Chapter 1: Please Wait While We Connect Your Call
I woke up to an odd feeling. I had the day off due to a snow day in Texas of all places. That had to be a sign of the apocalypse or something. I picked up my cell phone and was going to call my friend to see if we were going to still have that potluck.
"Yo, man we still…" I began.
"Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm from the earth assistance center!" An energetic woman said over the phone.
"Oh, I'm sorry… I misdialed…" I began.
"I'll be there in a minute," she said.
"Wait! I…" I tried to argue fruitlessly.
Suddenly the mirror in my room began glowing! The power suddenly went out in my apartment.
"Well, today's just great ain't it?" I asked myself.
I felt something on top of me. I lifted my hands to try and push whatever it was off. It was then I felt a soft supple feeling. It was a woman's skin! The power came back on and lights revealed a woman in very bizarre looking clothing: Black sporty looking top and bottom, and weird leather frilly things. I quickly backed up against the wall.
"Oh, I must be dreaming," I said.
The woman appeared to be knocked out. Odd for my dreams, I never got into the drugged thing. I carefully looked over her. Suddenly she sat up on my bed!
"I'm from the earth assistance center, what would you like the most?" she asked.
"Well, I think I should know you're name," I said.
"Oh, how rude of me," the mysterious woman said, hitting her head. "I am goddess first class unlimited license Peorth,"
"Well, Peorth, what's this? A wish or something?" I asked.
"Yes! What is it you most desire?" she asked.
"Hmmm…" I thought.
Images went inside of my head about Ferraris, big houses, and beautiful women!
"Eh, that's so cliché," I said.
"I can give you unlimited wealth," Peorth said.
"Eh, I'd probably just get bored," I replied.
"How about? Super strength?" Peorth asked.
"Hmmm, tempting, but what is strength without working for it?" I asked.
"Well what do you want?" Peorth demanded.
"You know, for a dream you're not very nice," I said.
"I'm not a dream," Peorth replied.
"Alright," I replied, waving my hand. "Eh, I think I'm good," I replied, lying back down on my bed.
"Look, there has to be something!" Peorth yelled.
"Hmmm… don't got one," I replied.
Peorth grabbed me by my shirt collar and started shaking me!
"What the hell was that?" she demanded.
"I was just having fun, this is a dream right?" I asked.
Peorth touched my forehead. All the sudden I realized this was reality. I looked at Peorth in shock.
"What the hell are you?" I demanded.
"You'd call me a goddess," Peorth said.
"Hmm, well I guess today will be easier," I laughed.
I redialed my friend.
"Yo, we still having that pot luck?" I asked.
"Yeah, what are you bringing?" Kevin asked.
"How about…" I said. "Peorth, what can you cook?" I asked.
"Anything you wish," Peorth said.
"I'm not sure but put me down for a main dish," I said.
"Alright," Kevin replied, hanging up the phone.
I got up and looked at myself in the mirror.
"Another day older," I laughed.
"What is your wish?" Peorth asked.
I looked over Peorth.
"A lot of things," I said. "But cook something first and I'll tell you my wish!" I laughed.
Peorth all of the sudden teleported out of the room into the kitchen. I had something I had to do today. I put on my coat and drugged through the snowstorm to my car in the lot. I had brought my set of tools with me. I popped the hood open and looked at the engine. I fixed the engine or at least thought I did. I went into the car and turned the key.
"Ruuuhhhh, Ruuhhhhh," the car choked.
"C'mon work!" I yelled.
Nothing happened, we'd have to drudge through the storm to Kevin's house.
"Haaaahhhh, well just another one of those days," I laughed.
I walked back into the house where a mysterious aroma filled the air. I arrived in the kitchen where a roasted pig with pineapple rings on it was sitting on the counter.
"How did you do that?" I asked.
"Magic, now wish!" Peorth demanded.
"If I were to give you what you wanted what would that say?" I asked.
Peorth suddenly grabbed me by the collar again!
"Give me your wish!" Peorth demanded.
"Look, the fact I can't give you a wish probably means I'm happy with my life," I pondered.
Peorth stopped shaking me.
"Rose storm!" she shouted.
Suddenly rose petals swirled around me cutting my skin!
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" I yelled.
The roses settled down and Peorth was standing there with a rose in between her pointer and index finger.
"Do you take me lightly now?" Peorth asked.
"I never took you lightly," I replied. "Oh, snap look at the time! We got to go,"
"Where?" Peorth asked.
"A friend's house, we're having a party," I said. "Too bad my car doesn't work,"
Peorth snapped her fingers.
"Your car is fixed now," Peorth said.
"Thanks," I said.
I carefully wrapped the pig in tin foil. Peorth and I arrived at the party last. Kevin was the son of a rich man so he had an entire house for use in college. Lucky Bastard! The party was in half gear there were at least twenty people. I handed Kevin the pig.
"Dude! I wasn't aware you could cook like this!" Kevin exclaimed.
"Hmm, it wasn't me it was Peorth," I said, pointing behind me.
It was then I noticed Peorth hitting the alcohol. I didn't think much of it at the time. I walked over to the couch where Peorth was humming some weird tune.
"Well, you seem enamored by the beer," I said.
"Oh! You earthlings sure know how to make alcohol," Peorth said, snapping her fingers.
Suddenly rose pedals flooded the room! I "swam" out of the pedals to notice the room had turned into a place with a bunch of wormhole like things.
"Peorth!" I called out.
"Yes!" Peorth shouted, popping out of the rose pedals.
"What did you do?" I asked.
"I turned the house into a nexus of dimensions," Peorth said.
"Well, just peachy," I said. "How do I get out?"
"You have to go through them," Peorth said.
I dove into a wormhole and found myself on a large chessboard. I saw a rook piece come right at me! I dove out of the way and the rook crashed into a pawn. Suddenly a bishop came flying at me! I dodged out of the way again.
"I'm gonna die!" I announced.
I suddenly fell through a wormhole into another dimension this time in a boxing ring. I was boxing the heavyweight champ.
"And in this corner we have Jack Douglas!" the announcer said.
The bell rang and I stepped toward the champ. I threw a right jab. He blocked and threw a one-two. I got hit in the head and was pushed up against the ropes. I pushed off and was about to punch him when I fell through another wormhole into a strawberry milkshake! All the sudden I found myself tilting falling into someone's mouth. I swam trying to avoid being swallowed. I was swimming as hard as I could until I eventually found myself in the living room back at the party.
"What was that?" I asked.
"He, he, he, you were so funny," Peorth laughed.
"Take us home!" I ordered.
We teleported back to my apartment, I was on the floor looking up at the ceiling.
"Whoo, now that was fun," I said, looking behind me.
Peorth wasn't there.
"Hmm, was it all a dream?" I asked myself, standing up. "Ah, well it was fun while it lasted. I should probably see a psychiatrist about this dream I had."
I looked at the time 12:01 a.m. Time to go to bed, got school in the morning. I opened the door to my room where it had been turned into what looked like a sheik's bedroom with silk everywhere. I looked at the bed where Peorth was there wearing silk night ware.
"So, it was real!" I laughed.
Peorth got up from the bed and walked toward me.
"So, have you come up with a wish?" she asked.
"Can I just wish you back?" I asked.
A rose appeared in Peorth's hand.
"Whoa! Okay, I got a second wish. How about you stay with me for ever?" I asked.
A huge flash of light blinded me, once the light receded the room was back to normal.
"What the hell did you do that for?" Peorth yelled, shaking me!
"I don't know, today was pretty fun," I laughed.
"Unnn huh, huh, huh," Peorth cried
"Oh, c'mon it isn't that bad," I said.
"Okay, got to fulfill his wish," Peorth said focusing.
"Alright! First step to fulfilling my wish, time to go to bed!" I ordered.
I fell asleep knowing tomorrow would be a rough day.