Special Lessons

Summary – "if you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will." This is rather Depressing...R/R pls

Author's Note – I got inspired by a story and decided to write about it. I just don't know why I chose the two characters I chose. I'm weird. Anyway, this fic is slightly AU...in the sense that...uhm well, read and find out!=)

Diclaimer – Anything you don't recognise is not mine, okay? The quote in bold is from Abraham Lincoln, k?

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He was the 'bad guy', the loner. Behind his cold-stone face, everyone at school guessed there was nothing, actually, but hatred and ruthlessness. Everyone at Hogwarts feared him in some way. Some even said he was soulless –

But was he really?

I am a preacher's daughter. Full of understanding and love not only for myself, but for others. I think, and am willing to believe in the best in everyone. My father always quotes me, "if you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will."

While others think of Sirius Black as evil and uncouth, I wanted to believe that he wasn't.

I guess that's why some people think I'm a fool, they think that trusting others too much is a weakness and that it will bring my downfall. But every person has a story, a past. Every person whether totally evil, or totally good, deserves to be listened to.

It all started when one day, Sirius came to me. I'm a pretty good student and give remedial classes to those needing it. His charms teacher thought his grade was deteriorating and if he didn't get the average marks for the assessment coming up, he would have to go back to 6th year.

I was surprised by his move, but agreed to help him, while silently hoping that I would find out why he was so bitter towards life. I tried to talk to him while teaching him, but his cold glare was enough to tell me that he wasn't there to socialise.

I didn't want to give up yet, there was some good in him; I wanted to see it. I did everything I could to do make him open up. I always smiled at him, spoke gentle words to him, encouraged him to keep up his great work when he was progressing and even sat next to him during meals. We never spoke during meals, but I thought that it would make a difference in his head if he was not eating alone.

But he was still cold – polar glacial, actually – and not once did a smile creep up upon his handsome face.

I was beginning to give up and started to think that maybe my father had been wrong. Maybe Sirius was evil incarnated and being hated and bad actually pleased him. Maybe he liked seeing first years scamper off each time he rounded the corner. Maybe there was no good inside of him. Maybe the words 'love' and 'compassion' don't exist in his dictionary. The only thing he seemed really passionate about, was his motorbike.

We were in an empty classroom one day; I was showing him how to cast a spell properly and watched him as he imitated me. I couldn't believe that such a beautiful person on the outside could be so rotten on the inside. This was not right.

Finally I asked him, 'What do I have to do?'

He looked at me curiously and raised his eyebrows.

'I have tried everything, Black,' I explained, 'everything in my power to understand you, to know the real you. But you don't seem to understand that I want to be your friend. So what do I have to do?'

He looked at me and shoved his wand in his pocket. 'Nothing.'

'So that's it,' I asked. 'You just want me to go on living with the thought that what I have believed since I was a kid is just crap? You want me to believe that not everyone is good at the heart?'

No reply, he just looked at the ground.

'Fine then!' I shouted, losing my patience. 'Tell me that what my father has been telling me practically all my life is wrong!'

'At least you had a parent to teach you something,' he said bitterly.

'Wha –'

'You really want to know what's up with me, Evans?' he asked. 'All you people talk behind my back and think I'm a creep, but you know nothing about me actually!'

That was the longest thing he'd ever said to me.

'That's because you don't ever let anyone get near you!'

'Want to know why I'm like that, don't you? You and your faith, always there for others,' he spat. 'Well, how would you feel if you were in my place? How would you feel if your parents had abandoned you at the orphanage when you weren't even a day old yet? How would you feel, Evans, if had never had anyone but yourself to count on?'

I just stood there, my mouth dropping open at the revelation. 'I'm sorry,' I told him. 'I didn't know...'

'No one knows, Evans,' he said as he stomped out of the classroom.

After that day, I made an effort to speak to him everyday. Even though he didn't seem to want to talk and even though he never replied. I just sat there and talked to him about everything and nothing.

Very slowly, but surely, I was being able to break through his core. I could feel it. He was giving me a small smile each time he saw me now and even chuckled at my silly jokes every now and then.

Until one day, he proposed me to go on a ride with him on his motorcycle. I was happy that he did. We had a wonderful time that day and while we were returning to Hogswart, he was driving at an unearthly speed. The wind was whipping through my hair and he was driving so fast that I was afraid my hair would be ripped out. I was scared and told him to slow down a bit. He didn't and just told me that he liked speed. At least that's what I understood through the howling of the wind in my ears.

A few moments later, he shouted, 'Take off my helmet!'

'What?' I shouted back, not quite getting his point. 'Are you crazy?'

'Take off my helmet and put it on!' he shouted again, keeping his eyes on the road. 'It's bothering me while I drive!'

Even though I was quite dubious about it, I accomplished his wished.

'Give me a hug,' he shouted.

'Will you slow down if I do?' I asked.

'Maybe.'

I gave him a big hug.

Then he shouted. 'Thank you so much, Evans! Thank you so much for teaching me how to love!'

-v-v-v-v-v-

The next day, there was a story in the Daily Prophet about a motorbike crash. According to the reports, the brakes had been broken. There was only one survivor out of two.

Me.

Sirius had noticed that the brakes were broken. He also knew that I would have freaked out if he had told me. So, instead, he told me to take off the only helmet that he had off his head, and to put it on my head...so that I could live, and he died.

Now, at school, the words going around about him are "he was not that bad after all".

I had looked for the good in Sirius Black...I got more than I had bargained for.

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Author's Note – So? So? So? Did you like it? Review, pls...