistened along her cheeks, her eyes still wet. "I'm packing." She seethed.
He walked over to her, "Mimi, stop." He took a blouse out of her bag.
She snatched it away from him. "Don't touch my things." She spat. "And get away from me." She shoved his chest.
"Stop, will you just tell me what's wrong?" He asked, completely confused.
Mimi narrowed her eyes up at him, "If you don't know, that's all the more reason for me to leave." She sucked back a sob.
Matt took a step back. "Mimi, please just. Just talk to me." He was practically begging her.
She zipped up the bag. "Ha." It was a mirthless laugh. "How many times have I said those exact words to you?" She demanded. "And how many times have you looked me in the eye and walked out of the damn door!"
His shoulder slumped. "I'm…sorry." He wasn't really sure what he was apologizing for. He just needed it to be okay.
"Matt, you still really don't get it." A sob wracked her body.
Followed by so many more.
Matt didn't really know how many, he just knew that this was the girl he loved more than anything and she was crying. And it was all because of him. So he just walked over to her, and he put his arms around her, the way he would have done any other day.
Except this time, she recoiled. "Don't." Her voice quivered and she wrapped her arms around herself.
He pulled his hands up. "Mimi, I just…I really need to know how to make this better." He would do anything, say anything. He just needed to understand.
Mimi stared up at him, her eyes red rimmed and her skin blotchy. "Do you love me?" Her voice was hoarse, it was barely above a whisper.
Matt didn't skip a beat, "Yes." He answered, as soon as she got out the question. "You know I love you." He impressed.
"No, I really don't." She shook her head.
He pulled a hand through his hair. "Can we talk about it?" He asked, this wasn't a conversation he wanted to have in the doorway of their bedroom. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have at all.
She couldn't hold her resolve. Finally she bowed her head, slowly walking over to the bed. Mimi dropped her bag at her feet, and methodically sat on her bed. Slowly, Matt sat beside her.
Mimi put her face in her hands, "Where are we going, Matt?" She finally asked. "What are we even doing here?" She begged.
Matt squinted at her, still confused. "I-I don't know what you mean, baby." He said gently.
Mimi sucked in a shaky breath. "How long have we been together?" She asked.
"A while…" He breathed out.
She rubbed at her face. "Since I was eighteen, know how long that is? Eight years, Matt." She answered for him. "Know how long we've been living together?" She asked.
"Two years." He raised a shoulder.
Mimi nodded. "And do you know what you told me today?"
He swallowed, "No." He answered, uncertainly.
"You said, you don't—" She couldn't finish it, her eyes began to tear. "You don't want to marry me, Matt. You said you never do." And there were the sobs again, they came from her very soul, the physicality of her heart breaking. Over and over again. She couldn't hold them back and she'd given up on trying.
She was hurting, and it wasn't the kind of hurt you could wish away. Or fix. Stitch up or medicate. It was the kind that was impossible to define. It couldn't be described. It could only be felt.
Matt knew what he had done know, the realization hit him hard, the breath living his lungs. "Mimi I…" He couldn't finish it. He realized there wasn't anything her could say to make this better for her.
She held up a hand, the other shielding her eyes. "I heard you, Matt. You said, "I don't think I ever want to get married."' She repeated.
Matt dropped his head. "I just meant that I don't—
"No, you don't want to marry me. You don't want me forever. And God, I can't hate you for that." She cried. "I really can't and I won't. But I refuse to waste any more time, not with someone who doesn't see a future with me." Anger, resentment, sorrow, pain—it was all so incredibly evident in her eyes.
"Mimi, I never meant that I want you or love you any less." Matt promised. "I want to be with you for as long as I live, I know there isn't anyone else, I just don't see why marriage is so important—
"I want a wedding, Matt…I want the church, and the dress, the ring and the cake." She shook her head. "I want everyone we love to see how much we love each other. And God, Matt, I've seen it." She said, so incredibly sad.
"It's summer and there isn't a single cloud in the sky. The church is quiet, except for the piano. Sora walks in first, then me. I see you at the end of the aisle, and I can't help but stare at you as my Dad escorts me down. And in my dream, I can't help but think of how much I love you and how glad I am we're starting our lives together." She can't help but feel as though this is her, letting go of that dream. "I've envisioned every single thing about that day, and a lot of things have changed. But you, it was always you." She couldn't imagine spending her life with anyone else.
Part of her wondered if this was where she had to give up on the ideal of marriage all together. Because being with Matt, meant they'd never get married. But being without him, meant she would have to be alone. Because she knew, in her heart of hearts, that she could never replace him. No one would compare, she'd never be able to feel this way about anyone again. Maybe that's what angered her the most, that even though she could never push him into marrying her, she wished he would want to.
Matt felt tears in his eyes too, but he quickly shut them away. "Mimi, I never meant to say that I wouldn't be willing to marry you. If it makes you happy, we can get married a hundred times over. I just meant to convey that I don't really agree with it." He said softly, putting a hand on her back.
Mimi stared at him. "That doesn't really make a difference." She shrugged hopelessly. "Matt, I want you to want to marry me. I want you to want a family with me and grow old with me and I can't help that you don't –
"But I do!" He interrupted. "Don't you see that? I want all the same things as you, Mimi!" He wished she would listen to him.
"But you don't want a wedding. You don't want a…wife." She stared away, her throat burning.
Matt let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't understand the big deal." His parents had gotten married, they only ended up getting a divorce. Clearly, a piece of paper wasn't that binding.
"The big deal? The big deal is I want to have kids, who don't need to wonder why their parents aren't married. I don't want to go to Christmas parties and work events when I'm thirty five and still introduce you as my boyfriend. When I say reservation for two, I want to be able to say it's for me and my husband." She pulled a hand through her messy hair. "I want, I want to be Mimi Ishida. And I want you to want it too." She whispered.
Matt caught her chin. "I love you, Mimi." He said, directly in her eyes. "I don't care if we have a piece of paper saying its forever, I already know we're always going to be together." He told her honestly. "But I am willing to do anything for you. I want whatever you want, if you want a big wedding, we'll do that. If you want a whole brood of kid, we'll have those too." He had a small, playful glint in his eye at the thought of that.
"All I want, Mimi, is to see you happy. It's that simple. And I will do anything to keep you happy, okay?" He stroked her cheek.
She looked away.
Carefully, he pulled her to his chest, holding her against him. "I'm sorry, Mimi." He said into her hair.
She breathed in and out, hoping to calm herself down. "Don't be." She mumbled.
"I really hate it when you cry." He said truthfully. "It kills me." He couldn't stand to see tears in the brunette's eyes, not even for a second. He regretted he was the reason for it, most of the time.
"I know, but Matt. This doesn't change anything…" She trailed off, pulling away from him. "You still don't really want to—
"Mimi, I do, I want to marry you." He insisted.
She shook her head. "You don't want me to leave, which I appreciate. But I don't want you to do something you don't wanna do." She would never want him to compromise his happiness for her. But she knew she would for him in a heartbeat. She always did.
"Mimi, I just meant that marriage…it doesn't hold things together forever. Love does." He clarified.
"Just because you sign a piece of paper and change your name, doesn't mean you can't change your mind. People get married only to get divorced a few years or even months later." Maybe he was so pessimistic because he came from a broken home, but he just thought that some things didn't work out. Not if they weren't meant to work out.
"So you think we'll end up getting a divorce?" She asked earnestly.
Matt shook his head. "No, baby, I'm not saying that." He wished he could take back the comment he made all together. "I just mean that you're the one for me, you're my girl. You know? And that's not going to change. And I know that. So I really don't need the church or the government or the state telling me something I already know." He said honestly.
Mimi inhaled deeply. "So you want to be with me forever?" She asked slowly.
Matt nodded. "I want to be with you forever." He repeated.
She reached up and placed her lips over his. It was a sort of peace offering. One to show that the fight was over and she believed him. Maybe she still had some doubts, but for the most part, she knew he had the best intentions. And whatever happened next, it would also be for the best. If they got married, if they didn't get married, she knew it wouldn't matter all that much. Though she sincerely hoped it would be the former.
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A/n: Something that hit me, I'm not sure how it turned out. Feedback's always nice. Polar Opposites is in the works, I'm really trying. No deadlines, no guarantees, no excuses, only just that I'm trying.
Hopefully you guys enjoyed this, the lyrics come from a Bruno Mars song called "Grenade."
Thanks Loves!
-Chris.