Disclaimer: Nope I don't own them…but it is a nice dream don't you think? I just like playing in his sandbox.

Spoilers for 5.16 – Dark of the Moon – Don't read if you haven't seen it yet, you've been warned!

Thanks Kas for the beta job. Hopefully I caught all the mistakes!

Please let me know what you think, reviews are like little Reese's peanut butter cups or chocolate. Thanks for reading even, if you don't review!

The Great Gig in the Sky

I couldn't believe that something with such a profound sentimental history had, in a blink of an eye, evaporated into nothing. Feeling detached and numb, I stared at the piece of metal as the weight of the world plunged onto my shoulders. Voices crammed my mind with broken promises, ripping away my equilibrium. Sammy, my baby brother, was finally dead and in his place stood a stranger. Had I killed my baby brother? Am I responsible?

No longer could I pretend that everything would right itself again. No longer could I deny that I had spun a fairytale, creating faith that my family adored me as much as I worshipped them. No longer could I even focus on figuring out who was to blame. Sometimes you just have to admit how much you have screwed up and find a way to move on. Sammy had vanished years ago, only I had never bothered to notice he hadn't really needed to include me back into his world. Instead circumstances and threats had forced us back together. Worse yet, guilt had been the latest dictator in charge of his actions.

No, it was clear he had only decided to stay out of some misguided guilt for me selling my soul to bring him back to life. What is dead should stay dead. How stupid of me to forget the most important rule of hunting. Yet, how could I have let my brother live his life truly alone? Wouldn't that make me a hypocrite?

Clarity finally punctuated my foggy brain and the lyrics of Journey's "Separate Ways" had a new profound meaning. I wondered, "What else have I been deluding myself with all my life?" Family should mean something; they should be the only ones that you can count on never to walk away. Blood should pull you together, shouldn't it? Or had my foolish need to never be alone distorted everything, creating false beliefs or realities.

If Lucifer weren't an issue, would we have separated? And for the first time, I wondered if we had ever belonged together. Funny how two of my most cherished memories had involved my family, but not one of Sam's had included me. Worse, two of his most cherished moments involved my worst nightmares coming true. I wasn't a complete, utter idiot, I understood that Jessica would be his most important flashback, but that not one included me…I felt sucker-punched in the gut.

Then it struck me like a ton of bricks: Sam, not Sammy. How many times had he told me? Only I wasn't listening. How could I have not noticed that my baby brother didn't like me? How many times did I need to be hit over the head before I allowed it to soak in? Every time praise was delivered in my direction by Sam or Dad or they had demonstrated they liked who I was, they were possessed, or worse, they had wanted something…something that only I could have provided.

So I stopped listening to Sam, and I took a step forward. I manage to grab several things before I headed out the door. The necklace dangled off the edge of my fingertips, and for a split second, I hesitated before finally allowing the necklace to drop, forever forgotten, putting my fantasy to rest. It was time to stop being a punching bag, admit ownership in my mistakes but mostly time to let go of a dream that had never had a chance to live in the first place…right? Could I do it, could I really let my brother go? I could never stop loving him, but was it time to finally set him free?

A/N: Hit that review button and let me know what you think. I'm a fan of both boys. I working on Sam's point of view but I don't like it yet.