Piss and Sting: The Lost Transcript

by BonkUppercut

This is the actual recorded transcript as Piss and Sting was written. See all the story's development in its full glory, and even witness the few sentences I forgot to record!

'a long time ago, in a server far, far away'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'there was a sniper with the sydney sleper, whom waved after every kill'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'and his trusty companion, a festive pyro with gooogly eyes'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'but one day, the sniper stopped waving, and threw piss to commemorate a slain foe'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'and by the hand of God, the piss splashed upon an opposing demoman'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'the sniper then blindly charged forward, shiv of the tribal's in hand'

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: 'and right behind him was his trusty companion, calling forth a burst of flames'

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'However, the demo was crafty, and fled into the sewers of the holy land of teufort'

DarkStarDestroyer: (i'm publishing this story online.) 'thus the pyro, his eyes infallibly googly, withdrew the Holy Scorch Shot of Antioch'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, the piss was quite strange, and refused to be removed by the waters of teufort, binding to the demo's cursed gold club'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'but the demo remained submerged, in hopes that he could evade the hellfires the pyro was summoning'

DarkStarDestroyer: (gotta go afk)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (Kay)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (dis is awesome)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: (back)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (:D)

DarkStarDestroyer: (your turn)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'The deom, being a crafty scotsman, led the sniper and his googly-eyed companio into a trap; that of an engibee nest'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: demo*

Liberty Prime |SR2|: companion*

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the pyro, for reasons unknown, foolishly attempted to airblast the rockets. needless to say, he failed and was critically injured'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'The sniper had obtained yet mor piss, and threw it at the engibee nest, critically damaging the constructs and humiliating the engibees'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: more*

DarkStarDestroyer: as the pyro lay bleeding out, he called for help from above. his pleas were answered when the Lord Gaben bestowed upon the sniper the fantastical Huntsman, along with the Taunt Key of Power'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'huntsman in hand, the sniper fired arrows, pinning engibees to walls, and taunting after every engibee slain'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'suddenly, a mystical glow erupted around them'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'the sniper, confused and suddenly in flames, launched piss at his feet'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'and the Lord Gaben spoke then, and he revealed the three words of ultimate power: "stab stab stab''

DarkStarDestroyer: (i love where this is going)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'with knowledge of these words, the sniper found targets, marking them for the hunt with jarate, and slaying them with an arrow to the torso. However, the natural predator of the sniper, the spybot, had appeared'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (me too)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'as a parting gift to the pair, Lord Gaben reached to the dying pyro and bestowed upon him the Ancient Medkit of Wisdom. With renewed vigor, the Pyro began his search for the spy'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, the spybot, being a specialty unit from Gray Mann, was fireproof'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'upon finding the spy and discovering this, the Pyro was forced to resort to his ultimate weapon: the Mystical Rake of Pyronus'

DarkStarDestroyer: (i'm running out of silly names)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'It was originaly a dark, horrifying artifact known as The Spine Render, and the Pyro undertook a difficult quest to purify it, though it still yearns for the spines of it's foes...

Liberty Prime |SR2|: '

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the spirit of the spine render searched for the spine of the spybot, and finding none in the robot, it deactivated itself, leaving Pyro powerless against the spybot's Dark Butterknife Attack'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, as all turned bleak, the sniper let loose jarate, shutting th robot down momentarily'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (are you gonna turn this into a source film?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (i totally should)

DarkStarDestroyer: (at some point i will)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (:D)

DarkStarDestroyer: (but not right now)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: 'with the spybot defeated, the pair set out to follow the legend of the Collector's Jarate, which was rumored to exist somewhere in Teufort'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'they searched everywhere but the hay rooms, as they only, to their knowledge, held hay'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'and in their haste, they neglected to see that their nemesis, the very same demo they had defeated, had sticky trapped their path'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'they were aided by a heavy, but a spy had slain him and fled before the stickies were all destroyed, chuckling'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'little did they know, the demo was armed with the Lost Eyelander of the Heavens, which he stood guard with as he waited for his foes to draw near'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'T

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'thinking it was but a claymore, the sniper threw his karate and pursued, heedless of the demo's range'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: Karate*

Liberty Prime |SR2|: Jarate*

DarkStarDestroyer: (lol)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (Auto correct sucks)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the demo, using the hidden power contained in the Eyelander, unleashed a storm of spirit warriors'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'surprised, the sniper pulled out his Sydney Sleeper and fire apon them, applying jarate'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the Mystical Rake of Pyronus, sensing the demo, reactivated, allowing the Pyro to cut throught the waves of skeletons'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'the sniper charged towards the demo, whom was now quaking in fear'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'and using the pyro's hellfire blaster, they burned their way past the demo and into the hayroom'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'pyro, seeing the great lost treasure before him, leapt for the pedestal'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'with patience instilled in him hunting for other snipers to apply piss to on the battlements, he merely...plays with the spy's knife...*uncloak sound*'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (shit, more like undisguise sound)

DarkStarDestroyer: (wait sniper is spy?! :O)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (he was backstaybed in awe of the jarate by a YER spy)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'pyro's googly eyes became even more googly as the realization hit him. no matter, he simply withdrew his trusty flamethrower, only to discover it was out of ammo'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'wishing he had visited the engineer's dispenser nearby, he drew out his flare gun'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'The Holy Scorch Shot of Antioch's power, however, was nigh useless against the crafty spy, who simply deflected its flares with the Crystal Dead Ringer'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, from the respawn, came the sniper, launching piss towards the spy'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the pyro did his best to help. although the power of the spine render was depleted, he alerted his team by running around yelling "thschnupprisuspy!"'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'then came a miracle worker in the form of a medic'

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I got 52 cents, what should I get)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'medic healed the pyro completely, but suddenly, the medic stopped. "Vich one of you is ze Sniper?" he said to the sniper and spy'

DarkStarDestroyer: (I got $2.71)

DarkStarDestroyer: (I say grab a genuine)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'the sniper pulled out his jarate and threw it at the figure next to him, drenching it in piss'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (if you want, you could grab an anger for 2 bucks)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the spy revealed, the medic did something unexpected: he threw his uber saw with pin point accuracy, embedding it in the forehead of the spy'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'the moment he pulled the ubersaw from the spi's skull, there was a horde of scouts, all of which wielding the Force a' Nature and charging madly'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (dude, grab a dead cone, the thing is awesome)

DarkStarDestroyer: (I am saving for an unusual one, I love that thing)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (yeah)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (all the good genuines I already have or are too expensive)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'with the flamethrower out of ammo, their only hopes was the Mystical Huntsman and its Taunt Key of Power, along with the mystical words, and the Holy Scorch Shot'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the Rake of Pyronus glowed, the spine render inside it awakened, and suddenly the rake was filled with power. Pyro slashed at the tank until all that was left was scrap metal, which pyro collected, turned into 2 refined metal, and bought a stout shako.'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'apon purchasing a stout shako, they had obtained a sizable force of demopans'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'upon the request of the demopans, they accepted a NEW quest: the find the Fountain of Refined.'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, a sniper, pyro, medic, and demopan army would not be enough; they had to call apon the local Grizzly Hoovy for help with the trials of this quest'

DarkStarDestroyer: (lol)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (hibernating bear set, all bear-like miscs)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'with their legion, the pair set out to Helmsdeep, where the first clue to the Fountain's location was rumored to be'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (fuck yes highfive tauntget)

DarkStarDestroyer: (impressive)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'midway to Helmsdeep, they heard rumour that the Fountain of Buds, which was but an ancient legend, resided in an old, decrepit area of teufort, of which was nearly impossible to access without the help of 12 thousand Grizzly Hoovies. Naturally, the dismissed these rumours'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: they*

DarkStarDestroyer: 'at helmsdeep, they met a friendly battlemedic who gave them the first clue: "Seek out the gateway to Badlands, the second clue awaits"'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'at the Badlands, they found a fearsome Gibspy, which wore a Gibus to betray it's power'

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: 'pyro tried to set it alight, but the Gibspy's Spycicle stopped the flames'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'apon being hit by a particle of duast, it unleashed it's dead ringer, fooling the treasure hunters'

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (should I pick up a S. Medigun?)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (and also S. Sticky Launcher?)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: (go right ahead on the sticky, medigun, no)

DarkStarDestroyer: (medigun takes forever to level up)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (So? I need it to be strange as hell)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (and it's not like the S. Kritz isn't worth 2.5 buds)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'with the gibspy taken care of, or so it seemed, the hunters looked for the next clue. On a wall was a painting of a grizzly hoovy'

DarkStarDestroyer: (if you wanna buy it go ahead, but i don't like it)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'next to said wall, was a piece of collector's steak, with the power to destroy walls'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'grizzly hoovy harnessed the steak's power to blow through the wall, when suddenly the gibspy backstabbed him'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'when the pyro turned it's flamethrower apon him, he merely laughed as he fled unharmed'

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (it's a Dr Enforcicle, just FYI)

DarkStarDestroyer: (i thought so)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (Yeah)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (ugh, my browser-set steam is in italian...what da fuck)

DarkStarDestroyer: (happened to me too)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (what the hell is up with dat?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (no clue, bro)

DarkStarDestroyer: (mine was croatian)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (continue?)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'with the loss of the hoovy, the hunters pressed on into the hidden tunnel. At the end was an ancient plaque. Two sentences were upon it: "The fountain sits waiting at Hightower" and "The legend of Teufort is true"

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, a hoovykin was found nearby fighting of 20 variants of Monoculus'

DarkStarDestroyer: (hoovykin?)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (Hoovy w/ Dragonborn helm and a fantastic beard. Duh)

DarkStarDestroyer: (ah.)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (and he uses the fingergun taunt all da time)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the sniper equipped his trusty huntsman, assisting the hoovy with his words of power, while pyro spammed flares everywhere'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, there were many a Monoculus, and the Demopans fought as hard as they could, but then Sir DeGroot of Degroot Keep appeared, slaying Monoculi as if they were mere AFK scouts'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'when finished, however, the noble gentleman bowed to them. "You have done well to gather this many pans. I dub you great heroes and grant you each passage to Hightower. Now we travel... with our MINDS"' And suddenly, they had arrived at hightower.' (nintendo references ftw)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'at hightower, the heroes were met with great confusion, as there was nothing out of the ordinary...sans a jack o' lantern. Apon investigation, they were transported to Helltower'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (my demo and Medic be so Strange)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: 'there was something shining on the bridge to the clocktower, but the bridge was quickly fading'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'with the last moment of the bridge being solid, Sir DeGroot rushed across the bridge, rope in hand'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'it was a Mann Co Supply Crate Key. Sir DeGroot tossed it back, then swung back with the rope. Unfortunately, his very gentlemanly hat fell of as he swung, so when he returned, he had turned into a regular demo'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'at the loss of Sir Degroot's hat, everyone sat, and mourned, unoticing the possible contents of the crate next to it'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'pyro, always looking for new eye accesories, pried open the crate, when a fountain of metal spewed out. they had found it! the demopans were running around, trying to buy each other's stout shakos, when an earthquake shook the ground, and a voice boomed, "COWER FOOLS! MERASMUS IS HERE!"'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, Sir Degroot, having noticed his hat on Merasmus's hat, threw his bottle at Merasmus, and reclaimed his hat'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (what other demo melee strange should I get?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (you already have sf eyelander right?)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (yep)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I think bottle or Scottish Handshake)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (also, Sir DeGroot is wearing the 'Scotch Bonnet' )

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (because why not)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'noticing the gentleman before him, Merasmus sat down and had a long and meaningful conversation with sir demo, while the others looked for a way out'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'all the while, the Demopans had fallen into anarchy'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'suddenly, all the refined in one place ripped open a hole into the item server. little did they know it led to an even harder quest: the Fountain of Buds'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, it required the Holy Key of Gaben to get to the first location of such a quest'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'when pyro tried to enter, he received an electric shock. he stumbled backward, when suddenly he noticed there was something else in the crate: a mold for a key'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'not just any key: THE HOLY KEY OF GABEN'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'it looked like they could forge the key with the refined they had. However, Merasmus looked over and saw the mold. "YOU FOOLS! THAT KEY CAN ONLY BE FORGED IN THE FIRES OF HELL!" Then Merasmus looked around and saw that they were indeed in hell. "NEVER MIND."'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, as they tried to forge, it appeared to require 2000 keys, a quantity that could only be found at the fountain of keys'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (What strange demo melee should I get?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (handshake)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (none exist or sumtin' no price)

DarkStarDestroyer: (nvm)

DarkStarDestroyer: (go with persuader)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I was thinking stock bottle, really. No downsides)

DarkStarDestroyer: (if ya say so)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (They're same price...hmm...)

DarkStarDestroyer: (GET BOTH)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (GENIUS)

DarkStarDestroyer: (i know right)

DarkStarDestroyer is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (just gotta scrounge up .66)

DarkStarDestroyer is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: Alright, sold off my desc tag. :D

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (Imma get da bottle first, wait a bit, then the persuader)

DarkStarDestroyer is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: How's it going?

DarkStarDestroyer: playing some mvm

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'the heroes had learnt that the first step in this journey was to go through, and get through, A STALEMATE ON HYDRO. No doubt existed for it being a near-impossible task'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (alt ending; and then Mersamus came by and gave dem all 800000000 buds lololol j/k)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'upon arriving at hydro, they found a choke point, where pyro got an idea. he threw down his stout shako, summoning ANOTHER army of demopans. they blocked the passage of both teams and annoyed the crap out of eveyone'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'then, seeing as the teams were blocked, the demopans rushed and quickly captured the control points, except the BLU's last one...'

DarkStarDestroyer: (wait what is the objective now)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (get through hydro by capping all da points. Right now BLU has 12 sentries and 4 BB Hoovies)

DarkStarDestroyer: (ah)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'seeing the strong defense, they had one option. Sniper ran in and yelled, "LOOK A FREE HAT!" everyone, even the sentries, turned to look, and the demopans quickly capped the point'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'the heroes victorious, raced to their next trial...'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: heroes,victorious*

DarkStarDestroyer: 'they were heading for well on a train, when through the window they saw the gibspy they had encountered, and he had a map. two birds, one stone'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, the gibspy proceeded to EAT the map, noting it tasted like a year-old sandwich'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (sandVich never goes bad, sandWich does)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (lololololololololololololol)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (no ideas?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (oh i got some)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (:D)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'as dramatically as possible, sniper burst out the window of the train, landing safely. the pyro was not so lucky'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'the pyro had gotten out of the train too late, hitting himself on the crossing sugn'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: sign*

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (shit outta ideas again?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (no i was busy)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'the pyro , dizzy as all hell, attempted to attack the spy, but fell on his face'

DarkStarDestroyer: (that's what i get for having googly eyes)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'then Sir DeGroot, swinging his eyelander, cut the spy through the center, revealing a map. Unfortunately, it was a map to the nearest ice cream store'

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (do i have any hats worth painting?)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'after getting delicious ice cream, which the pyro stuck on his head like a unicorn, they set out to return to Well, but the train had left'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'seeing as the train had left, the sniper had to use a skill he had honed over years of training;waiting a half-hour for the next train'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (waiting takes real skill)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'sir degroot had a PhD in waiting, and Pyro played with his googly eyes, but the demopans descended into chaos once more'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'within the chaos a leader of demopans emerged-the Double-Demopan, of which wore double the targe's, double the shutter glasses, double the hats, and double the pans'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (dude, you gotta do Sir DeGroot w/ the caps)

DarkStarDestroyer: (i'm sorry QQ)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (it's fine)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'suddenly, double demopan activated his double powers. Unfortunately, he used them on the wrong thing, and the time they had to wait for the train was doubled. (next) : 'seeing the opportunity, a suspicious-looking scoot (which shall be refferred to as 'The Deputy') took notice of the group'

(next) : 'behind the scoot was a war-hardened Engi with no tolerance for lawbreakers. the scoot approached first. "yo nice crate! mind if i borrow some a' dat ref-" he was promptly cut off by the engineer. "The name's Dick." when everyone giggled, including the scoot, dick frowned, but continued. "all these here demos are the problem. Their number of shutters is in CLEAR violation of the Ancient Contract of Pans, section 6, paragraph 9. (next) 'the great Sir DeGroot apparently knew the book from cover to cover, and stated that the law was phased out 7 years ago'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (your turn)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: '"ya got some nerve, mister." Dick said. "You wanna spend time in the slammer, keep talkin'. As it stands, I'm gonna need ya to surrender yer pans, pardner."

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'The Demopans were ENRAGED at the fact of being required to relinquish their pans. They went into a mad Panning frenzy, whilst also cooking 8000000 sandviches per second, causing a great change in the econemy.'

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the scent of sandviches attracted a horde of F2P hoovies, who temporarily shut down the item server once more with their Gibus powers.'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, Dick restored power, (he shall be referred to as The Sheriff now), with the scent of the Tomislav, crashing some other poor bastard's item server'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the simultaneous shutdowns opened a portal, which led to the other item server. upon stepping through the portal, they discovered an alternate reality where keys were worth a weapon, and the Gibus was worth 400,000 buds. Getting an idea, they went back through the portal and stole as many gibuses as they could. However, the sheriff was in hot pursuit...'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'apon entering the portal with the gibuses, they burned, and The Sheriff closed the portal, trapping the F2P hoovies'

DarkStarDestroyer: (in which reality?)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (The one where gibus=400k buds)

DarkStarDestroyer: (this oughta be good)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (your turn)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'with their newfound lack of gibuses, they set about looking to find enough keys to forge the Holy Key'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (are we in gibusville or norm world?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (gibusville)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (alright)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'However, the gibus hoovies were killed by a random fish falling from the sky'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'suddenly, a total pro sniper walked up to them. "Hey wankers, where are yer gibuses? or yer pyrovision?!" suddenly the pro gasped. "you must be noobs. I'd give ya some good stuff, but i can't spare a whole lot. Take these 50 keys and buy yourself a few weapons."'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, the fish ate the pro sniper, as it was Fishuin, the Doom-Bringer!'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'they knew they must slay the beast and recover the keys in order to forge the Holy Key. Sir DeGroot charged with his eyelander'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'However, in a shocking twist (not), Fishuin ate the eyelander. However, it was killed from the inside by the cursed blade'

DarkStarDestroyer: (going afk)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (kk)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now Away.

DarkStarDestroyer: (which strange cosmetic should i buy)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now Online.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (what classes do you man?)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: main*

DarkStarDestroyer: (sniper solly an pyro)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (hmm...)

DarkStarDestroyer: (get this, i bought a s cockswain for 6.55)

DarkStarDestroyer: (wanna buy it?)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (Nah, I'm good, also, do you have the day's events recorded?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (not atm)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (continue?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (ok)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'after declining the gibus offers, they determined that something was off.'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, none of them could quite tell what until a fellow wearing some the most expensive of hats they knew was in an alleyway, begging'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'suddenly those gibus offers started seeming pretty good, but if hats couldn't pass through the portal, neither could buds. Keys, though, were just what they needed

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'so, they accepted an offer that yielded several hundred keys, all in return for the gibus'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'suddenly the mold for the Holy Key began to glow'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, they learnt that to finish it, they needed a Strange Kritzkrieg, of which they could now afford'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'however, when they attempted to purchase one, the trader left the server mid trade'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, some crazy fool with insane degrees of luck was selling crate 30's for a mere scrap each. Naturally they bought over 15 of them'

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now Online.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (your turn)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'the crate seller took his scrap and ran, typing furiously in chat "u just got scamd n00b nao im gon go buy 500 gibuses bai" then he left the server.'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, in a turn of events, the trader was overwhelmed by a spycrab nest, and the heroes opened all 15 crates...to find not single kritzkrieg. The local engineer was turned inside-out by this complete lack of probability'

DarkStarDestroyer: 'suddenly a vaguely familiar stranger, covered in pincer wounds and wearing a Marxman, hobbled over. "omg u wana by a strnage krttzkrg? i hz 1 for a scrap"

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, recognizing him, the heroes punched him in the crotch and took the kritzkrieg, as the report system here was...less than reliable'

DarkStarDestroyer: (yay you got it)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (scammer got his just desserts)

DarkStarDestroyer: (the marxman is good disguise)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (aye)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (but remember, they have Sir DeGroot and The Pyro and The Sniper. Dey be pro)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'connecting the kritzkreig, the keys, an the fountain of ref, the mold glowed with an impossible brightness'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, some asshole scoot ran off with one of the keys before it could be made, *creating filler* making them search for one, as it was too damn early to go to a trade server''

DarkStarDestroyer: '"hey, is that a key over there?" asked sir degroot in the most filler-reducing way possible'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, a spycrab nest was located there, and the pyro's flamethrower was useless, as the key (and nest) were under water'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (filler filler lolol)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (that'll be the last of the filler)

DarkStarDestroyer: (okay mate)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (unless we can find better filler)

DarkStarDestroyer: (*trollface*

DarkStarDestroyer: )

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (we need genuinely good stuff, 'do)

DarkStarDestroyer: (suddenly merasmus came and blew them up and blew up 4all ther keys and the mold and the ref the end)

DarkStarDestroyer: (like that?)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (that was terrible)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (:3)

DarkStarDestroyer: (exactly)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (we need to find another key and craft the holy key of gaben, then you post it)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: (for reals this time) 'suddenly sniper had an idea. "you know, besides lord gaben, i wonder who ELSE has infinite power. PROBABLY NOT MERASMUS." Suddenly merasmus appeared. "YOU FOOLS. MY POWER IS LIMITLESS!"'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, then Sir DeGroot demanded his cursed blade back, and Merasmus failed utterly. He DID manage to spawn a key, however'

DarkStarDestroyer: (got any robo parts? i need some)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (Need KB-808?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (two of those)

DarkStarDestroyer: (also need a unique kill streak item)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (need 2 of 'em?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (6 money furnaces)

DarkStarDestroyer: (1 taunt processor)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I can do the 2 KB-808's)

DarkStarDestroyer: (a humor pump)

DarkStarDestroyer: (that's it)

You have accepted the trade request from Liberty Prime |SR2|.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (Found an eyelander just now)

DarkStarDestroyer: (nice)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (your turn)

DarkStarDestroyer: (thanks mate)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (no problem)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'sniper innocently asked "can we have that key?" "NO, YOU FOOLS," replied merasmus. "YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF SUCH A TREASURE."'

DarkStarDestroyer: (also, i need the arc from the other day, right after the fish died)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, then Sir DeGroot punched him for not being given his sword back, as he knew merasmus (FUCK)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'had the sword behind him'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (what's the last part you got?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (the giant fish died and i offered you my cockswain)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I think the sniper (alt universe) gave the heroes le gibus)

DarkStarDestroyer: (yeah can you copy paste)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I reset my computer yesterday and closed and re-entered steam today, we're boned)

DarkStarDestroyer: (oh well i can copy paste our names so it looks like the chat log)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (okay?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (i want to upload two versions, the normal version with our names removed and paragraph structure and stuff, and a Lost Transcript with our full chat log)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (so, even the crap that had no relation?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (ESPECIALLY that crap)

DarkStarDestroyer: (ike the gibspy quotes)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (the Gibuspy quotes are important. We can make them once agsin)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (my tablet may have what we need, though)

DarkStarDestroyer: (YES)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (but we gotta wait for it to recharge)

DarkStarDestroyer: (ok)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I have hopes, but doubts that they'll be fulfilled)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'as a gesture of revenge, Merasmus disintegrated the key he had conjured. this gave Sniper another, BETTER idea. "Hey wizard, i betcha can't kill all these spycrabs."'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, Merasmus failed horribly and the Bombinomicon had to do it instead'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (you shoulda told me of the lost transcript bit, man)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (also; to think we've been doing this for a week)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (it's surprising)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'though the key was flaming hot, the pyro was able to grab it thanks to his suit. the heroes ran as fast as possibe, when the keys, refined, and kritz all liquefied. Everyone panicked until suddenly the liquid flew into the mold and another flash of light blinded them'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'out of the light came two things; Sir DeGroot's blade, and the Holy Key of Gaben. However, the crew had to hustle to get back to their own world'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (bro, record everying every night before bed)]

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (safer dat way)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'suddenly a voice came from above. "Hi, this is Gabe Newell."'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'apon the great, awe-inspiring voice, an Unusual Gaben's Glasses with Floating Sales had appeared on all the heroes' heads'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: gabe glasses*

DarkStarDestroyer: 'with the glasses on they saw a rift in the world. they could finally return home!'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: 'however, in said path was a strange being, once known as Silas Mann...' (you may need to do a smidge of research, buddy)

DarkStarDestroyer: (nah, the HHH, right?)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (aye)

DarkStarDestroyer: (bloody hell!)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I wanted to be mildly cryptic. :3)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (BESIDES, they have the power of the Unusual Gabe Glasses with Floating Sales and the Pyro, Sniper, Sir DeGroot, and that wizard guy that doesn't really deserve mention)

DarkStarDestroyer: (lol)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (:3 :3)

DarkStarDestroyer: (anyway, gotta go watch the second Matrix movie)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (record this now, man)

DarkStarDestroyer: (done, see ya)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (cya)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (My tablet doesn't have it...)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I grabbed a S. Persian Persuader. :D)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now playing Team Fortress 2. Click here to join.

DarkStarDestroyer: (gnight mate

DarkStarDestroyer: (also, got myself another s. boombringer for cheap)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (coo')

DarkStarDestroyer: (is level 22)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (coo')

DarkStarDestroyer: (now i have 99 and 22 s. boombringers)

DarkStarDestroyer: (put the 99 one on the market)

DarkStarDestroyer: (wait is 22 or 99 cooler?)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now Offline.

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Connected again and rejoined chat.

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Liberty Prime |SR2|: (heyo)

DarkStarDestroyer: (mornin')

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (G'mornin')

DarkStarDestroyer: (what are ya up to)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (demoknighting w/ my persuader)

DarkStarDestroyer: (i like it, i just wish it collected heads)

DarkStarDestroyer: (wanna buy a s. boom bringer)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (how much?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (1.2-1.5 keys)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (I'm...13 ref short)

DarkStarDestroyer: (well lemme check your bp i'll find a deal)

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (how are you gonna make a 'deal' with my backpack as i is?)

DarkStarDestroyer: (trade offer)

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now Offline.

Your state is set to Offline.

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Connected again and rejoined chat.

Liberty Prime |SR2| is now Online.

DarkStarDestroyer: my damn item server is down.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: Damn.

DarkStarDestroyer: ikr

Liberty Prime |SR2|: In SFM or TF2?

DarkStarDestroyer: sfm has no item server

DarkStarDestroyer: but tf2 wont display in my inv

DarkStarDestroyer: so i can''t send you the offer

Liberty Prime |SR2|: What WOULD you offer, anyways?

DarkStarDestroyer: my strange boombringer for the equivalent of 13 ref

Liberty Prime |SR2|: Soooo...what items?

DarkStarDestroyer: i don't know, since my item server is down i can't see your tf2 inv

Liberty Prime |SR2|: Ah. So begins the stalemate-on-hydro-long wait...

DarkStarDestroyer: precisely. gaben is mad that we took his holy key.

Liberty Prime |SR2|: But he gave ze Gabe Glasses with Floting Sales!

DarkStarDestroyer: which brings me to the ending.

DarkStarDestroyer: 'As they passed through the portal to return to their own world, Silas Mann grinned at them with his creepy pumpkin head. Rather than murdering them, though, he gave them the ultimate treasure that no buds could buy

DarkStarDestroyer: '

DarkStarDestroyer: (wait)

DarkStarDestroyer: 'he gave them a copy of Half Life 2 Episode 3.'

Liberty Prime |SR2|: (HOLY HELL! PURE GENIUS!)

DarkStarDestroyer: (exactly)