A/N: Well, hello again. New story. Amazingly it's only rated 'T' for slightly slash and implied child abuse. Again, I own nothing. CBS owns it all and won't share. -pouts-
"I'm going to count back from five. Five, four, three, two, one. And wake!"
Reid faintly heard the hypnotherapist count back and then felt his eyes fly open. His heart was racing and the hands holding him were constricting. He struggled to get free, starting to panic. He pressed against the settee, trying to shrink into himself.
"Reid! Reid, it's okay!" Rossi's voice preceded his face. He wrapped his arms around Reid's flailing limbs and made sure to make eye contact.
Reid slowly focused on Rossi, still shook up. He cringed slightly at the contact and looked away. He knew what was coming…
"Reid, what did you see?" Rossi watched Reid flinch and tears filled Reid's eyes. He glanced at the hypnotherapist and motioned that he had it under control and she could leave them alone. He waited until she left the room to pull Reid up and settled next to him.
Reid stared down into his lap, not wanting to meet Rossi's eyes. "He…He…" Reid swallowed thickly. He shook his head blindly. He couldn't say it. He felt himself begin to shake, and closed his eyes. It didn't help though; the images were burned into his mind.
Rossi thought for a brief second before wrapping an arm around Reid's shoulders and pulling him against himself.
Reid struggled for a moment, not used to being hugged and perceiving it as a threat. He calmed down after a moment and just clung to Rossi, slightly confused as to why Rossi even cared. "He…" Reid knew he had to get it out, had to tell someone… "He molested me…" His voice shook as tears made their way down his cheeks. His voice was muffled in Rossi's chest, but he knew he was heard.
Rossi froze, not sure if he'd heard right. He felt Reid tense up, most likely in fear and knew he was right. That son of a bitch. He quelled his fury and just held Reid tighter. Nothing he could say would fix seeing your father molest you, and then leave you. "Did you see anything else?" He fought to keep his voice gentle.
Reid swallowed again and took a deep breath. "He was burning bloody clothing. A blue dress shirt and pants." His fingers curled as he clung tighter to Rossi. His breathing was slightly erratic. "Why…why would he hurt me?" He lifted his head to look at Rossi, his eyes shining with unshed tears. He sounded and looked very young.
"I'm not sure, Kid." Rossi's voice was blunt, but apologetic. His heart clenched at the look of absolute pain in the younger boy's eyes. He kept his arms around Reid, waiting for him to break the contact and pretend he was all right, like always. This whole damn case was a bad idea…
The tears started flowing again and Reid threw himself at Rossi. "I…I thought fathers were supposed to protect their sons, not touch them sexually." His voice was shaking as badly as his body by this point. Logically, he knew the statistics of fathers molesting their sons, but statistics meant nothing when it was you, your pain. He clung to Rossi as if he was afraid he'd leave if he let go. He started to breathe faster, coming very close to hyperventilating.
Rossi pulled back slightly to look Reid in the eyes. "Reid, calm down, take deep breaths." He slowed his own breathing and exaggerated it so Reid could copy it. He kept his eyes locked on Reid's, watching him closely.
Reid tried to follow him when he pulled back, until he spoke. He tried to even his breathing out, but couldn't. "I…I c-can't," he whimpered. He then shifted and put his head between his knees, squeezing his eyes shut.
Rossi rubbed the back of Reid's neck, waiting for him to calm down, at least enough to breathe normally. He took the moment to glare at the wall, trying to release a bit of his anger. He could never understand how parents could do that to their children.
Once his breathing calmed enough to speak, he did. "Why…why are you doing this? Being nice to me, I mean." He kept his head down until his legs started to shake. He then lifted it and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure if he could handle Rossi's anger right now.
Rossi was stunned. Sure, he wasn't the friendliest of people and the kid got on his nerves sometimes, but he hadn't realized he had Reid thinking he hated him or something similar. "Because despite what people seem to think, I'm not heartless. I do happen to care about the people I'm close to." His tone was matter-of-fact.
Reid just stared at him for a moment, before making a bold—and possibly stupid decision. He leaned forward and crashed his lips against Rossi's. He stayed like that for a nanosecond before pulling away after feeling Rossi tense up. "I…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. That was stupid." His face burned as he tried to stand up, stumbling in the process.
Rossi caught Reid around the middle after overcoming his shock. That was the last thing he'd expected from the boy. One minute Reid thought he hated him and the next he was kissing him. Then again, that was probably the speed at which Reid's mind worked… He pulled Reid back down and kept his arms around Reid's thin waist. "That wasn't at all stupid. That was a reaction to stress. You were trying to bury your feelings in a distraction, me."
Reid stared at him for a moment, acutely aware of the arms around his waist. "Have we switched places? Normally I'm the one spouting out things like that…" He let out a pathetic attempt at a chuckle, still feeling…what was he feeling? Confused, ashamed, scared and dirty summed it up pretty nicely. The feeling of shame shone through his eyes vividly. He looked away after a moment, not sure what to do.
Rossi lifted a hand and laid it on Reid's cheek, turning his face back to look at him. "Do you really want this?" His voice was gentler than it'd ever been in the time he'd been back at the B.A.U. He watched Reid's responses closely, looking for any signs of fear.
"I…I don't know what I want, anymore. I just want it all to end. I don't want to feel dirty anymore…" He glanced down at his hands, which were folded in his lap. He could feel the beginnings of the cravings starting. He'd been told that stress could bring them out…and well, this was stress. He lifted one hand to scratch at the inside of his elbow.
Rossi noticed that and pulled the hand away gently. "We don't have to do anything," he pointed out. He held onto Reid's hand, feeling it shake.
"I'd be leading you on," Reid pointed out. He sounded, and looked hopeless, and still confused. Part of him wanted nothing more than to cling to Rossi and break down.
"And I've been led on before. Hell, I've even done some leading on in my day." He chuckled softly before running a hand over Reid's face. "Without thinking and musing, what do you want more than anything right now?"
"Part of me wants to kiss you again and the other part wants to…wants to cling to you and break down," Reid answered, honestly. The last part was spoken rapidly and he shifted his eyes away, flushing.
"Which part is louder?" He pulled Reid closer, carefully.
"The part telling me to kiss you…" Reid squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for rejection.
Rossi chuckled deeply. He lifted Reid's head and pressed his lips to Reid's. He knew this was wrong, but hell, wasn't he the reason for the rules? So why the hell would he care? He'd found Reid attractive since the first time he saw the boy in his office with Prentiss and Morgan, looking through his things.
Reid jumped briefly before kissing back. He shifted closer to the elder man, pouring all his emotions into the kiss. His fingers clutched at Rossi's shirt, digging in.
Rossi wrapped his arms around Reid's significantly smaller frame, running a hand up and down his back. He felt the tremors still shaking Reid's body. He pulled away from the kiss to gently brush his lips over Reid's neck. He whispered nonsensical words of comfort to the younger boy.
Reid curled up against Rossi, burying his face in the man's neck. Tears streamed down his face again, wetting Rossi's neck and shirt collar. It'd been a long time since he'd cried this much… Damn his father to hell for causing him this pain. This hurt worse than everything Tobias Henkel did.
Rossi ran his hand through Reid hair and gently rocked him. "He can't hurt you anymore, Reid, you know that," he murmured.
"I…I know that, logically, I'm out of his age range. But that doesn't change what he did. And I'm going to be able to see it clearly until the day I die." There was a large part of him telling him to find drugs, and that the drugs will make it better. And that made this whole thing even worse.
Rossi gently pulled him to his feet. "Come on; let's go talk about this somewhere else." He kept his hands on Reid's arms until he was steady.
Reid followed Rossi out of the office and back to the car silently. He didn't look up, even when he felt Morgan's eyes on him. He just slid into the back seat and curled up, buckling his seatbelt. He shut his eyes and waited to get back to the hotel.
Morgan gave Rossi a worried look, to which Rossi just shook his head. He turned to look at Reid and saw he had his eyes closed. He decided to stay quiet and let the boy relax a bit.
The ride back was silent until Morgan spoke up. "Did you find anything we can use, Reid? About your father?"
Reid paled and visibly recoiled. "I—I…I…" He shook his head frantically, not able to get any words out. His nails dug into his legs as his eyes slowly got wider. His breathing picked up again and his eyes flew to Rossi, begging for help.
"Damn it, Morgan. Learn the meaning of tact," Rossi ground out before unbuckling his seatbelt and maneuvering into the back seat. He pried Reid's nails out of his legs and pushed his head between his knees. "Deep, slow breaths, Spencer." He didn't even seem to notice the slip, unlike Morgan. Rossi held onto Reid's hands tightly to keep them from becoming embedded in his legs again.
Reid struggled to get free, wanting to just curl up in shame. "I'm...fine…Just get back to the hotel…" he gasped. The images of his father sliding his pajama bottoms down and his hand disappearing into his underwear assaulted him, making him whimper. His body began to shake again and he squeezed his eyes shut.
Rossi lifted his head. "Reid! Look at me." His voice was sharp, mainly to break through the flashback. He made sure to have full eye contact before he spoke. "You're not there. He cannot hurt you. You are stronger than him."
Reid flinched, remembering the last time he'd heard those exact same words. He forced himself to appear calmer, just to get Morgan to drive again. "I'm okay; I just want to lay down." Every part of him wanted to curl up against Rossi, but he knew that was impossible at the moment. He pulled his legs up to his chest and closed his eyes.
Morgan sped up and pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. He pulled Rossi out of the car and glared at him. "You better tell me what that was about. Now, Rossi." His voice held a note of warning.
"It seems we were more correct on the profile of his father than we'd thought. Or than Reid had hoped." He folded his arms across his chest. "Any more details are going to have to come from Reid's mouth. But give him some time, damn it." His tone and body language was very protective.
Morgan nodded. "Fine. Also, don't think I missed you calling him Spencer."
Rossi shrugged. "He was more likely to react to his first name," he responded, dismissively. He stepped back and walked back over to the car. He opened the door, leaning down. "Reid, we're here. Come on."
"Don't leave me tonight," Reid begged, keeping his voice pitched low. He didn't understand why he was throwing himself at Rossi for comfort, rather than Morgan, but he was. He uncurled slowly and stood. His eyes were bloodshot and the rest of his face was too pale. He kept his arms wrapped around himself as he followed Rossi inside. He headed straight up for his room, not saying a word.
Rossi followed the younger male, allowing the silence to settle between them. Morgan had decided to go back to the station and also call Hotch, so they had some time. He watched as Reid unlocked the door and curled up on the bed. He went and sat on the edge, not sure where Reid wanted him.
Reid watched Rossi settle on the edge of the bed and frowned, He gently tugged the older man over and curled up against him, closing his eyes. He rested his head on Rossi's chest, desperate for comfort.
Rossi wrapped his arms around Reid, pulling him even closer. He pressed a gentle kiss to Reid's temple. He stayed silent, pondering where they were going to go from here. He wasn't the best at relationships, and he knew Reid deserved someone that wasn't as…fucked up as he was. He sighed silently, feeling oddly like he was taking advantage of the younger boy.
Reid nuzzled his cheek into Rossi's chest without opening his eyes. Slowly, his body relaxed and he could open his eyes again. He wasn't sure what to say, or what he wanted, even. He did know he didn't want to be alone tonight…and didn't want to have to explain everything. Morgan would ask too many questions if he woke up from a nightmare. Rossi…Rossi just held him and told him it'd be okay. "Uh…Do you, um, mind staying with me tonight? I really don't want to be alone…" He braced himself for rejection.
"Of course. There's nowhere else I'd rather be." Rossi ran his fingers through Reid's hair before adding, "Besides. Morgan's a bed hog."
Reid went slightly red at the first comment before outright laughing at the second one. "I know, why do you think I try not to sleep with him?" He leaned into the hand going through his hair and settled back down, exhausted. "…Thank you."
"Any time," Rossi replied, gently. He held Reid as the exhaustion took over and he drifted off to sleep. He then pulled out his phone and sent a simple text to Hotch.
There have been some new developments we should discuss when I get back.
He set an alarm on his phone and settled down himself, turning the lights off before pulling the blankets around them. He pressed another kiss to Reid's temple. He then allowed sleep to overcome him, sure about one thing only.
There really was no other place he'd rather be.
A/N: My muse is strange. XD It threw this into my mind and refused to do anything else until I wrote this. But! I have a new Hotch/Reid oneshot in the works, a J.J./Garcia oneshot, then next chapter of Past Connections and two other chapter-fics. So keep a look-out for those. Reviews are nice, and...I hope you enjoyed!